|
This is beyond 'FB stalking' after 2 years of major online stalking whenever you have the time. :/ It's real stalking. Thank god you're harmless, but PLEASE realize how unhealthy your behavior is and change it. Having been on the receiving end of two stalkers (one irl, and one online), it is awful. It gives you a lingering unease and paranoia that can begin to affect your behaviors and make you avoid doing the things you like to do and going where you like to go (or online having to change all your usernames/profiles/block people/stop using your favorite forums, etc). It's basically like personal terrorism, and causes you to live in fear all the time. At the very least you feel your privacy has been invaded, at the most you fear for your safety. (I have a friend who had an online stalker show up at her house from across the country and not leave until she called the police. Somehow he found her address. That is scary.)
Anyway, you don't seem malicious. If you are going to talk to her, do so (and don't tell her how you've been stalking her for two years, or she will freak). Then proceed to have some kind of normal relationship based off real interactions.
GL; learn from and change this behavior.
|
Well dude, it’s actually really creepy you have e-stalked her for 2 years and never spoke to her. I can only give you one piece of advice and people may not agree but this is how I see life. The people that excel with girls or even generally in most situations are the ones that just don’t care or are insanely confident.
It’s weirder now typing it, but just think about it. I started doing this before I found my girlfriend although it wasn’t fully real and I mostly faked it but there’s a difference between confidence and just not caring. I’m not talking about the go around punching preggo women not caring, I mean for example you give yourself two options i.e “
“I’ll go into this job interview and if I don’t get it who cares, excuse to play starcraft”
“Ill talk to this chick and even if I get rejected who cares, I can tease my mates for being pussies”
Its so hard to explain through typing it but its how I faked my way through so many parties as actually coming across confident. Of course deep down your going to care and you’re not going to be disgusting in the not caring way of farting burping or generally not caring about your looks. Once I got the persona of this confident dude, it was so much easier because people expected you to be that persona which made you act out that persona.
But I found if you give yourself a better alternative to what you’re about to do it doesn’t seem so bad if the outcome isn’t what you want it to be. Reading it through it doesn’t seem like much help but it’s helped me. You’ve got to let go of giving a fuck and just do things. Embrace your flaws if you have any and learn to make light of any situation.
|
Meet my girlfriend irl lol... sometimes I just hate the internet. I can relate man.
sometimes I feel like I should just sleep or skate. Internet can make you paranoid, goodnight.
|
Apart from your creepy stalking habits, it reminds me of guy's bad mentality when it comes to meeting women (which i still suffer from at times). 'Oh she's pretty she must have a boyfriend' or 'oh she's beautiful she's way out of my league, she'll never be attracted to me''. How do you know? Why make such a bad assumption, just say hi make a little conversation and just ask if you really want to know. Then you can either move on or you might even get a date and a girlfriend.
But knowing you from your past blogs you're not going to do a thing. If you want to keep living your life coddled and safe from rejection or potential bliss keep doing what you're doing. Prepare your life for contentment, it takes courage to live a life of happiness.
|
Seek professional help maybe? You really do seem to have a stalking problem. While you seem essentially harmless to her of course, I think you're effectively harming yourself--a lot--by having this attachment to her. Try to move out of it, otherwise I can't give you direct psychological advice or anything.
Also as a wise man once said, "u gotta sk8". ;P
|
On May 24 2012 00:32 Azera wrote: I am unsure of what to feel, exactly, when I realise that I have been fawning over one girl for the past two years. Considering that I have yet to even hear her voice, it makes me discombobulated whenever I take the time to seriously ponder about my present circumstances.
Anybody who wishes to get fully acquainted with the tragic and pathetic story of mine can simply look into my collection of blogs that I have written and Ctrl+F "Girl Blog". The gist of it is, there's a girl that I've been in love with for 2 years, and I usually see her on the way to school. Some things happened, and a friend of mine managed to get her Facebook and Tumblr.
Naturally, I did some major online stalking whenever I had the time to. Over time, I have managed to mentally construct a list of sorts, of whatever her interests were and whatnot. Anne is a nice person, from what I could gather. She wrote about standard, bothersome, and possibly ignorant hipster ideals and reposted whatever hipster pictures. This made an impact on my young and impressionable mind.
But, I think I can finally push all these nonsense out of my head, refusing to allow it to influence my thoughts, as I once knowingly made an exception to these out of madness.
As I type, I can predict the backlash I will get from what I am going to say.
