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I am unsure of what to feel, exactly, when I realise that I have been fawning over one girl for the past two years. Considering that I have yet to even hear her voice, it makes me discombobulated whenever I take the time to seriously ponder about my present circumstances.
Anybody who wishes to get fully acquainted with the tragic and pathetic story of mine can simply look into my collection of blogs that I have written and Ctrl+F "Girl Blog". The gist of it is, there's a girl that I've been in love with for 2 years, and I usually see her on the way to school. Some things happened, and a friend of mine managed to get her Facebook and Tumblr.
Naturally, I did some major online stalking whenever I had the time to. Over time, I have managed to mentally construct a list of sorts, of whatever her interests were and whatnot. Anne is a nice person, from what I could gather. She wrote about standard, bothersome, and possibly ignorant hipster ideals and reposted whatever hipster pictures. This made an impact on my young and impressionable mind.
But, I think I can finally push all these nonsense out of my head, refusing to allow it to influence my thoughts, as I once knowingly made an exception to these out of madness.
As I type, I can predict the backlash I will get from what I am going to say.
Today, I was travelling back home after a particularly unsavoury day at school. The bus stopped to allow some passengers to alight, I stood near the exit, not paying much attention to the doors that had flung open. I happened to look out of the exit and there Anne was, sitting on a bench. She was sitting with a boy that was similarly dressed. Full black. She had make up on. She was part of her school band that had a performance today. The guy was obviously a fellow band member. It was where she lived, and yet, she was sitting at the bus-stop in front of her house at 10pm, talking to this guy.
Why? Were they waiting for something? Possibly, but it was rather late and it's not very logical to say that they were waiting for a bus. She could have just entered her condominium, damn it, but common sense would say that she was clearly having a chat with someone of particular value to her. Not only was I suspicious of the time and the fact that it was just the two of them, they were also sitting shoulder to shoulder. It looked quite intimate. I would guess that they had just finished the concert and he was walking her home or something like that.
I don't think there are any other viable explanation for what I saw, so I guess that means the end of this, right? I should have tried, but I didn't. Should I still try? I don't think so.
I think the only rational thing to do now, is to just let it go and continue living my life. But, it's quite difficult to move on, when she was played such a major role in shaping my throughout these years, as stupid as that may sound.
I feel quite empty at the moment. And yet, I feel as if my thoughts have never been less deluded or more clear in a long time. I need some advice guys, please.
 
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Wait, you've never even heard her voice despite catching glimpses of her for 2 years?????
If you've online-stalked her for 2 years, you should at least get a hint if she's attached.. But 2 years is a really long time and anything can happen.
If you want a viable explanation that she MIGHT be single: the guy lives nearby (maybe a connecting bus, 10pm isn't that late) and the two of them stumbled upon a topic that they found really interesting, and they're talking until the bus comes.
Or they might be waiting for a bus together to go to his place =DDDDDDDD
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Blazinghand
United States25560 Posts
;_; that's a sad story. Having your heart set on a lady like that is just setting up for sorrow unless you make a move.
Were I you I wouldn't give up though! Maybe you can win her back or something. Use this to motivate rather than ensadden.
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On May 24 2012 00:41 Heh_ wrote:
Wait, you've never even heard her voice despite catching glimpses of her for 2 years?????
If you've online-stalked her for 2 years, you should at least get a hint if she's attached.. But 2 years is a really long time and anything can happen.
If you want a viable explanation that she MIGHT be single: the guy lives nearby (maybe a connecting bus, 10pm isn't that late) and the two of them stumbled upon a topic that they found really interesting, and they're talking until the bus comes.
Or they might be waiting for a bus together to go to his place =DDDDDDDD
10pm is quite late, considering that they're in JC and that there's school tomorrow...
Also, they were sitting quite intimately. Yeah, she has been really vague on her blogs about love whenever she does talk about it. I've never got the vibe that she was attached though.
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On May 24 2012 00:43 Blazinghand wrote:
;_; that's a sad story. Having your heart set on a lady like that is just setting up for sorrow unless you make a move.
