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Awesome Starcraft Jokes - Page 14

Forum Index > SC2 General
Post a Reply
Prev 1 12 13 14 15 16 33 Next All
Steveling
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Greece10806 Posts
August 06 2011 17:08 GMT
#261
On August 07 2011 01:43 Avril_Lavigne wrote:
A hydralisk walks into a bar.....

still walking....


still walkingg.....




almosttttttt thereeeeeeeee


That's a good one but you should use queen instead of hydra,xP.
My dick has shrunk to the point where it looks like I have 3 balls.
warblob004
Profile Joined January 2011
United States198 Posts
August 06 2011 17:29 GMT
#262
On August 06 2011 16:41 beamer159 wrote:
Sometimes in game, I like to say something witty prior to revealing a unit I teched to:

Blink Stalker + Show Spoiler +
You'll be hurting in the blink of an eye!

Colossus + Show Spoiler +
You're in for a colossal defeat!

High Templar + Show Spoiler +
High. Bye. Now you Die!

Archon + Show Spoiler +
You're hopes of victory archon now!

Dark Templar + Show Spoiler +
Did my build leave you in the dark?

Void Ray + Show Spoiler +
No rays of hope for you this game!

Phoenixes + Show Spoiler +
...Phoenixes

Carrier + Show Spoiler +
You're a carrier of wins. I think I'll take one of them now!

Mothership + Show Spoiler +
Yo mamma didn't see this coming!



OOOOOOOOOOh
The zealots walking into a bar and dragoon walking around it were absolutely golden as well
"I have not failed; I've simply found 10,000 ways it won't work." ~Thomas Edison
Jhohok
Profile Joined December 2010
United States71 Posts
August 07 2011 10:03 GMT
#263
Yo momma's so stupid she thought idra was a special type of crack cocaine.

Why are zerglings so fast?
+ Show Spoiler +
Because yo momma's ugly ass showed up


Why did the Terrans invent stimpack?
+ Show Spoiler +
In case yo momma shows up.


Why did the Protoss bring the mothership back from the corners of the galaxy?
+ Show Spoiler +
As a last resort to get away from yo momma
PopcornColonel
Profile Joined March 2011
United States769 Posts
August 08 2011 23:28 GMT
#264
Why are gamer girls good at Terran?
+ Show Spoiler +
Because they have nice rax.
Zerg delenda est.
DyEnasTy
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3721 Posts
August 08 2011 23:33 GMT
#265
On August 06 2011 23:06 Brutus wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 06 2011 23:03 Slakter wrote:
On August 06 2011 21:28 BigBeeff wrote:
Be warned in advance these jokes a crude and about as funny as rape when your the one its happening to.

"she Fungaled my Rines" (ejaculating into a chick with clamidia)

"I'd like to nytus your main" ( Husky's pick up line)

"Koreans are IMBA!"

"DT's are space niggers"


Not only are these offensive, they are also fucking terribly formed jokes with no punchline! Good job!


I dont get them either...Why are DTs space niggers? Koreans are imba, wow so funny. The first two I don't even know what you are trying to say.



I get the first too. The last two have no punch line.
Much better to die an awesome Terran than to live as a magic wielding fairy or a mindless sac of biological goop. -Manifesto7
DyEnasTy
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3721 Posts
August 08 2011 23:35 GMT
#266
On August 07 2011 19:03 Jhohok wrote:
Yo momma's so stupid she thought idra was a special type of crack cocaine.

Why are zerglings so fast?
+ Show Spoiler +
Because yo momma's ugly ass showed up


Why did the Terrans invent stimpack?
+ Show Spoiler +
In case yo momma shows up.


Why did the Protoss bring the mothership back from the corners of the galaxy?
+ Show Spoiler +
As a last resort to get away from yo momma



Dude.......... 3 momma jokes?


Much better to die an awesome Terran than to live as a magic wielding fairy or a mindless sac of biological goop. -Manifesto7
CeriseCherries
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
6170 Posts
August 08 2011 23:36 GMT
#267
On July 24 2011 11:43 SnowK wrote:
A zealot walks into a red light district and screams
+ Show Spoiler +
MY WIFE FOR HIRE!



This one made me giggle a bit. -.- Im all out of bad puns tho.
Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
tsukiumi
Profile Joined May 2011
United States43 Posts
August 08 2011 23:39 GMT
#268
Things not to say during sex.."I'm about to saturate your base!"
crms
Profile Joined February 2010
United States11933 Posts
August 08 2011 23:43 GMT
#269
On August 09 2011 08:28 PopcornColonel wrote:
Why are gamer girls good at Terran?
+ Show Spoiler +
Because they have nice rax.

very nice, lol!
http://i.imgur.com/fAUOr2c.png | Fighting games are great
Melty Butter
Profile Joined March 2011
Ireland52 Posts
August 08 2011 23:48 GMT
#270
what do you call a scandinavian who's 6th in line to the throne?

