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On December 24 2008 11:35 Sadist wrote:What do you do with this kid? + Show Spoiler +Seriously. Youve all seen it, the little kid stealing the car =[ Obviously spanking children isnt IDEAL, but some motherfuckers need it.
It's pretty obvious that the kid is living with it's grandmom and has no parents close to him, that's different. Obviously 1 grandma isn't going to have that much influence on the kid when he's hanging out with peers that already smoke etc. Western kids aren't influenced by their parents that much anyway, hitting is not gonna do shit here most likely. Ofcourse the kid needs to be disciplined but what that kid needs is a lot of attention and parents, not a beating. Great idea, making a kid who's already fucking up his life extra violent.
And so many here see beating as the solution to dealing with kids. You guys are forgetting that if you need to beat your kids you are already failing pretty hard at raising a kid. There is a reason that kids who misbehave are beaten all the time and there is never really any progress while there are kids who aren't beaten and never misbehave. This proves that the shaping of a child's behavior doesn't require physical discipline, while physical discipline has been proven to make kids more violent.
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On December 24 2008 11:27 Frits wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2008 11:22 Mora wrote:On December 24 2008 11:17 Frits wrote:On December 24 2008 11:15 Mastermind wrote:
Why the hell not? It's gonna run out of energy sometime. The situation does not demand physical discipline at all.
People like you should be smacked for not smacking your kids. I dont want to hear the little shits whining in public. Please learn to respect others. Letting your kid whine for an hour in public until it is too tired to whine is so wrong. Except I was raised without beating and I always behaved well in public. People like me? lol I have way more insight in the raising of children than most. Why do you feel this way? Most people credit themselves with knowing how to raise children better than the average, often for a plethora of good and bad reasons. I'm curious what you feel has given you such insight (sincerely curious - is it from school? discussion on the subject? lessons handed down from parents?). lol no nothing like that I study psychology at the university of leiden
lol I'm not saying this will happen to you or anything. However my aunt is a child psychologist. She was actually the head of social services for a city in Westchester at one point. She had two kids and raised them without ever hitting them. Well her oldist is a goodie goodie. The youngist was however a HELL RAISER!!! So from my limited bases with psychologist they are only batting 50% in the child raising department. I'm not sure a deep understanding of psychology really helps as a parent. I guess it can't hurt but its not a cure all thats for sure.
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Korea (South)922 Posts
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Sadist and Equinox_kr did you actually watch the second video in full? how can you say he needs a beating when it's evident he was initially reared in an abusive environment. the grandmother clearly says that she thinks his behaviour is a result of his parents negative behaviour: "all he's ever seen was his parents do physical, abusive and verbal things and i don't want him to continue in this direction so i'm doing the best i can to get him the help."
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Being a good parent only goes so far, once kids get older parents don't really have a hold over their kids anymore. What's important is making sure they hang with good peers. Maybe your aunt was a little too liberal in raising her kid, I don't know.
There are always things you can't control.
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On December 24 2008 11:50 L!MP wrote:
Sadist and Equinox_kr did you actually watch the second video in full? how can you say he needs a beating when it's evident he was initially reared in an abusive environment. the grandmother clearly says that she thinks his behaviour is a result of his parents negative behaviour: "all he's ever seen was his parents do physical, abusive and verbal things and i don't want him to continue in this direction so i'm doing the best i can to get him the help."
Yeah this was obvious from watching video 1, the kid isn't living with his parents helloooooo. Can't believe equinox and sadist are so quick to judge a kid like that.
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On December 24 2008 11:52 Frits wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2008 11:50 L!MP wrote:
Sadist and Equinox_kr did you actually watch the second video in full? how can you say he needs a beating when it's evident he was initially reared in an abusive environment. the grandmother clearly says that she thinks his behaviour is a result of his parents negative behaviour: "all he's ever seen was his parents do physical, abusive and verbal things and i don't want him to continue in this direction so i'm doing the best i can to get him the help." Yeah this was obvious from watching video 1, the kid isn't living with his parents helloooooo. Can't believe equinox and sadist are so quick to judge a kid like that.
he needs to stop playing with his little bastard friends
Kids arent usually bad on their own, its when they get in groups ;D
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On December 24 2008 11:15 Mastermind wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2008 11:11 Frits wrote:On December 24 2008 11:08 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 24 2008 11:03 Frits wrote:On December 24 2008 10:58 CharlieMurphy wrote:
No, you smack them on the spot and tell that that no one wants to hear their whining. If they keep whining you threaten to take them to the car and spank them further. If that doesn't work then you beat them.
