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United States24680 Posts
The purpose of this thread is just some general discussion about moving out from your parents' house or college into a place of your own. One thing to keep in mind is that the best course of action is going to be different for every person (still, we should be able to offer each other tangible advice). Some places are much easier to move out on your own than others. Some people have good roommates to live with and share costs... and some don't. The possibilities are endless so I'm just seeking some general rules of thumb and suggestions that are almost universally useful. Let me separate this into a few different topics...
Note - For those of you who have some experience in this topic already, then please share your thoughts. For those of you who have no idea about this topic, then I offer for you to read what is said and feel free to ask questions.
Topic 1: Getting away from your parents:
There will probably be more disagreement here than in most other topics, and also... there is no right or wrong answer. It depends a lot. But generally, what are you thoughts on when you should get out of the house? Most people agree that you shoudldn't be a 40 year old still living with your parents unless you are a very special case. But some people feel that living with your parents during, and maybe a few years after college is okay. If you want to take a stance on this issue, please explain why. Also, if moving away from 'home' is going to be very difficult... how willing should you be to make sacrifices? I remember one tl staff member in particular telling me that he would do pretty much anything he could to ensure he was living away from his parents... even if that meant stretching money extremely thin. Personally, I don't share his mindset but I'd love to better understand it.
Topic 2: Options for moving out:
Obviously, you aren't moving out of your parents' house right after college with no job and purchasing a four bedroom house (unless you are really rich... and you probably don't have much to offer to this discussion). What are some more realistic options? This will of course vary according to region, and I want to point out that I'm looking at this from a USA perspective (there is also much variation depending on state and town). Of course, the story in Canada and many other countries isn't that different. Are there any purchasing options that are reasonable, or is it pretty much 100% renting? The renting options I've personally begun to explore are 1 bedroom apartments (many types of course), studio apartments (generally cheaper), and larger apartments shared by multiple people (most cost effective, but risky). We also need to consider that apartments come in more than one variety, such as houses with apartments built into the basement/upstairs, or owned by private companies. There are garden apartments, townhouses, etc. Many places have large apartment buildings. Which are the best ones to explore for the area you are looking into? Why? Some other things to consider: parking availability (lots of parking ticket threads on tl lol), pets (big issue in many places), smoking (big issue in many places), which ammenities are included (heat, water, electricity, tv, phone, internet, etc).
Topic 3: Who to live with:
For those of us who don't have a significant other, we are faced with the choice of either moving into a new place alone, or rooming with others (if you have a gf then the two of you will probably both work and have more options available). Lets rule out accomodations where residents don't have their own bedroom (like third roommate crashing on the living room couch). What are your thoughts about the need to have a/several roommate(s) early in your life/career? How nice is it to live alone? How important is it not to be by yourself? Is it usually too hard to move out without a roommate?
Topic 4: Short term vs Long term plans:
Is some housing good if you only plan to live somewhere for a short period of time (1 year, 2 years, etc), while other housing is better if there's a good chance you won't want to move for many years? (Obvious example is buying a house, but most of us can't do that). I've also met people who purchase, and then rent rooms out to college students, friends, etc, which I suppose is another option. What are some important long-term plans you should think about before you take any action with moving out? Or, should you do something which works in the short term and worry about the long term later?
Topic 5: Rules of thumb:
I've heard some rules of thumb... and I also think this might be the place to respond to what could be considered an FAQ. Some items:
a) How should you figure out what rent you will be able to afford? One thing I've heard is that your rent plus ammenities should be about 1/3 of your income. Is that fair? What else do you need to consider?
b) How important is it to have a landline? (I'm sure I'll be more interested in this than most of tl since I don't use my cell phone that much) Television? (Internet makes tv much less important for many people) What should you do about internet since you aren't going to be piggy backing on your parents or college internet anymore (this varies a lot by region I'm sure)?
c) How do you research housing in your area? For me, I've so far found the newspaper Newsday has a solid housing classified section every Friday. Craig's List has one as well, however I'm finding it annoying to browse since the towns are not organized in any reasonable way. Other ideas?
d) Other Ideas/Questions?
edit: Feel free to share stories/descriptions/pictures of your history.
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i cant believe you made a thread for this
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United States24680 Posts
On September 13 2009 05:09 mahnini wrote:
i cant believe you made a thread for this
A topic that is very important in everyone's life? Where people who have been through the ordeal can offer a lot of advice to those who haven't? If you really feel that way then just don't post in the thread.
