|
My mother has hepatitis. She has had it my entire life.
She also has some sort of mental problems, and she is not honest about it. The mental problems explain for why she treated me so poorly sometimes during my childhood, most likely without realizing it. I know, lots of people have hard childhoods. I was one of those people. I imagine it was the root cause of my anxiety/lonerism/add.
She treats my father cruelly and isn't honest with herself about it. She claims he gets mad at her when in reality it is she that gets upset at my dad. This is very stressful, I feel bad for my father.
I have been living with them while I wait to go into the air force. But, I can't stand for this anymore.
My parents saw a counselor once. The counselor told my mother, in private, that she had issues with her father that she needs to address, and that in turn because of it she has issues with men. She left that counselor, upset, never to go back again.
I told my mom that my parents need to see a counselor again. She said that my father refused to go. This is a straight up lie, it is in fact her that refuses to go. I cannot stand for the way she treats my father anymore. He suffers, and so do I, and so does she. She isn't honest with herself.
I gave her an ultimatum. Either they go see a counselor or I leave and I don't plan on coming back.
She said no. She tried to lay a guilt trip on me, like somehow she can't see a counselor while she has hepatitis because it will harm her or something. Which is clearly bullshit. Things could not possibly become more stressful for her by seeing a counselor.
So I am leaving. I shall stay with my grandmother, who is housesitting for a friend for the next month. Hopefully the air force thing pans out by then, or I really don't know what I will do.
But I won't go back unless she sees a counselor and that is the end of that.
edit: bad news
the woman my gma is housesitting for doesn't want me staying at her house, as she hardly knows me and has a super fancy house. I understand, but im not sure what course of action to take now.
|
Wow.
Just...
I feel bad for both you and your mother.
|
|
|
in my opinion... you should probably let go of your mother, it's never anyone's fault but... you shouldn't have to deal with that type of shit, especially from your mother.
hmm you could also keep trying to help her and your father out...
but, dude! now that i think about it, i don't think a counselor is what she needs, she needs what a counselor is suppose to provide, but not an actually counselor.
I mean... if my parents tried to make me see a counselor i would straight up tell them no
|
Sorry to hear travis. Wish you the best and good luck in the Air Force.
After I joined the military, my whole life changed for the better and I sincerely hope the same happens for you.
|
On June 19 2010 03:48 Beyonder wrote:
you are the 'child'-- not the parent.
yeah that too but... this is going to be a huge crossroads in his life
|
I'm sorry to hear about this travis, you are such a wonderful poster on these forums. I hate seeing good people with bad news. I am glad to see you are being proactive about the situation, bud.
Good luck.
|
I get sad when I read stories like this I wish you all the best and I hope things get a bit brighter in near future for you and your parents.
I hope you get into that Air Force thingie soon tho, think it will do you some good. It can be really nice to just get away from things when it's at it worst. Especially with cases like this where I guess you could really use a time-out and have other things to trouble your mind with.
Best of luck, cheers.
|
France1920 Posts
Don't be sad, SC2 is coming soon. =)
More seriously, i know how parents problems can mess up kids. My advice to you is to focus on yourself, try to manage your daily routine so you don't get to think about your problems too much, and no matter what keep moving forward !
|
Yo even though family ties are probably the strongest bonds of social solidarity, sometimes you just have to be looking out for your best interest. I don't know whether or not you're sad because your mother is ill or because she refused to see a counselor after your ultimatum.
The illness. . I dunno what you can do to improve your mother's health condition.
Your mother refusing to see a counselor you cannot control her and force her.
Thus, just do what's in your best interest (i.e. air force as you mentioned) if air force doesn't work out, have a backup plan. Move out to a bachelor suite or with a roommate and work full-time and just keep in touch with your mother from a short distance. Maybe she will come to realize you were right one day.
Don't feel bad about your childhood, you may have had it bad but I'm sure there are others who've had it worse. You got this far in life and just take it for what it is and be grateful. GL
|
I feel for you. I also had an extremely rough childhood, as my mother and father both dealt with alcoholism their entire adult lives. The best thing I ever did was get the hell outta there. You gotta stop trying to deal with other peoples lives and problems, and just get out and start living your own. Personally, my stress level dropped from a solid 10 to like a 1. Life has been great ever since. Even if the airforce doesnt pan out, look for a decent paying job in the meantime (construction pays well) and just get out on your own!
|
Just so it's clear, I am 25 years old and only have to be at my parent's house because of mistakes I have made on my own. They are doing me a favor by letting me stay here. My mother is a good person who loves me very much I just wish she could be honest with herself about her shortcomings.
|
I'll pray for you and your family, that things work out
|
I think your Dad is the one that needs to be laying down ultimatums. Sorry to hear man, hope it works out. Im doubly sad to hear your joining the military - your one of my favorite posters good luck with that yo~
|
I hope you have a good future, no one should have to deal with stuff like this : (
|
The military should be fine. I am taking the asvab this coming monday, and if I score 93 or higher(which I expect to) things should go smoothly and I will get a good job of my choice.
|
I'm really sorry to hear that, and I'm glad you're leaving. Seriously I couldn't stand living with someone like that either, I got angry just reading your blog and once she realized that she was treating you badly when you were little and wasn't honest about it.. NOW THAT SERIOUSLY pisses me off. I cannot stand people who lie about the most retarded, random, unnecessary bullshit. If you hadn't said so yourself, I would've said that you should leave that place. I know it feels like you're abandoning your father, but if you seriously can't stand it, get the fuck out. Around 6 months ago I moved out of my grandparents house, since they raised me when I was little... and now I'm living with my mom which is pretty great. My grandma was just... a bitch basically, and once my cousin told me that he agrees, I really wanted to cry because I thought I was the only one who thought she was a bitch. I've known my cousin and kept visiting/hanging out with him since I was 5 and now I'm going to be 20, he's a very decent person and I got so glad he agreed about my grandma, even though I love her, I just can't live with her anymore hahaha. I really want to call your mom a straight up bitch... I really do. I'm sorry you're going through this, it must be hard, and I hope for the best for you!
|
I hope everything turns out alright Travis.
|
I understand the frustration that arises from not having a say in what goes on in the house. Especially if a member is acting in a disrespectful way towards one family member. It can tear a family to the point of no return. If it gets too hard being around the house, try taking the laptop to some cafe or library and leave them alone. It usually helps me, so I thought I'd pass the advice along. Hope your mother comes to term with her actions. Good luck
|
That sucks mans. Hope it all works out in the end.
Good luck with the air force though. From following your bodyweight work I'm sure your training will be insanely beneficial. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
