On June 07 2012 17:17 PrinceXizor wrote:
Brutaxilos. Re-read my last paragraph. Never giving up on love, doesn't mean never giving up on a love. There will be others, there always will be. Remember her, and know how she changed you and what you learned from loving her to make you a better person. Love her by improving yourself, so that next time you find her in life, years down the road, or next time you find a girl like you, you will be strong enough to keep her love in your life.
Remember that I let this girl go, I can only hope someday we meet again, when we are both ready, but I cannot rely on that. She has made me realize the importance of love and people in my life. That is how I choose to love her. Through my actions.
EDIT: I read your blog post. I've felt that way in the past. Twice actually. once when i was 15, and I jumped off a building. Broke my ankle, realized that things could always be worse, I could be alone, miserable, feel like I've lost everything, or I could be alone, miserable, feel like I've lost everything, and cannot get to the bathroom in time to piss because I can't walk. And again, May 30th this year, When I cut my neck with a knife, barely nicking the vein I intended to slice, in an instant I panicked and wanted to live, I was too proud to see a doctor, but luckily the damage wasn't going to be enough to kill me unless untreated, so i bandaged myself up and began to think about my life, and about the scar I am going to carry forever. I am happier now than I was in my three year relationship that ended recently. I am not as happy as when I was with the girl I spoke of here. But I am happy, I am lucky, and I learned something important about myself. I am not advocating attempting suicide. I am advocating reflection on your life, and how you need to adapt to continue being happy. I am now patient, the time will come where her, or another will enter my life, and I will fall in love again. I will be ready this time. Nothing more, nothing less. There is plenty of time ahead of both of us, who knows what it will bring, but we cannot let the past repeat itself. We are smart enough to adapt. So adapt. Suicide is selfish, and shortsighted. Why end things, when we can look forward to better things. That is what keeps me going now. I suggest trying something similar. We only have one shot at every moment, Reflect on each and learn what the right decision would have been.
That was a very deep response. Thank you for that. Truth is, I have been feeling relatively better since my time at the hospital. I have been trying to get over her (I actually asked someone else to prom this time). But I do t think I can ever completely let her go. Anyways, I'm glad that I heard your story. Hope the best for you!