Don't post in this thread to say "gay gamers are like everyone else, why do they have a special thread?" It is something that has been posted numerous times, and this isn't the place for that discussion.
Brachester think to yourself for a minute about the idea that straight people dont feel the need to be public with their sexuality in the same way that it makes you uncomfortable when some gays do it.
How common is it for guys to say "id so x her" "man look at that ass..." etc. etc. openly, publically, and acceptedly. You probably think nothing of it, probably dont even register it because you dont regard is as being "open about their heterosexuality". You regard it as "normal" and as such it doesnt register.
The fact is people are open publically with their sexuality all the time, the only reason you single one group out and delude yourself into thinking they are unique in feeling the need to, and the way they express it, is because you've already decided you don't like it, that it is not normal, and should be kept hidden in a tiny little box labelled "abandon hope all ye who enter here".
Now don't misunderstand me I personally find overt flamboyancy, and things like feigned lisps that seem to somehow become personality traits with some gays really irritating. But I wouldn't view it as much an expression of their sexuality, more their personality, although thinking about it the two are inextricably linked so distinguishing might be abit moot...
Main point is though, don't kid yourself into thinking that gay people are more public, open, in your face, pushy, invading with their sexuality becase the opposite is true. And the only reason it may seem that way is because its not socially accepted, so when it does occur it very much stands out as "not normal".
On December 06 2011 00:35 XeliN wrote: Brachester think to yourself for a minute about the idea that straight people dont feel the need to be public with their sexuality in the same way that it makes you uncomfortable when some gays do it.
How common is it for guys to say "id so x her" "man look at that ass..." etc. etc. openly, publically, and acceptedly. You probably think nothing of it, probably dont even register it because you dont regard is as being "open about their heterosexuality". You regard it as "normal" and as such it doesnt register.
The fact is people are open publically with their sexuality all the time, the only reason you single one group out and delude yourself into thinking they are unique in feeling the need to, and the way they express it, is because you've already decided you don't like it, that it is not normal, and should be kept hidden in a tiny little box labelled "abandon hope all ye who enter here".
Now don't misunderstand me I personally find overt flamboyancy, and things like feigned lisps that seem to somehow become personality traits with some gays really irritating. But I wouldn't view it as much an expression of their sexuality, more their personality, although thinking about it the two are inextricably linked so distinguishing might be abit moot...
Main point is though, don't kid yourself into thinking that gay people are more public, open, in your face, pushy, invading with their sexuality becase the opposite is true. And the only reason it may seem that way is because its not socially accepted, so when it does occur it very much stands out as "not normal".
actually you're maybe right, i'll be taking notes of what people say from now on and see if it's true. But it doesn't work for me though, i can be sure of it. I never feels comfortable talking about stuff related to sex/gender, it just feels so out of place. Maybe because i grown up in an asian culture? Most of my asian (true asian and they're straight) friends i can surely remember doesn't say those stuff as well.
Actually just the other day these two guys were talking at the bus stop. Their friend got a call from a girl who only had 15 minutes until she had to go to sleep and invited him over to bang. The guy rushed over, did it, then went back to his place. All these details were quite available to the several people at the bus stop, among whom included girls. No one seemed to mind it even though it was audible. That was a bit extreme, but I really don't want to hear about people's sexual exploitations, and it's worse that they were talking about some other guy. I do wonder what they thought of it, and if it would be inversely different if it was a gay guy.