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It's really easy. Cant believe it has ben 8years already. On the other hand I lived alone every summer since I was ~15 or so, dont really remember.
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United States24680 Posts
On September 13 2009 05:14 Eatme wrote:
It's really easy. Cant believe it has ben 8years already. On the other hand I lived alone every summer since I was ~15 or so, dont really remember.
In Switzerland? If you don't mind, could you share what type of place you were living in.... what % of your income was going to rent... stuff like that? Most people I've spoken to haven't found it easy where I live.
What were you doing that you were alone summers when you were 15?
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I became much happier as soon as I moved out of the house at the age of 19. Even though I go to college in the same town that I grew up in, and therefore could still live with my parents, I much prefer living with other students. My parents understand that and we still see each other pretty often. I live in a house with 5 awesome guys, we're all third- and fourth-years, and we all get along really well. It's a great atmosphere. Because there are 6 of us, rent is not too bad (for Berkeley, that is), and living in a real house beats the hell out of living in an apartment or a dorm (we lucked out). We're on the opposite side of campus from all the football/fraternity nonsense, so the only time it's noisy is when we throw our own parties 
Best way to live at college IMO is to plan ahead with 3-5 people you like a lot and find a nice flat. Keep it tidy and it can be a really great place to live during your college years!
[brag] Every time people come over they comment on how nice our place is =D [/brag]
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United States24680 Posts
On September 13 2009 05:19 Djabanete wrote:I became much happier as soon as I moved out of the house at the age of 19. Even though I go to college in the same town that I grew up in, and therefore could still live with my parents, I much prefer living with other students. My parents understand that and we still see each other pretty often. I live in a house with 5 awesome guys, we're all third- and fourth-years, and we all get along really well. It's a great atmosphere. Because there are 6 of us, rent is not too bad (for Berkeley, that is), and living in a real house beats the hell out of living in an apartment or a dorm (we lucked out). We're on the opposite side of campus from all the football/fraternity nonsense, so the only time it's noisy is when we throw our own parties Best way to live at college IMO is to plan ahead with 3-5 people you like a lot and find a nice flat. Keep it tidy and it can be a really great place to live during your college years! [brag] Every time people come over they comment on how nice our place is =D [/brag]
Sounds awesome. Any plans for after you graduate?
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In my opinion, I think it's best to move out when you can afford to live as comfortable as you would be able to while living at home. By this, I mean on top of rent/utilities, you can still afford your cell phone bill, car insurance, gas money, and food/other necessities. You can't make enough for all that while working part-time as a college student on top of tuition and rent for your parents(in my case anyway).
However, if your family is wealthy and they are paying your tuition, on top of letting you stay at home and feeding you for free, then it may be possible depending on how much you are willing to work and how much you get paid.
Also, if you have a couple friends or someone else to be roommates with, you might be able to live comfortably if you are able to split the rent.
For me, I don't think I'm going to be able to move out until I'm done my BCIS, or if I'm lucky, if I manage to get some kind of job in the field which pays better than working in a crappy grocery store. I already have at least one person who I'm moving out with, so if the income is right, then hopefully I can move out then.
Basically, if you can move out and live somewhat comfortably, then go for it. I'm not as desperate as the one TL staff member that you mentioned in the OP. Personally, I don't think this is possible unless you have wealthy family providing you with good circumstances until you are done schooling.
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Heh.. Interesting topic.. and a tough decision and thing to do I think.
It's a tough world out there, and I don't think it's quite "easy" to do something liek living alone, by yourself, unless you have a masters in some critical field like medical or tech etc.. to where u could obviously handle it alone..
I still live @ home, after trying various situations.. like living w/ my sister for awhile, to get away from the parents for awhile and be able to do what I wanna do.. That worked for awhile, until she wanted to be a bitch and screw me over for 400$.. so I left that behind and I shacked up w/ a GF I was w/ for like 2 years.. that went well for awhile, had a nice apartment and was renting some furniture etc.. and it kinda sucked when we separated, cause it was a bad break-up and the fact that I was making the payments on all the stuff we were renting.. weekly, and when I left I had to leave all that stuff behind and she finished payments on it..
So when I came back home and got more work and was able to do what I wanted to, catch up on things and really get a lot accomplished, like getting my self a car, some cosmetic stuff etc. and really have a good time again..
