The Zerg: Protoss is soooo imbalanced. The Protoss: Zerg is soooo imbalanced. The Terran: I would like to thank all my friends and family for another GSL win.
two stalkers are walking down the road then one of them sees a zergling the zergling, as well recognizing the stalkers, runs in fear for his life he runs and runs - the poor bastard - not knowing the stalkers are blinking and getting up to him but suddenly the stalkers let go why they did so? because the zergling burrowed hahahahaha
On July 24 2011 01:53 Papillon wrote: two stalkers are walking down the road then one of them sees a zergling the zergling, as well recognizing the stalkers, runs in fear for his life he runs and runs - the poor bastard - not knowing the stalkers are blinking and getting up to him but suddenly the stalkers let go why they did so? because the zergling burrowed hahahahaha
Is this a joke that i just dont get? Or some oddly disguised imba post XD
A counter steps up to a marine and tries to ask for a beer. However, a rabbi trips him and because he was not very stable on his feet he fell over. The counter dies, and sadly his mother can't go to his funeral because she was so fat a defiler couldn't consume her, and thus she was stuck at home, and thus she couldn't make it the funeral. Very sad for all involved.
can someone explain this to me? I really don't get it.
Moon (you know, the korean) once planted some beautifully spread banelings, detonated them when the enemy army was ontop of it and due to dumb luck no terran unit got hit
On July 24 2011 01:43 Jacob666 wrote: The Zerg: Protoss is soooo imbalanced. The Protoss: Zerg is soooo imbalanced. The Terran: I would like to thank all my friends and family for another GSL win.
On July 24 2011 01:43 Jacob666 wrote: The Zerg: Protoss is soooo imbalanced. The Protoss: Zerg is soooo imbalanced. The Terran: I would like to thank all my friends and family for another GSL win.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On July 24 2011 01:43 Jacob666 wrote: The Zerg: Protoss is soooo imbalanced. The Protoss: Zerg is soooo imbalanced. The Terran: I would like to thank all my friends and family for another GSL win. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Come on mate, if you had read the thread you would of been told. Next time, read the whole thread before you post. Chances are, your question had already been answered.
A zealot and a colossus walk into a bar, they sit down and order drinks. The colossus however, with its long and ungainly legs, spills his drink all over the bar. The bartender says gruffly, "Hey watch it pal!" The zealot replies, "Relax dude, its just splash damage."
See what I did there, hahaha isn't that just the worst thing you have ever heard in your entire life? I knew it would be.
A zealot and a colossus walk into a bar, they sit down and order drinks. The colossus however, with its long and ungainly legs, spills his drink all over the bar. The bartender says gruffly, "Hey watch it pal!" The zealot replies, "Relax dude, its just splash damage."
See what I did there, hahaha isn't that just the worst thing you have ever heard in your entire life? I knew it would be.
because in poker you lose when your first all-in fails
I praised the original, but this is also a fantastic knee slapper hahaha. It's good because it's funny and true at the same time. All balance jokes aside, this one is deep.
It's Game 7 of the TSL3 Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center stage. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the TSL3 Finals and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first TSL event we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
A ghost detective was called to investigate a crime . When the ghost reached the crime scene, the ghost saw the body in pieces on the ground motionless with small tracks leading from the body and burning ground around as well. The ghost called the crime a
Protoss Commander (To two DTs): You have to go and save the Aiur! Dts: But its a suicide mission Protoss Commander: Just go! A minute later. Dark Archon: (To Protoss Commander) You have to go and save Aiur! Protos Commander: My life for Aiur!
A marine, medivac, and scv are all walking along a selected path together. When they come to a stop, the marine asks for a lift from medivac, and scv being the awkward one yells triumphantly "in the rear with the gear". SInce marine always adored medivac, he blushed and medivac, being the snobby child, states "Oh suck it up, you act like you got both arms blown off."
A inspector is inspecting a factory. He realises that one machine is missing. So he asks a employee: "Where is the machine?" The employee answers: "He is practicing with someone"
A inspector is inspecting a factory. He sees that several wires are cut. The inspector angrily shouts to the workers: "WHO IS IN CONTROL?" They all answer: "A Protoss player" The inspector is confused and asks, "Where is he?" "He is practicing with machine."
two colossus were mowing down a group of marines. one of them turns to the other and says, "HA! He forgot the Vikings." the other one turns suddenly and screams, "OMG A TALKING COLOSSUS!!!"
I like to fast-expand when I see a nice 2 rax build. And if she doesn't let me up her ramp I'll just harass her. If she does though I will take it to a 40 min long macro game and I won't GG prematurly.
Everybody knows this one: Why did idrA join the Evil Geniuses team? + Show Spoiler +
Because he wanted two important letters to spell "I RAGED".
The reason MMA went back to the U.S. was because + Show Spoiler +
he was afraid of marauders.
Who won this season's Code A tournament? I don't know... it's + Show Spoiler +
puzzling.