I know very few openly gay people where I live and only one ever went around expressing her sexuality and "forcing" it onto others. Being bisexual myself I can fit into both crowds fairly easily, but I'm more familiar with the hetero crowd. That being said, sex is always a popular topic here. My one friend for example is always talking about the latest explicits with his girlfriend. But honestly I never actually viewed this as "forcing" his sexuality on me or anyone. But personally I don't go around talking about men I've had explicit relations with because the "norm" that I learned was heterosexuality, and it does perk my curiousity as to why some gays feel it necissary and others don't (I consoder myself part of the second "group"; and in fact I honestly don't enjoy direct sexual talking (hetero- or homosexual) in conversation, joking around sure but not the "forced" direct "I did 'x' with whom" or "I want to do 'x' to whom".) But I think that those who feel the need to tell the world they are gay and are "forcing" it down your throat are either trying to redefine "the norm" or are finally embracing themselves instead of smoldering it as most cultures would prefer (I think this sums up what XeliN said)
As to talking about gorgeous men, should this thread not have that openess? Sure the thread's intent was to give straight people an insight on any questions they have, but at the same giving gays a place to be themselves without fear of "the trolls". I don't see any problems with talking openly about whom is cuter and the like, as long as it dorsn't become explicit (think proper, polite conversation; "Would you say that in front of a lady" for lack of better sayings, keep it clean)
On December 06 2011 01:45 Troxle wrote: I know very few openly gay people where I live and only one ever went around expressing her sexuality and "forcing" it onto others. Being bisexual myself I can fit into both crowds fairly easily, but I'm more familiar with the hetero crowd. That being said, sex is always a popular topic here. My one friend for example is always talking about the latest explicits with his girlfriend. But honestly I never actually viewed this as "forcing" his sexuality on me or anyone. But personally I don't go around talking about men I've had explicit relations with because the "norm" that I learned was heterosexuality, and it does perk my curiousity as to why some gays feel it necissary and others don't (I consoder myself part of the second "group"; and in fact I honestly don't enjoy direct sexual talking (hetero- or homosexual) in conversation, joking around sure but not the "forced" direct "I did 'x' with whom" or "I want to do 'x' to whom".) But I think that those who feel the need to tell the world they are gay and are "forcing" it down your throat are either trying to redefine "the norm" or are finally embracing themselves instead of smoldering it as most cultures would prefer (I think this sums up what XeliN said)
As to talking about gorgeous men, should this thread not have that openess? Sure the thread's intent was to give straight people an insight on any questions they have, but at the same giving gays a place to be themselves without fear of "the trolls". I don't see any problems with talking openly about whom is cuter and the like, as long as it dorsn't become explicit (think proper, polite conversation; "Would you say that in front of a lady" for lack of better sayings, keep it clean)
I don't do it, but I think some just feel it as a norm as when someone says their own exploits its normal to follow up with yours. which, in some cases, make others feel uncomfortable. I mean, I've seen two examples actually where a straight guy was talking about his girlfriend, and a gay friend started talking about his boyfriend the same way and got a COMPLETELY different look at him.
Just a question for you guys, do you think we (LGBT) as a whole are too sensitive on some things? I don't mean things like people using gay or fag or dyke as general language since bad experiences do happen. But when people are 100% good intentioned, I think instead of taking offense to things they should just be mislead. I say mostly because at a discussion group, one of our MtF trans members talked about an experience about how she had someone who came up to her and they said how proud they were of her for doing what she did and being true to herself, and she took great offense to it, saying why are you PROUD of this, it's a natural thing. I'm just doing what I have to do like everyone else, I don't need you to be proud of me for, how dare you think it's something that you have to be proud of me for. She worded it much more eloquently than that, and I saw her point behind it, but it seemed harsh to me, I mean, it's the kind of thing where I know the person was well-intentioned behind it, so why not just, you know, smile and thank them for it, maybe politely say something like "Thanks, but I really don't need you to be proud of me being who I am." (though for the record, I do believe that it's something people can be proud of for being an openly queer or trans person in this culture, since there is still a noticable amount of hate crimes worldwide).
I'm sure there are other things though, where it's a double standard, you know. if someone makes a joke about a guy and a girl it's fine, but somebody makes a joke about two guys it's over the line (or disgusting from a straight person's perspective, as I saw earlier in this thread. x.x)
Your thoughts?
