Child Abuse, Divorce and the Legal System PT 2

Majority of my good friends both that I have made over the years from 13 years of Starcraft and both through work/college/school/etc... are aware that I have been going through a grueling divorce and custody battle for the past year.

I always heard horror stories about how "the legal system always favor the woman" throughout a divorce. And now I can see just that it is very true. I'm not a stupid individual, far from it. I spent 2 years doing law school and I have 2 degrees outside that. I'm not a terrible father, if anything I would say I'm a great father to my daughter. But one thing remains, and that is how biased, sexist and pathetic the legal system truly is.

To begin, my daughter was born in November 2008, throughout the pregnancy (if anyone has kids will be aware of this), my ex-wife was blood tested for numerous issues such as diabetes, stds and the like. Everything came back fine and normal. Ok cool story right? Remember this paragraph because it will come into play later.

I go back to United States Air-Force because I wanted to provide a life for my daughter that she deserves. No worries about a paycheck, no worries about having a house, no worries about growing up and being protected and safe. I did just that. While I was gone for the military in July 2009 until November 2009, my ex-wife at the time was pregnant yet again. Trust me Ive added up the times and they don't make sense to me nor do they make sense to family/friends as well. Throughout these months I received numerous letters/calls stating that she was in control, and she was gonna be doing this and doing that. Cool story bro? Remember this paragraph as well, it does come into play later.

So I come back, move down to Florida for my next base. During this time, I was there for 2.5 years. Sure who can complain right? It's Florida. Sunny weather, sandy beaches, babes in bikinis, fantastic location right? Not for me. My ex-wife did nothing but start to ruin my military career here. She would not do anything to maintain the house, wouldn't clean, wouldn't pick-up toys or do laundry. I was working 8-12 hours a day both days and nights, and I'd come home and have to be the one who does it. It took me literally 10 minutes max, to put clothes in a washing machine, move clothes to a dryer, pick up toys, vacuum the floor and get dishes in a dishwasher. So why couldn't she? "She didnt have enough time in the day". Cool story.

So while we were stationed in Florida, one evening I got called into work to watch a alert mission that was unannounced. My ex-wife was informed and she was going to watch our daughter for the night. That night, she threw a fit didn't want to go sleep, she was 18 months old, that's what she is gonna do. My ex-wife put a pillow, A PILLOW, over her face to make her stop crying. I never knew about this until I got a phone call from my Squadron Commander stating I was gonna be receiving a knock at my door from CPS and Police. I was furious, upset, frustrated but most of all disappointed. This all occurred because my ex-wife openly admitted this to a mental health physician two days later.

A investigation took place both through civilian and military. This is still relevant today.

Ok speed up the clocks. Now in Washington. My ex-wife followed the same trends, not wanting to do anything, sitting there ignoring everything. Now my shifts were all 12 hours, majority nights. I was still picking up all the slack. Enough was enough. I filed for divorce and moved out, she stayed in base housing. When I did this, my ex got involved in some cult sect or over aggressive form of a church where she threw away all of my daughters clothes and replaced with very long dresses, removed all electronics and toys and so on. Ok cool? I spent over $500 in clothes just to replace them for my daughter so she had stuff to where with me, bought her plenty of toys, a new bed for her to sleep in and even a dog to have.

So time for the fun legal stuff. My ex goes to get a restraining order against me because shes been "Mentally" abused. She gets it granted. I dont get to speak to my daughter from October 2012 until December 2012. I missed her birthday couldn't even say happy birthday to her on the phone without being in contempt and arrested. I get the restraining order reversed after spending $10k on a attorney just to be able to talk to my daughter.

My ex starts getting her friends to write under oath statements against me saying on this specific date at this specific time they saw me beat my daughter and verbally abuse my ex-wife. Three of these statements surfaced. Ok cool. Moving on, she gets her friends to come by my apartment to harass me and try messing with me. It got so bad one night that it actually made the newspaper and a harassment report was filed against them by the police officer who didn't even show up because it was on private property.

Next thing, my ex-wife leaves base housing and caused $1100 in damages to the house that I'm responsible for because "im the military member" however i moved out in August and the court order that was placed dictated she was the primary resident and responsible authority of that residence.