MarineKing went to an R.Kelly concert and went home furious, because R.Kelly decided to end his concert with the song + Show Spoiler +
Be my 2.
Optimus Prime lost to Bomber, simply because, at the last minute he decided to + Show Spoiler +
make his tanks and vikings transform.
Coach Lee spoke out recently regarding TSL losing a Gentleman. It turns out, PuMa was bribed with + Show Spoiler +
skin care therapy.
A drunk siege tank operator ran into Kerrigan in a liquor store one night. Locals called the police when they heard someone repeatedly scream + Show Spoiler +
On July 26 2011 02:23 Capped wrote: Idra / Momma jokes are literally terribad. omg. Idra ones are feasable but the momma jokes, people need to get themselves out of primary school :D
A hellion roasts a group of drones, the queen retorts
On July 26 2011 02:23 Capped wrote: Idra / Momma jokes are literally terribad. omg. Idra ones are feasable but the momma jokes, people need to get themselves out of primary school :D
A hellion roasts a group of drones, the queen retorts
On July 26 2011 02:23 Capped wrote: Idra / Momma jokes are literally terribad. omg. Idra ones are feasable but the momma jokes, people need to get themselves out of primary school :D
A hellion roasts a group of drones, the queen retorts
Bored at work so here are some NASAmoose originals:
They made an Extreme Makeover T.V. show for the Protoss citizens of Aiur, and they called it + Show Spoiler +
Nip / HuK
TRIVIA: A few days before the conclusion of World War 2, Adolf Hitler committed suicide. Representing the USA, what did IdrA have to say about it? + Show Spoiler +
On July 24 2011 12:05 SidianTheBard wrote: It's Game 7 of the TSL3 Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center stage. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the TSL3 Finals and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first TSL event we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
OMFG, THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD!!!
Can someone explain the dragoon walks around a bar one? Is it implying that the dragoon is stupid?
On July 24 2011 12:05 SidianTheBard wrote: It's Game 7 of the TSL3 Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center stage. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the TSL3 Finals and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first TSL event we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
OMFG, THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD!!!
Can someone explain the dragoon walks around a bar one? Is it implying that the dragoon is stupid?
No, it's implying that dragoons love the ground so much, so they need to message it every 3 seconds, ignoring any logic and your order :3 + Show Spoiler +
Nah, the joke just plays on idiotic dragoon pathing
Also, I kinda stole the joke from the anti joke thread. I'm not that good in making jokes
"yo momma so fat when a defiler consume her he died on high cholesterol." "yo momma so fat even boxer cant micro her" "Yo momma so fat blizzard had to raise the supply limit from 200 to 400 hundred to make her buildable." "Yo momma so ugly that Ultralisks learned to burrow to hide form her" http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=38009
Lol awesome thread, some real gems in here, wish I could contribute but I have no SC jokes that haven't been written. Keep it up guys some great ones in here!
its not even remotely funny, but if you are having to explain your jokes.... (your not being funny) and im pretty sure there is no place for the n-word on tl
Infestor Scary Campfire Story. Not long ago a terran encampment used to be right here. When it was taken down many terran were trapped and killed. They say the ghosts still wander the wood, with their emp's charged...
Major Robert Maloney was driving his car from work one day. As it happens his job was at Area 51 and so his drives to and from work were long and arduous through miles and miles of quiet desert highway.
He was exhuasted from the day;s work and found himself asleep at the wheel. The car veered off the highway onto the rocky desert. He immiediately wokeup and then remedied the situation but found himself with a flat tire.
He stopped the car and proceeded to change the tire, as he did have a spare just in case this sort of thing might happen. Unfortunately his jack was utterly destroyed from the brief bumpy ride. In short he was screwed.
But then suddenly he saw two bright lights coming at him from a distance. And they got closer and closer.
As it turns out, the lights were headlights of a tow truck. He was saved.
Seeing the poor army officer stranded on the side of the road, the tow truck driver stopped and approached the misfortuned military man.
"Thank god you're here! Listen I have a flat, and while I have a spare, my jack is fucked.... I was wondering, if I could borrow a jack if you have one...?"
The driver replied "a hydraulic jack huh? Well you've definitely asked the right guy, why, I don't just have one hydraulic jack. I have Six jacks, Major!"
Guy: Hey, are you a DTF girl? Girl: *SLAP* What kind of girl do you think I am? How dare you! Guy: Whaaaat? I just wanted to know if you were a Dark Templar Fan....
On November 05 2011 10:23 KleineGeist wrote: Why were the Japanese never any good at SC2? - Hide Spoiler - For some reason they weren't too good at hearing the "Nuclear Launch Detected" alert.
too soon.
Its not that its too soon. Its more that its not funny at all.
Am I the only one who thought that one of the funniest joke in this thread is at the end of the Tastosis vid? "Choya advances to round of 16" LOLOLOL ahh past GSL you make me laugh
Who would win in a tournament between Tyler, Incontrol and Jinro? + Show Spoiler +
Jinro because Tyler gets depressed and doesn't come, Incontrol is checking his cholesterol levels and can't attend.