Also, I think HuK and Hero and MKP are the cutest little things, but in the same way that I'd love to cuddle up to the mannerbear sheth (Particularly in some pictures, I think he's the cutest thing. <3). And I would otherwise definetly go for demuslim as a guy who could talk my pants off pretty quickly.
On December 06 2011 01:45 Troxle wrote: I know very few openly gay people where I live and only one ever went around expressing her sexuality and "forcing" it onto others. Being bisexual myself I can fit into both crowds fairly easily, but I'm more familiar with the hetero crowd. That being said, sex is always a popular topic here. My one friend for example is always talking about the latest explicits with his girlfriend. But honestly I never actually viewed this as "forcing" his sexuality on me or anyone. But personally I don't go around talking about men I've had explicit relations with because the "norm" that I learned was heterosexuality, and it does perk my curiousity as to why some gays feel it necissary and others don't (I consoder myself part of the second "group"; and in fact I honestly don't enjoy direct sexual talking (hetero- or homosexual) in conversation, joking around sure but not the "forced" direct "I did 'x' with whom" or "I want to do 'x' to whom".) But I think that those who feel the need to tell the world they are gay and are "forcing" it down your throat are either trying to redefine "the norm" or are finally embracing themselves instead of smoldering it as most cultures would prefer (I think this sums up what XeliN said)
As to talking about gorgeous men, should this thread not have that openess? Sure the thread's intent was to give straight people an insight on any questions they have, but at the same giving gays a place to be themselves without fear of "the trolls". I don't see any problems with talking openly about whom is cuter and the like, as long as it dorsn't become explicit (think proper, polite conversation; "Would you say that in front of a lady" for lack of better sayings, keep it clean)
I don't do it, but I think some just feel it as a norm as when someone says their own exploits its normal to follow up with yours. which, in some cases, make others feel uncomfortable. I mean, I've seen two examples actually where a straight guy was talking about his girlfriend, and a gay friend started talking about his boyfriend the same way and got a COMPLETELY different look at him.
Just a question for you guys, do you think we (LGBT) as a whole are too sensitive on some things? I don't mean things like people using gay or fag or dyke as general language since bad experiences do happen. But when people are 100% good intentioned, I think instead of taking offense to things they should just be mislead. I say mostly because at a discussion group, one of our MtF trans members talked about an experience about how she had someone who came up to her and they said how proud they were of her for doing what she did and being true to herself, and she took great offense to it, saying why are you PROUD of this, it's a natural thing. I'm just doing what I have to do like everyone else, I don't need you to be proud of me for, how dare you think it's something that you have to be proud of me for. She worded it much more eloquently than that, and I saw her point behind it, but it seemed harsh to me, I mean, it's the kind of thing where I know the person was well-intentioned behind it, so why not just, you know, smile and thank them for it, maybe politely say something like "Thanks, but I really don't need you to be proud of me being who I am." (though for the record, I do believe that it's something people can be proud of for being an openly queer or trans person in this culture, since there is still a noticable amount of hate crimes worldwide).
I'm sure there are other things though, where it's a double standard, you know. if someone makes a joke about a guy and a girl it's fine, but somebody makes a joke about two guys it's over the line (or disgusting from a straight person's perspective, as I saw earlier in this thread. x.x)
Your thoughts?
Also, I think HuK and Hero and MKP are the cutest little things, but in the same way that I'd love to cuddle up to the mannerbear sheth (Particularly in some pictures, I think he's the cutest thing. <3). And I would otherwise definetly go for demuslim as a guy who could talk my pants off pretty quickly.
The poopy thing about the whole LGBT movement is that everyone has struggled differently and drawn their own conclusions about who they are. It's hard to pin something as "offensive" or "acceptable" on the entire movement because, in some cases, people literally came to opposite conclusions in becoming comfortable with themselves.
I do think that homophobic slurs, like "faggot" or "that's gay" should be phased out. Partly because they just really aren't that clever but mostly because using someone's identity as an insult is probably not a good idea. Sometimes people slip up and make a mistake and that's fine. But they shouldn't get defensive if you call them on it. They need to understand that words can alienate and sometimes restraint is a lot better than looking like an asshole (regardless of how right you think you are).