Next thing, my daughter starts coming to me with bruises all over her body, she was informing me of the abusive things her mother and mothers "cult sect" friends were doing to her such as hitting her, cussing at her, grabbing her and so on. It got to the point where my daughter hit herself in her frontal portion of her abdomen (groin) so I took her to the hospital for potential sexual abuse. Child services sends over a case worker, interviews take place, a call is made to CPS. NOTHING HAPPENS. Cps never investigated not once. By state law, CPS is ordered to investigate any form of child abuse whether physical, sexual, verbal or emotional to include neglect. Never happened.

Continuing on, more abuse happens, I find more marks on her, take her back to the hospital, another case worker gets involved, makes another report to CPS, and again, NOTHING HAPPENS. This time, I write a letter to my state rep who gets involved. They file a injunction against CPS , I get a call same day, and they tell me directly on the phone they wont be investigating. Ok that is strike 3. Enjoy a lawsuit for negligence and not abiding by your own dictated state law. That will be a fun battle there. During this time, my daughter whose now 4.5 told me that her mother was putting a pillow over her face yet again. There is no way she remembered that occurrence and this was definitely something new. I made this clear to local police and they dont do anything. Nothing!

So my ex-wife continues to try and do whatever she can. She makes bogus complaints of contempt against me such as "not paying her car insurance". The car she currently has in her possession is under my name only not hers not combined. Only mine. Ok its not gonna be insured because I dont need a second car. You see to do just fine getting around from point a to point b with your friends. So she not only tries to take me to court for that (which a Judge does not find me in contempt), she tries to call the cops on me for removing the license plates. They do nothing. Yay! Finally something good happens right?

The court orders a investigator to conduct interviews and make a professional opinion based on the interviews on who the child should stay with. She interviews my ex first who goes on to tell her I was beating her since 2011 (during the military time) and that I was arrested for shop lifting and banned from Walmart nationwide. Ok really? For one, Im military, if you would have said anything to anyone about any form of abuse, it would have been rectified asap and I would have been watched like a hawk by special investigations. Second, banned from walmart nationwide? Really? Am I going to try and walk into a Walmart and see Mutumbo telling me to my face "No No No"? I don't think so. I informed her of the circumstances, sure I was stopped for allegedly shoplifting, questioned, finger printed to see if I had a record, and go to court. Upon the first appearance, its dropped and nothing more. Go figure. More bullshit lies from my ex.

Remember those two paragraphs? Here is where it comes in. My mother went to a appointment with my ex in 2009 and during that appointment found out that my ex tested positive for HSV2 (Genital Herpes). I was furious. I literally told my mother on the phone "Are you fucking serious?" So I get tested and go figure, I don't have HSV2, HSV1, Chlaymdia, HIV, Hep-A, Hep-B, Syphillis, nothing, absolutely clean. So where the fuck did you get it? I'm not a stupid person, but you were surely messing around with some nasty you know what.

I sent the investigator over 110MB of text message conversations showing how neglectful my ex is. Talking about how my daughter is playing with a bag of trash and glass in it and she cut her hand. Ok why was she playing with it? Talking about how she cant take her to a appointment 10 minutes away but can go to seattle for her other child? Makes no sense? I sent her over 100 pictures of bruises on her body, 3 hospital records, 2 audio recordings of my ex-wife being verbally abusive towards me and my daughter, military regulations to show she supposedly had options if she was being abused, work logs and schedules and records from my mother who supervised my ex for 6 months.

So right now, I'm in a state of limbo waiting for the determination of custody. Do I have any faith that I'm going to get custody? Absolutely no I don't because this system is so biased it's not even funny. No one wants to do anything for anyone other than the woman. As you can see its very far and few between anyone helping my situation because I am the father. I'm supposedly always the abusive one. How many fathers can you name in the past 2-3 years that have made the news for hurting/killing their children? I can only think of one and that was that Texas Judge who beat his daughter on webcam. How many woman can you name? Casey Anthony, the nanny from new york who killed 2 kids, a mother in Florida who killed all 4 kids, a mother in South/North Carolina killed her 2 kids and injured her husband, a mother in Florida who killed her 4 kids, and a mother who killed her 3 kids and posting a scan of her unborn child on facebook before doing it in Suffolk, VA.