You know... I am risking a warning or ban... but seriously man, that last joke is some bullshit, slumps are one thing, but seriously laughing at the fact Tyler has depression? You're an asshole.
StarCraft related malapropisms (because I'm literally sick of all the balance whining):
1. You got a job that pays super well, but you have to work really long hours? Well... I guess every rose has its thor. 2. Yes! I totally agree! I know exactly what you marine! 3. I hate you so much. You are the baneling of my existence. 4. It's a g-g-g-g-ghost! I'm terranfied! <-- more of a pun 5. Where you alive during Y2K? You know... the turn of the sentry?
On November 22 2011 10:57 mbr2321 wrote: StarCraft related malapropisms (because I'm literally sick of all the balance whining):
1. You got a job that pays super well, but you have to work really long hours? Well... I guess every rose has its thor. 2. Yes! I totally agree! I know exactly what you marine! 3. I hate you so much. You are the baneling of my existence. 4. It's a g-g-g-g-ghost! I'm terranfied! <-- more of a pun 5. Where you alive during Y2K? You know... the turn of the sentry?
You cant say "more of a pun" when they are ALL puns.
Just finished reading though the thread I cant believe i haven't see this before... The thread has its up and downs but I had some good laughs. I love the idra ones and some of the marine jokes. I will work on some jokes although im not too good at this kind of stuff.
On November 23 2011 20:37 wizzybel wrote: not really a joke but i'm planning to buy the new sc2 expansion for my boyfriend, then i'll tell him "i've got the HotS for you"
On January 17 2012 13:27 Sorathez wrote: A Marine walks in to a bar and says: "Bartender! Where's the counter?" The bartender turns around and says: "Outside in the storm."
On January 17 2012 13:27 Sorathez wrote: A Marine walks in to a bar and says: "Bartender! Where's the counter?" The bartender turns around and says: "Outside in the storm."
A scouting SCV has just arrived back at headquarters to report about an incoming attack. After the scv gives details of the attacking forces the commander decides that using Battle Hellions would be the best course of action.
On August 09 2011 08:39 tsukiumi wrote: Things not to say during sex.."I'm about to saturate your base!"
There are too many sexual innuendos possible with Starcraft 2. Needless to say they involve things like injecting larve and nydus canals. Not forgetting "In the rear with the gear" of course
On August 09 2011 08:39 tsukiumi wrote: Things not to say during sex.."I'm about to saturate your base!"
There are too many sexual innuendos possible with Starcraft 2. Needless to say they involve things like injecting larve and nydus canals. Not forgetting "In the rear with the gear" of course
On August 09 2011 08:39 tsukiumi wrote: Things not to say during sex.."I'm about to saturate your base!"
There are too many sexual innuendos possible with Starcraft 2. Needless to say they involve things like injecting larve and nydus canals. Not forgetting "In the rear with the gear" of course
edit: superfluous apostrophe!
I'll stim your marine.
I'm planting my spine crawler in your spawning pool.
sorry if already posted, but reading through 20 pages to post a so-so joke about a really good SC2 pro isnt worth it.
Exactly. TL;DR, hope none posted it, but I like this one:
Yo Mommaship's so fat, she won't fit it the expansion!
Edit: axzion beat me to it. Oh, well. I think this was said by a Blizzard balance-designer-worker-guy (sry, what are they called?) during some event. Don't remember when it was.
One stalker walks up to another and says "dude what's with your eyes you've been staring for sooo long" The other stalker responds "I haven't researched blink yet 0_0"
On January 18 2012 01:20 Luftwaffle wrote: One stalker walks up to another and says "dude what's with your eyes you've been staring for sooo long" The other stalker responds "I haven't researched blink yet 0_0"
Young Overlord takes his first trip around hive cluster. He spots Mutalisk: - Oh, you can fly - just like me! He spots Observer: - Oh, you can see invisible things - just like me! Suddenly, he spots some strange creature hiding behind tree. - Oh, you can spread creep - just like me! Marine replies: - #$%!, can't a man take a s**t in peace?!
Im sorry for off topic but has anyone remember when Artosis casted a game in MLG with some Blizzard guy? (dont remember th name). Could someone tell which MLG it was/where are vods etc.? I remember one joke from that blizzard guy:
"Your momma is so big, we couldnt fit her in the expansion" (or smth like that xd)
On January 18 2012 02:21 Indolent wrote: First post, welcome everybody
Young Overlord takes his first trip around hive cluster. He spots Mutalisk: - Oh, you can fly - just like me! He spots Observer: - Oh, you can see invisible things - just like me! Suddenly, he spots some strange creature hiding behind tree. - Oh, you can spread creep - just like me! Marine replies: - #$%!, can't a man take a s**t in peace?!