I think living alone is particularly difficult in today's enviroment.. w/ prices the way they are etc.. Needless to say, I highly doubt anyone could survive alone on "minimum wage".. that's the stupidest thing I ever heard.. It's defined to a point to where someone could successfully manage a life alone w/ the minimum amount to be paid - well, here its liek 7$/hr which would be like 250$/week if u get payed weekly.. which would be about 8-900$ a month.. take into consideration that most apartments, rennovated, are like 1K-1200 a month, or u can try to get lower or cheaper accomodations to be about 6-700 a month, which doesnt leave much for other nice luxuries like cable, much food, insurance (car), phone (home or cell), gas to and from.. etc.. not to mention water, power, etc..
So ya, I think the best way to live comfortable, away from home would be to room w/ ppl - which is a "touchy" situation.. if u're friends, u could prolly make it work a lot easier and be able to negotiate and get along w/ each other. Or theres just public room-mates, that u meet or whatever.. which tends to small differences in terms of cleanliness or mannerisms.. like playing music loud when u're trying to sleep, or having a lot of their friends over, partying when u're trying to relax w/ a friend or GF etc. Mostly, I find a lot of young ppl irresponsible and reckless, and un-sanitary.. They don't mind if the house looks liek shit, w/ clothes and trash all over the place, like the day after a party and no one wants to clean up.. I'm a very organized person (some say OCD) and I can't stand shit just to be laying around, looking un-organized O.o if dishes are need to be washed, I try to wash them asap, etc..
but ya, it's tricky and its about what u want to get done and what u're able to get done w/ what u have..
GL
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this so reminded me of this
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Katowice25012 Posts
On September 13 2009 05:30 Grobyc wrote:
In my opinion, I think it's best to move out when you can afford to live as comfortable as you would be able to while living at home. By this, I mean on top of rent/utilities, you can still afford your cell phone bill, car insurance, gas money, and food/other necessities. You can't make enough for all that while working part-time as a college student on top of tuition and rent for your parents(in my case anyway).
I don't agree with this at all, living on your own in your first place is never going to be "as comfortable as living at home" and that is why it is a valuable experience. If you wait until you can afford a place that is the same as your parents you are going to be living with them until you're 35, and the experience you gain by being away from them more than pays for itself in an incredibly short period of time. Obviously this isn't true for all people and situations, but I suspect its true for nearly everyone here including those who think it isn't.
I didn't move out until I was 20 and I wish I had done it far earlier. For what its worth as well, I became much much closer to both my parents as soon as I moved out of the state, I'm not entirely sure why but I think it was because spending less time with them meant the conversations and things we did meant more.
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I'll add in for topic 5.
I live in an area that has places that are very rich and it has places that are very poor. I make a pretty decent salary for a 21 year old AND I decided I wanted to live with a roommate so pretty much the sky was the limit right?
Well pretty much. There were some things to think about but it'll be explained.
a) How should you figure out what rent you will be able to afford? One thing I've heard is that your rent plus ammenities should be about 1/3 of your income. Is that fair? What else do you need to consider?
I found that 1/3 of your income is actually a pretty reasonable borderline for top end of your rent+ ammenities payment. You would also be surprised by just how much getting a roommate will reduce your over all costs. If at all possible you REALLY want to live with a roommate you can trust to keep their end of the deal. I currently live in fairly high end apartments with my roommate. I currently pay roughly 2/3rds of the rent and she pays 1/3rd and I find that fair because frankly I just make more and really liked the apartments.
This frees up roughly 400-500 dollars of my paycheck a month and it's absolutely astounding how much more freedom just that amount of money gives you when considering "comfort". 400-500 dollars of just extra money to pad your account will simply make your life easier. When you're talking lower rent places (like 600 a month) numbers like 200 extra dollars a month are amounts of money you will be glad you have extra.
I also don't suggest moving until you have at least 4 months worth of rent in your account just in case anything untoward happens.
b) How important is it to have a landline? (I'm sure I'll be more interested in this than most of tl since I don't use my cell phone that much) Television? (Internet makes tv much less important for many people) What should you do about internet since you aren't going to be piggy backing on your parents or college internet anymore (this varies a lot by region I'm sure)?
We don't have a landline and I don't understand why you would ever need one. The only reason I can think of is if you live in a place that has over all pretty bad cell phone connections. A cell phone is just about better in every possible way than a landline because it's simply portable. Every important part of my life is tied into my cellphone and this is doable because once you have that number a company will gladly allow you to keep it when you change phones as long as you keep paying your bills. Landline is just extra money neither my roommate or I saw the need to pay for.