What do people not understand? This biased attitude that a man cannot be a single parent and succeed is disgraceful. Women are just as capable if not more capable of killing someone than a man is. This isn't the 50s where Men do everything. Look at it the past few years. More women are committing these types of crimes then ever before. People need to step the fuck up and realize this and literally fight for equal rights as it has happened once before. Men deserve to be treated fairly just as women are, especially with children.

So what have I honestly learned about the whole situation or any advice for others going through a divorce?

¤ Take notes on everything that happens. Dates, times, incidents everything.
¤ Always have a 3rd party with you to verify your whereabouts just in-case.
¤ Keep your work schedules.
¤ Keep every single text message.
¤ Keep every cell phone/landline bill with a detailed print out of dates/times/# called
¤ Be prepared to deal with alot of bogus crap
¤ Don't throw away anything that you believe may help you. If you have any doubt if it'll be helpful, keep it!

http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=414684

https://www.facebook.com/tidusx99/posts/532415204391

Child abuse and neglect is without a doubt the most horrendous crime that anyone can do. And it is also absolutely pathetic how this government, this country, but above all, this legal system that oversee's "Justice", "Right and wrong", and enforces the "Law" is absolutely biased, sexist but above all corrupt. It is absolutely amazing how so many people within this system to include Police, Hospital officials, social workers, Child Protective Services, Court appointed officials, Senior Military Officials within the respective department that deal with children, State Representatives who oversee Child Protective Services / Department of Social and Health Service, and so on know a crime is being committed against a child and just "turns the other way" and allows it to continue. They don't speak up, they don't act but most of all they don't care and allow it to continue.

This country and legal system needs to truly wake up and understand that women can be just as cruel, demeaning, abusive and deceitful as a man could be. Who is to say a Father can't raise a child by himself? Whose to say a Father isn't capable of raising a child by himself? Whose to say that Father is "by himself" when he has had countless people within a support system to include Parents, Sibling and spouse, family friends, friends of the father, and a prior Supervisor who have been there to listen and care and willing to help through the issues. When a child is being abused physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually, this is a crime. To be exact it is a Class A/B/C felony (per RCW 9A.36.120/9A.36.130/9A.36.140).

For individuals being aware of the issues, knowing what is going on especially when they are directly told by the child themselves is not only condoning the abuse to continue but is also committing a crime (RCW 26.44.080). Aside from not reporting, as stated condoning the abuse which in turn is a additional charge of aiding and abetting a crime to be committed against a child (accessory to the matter).

Now let's continue moving forward. Child Protective Services - you are without a doubt a piss poor ran organization who doesn't do shit for anyone. You as a organization are biased without a doubt. You received three complaints of child abuse and neglect, TWO of which were from two different Social Workers from two different hospitals. By mandated law (specifically RCW 26.44.050), "Upon the receipt of a report concerning the possible occurrence of abuse or neglect, the law enforcement agency or the department of social and health services must investigate and provide the protective services section with a report in accordance with chapter 74.13 RCW, and where necessary to refer such report to the court." That is three occassions you didn't follow state regulations, which to me, is three different occurrences of crimes being committed directly against your organization. You allowed my daughter to continue to live in a abusive situation, allow her to be hurt physically/mentally/emotionally/sexually, but most of all, you failed to aid and help a child in need which is the sole purpose of Child Protective Services. You failed to PROTECT a Child.

Yes I am going to name drop and I truly don't care. It is a given right set forth by the 1st Amendment of the Constitution (Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.). Representative David Sawyer received a direct letter sent by me in regards to what I was having to deal with. No agency, no person, literally a failed country, was doing nothing to help my daughter who was in need of help. I was literally a father in need of help. Your office did nothing. All you did was contact Child Protective Services/Department of Social and Health Services, the same organization that you directly chair and oversee, and from my understanding, literally didn't enforce the state mandated investigation. They in turn called me and said "were still not going to investigate." You are indeed a failure to this legal system and a broken link in this government and political system. Your own personal statement states "Our veterans serve as an inspiring example for all of us: They have sacrificed for the greater good to keep us strong and safe. We need to make sure their hard-earned rights are protected." I am a veteran and a father. You failed at ensuring my hard earned rights were protected and my daughters care which is no longer pertinent since I lost it all because you and the agencies you oversee didn't act.