On January 18 2012 06:11 Taktik wrote: Im sorry for off topic but has anyone remember when Artosis casted a game in MLG with some Blizzard guy? (dont remember th name). Could someone tell which MLG it was/where are vods etc.? I remember one joke from that blizzard guy:
"Your momma is so big, we couldnt fit her in the expansion" (or smth like that xd)
I posted that like five post above... But yea thx, it was at MLG. They had a few good ones there, though that might have been the best one.
Here's some yo mama jokes I made up. Inspired by Day[9] <3
Yo mama so fat, she produces more gas than a rich vespene geyser! Yo mama so fat, when she sits on the ramp, she acts like a forcefield! Yo mama so fat, she takes up ALL the control groups! Yo mama so fat, she has her own fungal growth Yo mama so fat, it takes more than one scan to reveal her. Yo mama so fat, it's impossible to get a zerg surround! Yo mama so ugly, she turns zealots to stone!
On March 06 2012 00:17 Maddogs wrote: Here's some yo mama jokes I made up. Inspired by Day[9] <3
Yo mama so fat, she produces more gas than a rich vespene geyser! Yo mama so fat, when she sits on the ramp, she acts like a forcefield! Yo mama so fat, she takes up ALL the control groups! Yo mama so fat, she has her own fungal growth Yo mama so fat, it takes more than one scan to reveal her. Yo mama so fat, it's impossible to get a zerg surround! Yo mama so ugly, she turns zealots to stone!
Opinions?
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need to research chitinous carapace Yo mama so fat, she doesn't fit into a vortex Yo mama so fat, you can't blink behind her Yo mama so fat, she can wrestle Odin and win
Your momma ship is so fat, we couldn't fit her into expansion.
Best I've heard. It was brilliantly situational too, coming from Blizzard employee who was casting in MLG Providence and was constantly picked upon for Blizzard's "wrong-doings".
On March 06 2012 00:17 Maddogs wrote: Here's some yo mama jokes I made up. Inspired by Day[9] <3
Yo mama so fat, she produces more gas than a rich vespene geyser! Yo mama so fat, when she sits on the ramp, she acts like a forcefield! Yo mama so fat, she takes up ALL the control groups! Yo mama so fat, she has her own fungal growth Yo mama so fat, it takes more than one scan to reveal her. Yo mama so fat, it's impossible to get a zerg surround! Yo mama so ugly, she turns zealots to stone!
Opinions?
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need to research chitinous carapace Yo mama so fat, she doesn't fit into a vortex Yo mama so fat, you can't blink behind her Yo mama so fat, she can wrestle Odin and win
Hm... remember the following joke from either bitter or some caster from blizzard, maybe rob?
On August 11 2011 21:00 Selendis wrote: Major Robert Maloney was driving his car from work one day. As it happens his job was at Area 51 and so his drives to and from work were long and arduous through miles and miles of quiet desert highway.
He was exhuasted from the day;s work and found himself asleep at the wheel. The car veered off the highway onto the rocky desert. He immiediately wokeup and then remedied the situation but found himself with a flat tire.
He stopped the car and proceeded to change the tire, as he did have a spare just in case this sort of thing might happen. Unfortunately his jack was utterly destroyed from the brief bumpy ride. In short he was screwed.
But then suddenly he saw two bright lights coming at him from a distance. And they got closer and closer.
As it turns out, the lights were headlights of a tow truck. He was saved.
Seeing the poor army officer stranded on the side of the road, the tow truck driver stopped and approached the misfortuned military man.
"Thank god you're here! Listen I have a flat, and while I have a spare, my jack is fucked.... I was wondering, if I could borrow a jack if you have one...?"
The driver replied "a hydraulic jack huh? Well you've definitely asked the right guy, why, I don't just have one hydraulic jack. I have Six jacks, Major!"
Thread should have ended there, haha that was great man, so obtuse!
On July 24 2011 12:05 SidianTheBard wrote: It's Game 7 of the TSL3 Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center stage. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the TSL3 Finals and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first TSL event we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
This one by far takes the cake for me lol, sooo goodd!!! : )
"Last Christmas, I asked my opponent “it’s Christmas and you’re playing games at home?” and gave the game away by leaving after saying “Christmas present for you”. Now, I look back and realise we were both in the same situation so what the hell was I doing? "
That doesn't qualify as a joke. I'm just disgusted by his dismal attempt at humor.
i would say it does. its dark.. close to pitch black, but still a joke
achmed the dead terrorist thing of jeff dunham also have alot of dark shit in it.. still funny in its own way
"i would not kill the jews.. nooooo... i would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death!... i'd to the same with catholic priests but i'd toss in a small boy.. and the winner must face michael jackson!
you also have the "glass of juice, not gas the jews"
and then you have robim williams: "I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, "Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?" And I said, "Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?""
it might not be that funny for you.. but then again its hard to please everyone
That jewish joke was hilarious and its not offensive because it only draws from an accurate well documented piece of history and says nothing negative about that ethnicity.