And context really isn't a "get out of jail free card." I'll hear people justify using the word and they'll scream so loud about context that I wonder if they aren't just trying to drown out their own doubts about using the world. And also, there's no context in which I can use the word "apple" and you won't think of the fruit. Context can't completely wipe meaning from a word.
I personally prefer people just treat me normally and don't try to congratulate me or tell me how proud they are. However, I imagine they think that my struggle was both hard and one that needed to be fought so if they do tell me they're proud of me I'll take it as a compliment.
She probably shouldn't have gotten upset that someone was proud of her. Yes, it's natural for her, but we live in a culture that tells us we're abominations. Mustering up the courage to even do what's natural for us can be a big deal sometimes. Eventually it'll be normal enough that people aren't proud of us but for now...I won't turn down the sympathy. We'll just say she was ahead of her time.
On December 06 2011 01:45 Troxle wrote: I know very few openly gay people where I live and only one ever went around expressing her sexuality and "forcing" it onto others. Being bisexual myself I can fit into both crowds fairly easily, but I'm more familiar with the hetero crowd. That being said, sex is always a popular topic here. My one friend for example is always talking about the latest explicits with his girlfriend. But honestly I never actually viewed this as "forcing" his sexuality on me or anyone. But personally I don't go around talking about men I've had explicit relations with because the "norm" that I learned was heterosexuality, and it does perk my curiousity as to why some gays feel it necissary and others don't (I consoder myself part of the second "group"; and in fact I honestly don't enjoy direct sexual talking (hetero- or homosexual) in conversation, joking around sure but not the "forced" direct "I did 'x' with whom" or "I want to do 'x' to whom".) But I think that those who feel the need to tell the world they are gay and are "forcing" it down your throat are either trying to redefine "the norm" or are finally embracing themselves instead of smoldering it as most cultures would prefer (I think this sums up what XeliN said)
As to talking about gorgeous men, should this thread not have that openess? Sure the thread's intent was to give straight people an insight on any questions they have, but at the same giving gays a place to be themselves without fear of "the trolls". I don't see any problems with talking openly about whom is cuter and the like, as long as it dorsn't become explicit (think proper, polite conversation; "Would you say that in front of a lady" for lack of better sayings, keep it clean)
I don't do it, but I think some just feel it as a norm as when someone says their own exploits its normal to follow up with yours. which, in some cases, make others feel uncomfortable. I mean, I've seen two examples actually where a straight guy was talking about his girlfriend, and a gay friend started talking about his boyfriend the same way and got a COMPLETELY different look at him.
Just a question for you guys, do you think we (LGBT) as a whole are too sensitive on some things? I don't mean things like people using gay or fag or dyke as general language since bad experiences do happen. But when people are 100% good intentioned, I think instead of taking offense to things they should just be mislead. I say mostly because at a discussion group, one of our MtF trans members talked about an experience about how she had someone who came up to her and they said how proud they were of her for doing what she did and being true to herself, and she took great offense to it, saying why are you PROUD of this, it's a natural thing. I'm just doing what I have to do like everyone else, I don't need you to be proud of me for, how dare you think it's something that you have to be proud of me for. She worded it much more eloquently than that, and I saw her point behind it, but it seemed harsh to me, I mean, it's the kind of thing where I know the person was well-intentioned behind it, so why not just, you know, smile and thank them for it, maybe politely say something like "Thanks, but I really don't need you to be proud of me being who I am." (though for the record, I do believe that it's something people can be proud of for being an openly queer or trans person in this culture, since there is still a noticable amount of hate crimes worldwide).
I'm sure there are other things though, where it's a double standard, you know. if someone makes a joke about a guy and a girl it's fine, but somebody makes a joke about two guys it's over the line (or disgusting from a straight person's perspective, as I saw earlier in this thread. x.x)
Your thoughts?
