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United States17042 Posts
On January 09 2009 10:06 lilsusie wrote:Show nested quote +On January 08 2009 21:26 intrigue wrote:
it is nice every now and then to fuss over little details about yourself in the mirror and fret about things to say and oh no what if your hand will be sweaty when it reaches for hers or if tonight please god oh please!! is the night you will kiss her. it is nice every now and then to have to wait for her while she takes a shower and an impossibly long time putting on makeup, because you know it's all for you anyway and you're going to be too happy to care about delays as soon as she's bouncing about so beautifully beside you. it is always nice to see someone else's faults as inexplicably cute and quirky in a good way, and having the same done for you. it is nice to have a phone call waiting for you on late nights at work.
for most of us, it's a shame relationships can't stay as these surreal dreams forever. the rules for dating now are (almost absurdly) lax, we simply haven't met the right people, and/or are too young to be able/want to deal with the responsibility and bullshit that is forced upon older couples. i'm not ready for it now and probably won't be for a loooonnnngggggg time, but i really really cannot imagine anything more truly fulfilling than finding the right hand to your left and committing to each other in a final mature relationship.
i am hardly a romantic and this probably sounds super lame, but sometimes i feel as if everything i do to improve myself is to better serve this quite singular purpose. *swoon*
I think that intrigue just won the thread.
I feel like the nature of the relationship changes after a while, depending on what you mean by being serious with another person. If you did it right, the first part of a relationship is exactly how intrigue describes; the magic of waiting for the girl to be ready, the time spent wondering, "what will happen tonight", the little things that she does coming through the door, up the walkway, writing her notes.
If you can manage it, and keep the magic going through your whole life, a great relationship is the difference between someone who is directed, focused, and is, in fact, a better person than someone else who doesn't have the same level of commitment to another person in their life.
However, it can also backfire. If it turns out you haven't found the right person, if you come out of a relationship a little more bitter, a little less happy, a little less willing to share. The next time that you try, it's just a little bit harder to fall back into a pattern with the other person, and I feel like it's just harder to trust again.
commitment, love, trust, passion, life, lust, live. It happens, and sometimes you get to lead it, and other times you just get to hang on and try to experience. But in either case, you won't know until you get there, and you'll love every minute of it (until you hate every minute of it). But if you get a chance, take it, as you might not get another.
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On January 09 2009 10:35 Manifesto7 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 09 2009 10:21 Romance_us wrote:
Less enjoyable. The insecure kids who base their lives off of relationships are fucking hilariously pathetic. You're not adding anything but flames to the conversation. -- Nobody is going to be happy in a relationship until they are ok with themselves. People who get into relationships to 'fix' their lives will just bring their unhealthiness with them. I am not saying you have to be perfect, or that your partner cannot help you, but it shouldn't be the main reason for getting involved with someone. When you are comfortable with yourself, you are then in a position to start giving to someone else, and visas versa. I really think being ni a relationship is a skill. The happiness and length of the relationship often depends on the willingness of both people to tolerate the learning curve and learn from their own mistakes.
that was pretty deep.
i've been in a bunch of relationships, some good, some bad... and in the long run, i'll have to say that happiness and your relationship status are unrelated to one another. As Manifesto said, relationships only work when you're comfortable with yourself... or perhaps can be rephrased as your ability to give in contrast to the need to receive. if you're needy and need to keep receiving, irrespective of whether you're a boy or girl, it's most likely you're using the relationship to fill some hole in your life... but if you, and your partner, are able to give to one another, then good stuff could happen.
-_- this makes me miss my gf
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United States12607 Posts
More enjoyable without a doubt...if not, why are you in one?
Awww...Intrigue, what a charmer.
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I think girls are definitely cute, but i cant stand their personalities and interests.
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this thread depresses me; having never had a gf -_-
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On January 09 2009 11:03 Hazz wrote:
this thread depresses me; having never had a gf -_-
Dont feel bad, women arent anything special. You "think" they are because biology put a little itch in your brain that makes you want one, but without that itch, you wouldnt give a crap. Remember that.
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Women makes the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
But seriously, I think having a woman in your life makes it better overall, and most studies in psychology done have said the same thing.
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On January 08 2009 18:49 MyLostTemple wrote:
it really just depends on weather or not you enjoy sex with multiple partners.
I feel sorry for people who think that way, and I dont mean that in a flaming manner at all.