On April 25 2012 07:12 Natheel13 wrote: Man people are saying MKP is one of the best terran players right now. I guess you can say he's terran up the competition
How does MKP win from an completely unwinnable position?
An SCV Operator has gotten 10 minerals for his work and walks into a bar. "One beer please!" - he ordered; "3 minerals" said the bartender, SVC Op. paid and wanna start drinking. Then someone runs into the bar and screams: "Everyone, run! Tychus Findlay is coming here!" - so everyone along with SCV Op. left the place. In the next bar, same situation, SCV Op. paid 3 minerals for a beer (only 4 left now), started to drink, and again someone runs into the bar and screams "Tychus Findlay is coming!! - and everyone again left the place. In the last bar, SCV Op. paid again 3 minerals for a beer (only 1 left now, not enough for another), and he says to himself - "Damn it, I'm drinking my beer, I NEED one after the job, what could Tychus Findlay do to me anyway?" and starts drinking right away. As in the previous places, same situation occurs, someone runs into the bar and scream: "RUN! Tychus Findlay is coming!!". So everyone left again, but SCV Op. stays in the bar and drinks his beer. Suddenly, door to the bar was blown away, biggest and most badass marine walks into a bar, points a finger at scared SCV Op. and says "You there! You doin' me good riiiggghtt nnooowww..." and opens up his armor suit "you-know-where". So poor SCV Op. scared for his live, thinks "what the hell, no one will see me right now, and this guy obviously gonna kill me if I don't do what he says". So he start doing the marine good, but marine speaks only "Faster, faster! Come on, faster! Faster!!" SCV Op. says then: "Come on! What's your problem? I'm doing what you want, so why this 'Faster, faster' stuff?"
And then marine replies: "Shut up! Faster! Tychus Findlay is coming here!!" :D :D :D
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
But the first guy DID offend Japanese, just because they are not Americans, doesn't mean it's not offensive
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
But the first guy DID offend Japanese, just because they are not Americans, doesn't mean it's not offensive
Here we go again. Lets not turn this into a racist thread its all about JOKES its ment to be funny not harmfull and this is not the kind of thread to discuss certain things in. Its comedy
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack
how is that an argument? are terrorist attacks worse than killing someone in a war? i dont get it
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack
how is that an argument? are terrorist attacks worse than killing someone in a war? i dont get it
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
wait what? so the nuclear bomb wasn't a terrorist attack from the US? xDDDDDDDD haha nice that you actually learn history in your country.... to drop a nuclear bomb to kill civilians isn't a terrorist attack? Kkthxbye
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack
how is that an argument? are terrorist attacks worse than killing someone in a war? i dont get it
He made one of the funniest jokes and gets banned because it's against america. I'm starting to lose faith in the teamliquid staff, and teamliquid as a whole.
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
wait what? so the nuclear bomb wasn't a terrorist attack from the US? xDDDDDDDD haha nice that you actually learn history in your country.... to drop a nuclear bomb to kill civilians isn't a terrorist attack? Kkthxbye
Exactly, even under the United States' own definition of terrorism by the CIA / FBI, terrorism is: "the unlawful use of force and violence against persons or property to intimidate or coerce a government, the civilian population, or any segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives".
If you use this definition the United States and its major allies, namely Israel concurrently, are the biggest perpetuaters of terrorism in the world, and the US has been since the 1920s with direct campaigns in Haiti, Colombia, Honduras (which even the United States and its major allies along with complete international consensus agree was a terrorist war conducted by Reagan, and the only instance of a country that has still refused to accept world court decisions) , Chile, and indirectly funded, allowed, financially backed, or provided the conditions for terrorism in hundreds of other countries including East Timor, Cambodia, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Libya, Mexico, and countless other countries (essentially any country where the majority population isn't Caucasian / Scandinavian, and you can even provide examples against that, for example the IRA in northern Ireland which comprised of American IRB splinter groups, endorsement of conflict in Georgian / Balkans areas, etc). The atomic bomb that was dropped is also absolutely an act of terrorism because it was used to coerce and intimidate the Japanese people and its government into surrendering by bombing civilian cities with that specific intention, when the Japanese were prepared to defend their own homeland against American military invasion.
Pearl Harbour is just an awful example. Are the same justices done for the millions of innocent cambodian civilians who died in secret bombings by the United States during the Vietnam war even though America was never officially at war with Cambodia?
I won't even bring up the eight-nation alliance and opium wars with China and the systematic raping and pillaging of the land because I assume it's not in western history books.
Edit: I might as well add in a joke to get us back on topic, couldn't think of a clever SC2 one but here's my politically incorrect humour.
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack
how is that an argument? are terrorist attacks worse than killing someone in a war? i dont get it
He made one of the funniest jokes and gets banned because it's against america. I'm starting to lose faith in the teamliquid staff, and teamliquid as a whole.
Lol @ you if you think tl is some kind of a democracy.
