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Yo, well, does everyone here have a group of friends where at least one of the guys... is considered to be the "weak" / "flamboyant" etc kinda guy?
Well not that there is anything wrong with that but I have different groups of friends and in my closest group, I'm considered to be that "gay" guy. Well here's the thing, I'm not gay and I actually have nothing against being gay or anyone choosing that path as a lifestyle... it's like w/e? I'm from Toronto so I'm really open minded about these kinda issues.
The thing is, in the past, I have acted flamboyant, I mean like the way I act, the way I joke around, etc... so I can see why my friends think this way. At first it was a joke with them accusing me of being gay and stuff but honestly, it's getting more and more serious. Like yea, we all still laugh at the subject but they keep pressuring me, trying to dissect the "truth" out of me.
At first, I would argue about it and they would accuse me of trying to "defend" myself too much and that maybe I was scared... and then when I calm about it and just didn't answer and tried to talk reasonably they said it was out of my character and that I was taking the issue so smoothly as if I was really gay. It's like... no matter what I do, they have that presumption. It's kinda like an Atheist and a hardcore Christian talking about the existence of God. (No body can win or convince the other of their point of view)
The thing is, they are true friends though because whenever I was in need, they were there for me and vice-versa. I care about them and I know they care about me. We've known each other for years but it seems like this will never go away. They're so into it that if I got a girlfriend, they would assume it was a cover-up... wtf?
But here's the thing, I don't see myself with any girl for a while just because I'm focused on my studies and have other goals that I want to reach before anything else. I'm also an actor/artist. My training involves all of that "gay" stuff that is stereotypical in the media and such. I enjoy who I am actually.. and I am not gay.
So for you... for anyone who has this kinda friend, do you guys really think they are gay? Are you just teasing? Do you really want to investigate all of this... Why do you want to believe so much that, that "gay" friend is actually gay?
&
For any of the guys who are considered TO BE THAT "gay" friend, do you just take this with a grain of salt or what? Do you feel you have something more to prove as a man? It's just... I don't know, it's just an internal thing for me to think;
"Wtf? I'm not gay... but I don't even know what to say anymore, it's like a lose-lose situation. You're my friends but obviously I can't convince you that I'm not one thing or another"
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But here's the thing, I don't see myself with any girl for a while just because I'm focused on my studies and have other goals that I want to reach before anything else. I'm also an actor/artist. My training involves all of that "gay" stuff that is stereotypical in the media and such. I enjoy who I am actually.. and I am not gay.
quit fighting yourself. just open up, its 2008. your friends will get over it, im sure. and then you can be the happy person you were meant to.
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You sound gay, in a very frightening way. Your like the alpha-gay.
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Aotearoa39261 Posts
I have an openly gay friend :3
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TL doesn't discriminate man. You can open up to us here don't hide your true self.
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Eh, I'm in kind of the same situation, but now it's like "Oh your a pussy yeah your a girl, either that or your gay"
You just laugh it off and ignore it. They'll stop eventually
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CA10835 Posts
probably 1 or 2 of your friends are hoping you'll come out of the closet so they can start hitting on you (probably closet gays themselves lol)
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I know what you mean and yes, we all think our friend matt is secretly gay... no joke..
When you grab a guys ass and laugh about it on a weekly basis, something is wrong stop fooling yourself, maybe you are gay and just havent accepted/ackowledge it...
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On December 23 2008 16:46 esla_sol wrote:Show nested quote + But here's the thing, I don't see myself with any girl for a while just because I'm focused on my studies and have other goals that I want to reach before anything else. I'm also an actor/artist. My training involves all of that "gay" stuff that is stereotypical in the media and such. I enjoy who I am actually.. and I am not gay. quit fighting yourself. just open up, its 2008. your friends will get over it, im sure. and then you can be the happy person you were meant to.
Lol..
It's just, you can't NOT enjoy the training because as an actor, from what I've learned, you have to be open and stuff. If I didn't learn how to enjoy my training, then perhaps acting shouldn't be my career choice. So it's something I've learned to adapt to and to enjoy.
It is kinda weird... like, it's understandable I think how people could accuse me. But I'm trying to lol... oh man, w/e. I can't help it if I didn't choose to become a MMA fighter and find a slut girl friend.
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Oh and if you really like are getting this upset about them thinking you're gay, it's getting to your head. Focus on your studies they can go fuck themselves, for now.
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Best way to deal with it is to divert their attention with something like: "Why are you constantly asking me if I am gay? Are you getting your hopes up? lol. Sorry, I don't roll that way pal."
Better to take the offensive in the situation, if you keep playing defensive you will be fine at first but then you wont get to expand and they will just run you over.
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
On December 23 2008 16:46 Velr wrote:
You sound gay, in a very frightening way. Your like the alpha-gay.
Is this supposed to be helpful in anyway?
Why should you care what they think anyway? Just chill and not get defensive because I think their getting a kick out of stirring you up, just say no and be cool.
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The more reaction you show, the more they will want to tease you... It's that simple.
If you don't want that, why don't you just tell them? That you feel really uncomfortable, and it's become a nuisance lately and that they will eventualy find out the truth 
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And it doesn't matter you can't convince them, as long as you know you yourself aren't gay, everything is fine.
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you said you werent gay like 5-6 times. what are you trying to hide? [Sorry I couldnt resist]
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this is how people view me sometimes 
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On December 23 2008 16:52 GearitUP wrote:
I know what you mean and yes, we all think our friend matt is secretly gay... no joke..
When you grab a guys ass and laugh about it on a weekly basis, something is wrong stop fooling yourself, maybe you are gay and just havent accepted/ackowledge it...
Dude, for me... after being accused, like
I did honestly try to think about it. But I just don't see myself in that position.
All the crushes in my past have all been girls. I even wrote a thread a while back called "my mini book". It was a journal of my story with this girl...
There still is a girl that I really like but unfortunately it's not happening the other way around and for now, I've just kinda.. given up. I told her though that I wanted to become an actor. She said it wasn't going to be easy and for me... it's a personal thing to get actual training. To attempt to reach for something high and really make something of myself. To try to say, that I am making my dream a reality to her and to everyone around me. I can't control it if training to become an actor involves a lot of movement, dancing, stretching, sounds, etc. It is formal training.
But anyway, yea, I did do myself and my friends a favour by trying to question myself but I just can't accept being gay because it isn't true to me. That's not who I am.
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lots of actors like kevin spacey and john travolta are gay.
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eh, don't worry about it. A lot of my friends seem to think for whatever reason I'm gay too, in fact a couple of them have even taken me aside and tried to have a serious discussion that if I ever wanted to come out of the closet they'd understand and wouldn't judge etc.
...you kind of get used to it and learn to treat it as a non-issue.
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Baltimore, USA22261 Posts
The fact that your instinct was to come on TL.net and defend yourself means you might want to question a few things about who you really are... 
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EPT
