Pastor QH with the future MVP
Gather 'round hockey nerdz, the NHL season has started
Last year, the Blues made one of the most improbably runs in any sport, going from the cellar in January to winning the Cup, primarily on the back of the greasy ass, 200-foot-playin', fueled by chaw and cheap beer man rocket on the right of this photo
The only thing more Canadian than this image would be drunkenly crashing your pick up truck through a Timmy Horton's
The new season is shaping up to be one of the more interesting ones yet, with lots of interesting plot lines.
* The Blues quest to repeat was majorly boosted by the acquisition and then long term extension of The Good Justin Faulk, who is one of the better offensive defensemen in the league. Even though the Canes seem to be on the upswing, they just weren't going to resign him.
* The Rangers and Devils went from likely lotto teams to up and coming playoff hopefuls over the course of an offseason due to lady luck going their way in the draft, and some smart moves in FA and trades. As a result, the Metro is once again looking like a blood bath (except for the Jackets, rip) Your fearless idiot is personally thrilled to have this rivalry be meaningful once again.
* The Jets and Jackets had two of the absolute worst offseasons, managing to lose all of their good talent either via free agency, getting fleeced by the Rangers, or because they decided to drunken boating and eating hot dogs was better than perennial disappointment.
* The Minnesota Wild actually did a smart thing by cutting their idiot GM after one year, after he managed to get fleeced in every single possibly trade or free agency signing. Their savior is Bill Guerin, who has no NHL GM experience, and apparently got his bloated, greasy ass stuck in a tanning bed just before his first meeting with the media
* RFA madness is finally over, after the Mitch Marner domino fell, and everyone behind him got considerably less than what everyone expected. Everyone eagerly awaits the point where the Leafs can only afford their big name players and has a bunch of AHLers in their bottom six and blueline.
* While the rest of the league got better, Ken Holland's big splash was exchanging one lump of shit for another, so that McJesus gets to spend his peak years dragging around the corpse of James Neal rather than Milan Lucic. Granted, it would be hard to make a decent trade when there is so little that other teams want, but Holland has proven to be a shit GM when not given an unlimited budget and several HOFers. A separate thread will be created for a gofundme for Flaccid's liver.
Summary of offseason signings/trades: https://www.nhl.com/news/2019-20-nhl-trades/c-289968698
Awards list: https://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/nhl/2019-nhl-awards-full-list-finalists/