Is this bullshit discussion of morality apropos to 9/11 and Hiroshima/Nagasaki really happening? Do people understand that 9/11 was intrinsically a sensless act of maliciousness, while the atomic strikes on Japan were not intrisically malicious, and were an attempt to save countless more American AND Japanese lives?
I'll add a joke too:
How are banelings charging at a PF and blackjack similar?
You need more than 21 to bust.
EDIT: Reading some of these posts about it again, I'm finding some of the idiocy amazingly staggering.
On May 06 2012 19:35 An2quamaraN wrote: Show nested quote +
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
wait what? so the nuclear bomb wasn't a terrorist attack from the US? xDDDDDDDD haha nice that you actually learn history in your country.... to drop a nuclear bomb to kill civilians isn't a terrorist attack? Kkthxbye
No, it wasn't technically a terrorist attack it was an act of war. That's all I have to say.
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
wait what? so the nuclear bomb wasn't a terrorist attack from the US? xDDDDDDDD haha nice that you actually learn history in your country.... to drop a nuclear bomb to kill civilians isn't a terrorist attack? Kkthxbye
No it wasnt a terrorist attack you imbecile. It was an act of war. Imagine how many americans and Japanese wouldve died had there been a fight on the japanese mainland (more than the number of people who died in the atomic bomb droppings.) Blame Japan for attacking Pearl Harbor in the first place, thats what made us enter the war. Obviously your country is the one that doesnt teach history.
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack
how is that an argument? are terrorist attacks worse than killing someone in a war? i dont get it
Because american players always fail to stop air units.
User was temp banned for this post.
WTH, why was he banned and the guy that made a joke about something that killed 22 times more and left 19000 people slowly dying with cancer wasnt?
I just don't get it. When they made joke about Japanese that was OK, and when someone made similar joke about Americans he gets instant ban? And as it was already mentioned: Nuke was far more brutal...
Firstly, 9/11 was a terrorist attack and secondly, the way the guy made that "joke". It was an agressive response, which aim was to offend him and americans. The first guy just made a joke, didn't mean to offend anybody. See the difference?
Edit: If You think bans are handled based on the amount of people killed...lol
wait what? so the nuclear bomb wasn't a terrorist attack from the US? xDDDDDDDD haha nice that you actually learn history in your country.... to drop a nuclear bomb to kill civilians isn't a terrorist attack? Kkthxbye
No it wasnt a terrorist attack you imbecile. It was an act of war. Imagine how many americans and Japanese wouldve died had there been a fight on the japanese mainland (more than the number of people who died in the atomic bomb droppings.) Blame Japan for attacking Pearl Harbor in the first place, thats what made us enter the war. Obviously your country is the one that doesnt teach history.
I don't get how this is a starcraft joke go pm each other and stop wasting this funny thread space ;(
On January 17 2012 04:24 TNK wrote: So a zealot walks into a strip club and says + Show Spoiler +
MY WIFE FOR HIRE!
haha epic!
Even as an American, I gotta say, the 9/11 joke was hilarious as well. They say laughter is the best medicine, and being able to laugh a little about tragedy and such things is sometimes one of the only ways to get by and keep our sanity. Being doomed to grief forever is no fun for anyone.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On July 24 2011 01:43 Jacob666 wrote: The Zerg: Protoss is soooo imbalanced. The Protoss: Zerg is soooo imbalanced. The Terran: I would like to thank all my friends and family for another GSL win. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own
This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread.
Here are some to start us off
1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking
2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast
3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD
4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!!
5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies
6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser
7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.)
8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO
9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-
10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran
11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed
12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ
13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI-
14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O
15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk
16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"
17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy
18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal
19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars
20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling....
21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots
22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield
23.ultralisks? more like minilisks
24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building
25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy"
26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.
27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high
28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!
29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!
30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs
31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless
32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost had*
33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack
34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you
35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions
36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine! and drops a mule
37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here?
38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!"
39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it? stalker
40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot?
41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say? Care to give me a lift?
42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter
43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there 44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.
45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius
46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!
47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?
48.A collosus walks into a bar.
49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.
50. What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard? marines on stim
51. Why did the mother ship vortex all of the protoss units? It didn't recall
52. What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed? the "creep" highway!
53. whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!
54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!
55. A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his
On June 25 2012 16:41 clazerxsniper wrote: Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own
factory recall
lmao, finally something good comes out of this thread
On June 25 2012 16:41 clazerxsniper wrote: Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own. This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread. [..] Here are some to start us off
On June 25 2012 16:41 clazerxsniper wrote: Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own
This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread.
Here are some to start us off
1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking
2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast
3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD
4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!!
5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies
6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser
7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.)
8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO
9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-
10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran
11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed
12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ
13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI-
14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O
15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk
16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"
17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy
18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal
19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars
20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling....
21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots
22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield
23.ultralisks? more like minilisks
24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building
25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy"
26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.
27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high
28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!
29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!
30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs
31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless
32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost had*
33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack
34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you
35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions
36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine! and drops a mule
37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here?