You can't always blame the parents for shitty kids. No you just need to ignore it, beating your kids out of frustration isn't gonna do anything but turn him into the same person. When you ignore your kid when he cries and whines he will become more independant by himself, while you're just acknowledging him by beating him. It's not that hard to ignore, you just need some restraint and patience, I think those qualities are a lot more worthwhile in society than violence. you can't very well walk around ignoring a whining child or a screaming little shit throwing a fit for a toy. You need to discipline him on the spot, no words will shut this child up. Situation demands physical discipline. Why the hell not? It's gonna run out of energy sometime. The situation does not demand physical discipline at all. People like you should be smacked for not smacking your kids. I dont want to hear the little shits whining in public. Please learn to respect others. Letting your kid whine for an hour in public until it is too tired to whine is so wrong.
oh you are so wrong!
if your kids whine in public clinics or a libararies you should:
1. Ignore him, psycological pressure> phyisical, I find it in a book thanks to yahoo answers.
2. Let him hit the "climax" of his whining, he'll probably get tired or give up eventually. and condede his argument, THATS when you should start the conversation with him.
3. Talk about what he did wrong, or potentially could had, he'll feel the guilt and will beg for forgiveness, after all children are known for being very consequent of their actions in the middle of their tantrums,and for rationalizing them if you talk to them nicely.
4. If he slaps you, get out your laptop immediately and use your home-made power point presentations to teach him about respect and give show him family values
5. If this still doesn't work, give him a TIME-OUT, where you hypothetically freeze your child's time continuum preferibly in a corner or your car, where he could not do anything except masturbate to local girls on the passenger seat.
or if you don't have time for this bs
1. Punch him in the teeth.
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I'm really disgusted to see how many of you believe that beating your children is a good thing.
Clearly none of you know how parenting works, nor understand the negative outcomes of beating your children.
I would try to convince you that it is a bad thing and there are many positive alternative parenting methods, however I feel that I would be arguing with a brick wall, so I'm not going to waste my time.
If you are interested in other methods, go read up on any book or article that deals with proper parenting.
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On December 24 2008 10:32 CharlieMurphy wrote:
If you don't beat your kids, they will be faggots.
And CharlieMurphy, that is by far the dumbest and ignorant comment I have ever read on this site.
Read a book.
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I find it funny that everyone is basically on the extreme ends of this argument.... its like omg NEVER beat your kids or FUCKING STOP BEING A PUSSY AND BEAT! I mean I agree that hitting kids is generally not the best solution but there are times when kids just cannot be reasoned with. I myself have probably only gotten hit/spanked less then 5 times in my life and I did turn out good behavior wise. There were times though that I admit I DID cross the line and pretty much just was unreachable word wise because I was intentionally pushing it to see how far I could go. Although that was like twice when I was a teenager and all I got was a quick mild slap that basically insta ended it. My mom every time she hit me would always come and apologize like 10 min after and I always wondered why because I knew I deserved it.
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Oh and Frits and Co who are against beating, the tone of your posts are probably HIGHLY offensive considering your basically saying the majority of the people here have shitty parents. Just because you currently studying psych does not give you some hardcore insider info on parenting and to make judgments about parents that do use physical discipline. Every child is different and will respond different to the environment they are raised in.
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it depends how it's used. some parents do it to vent frustration. that's no good.
most asian kids have experienced this. sometimes a kid deserves it. in public wouldn't be good, though, as it is humiliating for both the parent and the child. As long as it's not out of line, like bloody cuts or black eyes, then a smack once in a while can keep kids in line.
ever watch that dave chapelle clip on swapping wives? "man, time out is SWEET!" time outs don't work all the time. neither does smacking, but it still needs to be done. probably a balance of the two would be good (or a good scolding/talk instead of time out [basically non-violent methods].
kids need to know the boundaries. verbal warning first. then if they still don't get it, then a smack should be justified.