Were I you I wouldn't give up though! Maybe you can win her back or something. Use this to motivate rather than ensadden.
I honestly can not say if I'm motivated or sad. I need some time to mull over this. It's also a little hard since I'm 2 years younger. I don't think I can work up the courage to talk to her too. Even after all this time.
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On May 24 2012 00:43 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On May 24 2012 00:41 Heh_ wrote:
Wait, you've never even heard her voice despite catching glimpses of her for 2 years?????
If you've online-stalked her for 2 years, you should at least get a hint if she's attached.. But 2 years is a really long time and anything can happen.
If you want a viable explanation that she MIGHT be single: the guy lives nearby (maybe a connecting bus, 10pm isn't that late) and the two of them stumbled upon a topic that they found really interesting, and they're talking until the bus comes.
Or they might be waiting for a bus together to go to his place =DDDDDDDD 10pm is quite late, considering that they're in JC and that there's school tomorrow... Also, they were sitting quite intimately. Yeah, she has been really vague on her blogs about love whenever she does talk about it. I've never got the vibe that she was attached though.
10pm is not THAT late for a one-off occasion. I used to come back past 11pm on an almost daily basis.. Got yelled at everyday until I started yelling back ._.
If you really wanna inquire as to what is going on, post on her wall or pm (if you're shy) with something like this "Hey how was your performance? I saw you at the bus stop yesterday looking like you had a blast!" Or something like that.
But seriously, you're even creepier than I am. And I'm pretty creepy =S
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On May 24 2012 00:46 Heh_ wrote:Show nested quote +On May 24 2012 00:43 Azera wrote:On May 24 2012 00:41 Heh_ wrote:
Wait, you've never even heard her voice despite catching glimpses of her for 2 years?????
If you've online-stalked her for 2 years, you should at least get a hint if she's attached.. But 2 years is a really long time and anything can happen.
If you want a viable explanation that she MIGHT be single: the guy lives nearby (maybe a connecting bus, 10pm isn't that late) and the two of them stumbled upon a topic that they found really interesting, and they're talking until the bus comes.
Or they might be waiting for a bus together to go to his place =DDDDDDDD 10pm is quite late, considering that they're in JC and that there's school tomorrow... Also, they were sitting quite intimately. Yeah, she has been really vague on her blogs about love whenever she does talk about it. I've never got the vibe that she was attached though. 10pm is not THAT late for a one-off occasion. I used to come back past 11pm on an almost daily basis.. Got yelled at everyday until I started yelling back ._. If you really wanna inquire as to what is going on, post on her wall or pm (if you're shy) with something like this "Hey how was your performance? I saw you at the bus stop yesterday looking like you had a blast!" Or something like that. But seriously, you're even creepier than I am. And I'm pretty creepy =S
I doubt that's a good idea, considering that she doesn't know my name and me suddenly adding her on Facebook and talking to her/ or assuming an anonymous identity and posting on her blog with knowledge of her life.
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From what I can gather, the girl seems very different from you, unless she managed to indirectly turn you into a hipster, which you don't really come off as.
I did pretty much the same thing in high school, met a girl in ninth grade, but never had the courage to speak up, since I was (and still am, to a lesser extent) this white, antisocial, nerdy kid whose nose was in books all day and all he listened was metal and symphonic music (which are oddly similar, and awesome), very different from pretty much everyone else, who listened to pop and the like. I regret it deeply now. She most likely would have refused, maybe even hurt my feelings deeply, embarassed me in front of everyone, but I should have done it rather than live with the ache all my life, asking myself "what if..."
Man up and do it if you really care for her, unless she and that guy get together.
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On May 24 2012 00:50 Incze wrote:
From what I can gather, the girl seems very different from you, unless she managed to indirectly turn you into a hipster, which you don't really come off as.