Also, I think HuK and Hero and MKP are the cutest little things, but in the same way that I'd love to cuddle up to the mannerbear sheth (Particularly in some pictures, I think he's the cutest thing. <3). And I would otherwise definetly go for demuslim as a guy who could talk my pants off pretty quickly.
RE LGBT being sensitive - I don't think you can pin it on the community as a whole as it's totally subjective. Factors that influence how sensitive someone is to something (in addition to all the usual ones like coming out process, personal values etc) could include their orientation or where they live. As an example, I would think (no stats just my thought process) that a transgender could be more sensitive than say a gay man as transgender is generally less understood by society. Also some places might be more comfortable with one and not the other. I'm extremely laid back when it comes to this sort of thing but I've grown up in a country where I can get married as a gay man - it might not be the same for someone in a country that has different laws.
This could be totally factually wrong, but hopefully you understand my reasoning - The factors that determine what you're asking are numerous and I don't think that it is that simple, to bang a "over-sensitive" stamp on the entire LGBT community.
I'd like to spend my 400th post here ^_^ I enjoy this thread immensely. I spent a lot of time debating what I thought of Huk. Unfortunately he isn't really my type (he looks too much like my boyfriend's best friend). Also, I should mention I'm not actually gay, but I do like men (I'm a girl). I hope that makes it okay to post here? I am from Cape Town and so I have met many many gays and lesbians, but I have never been really good friends with any of them besides Vince, he lives down the passage from me in my hostel, but he works during my off hours and so we only ever get a chance t spend time with each other when we're bathing in separate stalls and he is asking me to describe my boyfriend I know, strange. He is fun though. Anyway, I came here as I would like to learn more and possibly make a few friends and so far you all seem like really nice people!
Edit: I would also like to say, the English accent is very sexy. But then again, so is the American accent. In my eyes at least ^_^
jarrydesque is from South Africa iirc so you should get to know him. Be warned that his good looks might drive you crazy as to why he isn't batting for the team of your choice
btw what about the Canadian accent?
Seriously? Wow, is his real name Jarryd? If so, that makes him the 5th Jarryd I have met in this country in the last 3 years! I love the way you worded that btw, batting for the team of my choice. Hmmmm we shall see, the good looking men are always the ones chasing after my guy friends >_< its a tough life being a girl! Hehe. I think the Canadian accent is cute, I have only ever heard it in movies and series of course but I particularly like French Canadian because it makes me feel like studying french was worthwhile ^_^ Canada is somewhere I hope to visit at some point in my life, but I'm not good with cold weather Edit - spelling
@ Masamune Oh you..
I am indeed also from Cape Town! If you're keen to chat pop me a PM! Chances are that we probably know each other somehow... Small cities... you can't get away with anything.
P.S. Jarryd is in fact my second name - So you'll have to save that number 5 for the next one!
P,P.S Can you guys believe I'm STILL playing Skyrim? I'm on my 6th character and definitely beyond 250 hours. Holidays! Fuck yeah!
P.P.P.S. On accents, its one of my things. As in, some boys like hair, some boys like nice legs, some boys like cute features. I like accents. Most accents. The only ones that don't like off the bat are American and Australian. Some people say a South African accent sounds like an Australian accent, much to my... well... horror xD.
On December 06 2011 03:37 Silverfoxx wrote: But when people are 100% good intentioned, I think instead of taking offense to things they should just be mislead. I say mostly because at a discussion group, one of our MtF trans members talked about an experience about how she had someone who came up to her and they said how proud they were of her for doing what she did and being true to herself, and she took great offense to it, saying why are you PROUD of this, it's a natural thing. I'm just doing what I have to do like everyone else, I don't need you to be proud of me for, how dare you think it's something that you have to be proud of me for. She worded it much more eloquently than that, and I saw her point behind it, but it seemed harsh to me, I mean, it's the kind of thing where I know the person was well-intentioned behind it, so why not just, you know, smile and thank them for it, maybe politely say something like "Thanks, but I really don't need you to be proud of me being who I am." (though for the record, I do believe that it's something people can be proud of for being an openly queer or trans person in this culture, since there is still a noticable amount of hate crimes worldwide).