The television/internet debate? I find that life without the internet to be almost impossible now a days if you want to stay current with everything. I don't mean in terms of gaming... I mean in terms of everything now. Most places will allow you to manage and pay all your bills through some online accounts and it simply makes it so much easier to manage all of it and keep track of your money. A television is purely up to preference. My roommate wanted cable so we have cable... if it were just me I probably wouldn't have cable. I find internet kind of mandatory though. Even if you can only afford 56k you should really consider having it.
c) How do you research housing in your area? For me, I've so far found the newspaper Newsday has a solid housing classified section every Friday. Craig's List has one as well, however I'm finding it annoying to browse since the towns are not organized in any reasonable way. Other ideas?
The housing market tanked... with this knowledge I went to the area I wanted to live in (in this case Alamo Heights) and just literally browsed around with my GPS system for the apartment complexes that were in the range of income I was looking for. Almost every single apartment complex I saw was having some amazing move in special... and this was in the richer part of the city even. I can't imagine it being that hard to find a place you want to live in with the current economy in the United States. With that being said I'd just look around in the general area you want to live in first. If that doesn't work there are a few real estate stores around the town for sure... they usually have brochures on apartments.
d) Other Ideas/Questions?
Yes living on your own is an amazing amount of freedom but don't rush into it. This will be one of the decisions that has consequences for the rest of your life. If you give a shit about your credit history (and you damn well should) you don't want to have to cancel a lease because your job just decided to cut your pay or you lost your job entirely and you have no emergency money to fall back on.
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United States24680 Posts
So far I haven't heard any horror stories of people moving out and then regretting it.... are there any of those!? I guess those people would be less inclined to share, understandably.
One other thing I'm thinking about is this:
Most people seem to avoid the issue of describing when it is 'obviously' okay to live on your own. When is it obvious? Certainly, without a decent job you can't swing it. But someone said a masters in a niche field will most likely make it easy to at least live on your own. Where is the line drawn? How do I know which side of it I am on? (In general, not just me)
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Heh, moving out was awesome for me. It gave me a chance to see what its like living on your own and to compare the pros/cons of living with family. I'm moving back in with my parents to finish up college at a campus thats much closer to where I used to live and I'm really looking forward to it.
They both have their ups and downs... I think the only people who would have a really hard time with it is someone who's on bad terms with their parents and leave on a sour note while being completely unprepared.
Other than that you either a) are going off to college or b) moving out after you have a decent job. Its good that you wrote this though, a lot of people are intimidated by it
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On September 13 2009 06:02 micronesia wrote:
So far I haven't heard any horror stories of people moving out and then regretting it.... are there any of those!? I guess those people would be less inclined to share, understandably.
One other thing I'm thinking about is this:
Most people seem to avoid the issue of describing when it is 'obviously' okay to live on your own. When is it obvious? Certainly, without a decent job you can't swing it. But someone said a masters in a niche field will most likely make it easy to at least live on your own. Where is the line drawn? How do I know which side of it I am on? (In general, not just me)
That depends on how much you're willing to give up in terms of creature comforts.
There are places you can live at with absurdly low rent... I'm talking like 350-400 dollars a month npnpnp. A slightly above minimum wage job could support something like that and be "ok." The problem of course is that those places attract drug lords, prostitution rings, and just generally shady people.
I'm not saying you're going to get murdered or anything but if you were used to living in the quiet suburbs then you'll be in for the shock of your life if you make a move that early.
I guess the obvious moment would be when you look at your bank account and it's just not dropping from the expenses you're putting out living with your parents. This line also shifts for different people. I was content enough living at home when I was 18 and probably would have even if I was making the money I do now. Now? I would move out if I was making three quarters of what I do now. It really depends.
How much are you willing to sacrifice?
How much do you just want to get away?
If the answer to both of those questions is "A SHIT TON" then your obvious line is going to be completely different from someone that is content living at home for a bit longer.
The true horror stories are generally going to revolve around people that have a bad relationship with their parents so they have no fall back plans to save their ass when things go south. If you have a fall back plan then you should generally come out of the experience relatively ok.
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great topic...i was thinking about writing a "how to find a place to live" on the collage forum.
