|
|
Your flow in the second stanza was a bit convoluted.
What a retard he truly is, a Total lack of the gene for jizz And now I'm out of words to rhyme - A major offense and a capital crime.
Would have cut out the third - useless for the most part as you've already effectively closed.
|
|
On September 06 2012 08:02 Kaeru wrote: Qwyn pro-poet :D
I noes, From top to toes!
|
5/5
2/5 for the poem (only 1st stanza was any good) 55/5 for the video xD
|
your Country52796 Posts
The poem, I believe, is someone insufficient. When a poem is written, it should be obvious what is meant. Video is ok.
|
Wtf was that kid doing in that video? Did he hit himself in the head on purpose and then post it on youtube? If that's the case then I'd say your blog title is a fair assessment.
Also when you see the word jizz in the poem, it loses a couple of points. 2/5
|
On September 06 2012 07:52 Qwyn wrote: Your flow in the second stanza was a bit convoluted.
What a retard he truly is, a Total lack of the gene for jizz And now I'm out of words to rhyme - A major offense and a capital crime.
Would have cut out the third - useless for the most part as you've already effectively closed. Qwyn could be one of those rap stars you see everyday on BET
|
On September 06 2012 12:30 Roe wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2012 07:52 Qwyn wrote: Your flow in the second stanza was a bit convoluted.
What a retard he truly is, a Total lack of the gene for jizz And now I'm out of words to rhyme - A major offense and a capital crime.
Would have cut out the third - useless for the most part as you've already effectively closed. Qwyn could be one of those rap stars you see everyday on BET
Thank you. I try to make my sarcasm read like a total try-hard.
|
So you laugh at people who have mental disabilities, and make TL threads to make fun of them?
|
On September 06 2012 11:06 Epishade wrote: Wtf was that kid doing in that video? Did he hit himself in the head on purpose and then post it on youtube? If that's the case then I'd say your blog title is a fair assessment.
Also when you see the word jizz in the poem, it loses a couple of points. 2/5
I coudn't find anything to rhyme. Is that sucha crime?
|
On September 06 2012 13:50 superbarnie wrote: So you laugh at people who have mental disabilities, and make TL threads to make fun of them?
He isn't mentally disabled, it was supposed to be a lame video that would like be fake, but instead he slammed it into his head (accidentally) xD...
|
On September 06 2012 13:37 Qwyn wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2012 12:30 Roe wrote:On September 06 2012 07:52 Qwyn wrote: Your flow in the second stanza was a bit convoluted.
What a retard he truly is, a Total lack of the gene for jizz And now I'm out of words to rhyme - A major offense and a capital crime.
Would have cut out the third - useless for the most part as you've already effectively closed. Qwyn could be one of those rap stars you see everyday on BET Thank you. I try to make my sarcasm read like a total try-hard.
LOL.
|
|
|
|