I did pretty much the same thing in high school, met a girl in ninth grade, but never had the courage to speak up, since I was (and still am, to a lesser extent) this white, antisocial, nerdy kid whose nose was in books all day and all he listened was metal and symphonic music (which are oddly similar, and awesome), very different from pretty much everyone else, who listened to pop and the like. I regret it deeply now. She most likely would have refused, maybe even hurt my feelings deeply, embarassed me in front of everyone, but I should have done it rather than live with the ache all my life, asking myself "what if..."
Man up and do it if you really care for her, unless she and that guy get together.
I've considered this.
How will I deal with the "What if" conundrum when I recover from this numbness?
That's what I need advice on.
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On May 24 2012 00:48 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On May 24 2012 00:46 Heh_ wrote:On May 24 2012 00:43 Azera wrote:On May 24 2012 00:41 Heh_ wrote:
Wait, you've never even heard her voice despite catching glimpses of her for 2 years?????
If you've online-stalked her for 2 years, you should at least get a hint if she's attached.. But 2 years is a really long time and anything can happen.
If you want a viable explanation that she MIGHT be single: the guy lives nearby (maybe a connecting bus, 10pm isn't that late) and the two of them stumbled upon a topic that they found really interesting, and they're talking until the bus comes.
Or they might be waiting for a bus together to go to his place =DDDDDDDD 10pm is quite late, considering that they're in JC and that there's school tomorrow... Also, they were sitting quite intimately. Yeah, she has been really vague on her blogs about love whenever she does talk about it. I've never got the vibe that she was attached though. 10pm is not THAT late for a one-off occasion. I used to come back past 11pm on an almost daily basis.. Got yelled at everyday until I started yelling back ._. If you really wanna inquire as to what is going on, post on her wall or pm (if you're shy) with something like this "Hey how was your performance? I saw you at the bus stop yesterday looking like you had a blast!" Or something like that. But seriously, you're even creepier than I am. And I'm pretty creepy =S I doubt that's a good idea, considering that she doesn't know my name and me suddenly adding her on Facebook and talking to her/ or assuming an anonymous identity and posting on her blog with knowledge of her life.
OH. Read wrongly. I thought you already had her on FB but it's your friend... Omg even creepier. But I would suggest to just give up. Unless you get a chance to get introduced to her through a mutual friend or something, your crush on her will probably remain one-sided. There are many other girls out there. You might find one with better looks/personality than this one. Cheer up. Play more D3.
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On May 24 2012 00:53 Heh_ wrote:Show nested quote +On May 24 2012 00:48 Azera wrote:On May 24 2012 00:46 Heh_ wrote:On May 24 2012 00:43 Azera wrote:On May 24 2012 00:41 Heh_ wrote:
Wait, you've never even heard her voice despite catching glimpses of her for 2 years?????
If you've online-stalked her for 2 years, you should at least get a hint if she's attached.. But 2 years is a really long time and anything can happen.
If you want a viable explanation that she MIGHT be single: the guy lives nearby (maybe a connecting bus, 10pm isn't that late) and the two of them stumbled upon a topic that they found really interesting, and they're talking until the bus comes.
Or they might be waiting for a bus together to go to his place =DDDDDDDD 10pm is quite late, considering that they're in JC and that there's school tomorrow... Also, they were sitting quite intimately. Yeah, she has been really vague on her blogs about love whenever she does talk about it. I've never got the vibe that she was attached though. 10pm is not THAT late for a one-off occasion. I used to come back past 11pm on an almost daily basis.. Got yelled at everyday until I started yelling back ._. If you really wanna inquire as to what is going on, post on her wall or pm (if you're shy) with something like this "Hey how was your performance? I saw you at the bus stop yesterday looking like you had a blast!" Or something like that. But seriously, you're even creepier than I am. And I'm pretty creepy =S I doubt that's a good idea, considering that she doesn't know my name and me suddenly adding her on Facebook and talking to her/ or assuming an anonymous identity and posting on her blog with knowledge of her life. OH. Read wrongly. I thought you already had her on FB but it's your friend... Omg even creepier. But I would suggest to just give up. Unless you get a chance to get introduced to her through a mutual friend or something, your crush on her will probably remain one-sided. There are many other girls out there. You might find one with better looks/personality than this one. Cheer up. Play more D3.