The first time i moved away was two years ago from my place to the city where my collage is and it has been the best move in my life. my parents are so old fashioned and it was really getting on my nerves...things like drinking problems, smoking, constant insulting and shit like that was the stuff I've been looking to get away from.
the first room I found was a small room 100m from the collage, in a house of an granny. the rent money was some 200 USD, i got to use the bathroom, toilet and was suppose to use the kitchen but the owner (granny) was like always there. as for the utilities i internet and heating. usually I would steal wireless signal from the TV station near my room. in the house next door the guy was a piano fixer, so i would sometimes play it, that made my day.
that was the good part, the bad part was that the granny was a religious freak. when my girl slept over and left, she said how bad that was and how big of a sinner i was and all of that crap. as she seen it all before. i got really pissed. i left after six months (when my semester ended and then moved back to my parents house for the summer holidays)
the next place i got was an apartment in a 6 level building, with two roommates and me living in the living room. i had to pay 150USD rent + utilities (sometimes 50 USD, sometimes 150 when the gas crysis emerged in Russia and we we're effected). I got to use the bathroom, kitchen and a terse. as for utilities i got heating and internet.
the landlord was a really great guy, he came over and asked if everything was okay, the prices was solid for an apartment of that quality. the problem came from a single roommate, he was 10 years older and such an asshole. His hi gene level was 0 and he came hopping into my room. i was having sex w/ my gf, he came in an started to eat a sandwich in my room. fuck that asshole.
so i found a new room now in the center of the city, with 5 min walk of the collage. I have all i need, two solid roommates and less money to pay. The landlord is a strict guy, but at least we singed a contract so he can't fuck me over. i like that.
I'm moving there in two weeks, when the current user will move back home.
can't wait
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I am currently making only $20/hr at my job, working roughly 120 hours every 2 weeks, and I don't have a single problem financially. However this is in Canada. My rent is $625 and I have to pay for power (regulated in my apartment - low fee). At first, I had wayy too much money just sitting around, so I went out and got new furniture at rentacenter (tv / computer etc) .
The biggest problem i've had has just been looking towards the future. You gotta constantly be thinking about next months bills, and food, and how you are going to budget your money so you don't run into unexpected circumstances.
also Jayme is right, it's important to have at the very least 1 extra months rent in your account. Life throws curveballs , and you gotta be prepared no matter what. Just as an example, I decided to save 2 months rent in advance, and sure enough 1 week later someone frauded my debit card and stole $1000. If I didnt decide to save extra rent money, I probably would of been evicted as it took the bank a few weeks to get that money back to me. Always be prepared for something to happen, and you should never be in trouble.
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On September 13 2009 05:02 micronesia wrote:
a) How should you figure out what rent you will be able to afford? One thing I've heard is that your rent plus ammenities should be about 1/3 of your income. Is that fair? What else do you need to consider?
b) How important is it to have a landline? (I'm sure I'll be more interested in this than most of tl since I don't use my cell phone that much) Television? (Internet makes tv much less important for many people) What should you do about internet since you aren't going to be piggy backing on your parents or college internet anymore (this varies a lot by region I'm sure)?
c) How do you research housing in your area? For me, I've so far found the newspaper Newsday has a solid housing classified section every Friday. Craig's List has one as well, however I'm finding it annoying to browse since the towns are not organized in any reasonable way. Other ideas?
d) Other Ideas/Questions?
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a) yeah, 1/3 of the paycheck is a good measure. even less here, about 1/4. as the state pays the scholarship for the better students here, i don't have to play anything. my parent's pay for the rent but i cover it partially from the money i get from the country (fellowship).
b) it's very important to have internet access. if you wanna play SC, wireless will not cut it :D
i require a table, chair, bed and a closet in my room. fuck TV.
c) two internet portals and a local newspaper which come out once a week (monday's)
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working 60 hour weeks exigent? Yeah I imagine you wouldn't have any financial problems making 50-60k a year  its quite a respectable salary
as to when someone should move out.. I dunno. I'm 21, I still live with my parents. Well granted, I live alone when I'm in school, and I've lived alone for a year before (although I'd visit my parents very often, once a month or so), but it's just impossible for me to afford my ridiculous tuition and rent, so I'm waiting until I graduate to 'fully' move out. As soon as I graduate though, the very first thing I'm doing is moving out :p
Good timing on the thread though, I'm packing right now for the fall semester.. moving tomorrow ^_^
Question on that 1/3 paycheque rule.. are we talking the biweekly paycheque? So 1/6th of your monthly salary overall? Seems a tad on the low side here if you are planning to live alone
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I moved out since I went to college at age 20, I pay 214 euros a month for a bedroom and share the rest of the house with 3 housemates. This stuff is kind of the norm here when you go to university, don't live with your parents during college lol, that blows.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://pictureshare.org/images/c33e1dfb8b466419409d58df037d2ea9.jpg)