38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!"
39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it? stalker
40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot?
41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say? Care to give me a lift?
42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter
43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there 44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.
45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius
46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!
47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?
48.A collosus walks into a bar.
49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.
50. What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard? marines on stim
51. Why did the mother ship vortex all of the protoss units? It didn't recall
52. What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed? the "creep" highway!
53. whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!
54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!
55. A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his
On June 25 2012 16:41 clazerxsniper wrote: Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own
This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread.
Here are some to start us off
1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking
2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast
3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD
4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!!
5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies
6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser
7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.)
8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO
9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-
10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran
11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed
12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ
13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI-
14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O
15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk
16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"
17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy
18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal
19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars
20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling....
21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots
22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield
23.ultralisks? more like minilisks
24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building
25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy"
26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.
27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high
28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!
29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!
30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs
31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless
32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost had*
33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack
34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you
35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions
36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine! and drops a mule
37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here?
38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!"
39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it? stalker
40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot?
41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say? Care to give me a lift?
42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter
43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there 44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.
45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius
46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!
47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?
48.A collosus walks into a bar.
49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.
50. What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard? marines on stim
51. Why did the mother ship vortex all of the protoss units? It didn't recall
52. What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed? the "creep" highway!
53. whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!
54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!
55. A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his
On June 25 2012 16:41 clazerxsniper wrote: Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own
Errr...seems more like a list of "Terran is OP" lines masked as a "joke". The factory recall got a smile but the rest were...yeah. Good try though.
On June 25 2012 16:41 clazerxsniper wrote: Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own
This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread.
Here are some to start us off
1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking
2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast
3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD
4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!!
5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies
6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser
7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.)
8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO
9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-
10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran
11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed
12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ
13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI-
14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O
15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk
16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"
17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy
18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal
19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars
20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling....
21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots
22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield
23.ultralisks? more like minilisks
24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building
25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy"
26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.
27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high
28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!
29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!
30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs
31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless
32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost had*
33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack
34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you
35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions
36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine! and drops a mule
37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here?
38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!"
39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it? stalker
40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot?
41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say? Care to give me a lift?
42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter
43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there 44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.
45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius
46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!
47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?
48.A collosus walks into a bar.
49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.
50. What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard? marines on stim
51. Why did the mother ship vortex all of the protoss units? It didn't recall
52. What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed? the "creep" highway!
53. whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!
54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!
55. A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his
mothership and initiated a
factory recall
LOL SHIT WHAT. THE. FUCK. funny in an unexpected way.
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification. nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.
After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.
Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.
Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost
Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.
Bartender: what do I care?
Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?
Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.
The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!
the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.
the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.
Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?
Bartender nervous now: What about them?
Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification. nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.
After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.
Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.
Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost
Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.
Bartender: what do I care?
Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?
Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.
The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!
the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.
the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.
Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?
Bartender nervous now: What about them?
Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification. nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.
After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.
Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.
Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost
Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.
Bartender: what do I care?
Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?
Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.
The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!
the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.
the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.
Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?
Bartender nervous now: What about them?
Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification. nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.
After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.
Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.
Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost
Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.
Bartender: what do I care?
Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?
Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.
The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!
the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.
the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.
Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?
Bartender nervous now: What about them?
Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!
HA !
Brilliant joke and scene by Tarantino
That is one of the most amazing sc2 jokes ever. I laughed, then paused to compose myself, and then laughed even harder.
A Ghost walks through the Cantina's doors and shows the overseer his identification. nods to the zergling bartender and finds his place at a table with 4 zealots and an observer.
After some drinks and what seems to be a good time, the ghost gets up and approaches the bar.
Ghost: Bartender, I have a wager for you.
Bartender: and what is your wager, ghost
Ghost: my bladder is full and I have the biggest urge to relieve myself at this moment.
Bartender: what do I care?
Ghost: I'll bet you 5000 minerals that I can relieve myself right here on your bar and get it all in this one shot glass. what do you say?
Bartender thinks to himself, this guy is insane: You have youself a wager, Ghost , not even a mighty ghost can do that.
The Ghost whips it out and lets it rip, I mean he sprays it all over the beers bottles, all over the bar, the liquor bottles, even hits the bartender for good measure, he's whizzin on every damn thing in site. in fact he is whizzin on everything but the SHOT GLASS !!
the Zerg bartender is laughing histerically at this point and can't believe he just won 5000 minerals off this drunk ghost: Ghost, you just lost 5000 minerals, pay up you crazy terran.
the Ghost, concentrating as hard as he can, cracks a grin, grabs the zergling by the neck and points at the zealots seated at the table watching in anticipation and shock.
Ghost: Do you see those Zealots?
Bartender nervous now: What about them?
Ghost: I just bet each one of them 5000 minerals that I could piss all over you and YOU WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT !!
HA !