I personally prefer people just treat me normally and don't try to congratulate me or tell me how proud they are. However, I imagine they think that my struggle was both hard and one that needed to be fought so if they do tell me they're proud of me I'll take it as a compliment.
She probably shouldn't have gotten upset that someone was proud of her. Yes, it's natural for her, but we live in a culture that tells us we're abominations. Mustering up the courage to even do what's natural for us can be a big deal sometimes. Eventually it'll be normal enough that people aren't proud of us but for now...I won't turn down the sympathy. We'll just say she was ahead of her time.
Figure i'll give some input from the otherside of that specific issue as I can easily see where she was coming from.
I'm trans and I've experienced the same (or at least very similar) situation, and my reaction was fairly similar though I've realised subsequently I could have probably handled it better. The thing to realise is gay pride can be summed up as people being gay and wanting to stay that way and not being treated like crap for it (I know that won't apply to *everyone* but hopefully it'll make sense when this sentence finishes) where being trans is something that would best be described as a medical condition that many of us wish we weren't and do our best to not apepar to be. The goal of a transsexual person ultimately would be to be not trans but rather just a "man" or "woman" as appropriate and as such it's a lot harder to be 'proud' of what is in essence a medical means to an end.
Thing is though that when people want to show support for LGBT pride tends to be the word of the day, and even if they mean it *as* pride, I've come to realise when the issue does come up that I should look at what is meant rather than what is said. Only after and if it's appropriate I'll continue further to explain why walking up to someone and saying what equates to "Hi, you're clearly a trans person and I can tell because you don't look good enough in your actual gender that I can't yet tell and I'm proud of you for having this issue and still going outside because that's unexpected" might cause a perhaps less than perfectly pleasant response. Admitedly I haven't had that issue in a while thankfully, but the issues are still the same.
As to why I'm spoilering this those who care will read it, and those who don't I'm ok with them not knowing my gender information. In accordance with this post I don't want to be a trans girl online (or offline, but that's another issue). I'm just a girl online, and that's the point. I don't want to be trans, but I am because it's a means to an end. Anyone who Google's my name will find that I don't exactly hide the fact though, I just don't want it to be an important part of who I am to other people.
Edit: For clarification, I'm posting up why it was likely to get that reply, not saying it was the correct reply.
On December 06 2011 11:47 Microsloth wrote: There's so many accents in Canada, I don't think a single accent can be defined as "Canadian". and no, we don't all say "aboot"
Good, Canadian accents are very friendly and cheerful but the "aboot" thing is kinda annoying.
On December 06 2011 00:35 XeliN wrote: Brachester think to yourself for a minute about the idea that straight people dont feel the need to be public with their sexuality in the same way that it makes you uncomfortable when some gays do it.
How common is it for guys to say "id so x her" "man look at that ass..." etc. etc. openly, publically, and acceptedly. You probably think nothing of it, probably dont even register it because you dont regard is as being "open about their heterosexuality". You regard it as "normal" and as such it doesnt register.
The fact is people are open publically with their sexuality all the time, the only reason you single one group out and delude yourself into thinking they are unique in feeling the need to, and the way they express it, is because you've already decided you don't like it, that it is not normal, and should be kept hidden in a tiny little box labelled "abandon hope all ye who enter here".
Now don't misunderstand me I personally find overt flamboyancy, and things like feigned lisps that seem to somehow become personality traits with some gays really irritating. But I wouldn't view it as much an expression of their sexuality, more their personality, although thinking about it the two are inextricably linked so distinguishing might be abit moot...
