After having walked around feeling sad for myself the entire day, I realized that I had to write this blog to get it out of my head and then move on. I also like the perfect timing my experience yesterday had with + Show Spoiler [WCS Grand Final] +
Jaedong getting his 5th 2nd place.
So here comes the background. I am currently a 23 year old doing my masters degree in Economics, Business Administration and Information Management at University of Aarhus (the Danish university that qualified for CSL). Before that I did a bachelors degree in Economics, Business Administration and Information Technology.
Before I started at university, I attended what is called a Business Gymnasium. (From I was 15-18). I was the smartest in my class, and I finished with the 2nd highest GPA of all students (around 180-200). Back then I thought, well no biggie, 2nd is pretty good and the guy who had the highest GPA is almost non-human and is today still the smartest person I know, who just received the award for highest GPA on the bachelors degree in Denmark with the highest GPA-requirements for entry. So needless to say I accepted my defeat without much further ado. And so began my personal Kong line.
Fast forward to spring 1½ years ago in 2012. I was on my 4th semester of my bachelors degree. I was doing pretty well and was generally still considered the smartest in our class. I had picked up helping various 1st semester students pass the classes that they either had to take over or which they just considered to be really hard. Stuff like statistics and maths, but also basic accounting and cost theory. I didn't charge and mainly helped friends or friends of friends. Because of this help I was nominated for the "Fellow student of the year"-award that spring. A pretty prestigious award at our University, and obviously I was psyched. Got my picture taken and appeared on posters and shit around campus, mom really proud etc. So I went to the show, got to bring a +1, took my girlfriend and we sat through the show. Needless to say that I lost, to the Chairman of the board of the largest student union at campus. Probably the most known face around campus, so again I wasn't too sad. I had deluded myself into believing I had a chance against him, but in hindsight, I had no chance what so ever. Still no biggie, I had had a nice evening with my gf and was honored just to have been nominated. (Of all the names submitted to the committee, I was still one of 3 people to be accepted).
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I defended my bachelors thesis at the end of May, and I have now begun my masters thesis. I ended up finishing in the top 5% of our class (around 350-400 students). It is custom at our university that McKinsey & Company invite the top 5% out to eat and network at a fancy restaurant. They also hand out awards to the highest GPA's within 4 separate lines of study. I already knew that I couldn't win the award because one of my friends had that one on lockdown, but again, I was happy getting invited and getting free food and cocktails plus a good occasion to network with some really cool people. So I went, obviously didn't win and accepted that as well.
Which brings us to yesterday evening. The award show which I attended 1½ year ago was back for another installment. It had undergone a rebranding and was now back stronger and more prestigious than ever. Once again I was nominated (something which in itself is pretty rare), this time for the award "IT-student of the year". This time, it wasn't up to my fellow students to vote for me, it was the company sponsoring the award that got to pick the winner.
I felt like I had a good chance, I had picked up teaching "Modelling of Information Systems" during my 5th semester and I still teach it, my first class passed the subject with a 10.3/12, where our own class the year before had done a 6.3/12. I finished top 5% on my bachelors degree. I had done a summer internship at a large Danish Business Intelligence software developer, the same company which sponsored the award. Hell I even started working there as a student consultant, I had my first day of work 2 days ago where I helped my boss develop a Use Case template for internal use which he had forgotten he had to have ready at a meeting.
The other 2 nominated where a former student of mine that owns his own small IT-consultancy company, and the head of IT of the aforementioned large student union at our university. Once again I suited up, I brought my +1 (this time not my gf as she was busy) and headed to the award show.
+ Show Spoiler [Pics related] +
So I find myself, once again, chatting with my boss (who is a great guy, very inspiring both as a leader and as a person) about work etc. Time passes and I get more and more tense. I want this so badly. When it is finally time for the award to be handed out. I end up losing to the guy whom I used to teach. Once again, 2nd.
Having been so close, so many times, I really wanted that win yesterday, I wanted it so badly, not because it would change anything. I have a great student job, I teach a class with really great student, I am doing the masters degree i wanted to do. But I wanted it so fucking much, I wanted it for me, I wanted to stand on that fucking stage, lifting that stupid fucking trophy, and just for once, being the best. Not the 2nd best, the fucking best.
After I had let it sink in, I had a good night with my friends, we partied and had fun. And as I drunkenly walked home from the University, I checked the Aligulac twitter on my phone (which I had outsourced to @TLR_Sabre for the evening due to the show) and saw that + Show Spoiler [WCS Grand Finals] +
Jaedong had lost once more.
While I respect the guy who won yesterday, he is hardworking, smart and genuinely a nice guy, I just wished that he could have won something else so that I finally could have cast the shackles of the Kong line.
So there you have it TL, the story of someone who has no right to complaint, yet still felt the need to do it. Thankfully tomorrow is a new day. I'll submit myself to your #FirstWorldProblems comments now.