On December 23 2008 16:43 jjun212 wrote:
Yo, well, does everyone here have a group of friends where at least one of the guys... is considered to be the "weak" / "flamboyant" etc kinda guy?

Well not that there is anything wrong with that but I have different groups of friends and in my closest group, I'm considered to be that "gay" guy. Well here's the thing, I'm not gay and I actually have nothing against being gay or anyone choosing that path as a lifestyle... it's like w/e? I'm from Toronto so I'm really open minded about these kinda issues.

The thing is, in the past, I have acted flamboyant, I mean like the way I act, the way I joke around, etc... so I can see why my friends think this way. At first it was a joke with them accusing me of being gay and stuff but honestly, it's getting more and more serious. Like yea, we all still laugh at the subject but they keep pressuring me, trying to dissect the "truth" out of me.

At first, I would argue about it and they would accuse me of trying to "defend" myself too much and that maybe I was scared... and then when I calm about it and just didn't answer and tried to talk reasonably they said it was out of my character and that I was taking the issue so smoothly as if I was really gay. It's like... no matter what I do, they have that presumption. It's kinda like an Atheist and a hardcore Christian talking about the existence of God. (No body can win or convince the other of their point of view)

The thing is, they are true friends though because whenever I was in need, they were there for me and vice-versa. I care about them and I know they care about me. We've known each other for years but it seems like this will never go away. They're so into it that if I got a girlfriend, they would assume it was a cover-up... wtf?

But here's the thing, I don't see myself with any girl for a while just because I'm focused on my studies and have other goals that I want to reach before anything else. I'm also an actor/artist. My training involves all of that "gay" stuff that is stereotypical in the media and such. I enjoy who I am actually.. and I am not gay.

So for you... for anyone who has this kinda friend, do you guys really think they are gay? Are you just teasing? Do you really want to investigate all of this... Why do you want to believe so much that, that "gay" friend is actually gay?

&

For any of the guys who are considered TO BE THAT "gay" friend, do you just take this with a grain of salt or what? Do you feel you have something more to prove as a man? It's just... I don't know, it's just an internal thing for me to think;

"Wtf? I'm not gay... but I don't even know what to say anymore, it's like a lose-lose situation. You're my friends but obviously I can't convince you that I'm not one thing or another"

ok, i think this will probably take off in one of two ways

i am one of these people that others regard as "gay" - im actually straight, but i like to mess around (spanking, tittie twisters, etc), i dressed up as a chick for halloween, etc... more than a few people asked if i was gay. I really don't give a shit what people think I am, so if they ask me if im gay i just say "sure" and let them think whatever they want... if they want to judge you for it, then fuck them, you shouldn't be friends with whoever it is anyways. or even better, if someone asks if youre gay, say "nah im bi/tri"... if they judge you screw them.

but it doesn't sound so much like people just asking you if you're gay, your buds are giving you a hard time about it. we had a case like this on our cross country team this year - one kid was the scapegoat, and we dubbed him the "chick with the dick", and we always picked on him sort of like the way your friends are picking on you (not sure if this is how it is with you, but they were laughing at him instead of with him). Basically, our team straightened out basically at the very end of season after the kid just got fed up with it and exploded on us. it made us all realize what a bunch of dicks we had been and how uncalled for all this shit we gave him was, leading to a big team bonding talk. so basically im saying.. if theyre just minorly poking fun at you, just let it go, friends tease each other. but if you feel theyre being really unneccessarily persistent about it, then show them you mean it instead of being passive.

hope this helps

FrEaK[S.sIR]

2373 Posts

December 23 2008 11:26 GMT

#44

Only thing this thread shows is how incredibly insecure you are.

Should work on that.

thedeadhaji

39489 Posts

December 23 2008 11:27 GMT

#45

i have a gay friend but no "gay" friends sry.

Naib

Hungary4866 Posts

December 23 2008 11:34 GMT

#46

You're either gay, very insecure, or both.

Warrior Madness

Canada3791 Posts

December 23 2008 11:36 GMT

#47

OP I mean no offense but your post reminded me of this other post from another forum, where this poster made a curious request. "What does a penis taste like?" In every other sentence he'd vehemently deny being gay. As his ruminations became gayer and gayer, he denied his being gay more and more!

Serious question here, I'd honestly like a description of what a cock tastes like. I've heard from a few people its rather salty.

EDIT: BTW I'm not gay, if I was I would just come out and admit but nope just curious

thats the thing i dont know that any of my friends are open enough to do this without the fear of being considered "gay". It's really societies fault, i mean whats gay about two guys making each other feel good? not even that cause im not gay but really whats gay about one man tasting another man cock and even typing that sounds gay but again...society.....

Well cant thank you all enough, I'm feeling fairly confident enough to go right on up to one of my least favorite friends today (i wont care if he backlashes and breaks the friendship with me as much that way) and discussing things over with him......if he agrees that was can taste each other in a strictly heterosexual manner then ill let you all know how it goes and more importantly tastes.

And THAT post reminded me of this movie!

DwmC_Foefen

Belgium2186 Posts

December 23 2008 11:46 GMT

#48

I act like the gay most of the time (touching everyone, slapping butt:boy or girl,...) Everyone loves me! :p But also switch these things up with HARDCORE MASCULIN THINGS like... euhm flexing muscles or something :p
Just realised something: Maybe I can get away with this because I have girlfriend:p dunno prolly

But yeah Go nuts dude, who cares what they think:p once you have a girlfriend they'll change their minds. ^^

mmgoose

769 Posts

December 23 2008 11:49 GMT

#49

nothing wrong with being gay. if at all possible i hope there'd be more gay men; just so more women would get over me looking like daniel craig who got hit by a shovel--seriously.

Schnake

Germany2819 Posts

December 23 2008 12:14 GMT

#50

I think a private homemade sex tape would greatly encourage your friends to reconsider their thinking.

Quanticfograw

United States2053 Posts

December 23 2008 12:20 GMT

#51

Lol dude its ok if your gay no ones gonna judge.... i mean telling your parents your gay is the hardest thing about rollerblading.

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MrHoon

10183 Posts

December 23 2008 12:31 GMT

#52

hey I got gay friends

then again I lived in NY and MA half my life.

minus_human

4784 Posts

December 23 2008 12:36 GMT

#53

On December 23 2008 16:58 esla_sol wrote:
lots of actors like kevin spacey and john travolta are gay.

and most of them prolly started on TL, as well

Emlary

China3334 Posts

December 23 2008 12:37 GMT

#54

Trust me, even if you had a hot gf, they would think you were pretending as well. It's the situation with one of my co-worker (male, artist), who uses lip stick and wears earrings.

But my heart says:
+ Show Spoiler +

You're yet to meet your Mr.Right.