Main point is though, don't kid yourself into thinking that gay people are more public, open, in your face, pushy, invading with their sexuality becase the opposite is true. And the only reason it may seem that way is because its not socially accepted, so when it does occur it very much stands out as "not normal".
actually you're maybe right, i'll be taking notes of what people say from now on and see if it's true. But it doesn't work for me though, i can be sure of it. I never feels comfortable talking about stuff related to sex/gender, it just feels so out of place. Maybe because i grown up in an asian culture? Most of my asian (true asian and they're straight) friends i can surely remember doesn't say those stuff as well.
Maybe you just hang out with the wrong friends. I went out with a bunch of Japanese guys for the end of year party, and was typing on my tablet. One guy goes, "man that is cool", and the next three questions were "can you watch porn on that thing", "where can you watch porn on that thing", and "can you zoom in on a picture of my junk". These guys were straight mind you.
I have a weird problem with my sexuality in general. I can say it's easily possible that I would fall in love with anyone, even another guy. That is not a big deal, though there are rarely any guys I find attractive.
There was only one guy who there was something emotional going on with, but we lost each other after I moved to another town and I haven't heard from him since.
All my other relationships were with girls, though I am extremely emotion and "weak", which makes people confused about me in general.
What am I? Who am I? Two questions I have no answers for.
On December 06 2011 01:45 Troxle wrote: I know very few openly gay people where I live and only one ever went around expressing her sexuality and "forcing" it onto others. Being bisexual myself I can fit into both crowds fairly easily, but I'm more familiar with the hetero crowd. That being said, sex is always a popular topic here. My one friend for example is always talking about the latest explicits with his girlfriend. But honestly I never actually viewed this as "forcing" his sexuality on me or anyone. But personally I don't go around talking about men I've had explicit relations with because the "norm" that I learned was heterosexuality, and it does perk my curiousity as to why some gays feel it necissary and others don't (I consoder myself part of the second "group"; and in fact I honestly don't enjoy direct sexual talking (hetero- or homosexual) in conversation, joking around sure but not the "forced" direct "I did 'x' with whom" or "I want to do 'x' to whom".) But I think that those who feel the need to tell the world they are gay and are "forcing" it down your throat are either trying to redefine "the norm" or are finally embracing themselves instead of smoldering it as most cultures would prefer (I think this sums up what XeliN said)
As to talking about gorgeous men, should this thread not have that openess? Sure the thread's intent was to give straight people an insight on any questions they have, but at the same giving gays a place to be themselves without fear of "the trolls". I don't see any problems with talking openly about whom is cuter and the like, as long as it dorsn't become explicit (think proper, polite conversation; "Would you say that in front of a lady" for lack of better sayings, keep it clean)
I don't do it, but I think some just feel it as a norm as when someone says their own exploits its normal to follow up with yours. which, in some cases, make others feel uncomfortable. I mean, I've seen two examples actually where a straight guy was talking about his girlfriend, and a gay friend started talking about his boyfriend the same way and got a COMPLETELY different look at him.
Just a question for you guys, do you think we (LGBT) as a whole are too sensitive on some things? I don't mean things like people using gay or fag or dyke as general language since bad experiences do happen. But when people are 100% good intentioned, I think instead of taking offense to things they should just be mislead. I say mostly because at a discussion group, one of our MtF trans members talked about an experience about how she had someone who came up to her and they said how proud they were of her for doing what she did and being true to herself, and she took great offense to it, saying why are you PROUD of this, it's a natural thing. I'm just doing what I have to do like everyone else, I don't need you to be proud of me for, how dare you think it's something that you have to be proud of me for. She worded it much more eloquently than that, and I saw her point behind it, but it seemed harsh to me, I mean, it's the kind of thing where I know the person was well-intentioned behind it, so why not just, you know, smile and thank them for it, maybe politely say something like "Thanks, but I really don't need you to be proud of me being who I am." (though for the record, I do believe that it's something people can be proud of for being an openly queer or trans person in this culture, since there is still a noticable amount of hate crimes worldwide).
