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Let me start off by stating the following: I LOVE THIS GAME. I've made it such an integral part of my life, to the extent of, as some of you already know, being one of the only spanish-language annalytical casters around that actually streams his analysis. But there's this thing that's bugging me so much...
I had the most horrible day on the ladder I've ever had. Started with my usual 4v4 team doing silly things. Mostly I don't give a shit if something goes wrong, since 4v4 is just for fun, but my teammates decided they wanted to dick around and not telling me, it seems, so that kinda got on my nerves. After a break I begun playing some 1v1s... Went from a close masters promotion to a 15 game losing streak, and ended up losing to mid-gold players doing silly things at me like 10 pools or 2 gate-all ins catching me totally off-guard. I'm a pretty cool-headed guy, but the last match I lost (to a cannon rush, for which I've practiced so much to defend against) just made me snap. I fucking stood up and punched the wall pretty hard... So hard I sprained my right thumb pretty badly and ended up hurting like hell. After that I went jogging for an hour but as I did I couldn't stop thinking about the shitty day I just had on the ladder, my falcon punch to the wall and the stupid way I ended up hurting myself... ... OVER A GAME. Because yes, StarCraft 2 might be an integral part of my life, where I've met good friends, where I spend my time trying to help others to improve their gameplay, where I have fun... But when you enrage so much over a game and end up hurting yourself, I dunno man... You begin thinking that you are terrible at this game, that you shouldn't be doing this, that you can't possibly be trying to help others if you are so terrible at this game...
It never happened to me on any other game. I played Q2 and CoD competitively for a long time before I moved on to RTSs and StarCraft. Hell, I didn't even rage when playing WoW while doing a raid wiping over and over again at the same boss... And now this. What has changed?
I don't want to dissapoint the people who watch my stream either by going off-air for a while, and I don't wanna lose my (still little) fanbase (because when you go away from your stream for a while, that is exactly what happens...) But like I said, being past the point where you stupidly hurt yourself, you got to help yourself.
I'm so exhausted, so tired and sad. But overall I'm so damn frustrated. I love this game, you shouldn't be raging at things that you love! I can't even look at a replay because it makes those fucking feelings surface again. I need your opinion on this one, TL... Should I take a break? A long break? How have you guys dealt with this, if you've experienced the same?
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Dont take a break, just dont treat the game for something more than it is. There is never a reason to lose your cool over something meant for entertainment value.
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Next time grab a pillow first.
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Sounds like you just had an off day... And didn't handle it too well.
I used to get a little upset when I would lose more than one game in a row, but I think I've managed to just turn loses around and convince myself that they're actually helping me get better (which they are in some ways of course).
If I were you, I'd take maybe a day or most of a day off from 1v1 ladder and just play some random team games where your only intention is to mess around, while still playing as well as you can.
You need to relax when you play, or your anger will hurt your game, which will in turn make you more angry etc..
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There are phrases like 'you are a big baby' and 'stop taking yourself too seriously' which apply to gamers like you. The problem is that you don't have someone next to you to actually say it, so you develop this weird habit of acting in ways which are embarrassing and pathetic.
Take up knitting if you can't handle losing sometimes.
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During season one I lost to something dumb i cant even remember but i punched the wall and fucked my hand up so bad. I had to lie to my mom that I got in a fight lol(didnt have it in me to tell her the truth). Just got to walk away from your computer and do something else, you will feel better the second you forget about the match. ; )
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On December 13 2011 13:32 Chef wrote: There are phrases like 'you are a big baby' and 'stop taking yourself too seriously' which apply to gamers like you. The problem is that you don't have someone next to you to actually say it, so you develop this weird habit of acting in ways which are embarrassing and pathetic.
Take up knitting if you can't handle losing sometimes. What a solid advice
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On December 13 2011 13:11 UmbraaeternuS wrote:
Started with my usual 4v4 team doing silly things. Mostly I don't give a shit if something goes wrong, since 4v4 is just for fun,
There, I spotted for you the error in your ways young man. 1v1 is nothing sort of serious or high skilled only. You can just have fun on 1v1 as well. Open with some weird ass builds and you will feel much more comfortable after.
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Watch a few episodes of Tosh.0.