Once you have experienced true love its hard to fathom one can live without it.
When you found the woman you love you would give everything you have to be with her. Not having sex with other women suddenly is a very small sacrifice compared to what you would be willing to sacrifice for her.
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I was thinking the other day... if money is supposedly the root of all evil, and money is basically power, and power basically equals "you can get any kind of chick you want", then chicks are the root of all evil. Or at least the desire for chicks is the root of all evil.
So that means porno is a sacred evil fighting entity. If you have (new) porno, you dont need chicks. If no one needed chicks then there would be no need for money or power and evil would either cease to exist or be randomly scattered across a mostly peaceful universe.
God Bless Porno
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Recall the old expressions "Time is money" and "Money is the root of all evil", thus
time=money
money=root(evil)
Anyone who has had a girlfriend knows that they are basically an investment of time and money, thus
girls=time*money
girls=money^2
girls=[root(evil)]^2
girls=evil
Seriously, though, it's pretty obvious that sharing your life with a girl you love is gonna make it better. That's been consistent with my experiences so far.
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I don't think porn is a good substitute for sex but there you go
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Romance is fun
Emotional connection brings great happiness
Sex is... I won't say no ^_^
There are some good posts in here. I think relationships are one of the most complicated things to learn about in life, which is why it can be frustrating and you can get the impression they're not worth your time. But all things considered I'd never turn my back on relationships because they are a huge part of what makes life worth living.
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I've been with my girl for almost a year and a half. It definitely been a good thing for me. She's helped me to become a better person. I would say now that I'm more motivated, understanding and nicer to people, along with many other things. Sure sometimes she can be a handful >.<, but thats only very small amount of time. Ninety-nine percent of the time its great and I don't know what I would do without her.
So to answer your question it would be yes, she has made my life much better. 
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every single girl i have been with has cheated on my and then dumped me blaming it on me
but it's only been like 5 girls
so i just voted yes because someday i'll find the right one :D
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I've had the same problem thor... I think it's because I play games too much though. heh
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
On January 09 2009 12:52 StarSlay3r wrote:
I've had the same problem thor... I think it's because I play games too much though. heh
There is no such thing as playing TOO much games. You just have to find that someone who knows as much heh
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lived with a girl before, kind of nice to come home and have her waiting for you and do stuff together, hooking up all the time is nice too, but can be annoying at times when her nesting instincts kick in
overall don't get too excited about it though
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
I can honestly say that meaningful relationships are one of the only things we live for. The vast majority of us need a companion. We need that person that will just be there. Through the hard and the good. Aye it is damn near impossible to meld two individual lives together cohesively. That is why it is always hard at some point. But that strain and work is worth it.
Personally I can attest to the full spectrum. I had a really meaningful relationship that was very difficult. Her parents were going through a divorce, my family was experiencing post-divorce chaos and we ourselves were stressed with college/life in general. It wasn't a great atmosphere. To make matters worse she was my first love and I was inexperienced with relationships on that magnitude. She had to carry a lot of the weight and I had to do a lot of "I am sorry" and "I am learning." Which can get exhausting. But even in all that the tearful talks that only we could have, the walks in the snow or rain.. just to be together, the lazy weekends where we stayed in bed until 5pm or the stressful nights where we didn't sleep and helped each other do homework.. or not do homework as it was sometimes. Those were the kind of things that made any and all of it worthwhile.
When things fell apart I was in shambles. I wasn't the same person for over 6 months. I was depressed, I skipped out on work, I lashed out at friends and family and I thought I'd never be as happy again. But I had the mindset the entire time that I was going to delve into those emotions and experience them, learn from them and grow. Today I know I am twice the man I was and I know it was because it hurt so bad when it ended.
Meaningful relationships are like that drink after a long walk in the desert. It's the one quenching feeling you can obtain like no other.
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Yeah but those kind of relationships are hard as HELL to find! I seem to always pick the cheating douchebag guys that are liars. BLAH!
Relationship + Games = awesome... why can't I have both? lol
On a serious note though, Geoff I'm sorry you had to go through that. I had a good meaningful relationship and a daughter and things seemed like they were on track until he started to not trust me. Trust is key in a relationship. I haven't been able to find a meaningful relationship like that in 2 years.  I pretty much just stopped trying because it seems like if you try to force a relationship to happen that's when it turns out the worst. :p
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EPT