I'm sure there are other things though, where it's a double standard, you know. if someone makes a joke about a guy and a girl it's fine, but somebody makes a joke about two guys it's over the line (or disgusting from a straight person's perspective, as I saw earlier in this thread. x.x)
Your thoughts?
Also, I think HuK and Hero and MKP are the cutest little things, but in the same way that I'd love to cuddle up to the mannerbear sheth (Particularly in some pictures, I think he's the cutest thing. <3). And I would otherwise definetly go for demuslim as a guy who could talk my pants off pretty quickly.
RE LGBT being sensitive - I don't think you can pin it on the community as a whole as it's totally subjective. Factors that influence how sensitive someone is to something (in addition to all the usual ones like coming out process, personal values etc) could include their orientation or where they live. As an example, I would think (no stats just my thought process) that a transgender could be more sensitive than say a gay man as transgender is generally less understood by society. Also some places might be more comfortable with one and not the other. I'm extremely laid back when it comes to this sort of thing but I've grown up in a country where I can get married as a gay man - it might not be the same for someone in a country that has different laws.
This could be totally factually wrong, but hopefully you understand my reasoning - The factors that determine what you're asking are numerous and I don't think that it is that simple, to bang a "over-sensitive" stamp on the entire LGBT community.
I don't think he was saying the entire LGBT community. I do feel that plenty of people are over-sensitive, though. I was on my university's LGBT committee for a couple of years, and in many meetings my viewpoint on something was "get a grip". For too many people it seemed like LGBT was some sort of crusade to right wrongs that weren't even wrong, really.
From my point of view, there seemed to be quite a large correlation between this and social ability. LGBT members who made friends easily, went out and did stuff etc. would look at things like I did, and the socially awkward members were the ones with the crusade mentality.
On December 06 2011 00:35 XeliN wrote: Brachester think to yourself for a minute about the idea that straight people dont feel the need to be public with their sexuality in the same way that it makes you uncomfortable when some gays do it.
How common is it for guys to say "id so x her" "man look at that ass..." etc. etc. openly, publically, and acceptedly. You probably think nothing of it, probably dont even register it because you dont regard is as being "open about their heterosexuality". You regard it as "normal" and as such it doesnt register.
The fact is people are open publically with their sexuality all the time, the only reason you single one group out and delude yourself into thinking they are unique in feeling the need to, and the way they express it, is because you've already decided you don't like it, that it is not normal, and should be kept hidden in a tiny little box labelled "abandon hope all ye who enter here".
Now don't misunderstand me I personally find overt flamboyancy, and things like feigned lisps that seem to somehow become personality traits with some gays really irritating. But I wouldn't view it as much an expression of their sexuality, more their personality, although thinking about it the two are inextricably linked so distinguishing might be abit moot...
Main point is though, don't kid yourself into thinking that gay people are more public, open, in your face, pushy, invading with their sexuality becase the opposite is true. And the only reason it may seem that way is because its not socially accepted, so when it does occur it very much stands out as "not normal".
actually you're maybe right, i'll be taking notes of what people say from now on and see if it's true. But it doesn't work for me though, i can be sure of it. I never feels comfortable talking about stuff related to sex/gender, it just feels so out of place. Maybe because i grown up in an asian culture? Most of my asian (true asian and they're straight) friends i can surely remember doesn't say those stuff as well.
Maybe you just hang out with the wrong friends. I went out with a bunch of Japanese guys for the end of year party, and was typing on my tablet. One guy goes, "man that is cool", and the next three questions were "can you watch porn on that thing", "where can you watch porn on that thing", and "can you zoom in on a picture of my junk". These guys were straight mind you.
I think your friends understand technology better than anyone I've ever met.
EPT
besides Vince, he lives down the passage from me in my hostel, but he works during my off hours and so we only ever get a chance t spend time with each other when we're bathing in separate stalls and he is asking me to describe my boyfriend 