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watch the replay and laugh about how poor your micro was. it helps cheer me up sometimes if i screw up really badly because if you view it from the point of someone else, it seems really comical ^^
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On December 13 2011 14:52 iSometric wrote: Watch a few episodes of Tosh.0.
Although I don't physically get upset, if I ever start to dislike playing I'll go watch tv works pretty well if there's something on.
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If your punching the wall when you lose then you have some anger problems. Yes, stop playing.
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On December 13 2011 13:32 Chef wrote: There are phrases like 'you are a big baby' and 'stop taking yourself too seriously' which apply to gamers like you. The problem is that you don't have someone next to you to actually say it, so you develop this weird habit of acting in ways which are embarrassing and pathetic.
Take up knitting if you can't handle losing sometimes. the opposite of love is indifference my friend! @OP just embrace that passion! no point in playing the game if you don't get upset when losing imo.
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Same thing happened to me, i went on a 20 game losing streak and i've just completely rethought out my play, I'm high plat, well i was, and then i was playing silver people and now back to gold and plat again. The thing is that i went on that streak because i kept losing and i should have gone into an obs or gone into some customs and stopped laddering for a bit. I hit the desk sevearl times though i didn't hurt myself and OMG I was pissed. But i've won some and now i realize, its not about winning, its about gettng better and so long as i am getting better, that is all that matters.
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I think you were still angry and frustrated when you wrote you blog entry. I would reflect on what you wrote and relax a bit. When you hit a losing streak or get angry in any way, listen to music or do something relaxing.
You should not quit playing though. You love the game, and the passion shows in your anger. You just have to learn to keep you feelings in check, or the other way around to vent your anger in another way than hitting a wall and hurting yourself.
One more thing I though about is, that you now play solo and not in a time (like CoD). Maybe you just need to talk about your frustration to a friend and you might feel better afterwards. S/he can give you advice and input.
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On December 13 2011 15:17 nttea wrote:Show nested quote +On December 13 2011 13:32 Chef wrote: There are phrases like 'you are a big baby' and 'stop taking yourself too seriously' which apply to gamers like you. The problem is that you don't have someone next to you to actually say it, so you develop this weird habit of acting in ways which are embarrassing and pathetic.
Take up knitting if you can't handle losing sometimes. the opposite of love is indifference my friend! @OP just embrace that passion! no point in playing the game if you don't get upset when losing imo. I think there is a large difference between feeling the pain of defeat and destroying property or your body. One means you cared about the result of the game, the other means you have no self control (like a baby). When you play billiards with someone you don't snap the pool cue in half after missing a shot or losing because it is embarrassing and pathetic and makes you look like a huge idiot. Punching a wall after losing SC is the same, except there is no one watching you to call you a huge baby. Try not to grow up to kick dogs or beat your wife after bad days at work.
From a perspective based somewhat in psychology, punching the wall or beating your wife is never going to make you feel better because you're not tackling the actual problem. Getting better at the task your failed at will make you feel better. So I guess next time you make a dumb micro mistake, play a micro map which focuses on the skill you are clearly a huge noob with. Or if it was a tactical/strategic error, think it through thoroughly so that you understand what you were supposed to do. Destroying your property is just irresponsible and stupid, unless it was the actual property that made you feel that way.
Our culture has come up with stupid ways of diverting anger which are actually unhealthy. Whether you hit a wall or you hit a pillow, you are not properly dealing with your emotions. You won't really feel better. This is what many studies have shown (just look up catharsis in the index of any Psychology 101 textbook).
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It's normal (in my opinion, I have no medical studies background or anything) to be emotional about losing. It's natural. It's frustrating.
However, if you must resort to harmful means to resolve that frustration and anger, then it's time for a little breather. Find what cools you down. Browse silly internet jokes. Watch a comedy. Cook yourself a sizzling juicy Italian sausage. This is not a joke, once I was angry about a loss, and it was near dinner time anyway, so I bought a pack of jumbo Italian sausage from the grocery store and treated myself out. Honey mustard extra. Well, I needed to get something for dinner anyway, but the point is that the loss made me angry enough to overcome the laziness barrier and go outside to get that awesome sausage.
Well, usually, I forget about the previous game as soon as I alt+tab out and check facebook or something... find what works for you!
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