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If another adult was acting in an annoying manner verbally, would you use violence to change their behavior? Probably not. So why the fuck would you do so for a kid? Because you're larger and don't have to worry about them retaliating in the same way?
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I was just about to link this.
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tl;dr
What I think is that a pouting in the butt is a lesson learned...Now beating is a different story. I was brought up in the southern states and a quick strike to the butt(or pinching or kick or even a fuckin thump to the head) was something to be recognized with. Don't act up and don't get the shock of life slapped out of you. But beating is a whole different subject compared to a quick lesson..I'll read the rest of this when I don't got better things to do with my time.
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XellOs got caned for playing BroodWar, and look how awesome he turned out! I'm gonna cane my kids until they're as cool as XellOs.
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MURICA15980 Posts
On December 24 2008 10:23 shavingcream66 wrote:
not to generalize or anything, but coming from an Asian household, I think its safe to say that almost all asian kids get physically disciplined. Negative reinforcement is preferred over positive reinforcement. Not being racist, just sharing my 2cents here
negative reinforcement- "if you don't get straight A's, then you get [a punishment]"
positive reinforcement- "if you do get straight A's, then you get [a reward]
I used to get beat with sticks and my friends got beat with metal pipes (not too hard, doesn't shatter bones)
edit: haha i remember how sometimes my cousin would come to school with bruises down her arms but we were told to say that we "fell down" if someone asked
It's better to combine them.
If you get straight As, you get a reward. If you don't, you get punished. =D
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When My 1 year old acts out I smother him with a pillow. Little shit, always crying for milk.
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MURICA15980 Posts
On December 24 2008 10:56 Frits wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2008 10:48 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 24 2008 10:45 Frits wrote:
Just to be clear, beatings are NEVER justified when raising kids, there's always a non violent solution, beating your kids only makes up for your terrible parenting skills. no, beat your kids when they are being little shits in public. If you don't they will abuse the stigma pf societies view to control you. If you only operate on their level with mental discipline they see this and play mind games, show them how you don't take that shit and smack them. This is classic, you educating me on psychology. I was never beaten (okay maybe a little but that was only during a period of 1 year or so, and it definately had no positive effects, didnt stop any behavior in the long run, etc) and was never a little shit in public because I was raised well. Other people get beaten a lot and are little shits in public, mostly because of their terrible upbringing. And little kids don't play mind games, they are too stupid for that lol. With kids you just need to give rewards and motivate them for good things, even a nice word counts. When you get home and beat the kids there is already too much time passed anyway for it to have any effect. You need to raise your kids right from the start, and beating them is not going to discourage them from acting like shits, it only encourages violent behavior and turn him into a loser.
Let me speak from experience when I say that the time delay between doing something fucking stupid as a kid and getting hit a few hours later when you're at home doesn't make you forget what you did. The whole damn time, I'm scared shitless and thinking about it the whole time. I'm regretting it, and when my parents do hit me, they make me say my mistakes so I know what I'm getting punished for. After the spanking, they'll give me a hug, tell me they love me, and then take care of me. In theory, it looks as if it will only confuse a child, but you know when you are being loved and when you deserved it. It takes good parenting to make sure the child understands both sides to this.
To say spanking is never good is ignorant. There are some kids that it definitely helps with. And to say spanking is always necessary is also ignorant. When it comes down to it, its just overall good parenting that will result in good children, and its the parents call how to deal with their children properly. Hopefully they are smart enough to know how to deal with it instead of using a spanking as a way of "getting back" at the kid and releasing their frustrations, as the child definitely knows when this is happening. The parent needs to have his/her head screwed on properly first before doing any hitting. But then again, the parent needs to have his life together to properly raise a good kid most of the time anyways, or the kid will just go the way of the parent.
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EPT