Brilliant joke and scene by Tarantino
That is one of the most amazing sc2 jokes ever. I laughed, then paused to compose myself, and then laughed even harder.
it's not an sc2 joke, it's a very old joke just instead of guys he says sc2 units...
it's like if the protagonist of the movie Hangover would be a ghost but the story and everythig else would be the same, and someone would try to sell that as a "sc2 comedy". no originality and no real sc2 connection.
Most of these are from the other thread a long while back, some i have heard/made with my friends over the years, and many still lost/lost in translation. Expect repeats/re-wording, but i'll try to share all the ones i know and can come up with. >;D
yo momma so fat, corruptors do bonus damage against her!
yo momma so fat, she takes all 3 bounce attacks from a muta.
yo momma so fat she got on a dropship and it crashed.
YO MOMMA sooooo fat blizzard had to add another armor class; now there's light, armored, massive, and YO MOMMA.
yo momma so fat her siege mode takes half the game to research, and it's actually just her sitting.
yo momma so fat that if you want to have her in the game, you need to make an 8 player map.
"yo momma so fat they had to grease the nydus canal and hold a piece of bacon on the other side to get her through."
"yo momma so fat she sat on a creep colony and made a sunken colony." (sc1, lololol)
yo momma so fat, the korean commentators go, "DROPPPUUUUUUUU!!!" every time she takes a step.
yo momma so slow, a queen off creep looks like usain bolt next to her.
"yo momma so fat she thought a probe split was a kind of sundae."
"yo momma so fat protoss gave up trying to warp her in from aiur."
yo momma so fat, she had to send a drone scout to see how her toe clipping was going.
yo momma so dumb [dragoon] ai would beat her at chess.
"yo momma so fat she's always on low ground."
"in all honestly though your mother is kind of obese" - vGl-CoW XD
So a doctor meets a patient and injects him with a stim shot. He ask the patient how he feels. And the patient says I feel great like I just had a five hour energy but I also feel a little woozy. The doctor tells the patient the effects will wear off soon and his health should return to normal but he must see the medic on the way out.
Well a day later the patient comes back in and the doctor asks why has he returned. The patient tells the doctor he went on a date to the movies after he left the office and about halfway through he couldn't stop screaming. His date quickly ran out the theater. The doctor insisted on giving him another stim and told him to see the medic on the way out.
So another day passes and the patient returns. This time he tells the doctor he went on a date to play miniature golf and about halfway through he started dancing and flailing his arms and that he couldn't stop. Scenery was thrown everywhere and his date quickly ran from the course. The doctor a third time insists that he stim and see a medic on the way out.
Well the patient returns again the following day and he looks horribly sluggish. His face is pale, he's moving slow. The doctor looks really concerned and asks what happened. The patient said he had gone on another date to go fishing. He said about halfway through he tore off all his clothes uncontrollably and started swimming circles in the fishing pond. His date got spooked and quickly ran from the pond.
The doctor does some inspecting and says I can't administer stims anymore and your vitals are low. Have you been seeing the medic on the way out? The patient looks at him and says, "you keep talking about this medic, what the hell are you talking about?" And the doctor's eyes go wide and he starts laughing. The patient asks the doctor why he is laughing so hard and the doctor replies, "I forgot this was Starcraft 2!"
On July 19 2013 02:00 nanaoei wrote: Most of these are from the other thread a long while back, some i have heard/made with my friends over the years, and many still lost/lost in translation. Expect repeats/re-wording, but i'll try to share all the ones i know and can come up with. >;D
yo momma so fat, corruptors do bonus damage against her!
yo momma so fat, she takes all 3 bounce attacks from a muta.
yo momma so fat she got on a dropship and it crashed.
YO MOMMA sooooo fat blizzard had to add another armor class; now there's light, armored, massive, and YO MOMMA.
yo momma so fat her siege mode takes half the game to research, and it's actually just her sitting.
yo momma so fat that if you want to have her in the game, you need to make an 8 player map.
"yo momma so fat they had to grease the nydus canal and hold a piece of bacon on the other side to get her through."
"yo momma so fat she sat on a creep colony and made a sunken colony." (sc1, lololol)
yo momma so fat, the korean commentators go, "DROPPPUUUUUUUU!!!" every time she takes a step.
yo momma so slow, a queen off creep looks like usain bolt next to her.
"yo momma so fat she thought a probe split was a kind of sundae."
"yo momma so fat protoss gave up trying to warp her in from aiur."
yo momma so fat, she had to send a drone scout to see how her toe clipping was going.
yo momma so dumb [dragoon] ai would beat her at chess.
"yo momma so fat she's always on low ground."
"in all honestly though your mother is kind of obese" - vGl-CoW XD
happy starcrafting~
Sorry, but these jokes are really kinda terrible. :\
A Ghost went to an audition featuring the play Hamlet. He would be "The Ghost," the father of Hamlet. When he had done his performance, the judges sent him outside. They thought the audition was marvellous, but when they went out to get him, he was gone. Why is this?
EPT
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