Today, I was travelling back home after a particularly unsavoury day at school. The bus stopped to allow some passengers to alight, I stood near the exit, not paying much attention to the doors that had flung open. I happened to look out of the exit and there Anne was, sitting on a bench. She was sitting with a boy that was similarly dressed. Full black. She had make up on. She was part of her school band that had a performance today. The guy was obviously a fellow band member. It was where she lived, and yet, she was sitting at the bus-stop in front of her house at 10pm, talking to this guy.
Why? Were they waiting for something? Possibly, but it was rather late and it's not very logical to say that they were waiting for a bus. She could have just entered her condominium, damn it, but common sense would say that she was clearly having a chat with someone of particular value to her. Not only was I suspicious of the time and the fact that it was just the two of them, they were also sitting shoulder to shoulder. It looked quite intimate. I would guess that they had just finished the concert and he was walking her home or something like that.
I don't think there are any other viable explanation for what I saw, so I guess that means the end of this, right? I should have tried, but I didn't. Should I still try? I don't think so.
I think the only rational thing to do now, is to just let it go and continue living my life. But, it's quite difficult to move on, when she was played such a major role in shaping my throughout these years, as stupid as that may sound.
I feel quite empty at the moment. And yet, I feel as if my thoughts have never been less deluded or more clear in a long time. I need some advice guys, please.
First thing you need to do is get to know her otherwise there will be no chance. Befriend her before you try to become romantically involved.
|
Yeah I guess it's important to be friends first. A friend told me that a relationship that burns too intensely will eventually die, while a relationship that burns slowly and steadily will long and be fruitful.
|
On June 19 2012 21:26 Azera wrote: Yeah I guess it's important to be friends first. A friend told me that a relationship that burns too intensely will eventually die, while a relationship that burns slowly and steadily will long and be fruitful.
I'm guessing this is the same girl from September. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told you back then:
On September 28 2011 02:34 Servius_Fulvius wrote:Show nested quote +On September 28 2011 01:37 Azera wrote: Ok, I understand what you're trying to say, but how do I start talking to her? Do I just walk up to her and say "Heh, strange how we always see each other." (This is true, for not only do I see her when I go to school, I see her at a street near my school daily and on the bus home as well.) That's one way. "Hi! I see you on the bus every day, but then noticed you on a street near my school. Do you have friends in the area?". It's important to ask a question that warrants participation. The question I posed isn't that great either because it's a yes or no question that she could answer with a yes or no. A simple transition is "Sorry if that sounds a little creepy. I'm Azera, I go to school the school nearby. What's your name?". Go from there. Great questions to ask are "Where are you from", "Where do you go to school", "How is school going", "How do you spend your free time"....stuff like that. Personally I think it's a lot easier to meet people through social groups since the ice is so much easier to break, but when it comes to talking to someone you've never really met this is the way to go.
It's never to late to make a friend. You're pretty much stalking her on the bus, so if you're not going to say anything at least take a different bus.
|
On June 19 2012 22:23 Servius_Fulvius wrote:Show nested quote +On June 19 2012 21:26 Azera wrote: Yeah I guess it's important to be friends first. A friend told me that a relationship that burns too intensely will eventually die, while a relationship that burns slowly and steadily will long and be fruitful. I'm guessing this is the same girl from September. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told you back then: Show nested quote +On September 28 2011 02:34 Servius_Fulvius wrote:On September 28 2011 01:37 Azera wrote: Ok, I understand what you're trying to say, but how do I start talking to her? Do I just walk up to her and say "Heh, strange how we always see each other." (This is true, for not only do I see her when I go to school, I see her at a street near my school daily and on the bus home as well.) That's one way. "Hi! I see you on the bus every day, but then noticed you on a street near my school. Do you have friends in the area?". It's important to ask a question that warrants participation. The question I posed isn't that great either because it's a yes or no question that she could answer with a yes or no. A simple transition is "Sorry if that sounds a little creepy. I'm Azera, I go to school the school nearby. What's your name?". Go from there. Great questions to ask are "Where are you from", "Where do you go to school", "How is school going", "How do you spend your free time"....stuff like that. Personally I think it's a lot easier to meet people through social groups since the ice is so much easier to break, but when it comes to talking to someone you've never really met this is the way to go. It's never to late to make a friend. You're pretty much stalking her on the bus, so if you're not going to say anything at least take a different bus.
Oh god, do people remember my pathetic girl problems.
Anyway yeah, got it :D
|
Azera,
Lots of us nerds here in this community are older than you and have been through similar things. Don't worry too much and try not to thing of this as such a big deal. You've never met this girl in person, so it makes no sense to thing about "ending this", because there was never anything in the first place, apart from some expectation from your side.
Find some distraction for now, and go out and meet some other new people. Without worries but to have a good time and get to know them, you'll soon find out something is working out for you.
|
|
|
|