For the record at the begining of every game I told my opponents my race honestly, not because I think all Random players should, but just because I'm playing Random to experience all 3 races without having to actually pick a race each game.
So game 1 on my Random account I don't care what matchup I get so long as it's not TvT. The only thing I know about TvT is "Marine" and that epic MLG game with the vikings and Ravens on Metalopolis. The loading screen kicks in, the usual adrenaline rush of terror so common on my main account was obvious only in it's absence...but then I see my opponent is Terran. There's a 1/3 chance this just became a TvT...
At this point it's worth mentioning I changed "Probe" on my Hotkeys to S, so at this point I'm spamming left click SD to cover all 3 races still hoping I get Zerg, but the astute reader will recall I didn't get any Zerg this session, that would be too easy.
Terran.
TvT...Damn.
So my mind goes through everything I know about TvT and I remember that at one point Blue Flame Hellion drops were pretty good and Day9 said something about 2 Barracks, 1 Factory and 1 Starport at some point so I figure I'll combine the two and I open no scout, 2 rax in to Blue Flame Hellion drops. Suddenly though flashbacks to my old Bronze days, what if I'm playing a Bronze League Terran?? Surely there'll be Banshees or infinite Marines soon? Well at this point I'm making Blue Flame Hellions and Marines anyway so I put down an Engineering Bay and 2 Turrets just in time for the Banshees to turn up and feeling relieved I start my expansion and when the Banshees leave I go and drop his base.
As a Zerg player if there's one thing I know, it's that Blue Flame Hellion drops are easy to do, always are cost effective and usually just win the game while the Terran controller is alt tabbed reading 9gag so really how hard can it be? I realise though that I'm not accustomed to having a browser ready to alt tab in to, but I figure that part doesn't really matter. The Hellions drop behind his base fine and immediately score a kill, the SCV's pull off in a line and I can already taste the GG. As I chase the SCV's I'm just waiting for the shot to roast them all. It'll come soon and they're all helpless. How long is the reload time anyway? Then the flame starts licking forwards again and the end is near, when I realise all 4 of my Hellions have been killed by a Siege Tank and a few Marines and I haven't yet won the game, though my opponent is at least down 1 SCV I guess. I guess these Terrans know what they're doing and I'll be sure to keep a browser open in future. Well that and damn, it really is easier to watch it than to do it.
So what follows is 2 Banshees at my just established natural after the Mules land and before I've remembered I still need Turrets and forgetting I have enough Medivacs to just lift everything up I proceed to lose all my Marines and Siege Tanks and SCV's and MULEs to 2 Banshees. Yes, that happened. With my terrible spending, scouting, and the fact that my opponents natural was fully saturated already and he could literally A move me whenever he felt I GG'd out.
Game 2 was a somewhat quicker affair which can be summed up with a single sentence and some parenthesis. When his 7RR hit (which I hadn't scouted...like at all, at any point in the game) I had 2 Gateways although Warp had finished, 1 Forge, 1 Sentry, 2 Zealots, 900 minerals and most crucially, no map awareness. Needless to say, I GG out as he breaks my front. Really need to look up an FFE for this match up.
So on to Game 3 and it's a PvP. I made myself a promise that whilst I will eventually learn 4 gate, I'll never use it in the first PvP against an opponent the first time I play them that day. So 3 Gate Robo it is, and this is the first game where I pull off an at least semi proficient build, getting all the buildings I want whilst mostly being able to produce continually and keeping my gas and minerals at reasonable levels. Certainly not the best 3 Gate Robo ever done, but passable and that was enough to raise my spirits and an Observer shows me he's going for a 4 Gate Blink Stalker build, which I'm feeling fairly confident against. I decide therefore to expand hearing MrBitter in my head reminding me the first Toss to expand loses.
Playing it "safe" I decide to get 1 more Immortal and another Observer (darn cannon sight and Stalkers took my first one) and go for the Expo. Fortunately I find my opponent is expanding too, and behind mine, and having scrificed a Probe and seen my Immortals switched in to Immortals of his own. Realising I have the advantage in Immortals and his Stalker heavy opener won't be amazing against my larger Gateway/Immortal army I throw down two Forges and begin Chronoing +1 armour and weapons and move out across the map, planting a proxy Pylon outside my opponents natural. I move in as the Pylon is built and get FF'd in and my natural Zerg instinct to fall back meant I only lost 3 units. Waiting for the Warp in's my opponent moved out and FF'd me but my concave was better and all my Immortals were firing and his decision to fight cost him his army and eventually the game. "fun..." was my opponents response before quitting out.