Yeah, I might meet someone that's even better. Well, idk. Most probably.
I don't have D3. Don't have the cash, or the interest.
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Blazinghand
United States25560 Posts
On May 24 2012 00:55 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On May 24 2012 00:53 Heh_ wrote:On May 24 2012 00:48 Azera wrote:On May 24 2012 00:46 Heh_ wrote:On May 24 2012 00:43 Azera wrote:On May 24 2012 00:41 Heh_ wrote:
Wait, you've never even heard her voice despite catching glimpses of her for 2 years?????
If you've online-stalked her for 2 years, you should at least get a hint if she's attached.. But 2 years is a really long time and anything can happen.
If you want a viable explanation that she MIGHT be single: the guy lives nearby (maybe a connecting bus, 10pm isn't that late) and the two of them stumbled upon a topic that they found really interesting, and they're talking until the bus comes.
Or they might be waiting for a bus together to go to his place =DDDDDDDD 10pm is quite late, considering that they're in JC and that there's school tomorrow... Also, they were sitting quite intimately. Yeah, she has been really vague on her blogs about love whenever she does talk about it. I've never got the vibe that she was attached though. 10pm is not THAT late for a one-off occasion. I used to come back past 11pm on an almost daily basis.. Got yelled at everyday until I started yelling back ._. If you really wanna inquire as to what is going on, post on her wall or pm (if you're shy) with something like this "Hey how was your performance? I saw you at the bus stop yesterday looking like you had a blast!" Or something like that. But seriously, you're even creepier than I am. And I'm pretty creepy =S I doubt that's a good idea, considering that she doesn't know my name and me suddenly adding her on Facebook and talking to her/ or assuming an anonymous identity and posting on her blog with knowledge of her life. OH. Read wrongly. I thought you already had her on FB but it's your friend... Omg even creepier. But I would suggest to just give up. Unless you get a chance to get introduced to her through a mutual friend or something, your crush on her will probably remain one-sided. There are many other girls out there. You might find one with better looks/personality than this one. Cheer up. Play more D3. Yeah, I might meet someone that's even better. Well, idk. Most probably. I don't have D3. Don't have the cash, or the interest.
You have 2 options in my opinion
1) try to find something to distract you, like writing a short story or something. a creative outlet is good because the time you sink into it isn't capped. The sadness goes away, it just takes time.
2) try to give things a try somehow.
If you don't think #2 is an option, it might be best to try to focus on #1 and not think about things too much (easier said than done i know)
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On May 24 2012 00:55 Azera wrote:Show nested quote +On May 24 2012 00:53 Heh_ wrote:On May 24 2012 00:48 Azera wrote:On May 24 2012 00:46 Heh_ wrote:On May 24 2012 00:43 Azera wrote:On May 24 2012 00:41 Heh_ wrote:
Wait, you've never even heard her voice despite catching glimpses of her for 2 years?????
If you've online-stalked her for 2 years, you should at least get a hint if she's attached.. But 2 years is a really long time and anything can happen.
If you want a viable explanation that she MIGHT be single: the guy lives nearby (maybe a connecting bus, 10pm isn't that late) and the two of them stumbled upon a topic that they found really interesting, and they're talking until the bus comes.
Or they might be waiting for a bus together to go to his place =DDDDDDDD 10pm is quite late, considering that they're in JC and that there's school tomorrow... Also, they were sitting quite intimately. Yeah, she has been really vague on her blogs about love whenever she does talk about it. I've never got the vibe that she was attached though. 10pm is not THAT late for a one-off occasion. I used to come back past 11pm on an almost daily basis.. Got yelled at everyday until I started yelling back ._. If you really wanna inquire as to what is going on, post on her wall or pm (if you're shy) with something like this "Hey how was your performance? I saw you at the bus stop yesterday looking like you had a blast!" Or something like that. But seriously, you're even creepier than I am. And I'm pretty creepy =S I doubt that's a good idea, considering that she doesn't know my name and me suddenly adding her on Facebook and talking to her/ or assuming an anonymous identity and posting on her blog with knowledge of her life. OH. Read wrongly. I thought you already had her on FB but it's your friend... Omg even creepier. But I would suggest to just give up. Unless you get a chance to get introduced to her through a mutual friend or something, your crush on her will probably remain one-sided. There are many other girls out there. You might find one with better looks/personality than this one. Cheer up. Play more D3. Yeah, I might meet someone that's even better. Well, idk. Most probably. I don't have D3. Don't have the cash, or the interest.