Senior Military Officials in the respective areas of Children, specifically child care, who were made aware of the child abuse, did not act. This is a absolute failure. You are a member of the Armed Forces or employed by the United States Government, and you are required by law to follow more stringent rules and regulations while abiding by civilian mandates as well. When a parent or a child makes a report, and you choose to not act, you have failed everyone including your country. You truly deserve to be stricken of all benefits and fired from your position without being able to set foot in any closely relating field again. Absolutely pathetic.

The one that truly shows this country is absolutely pathetic is the legal system. Police, court appointed officials and Judges are without a doubt the most pathetic, biased and unjust individuals. You are made aware of issues with deliberate evidence directly from the child's mouth who herself reported the issues, which was in turn documented by Hospital Physicians and Social Workers within the Hospital, which in turn you read and saw on official hospital records, but in turn you didn't care. You did nothing. You "looked the other way" and act like it doesn't happen. You still want my daughter to remain in that situation to continue being abused and neglected over a loving, caring and protective father. Yes I am a Man. Yes I am a father. Yes the historical trends show that "men tend to show violence more towards others" but times change. Times evolve. This country evolved from sexism in the 50s/60s and allowed Women to do anything that they in turn wanted and it should have been that way since day 1 the US Constitution was signed in 1776 because all are created equal and are given equal rights.

The law does not state "A Father cannot raise a child by himself." The law does not state "A Father cannot be the primary custodial parent of a child." You are in a position to look at a subject without bias and look at all the evidence given and received and make a just and fair decision. When you receive 6 testimonies of individuals, 36 exhibits of evidence that dictate child abuse and neglect by the mother, and you receive no testimony or evidence from the mother to in turn counter and show that she wasn't indeed doing this, which in those eyes she was not disagreeing that it was happening, and you still make the determination to allow this precious little girl to remain in that situation. You have failed as a judge, you have failed your Oath of Office for United States Judges, but most of all you have failed to uphold and protect the safety and well being of a little girl.

When a Father and his support system fights for nearly 2 years directly in court, pays over $30,000 in legal fees, and endures countless forms of deceit and conflict with trying to see and spend time with his daughter, it is truly sad that this legal system can't see the obvious. All because of historical trends that "Men" are the ones who are prone, when Women are indeed just as if not more than capable of committing these crimes and trying to prevent a Father from seeing his daughter, to take care of her, to protect her, but most of all show her that she is without a doubt his pride and joy.

It is absolutely true the horror stories you hear and read about when Fathers try to protect their children from situations such as this. It is absolutely true that Mothers get away with these crimes and Fathers are the ones who have to suffer.

From the start I wanted to be the primary custodial parent and go through joint custody (50/50) with my ex-wife while she was very open with the judge that she wanted 100% and did not want me to have any contact with my daughter at all. By definition that is abusive use of conflict which from the start I was alleged to be doing which was found wrong every single complaint. I have endured more pain than anyone could ever want too. I have sat back and watched as no one did nothing to help my daughter stay safe and healthy but instead watch her come to me with bruises over her body including her arms/legs/face/back, that she is being hit and grabbed by her mother and mothers friends, that she is being cussed at and put down by everyone she is around. My daughter does not deserve this and this government, this legal system and this country have failed her. Not only have they failed her, but they have failed every other law abiding citizen who has belief in this country and the rights that they have that were set by their forefathers. This country no longer has my faith and I am a 5 year veteran of the United States Air Force who was willing to pay the ultimate price for those rights.

I'm not looking for pity, I haven't received any through the whole process and don't expect any now. I don't care if anyone truly spends the time to read this story. I don't care if anyone shares this story. What I do care about is making people aware of how corrupt this country and the legal system truly are. If people were more informed that shit like this goes on, maybe, just maybe, other children will not have to pay the price that my daughter has had too. Maybe other parents will not have to endure this amount of scrutiny as I did. And maybe family and friends of people who are enduring this, will be able to understand more of what they are going through. All I ask is for people to understand that I am a Father who loves his daughter very much. I have since the first day she was born. I was the first one to hold her when she was born, and when my last day on Earth is, she will be the last thing I hold. I will continue to fight for her safety every day and I will always be there to pick her up every time she falls. She is without a doubt the number one thing in my life that makes me continue moving forward and sadly keeping just a bare minimum of hope and faith in life after enduring all of this.