+ Show Spoiler +
a VI king

because vikings are in sc2 so it's relevant
Ass
DoomFox
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada51 Posts
August 09 2011 00:04 GMT
#271
Your momma's so fat that when I tried to build her in StarCraft 2 it said, "We require more mineraaaalsss."
redFF
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States3910 Posts
August 09 2011 00:09 GMT
#272
On August 06 2011 21:28 BigBeeff wrote:
Be warned in advance these jokes a crude and about as funny as rape when your the one its happening to.

"she Fungaled my Rines" (ejaculating into a chick with clamidia)

"I'd like to nytus your main" ( Husky's pick up line)

"Koreans are IMBA!"

"DT's are space niggers"


...
Please stop
bubba18sar
Profile Joined May 2011
United States12 Posts
August 09 2011 00:34 GMT
#273
Yo mommas so fat ....
she doesn't cast storm she casts hurricane
Jacob666
Profile Joined January 2011
United States285 Posts
August 09 2011 00:56 GMT
#274
Infestor Scary Campfire Story.
Not long ago a terran encampment used to be right here. When it was taken down many terran were trapped and killed. They say the ghosts still wander the wood, with their emp's charged...
rawrjaaaaay
Profile Joined March 2011
United States426 Posts
August 09 2011 02:32 GMT
#275
"Why are you attacking my SCVs?"
"They were just mining their own business."

It was just on the Day[9] Daily. It was awesome.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Selendis
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia509 Posts
August 11 2011 12:00 GMT
#276
Major Robert Maloney was driving his car from work one day. As it happens his job was at Area 51 and so his drives to and from work were long and arduous through miles and miles of quiet desert highway.

He was exhuasted from the day;s work and found himself asleep at the wheel. The car veered off the highway onto the rocky desert. He immiediately wokeup and then remedied the situation but found himself with a flat tire.

He stopped the car and proceeded to change the tire, as he did have a spare just in case this sort of thing might happen. Unfortunately his jack was utterly destroyed from the brief bumpy ride. In short he was screwed.

But then suddenly he saw two bright lights coming at him from a distance. And they got closer and closer.

As it turns out, the lights were headlights of a tow truck. He was saved.

Seeing the poor army officer stranded on the side of the road, the tow truck driver stopped and approached the misfortuned military man.

"Thank god you're here! Listen I have a flat, and while I have a spare, my jack is fucked.... I was wondering, if I could borrow a jack if you have one...?"

The driver replied "a hydraulic jack huh? Well you've definitely asked the right guy, why, I don't just have one hydraulic jack. I have Six jacks, Major!"
Probes are sooo OP
Nibbler89
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
884 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-08-11 12:38:06
August 11 2011 12:22 GMT
#277
What did the overlord give the queen when he proposed?
+ Show Spoiler +
A diamond ling

Why did she turn down her last suitor?
+ Show Spoiler +
he only had a platinum broach


Overlord: Can you handle those thors?
Infestor: NP

What did the archon CEO tell his associates after returning from an important meeting
+ Show Spoiler +
The merging is complete!


Why do marines and marauders bring umbrellas with them.
+ Show Spoiler +
they want to be prepared in case of storms


What was the cause of a horrible protoss car crash?
+ Show Spoiler +
there weren't any pylons
TehForce
Profile Joined July 2010
1072 Posts
August 11 2011 12:34 GMT
#278
On July 26 2011 20:50 Sennap wrote:
When I become a progamer I'm gonna name myself Energy. Why you may ask?

+ Show Spoiler +
Well let me tell you. Because E=MC².



Credit to LtOin (from reddit.com/r/starcraft)


this one is pretty good
NesTea <3
HybridZ
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada103 Posts
August 12 2011 03:57 GMT
#279
On July 24 2011 06:39 Aries- wrote:
Why are terrans so bad at poker?
+ Show Spoiler +
They all-in all the time.

My favorite joke lol.
For Char! Written on Iphone
atuor
Profile Joined July 2010
United States83 Posts
August 12 2011 04:21 GMT
#280
Whats the counter to Fungal Growth?
+ Show Spoiler +
Tinactin


What's my hotkey for "GG"?
+ Show Spoiler +
F10+N


How does stim make marines shoot faster?
+ Show Spoiler +
You tell me


Buildings can block a zealot or zergling from attacking.
+ Show Spoiler +
But all terran units can shoot through anything
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