Game 4 was actually a fun game, where I played reasonably well. TvP. My first TvP ever and I have to say, I felt quite comfortable all game long. Starting with my SCV walking in to my opponents base, killing a Probe and then leaving having scouted the gas timing and confirmed no cheese I did the 2 Rax, 1 Factory, 1 Starport thing again...wait? Does that work in TvP? I know they do 1/1/1 timings but even if I knew how to do that I already have 2 Barracks so it'll have to do.
Moving on something strange happened. I built a Viking. It wasn't a misclick or anything, I legitimately built a Viking having seen no sign of Robo tech for reasons unknown to all. I decided to use it to scout, see a 4 Gate, an expansion (later than mine) and land for a few Probe kills before lifting it off again to avoid it dying and for the rest of the game is sits in the close by air position of my opponents base on Metalopolis, resting and remembering it's glory days. I assume this is how "The Lost Viking" ended up in an arcade machine on the Hyperion.
So my opponents push comes as I'm establishing my third, later than his and with 5k/2k in the bank, and threatens to over run me but it turns out if you have EMP, Siege Tanks and Marauders while your opponent is using a pure Gateway army even the terrible fumblings of a Zerg player who has never micro'd a unit in her life are sufficient to hold. It literally took me until half my army was dead before I managed to press "T" for the stim, but I held.
At this point I decide to respond with drops, and kill all but 1 Probe in the main, grab the Cybercore at the cost of one dropship and 4 Marauders so I was quite happy with that. I try it again and for about 20 Probes I suffer the same loss at the third.
At this point I realise my production facilities suck so I through down an Armoury to keep my upgrades going, 5 more Barracks (for a total of 9) and 3 more Factorys, and put a PF on the Gold. My opponent responds by trying to push up the ramp to the third against my Siege Tanks, Thors, MMM (again with the late Stim), and Ghosts spamming EMP like it was going out of fashion and I end up losing about 15 supply for the full Protoss army, and I'm remaxed 200/200 before the fight ends. EMP is pretty good. The game ends without a GG and I move on to the final game.
Game 5 was another one of those short things, which historically has proven to be bad for me and this was no exception. Against Zerg I didn't do anything to slow them down, though I did take my Tal'Darim natural with a 3 Barracks wall off with 2 Bunkers behind it whilst I again attempt my luck at a Blue Flame Hellion drop before going with an MMM and Tank build.
Stim half way done, my 3rd Hellion on the way, Blue Flame finished, and 2 full Bunkers at the front. All was coming along nicely until suddenly somewhere in region of 8999 Banelings smash everything I have and hold dear and I remember why I love playing Terrans who ignore me on my main. Using my one Medivac I try to drop micro my Hellions and actually don't do a terrible job, managing to kill all the Lings in my base and rebuilding the 3 Barracks wall, although the Ling follow up tears down any hope I have of redemption and my pitiful attempts at placement end with another gg forced from me.
You might notice I've not yet mentioned the leagues of my opponents, and that's because at this point I didn't know them either! Literally not one of my opponents was placed in a league, until this point where the Zerg player was Gold.
So looking over it, 2 wins and 3 losses. Not terrible I guess considering I know nothing about the races I was playing with. Then I see I've been placed in Gold. The same league as I'm currently in with Zerg. Dumbfounded would be insufficient to explain my shock at the result, and worse still because I haven't played much this season (was visitting an ill relative most of this month) I end up as a higher rank too! What insanity is this?? Literally if we go by rank alone the race I've been playing for the last year is not currently at the same level as 2 off races I played today for the first time.
I'll take it! I don't deserve it, and I'll no doubt end up in Silver eventually but right now I'm feeling pretty happy with both my rank and the sheer fun of playing SC2 for the fun of playing it as I did today without any worry for doing it right, or my rank or winning or losing. SC2 as it was meant to played and I end up ahead of where I've struggled to get to. Something poetic in there I think.
Anyways at this point I'm tired and this is getting more than a little rambly so if you've made it this far, kudos to you and good night!