Oh well. Go play something else to take your mind off the girl. Like Neopets. Then again, you might be too young during the Neopets craze...
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
you are literally a stalker. but it's okay, you can only improve from here. use your biological communication apparatus and make vocalizations at your next reproductive interest. social etiquette will require a response, and you can go home and treasure it for a whole week, replaying it over and over. and then you'll want more, and talk to her and maybe make her laugh or whatever and smile creepily when she acknowledges you online. you see how everything cascades though, right? any attempt is better than 0 attempt, like what you have been doing.
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Blazinghand,
I will definitely be doing things to occupy myself. I'm trying to learn Protoss in SC2, was previously Terran/Zerg. Regarding giving things a try, I think I'll just go with the flow.
Heh_,
Yeah I used to play Neopets. Thanks for your input anyway :D
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Do yourself a HUGE favour and actually talk to her in the least creepy way you can possible handle yourself. Whatever happens after, that's far far better than what you're going through right now. You can start on Facebook or other online means if you feel comfortable that way. The point is to let her know that you exist, and get to know her better. The more you brood upon the thoughts and let her grow in your mind, her image will manifest itself into unrealistic extremes that will only screw your mind even more. Just get to know her - she's a human being, not some unreachable holy goddess that can only be accessed through 500 hours of nonstop prayer.
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Blazinghand
United States25560 Posts
If you REALLY want to dump some time and effort into something on the internet you should come by TL Mafia
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On May 24 2012 00:59 intrigue wrote:
you are literally a stalker. but it's okay, you can only improve from here. use your biological communication apparatus and make vocalizations at your next reproductive interest. social etiquette will require a response, and you can go home and treasure it for a whole week, replaying it over and over. and then you'll want more, and talk to her and maybe make her laugh or whatever and smile creepily when she acknowledges you online. you see how everything cascades though, right? any attempt is better than 0 attempt, like what you have been doing.
Mhm, "putting myself on the market" eh?
Definitely, I'll try my best to be more vocal next time.
Also! New album please
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On May 24 2012 01:01 OpticalShot wrote:
Do yourself a HUGE favour and actually talk to her in the least creepy way you can possible handle yourself. Whatever happens after, that's far far better than what you're going through right now. You can start on Facebook or other online means if you feel comfortable that way. The point is to let her know that you exist, and get to know her better. The more you brood upon the thoughts and let her grow in your mind, her image will manifest itself into unrealistic extremes that will only screw your mind even more. Just get to know her - she's a human being, not some unreachable holy goddess that can only be accessed through 500 hours of nonstop prayer.
What you've just described is quite an accurate description of what has happened. I'll try to do something. Maybe this will make me less nervous to approach her, since I supposedly have "given up" on her.
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Recovering from anything takes time, and the matters of love are no exception. Almost 10 years later and I am still not over it, I blew it, my only chance with that girl went down the drain when some stupid prick thought he would make me a favor and tell everyone, including her what I was all about. If it weren't for that maybe I would've manned up myself and asked her out, but it was all out the window after it.
What I'm saying is, don't wait too much, because people find out. Maybe you stare too much at her, maybe your cheeks get blood red whenever you're close to her (believe me, I know that feeling all too well and it's the root of most of my high school problems). Even a single look may be enough to give it away and after that, unless she also previously liked you, but since you never talked to her, that's very improbable, she will avoid you like the plague.
It's hard man, it always is in the beginning. Get experience, fast, lest you end up 20 years old with no girl experience whatsoever
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EPT
