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On December 27 2008 10:56 Savio wrote:Show nested quote +On December 26 2008 22:47 ilistis wrote:On December 26 2008 12:17 Savio wrote:
In my opinion, no punishment of kids should be done in order to satisfy the parents' need to communicate anger, whether it be yelling or spanking.
I don't think beating is ever right but I don't consider spanking a child or backhanding a teenage son who just did/said something REALLY bad/disrespectful is a "beating".
I plan on trying spanking on my young kids with this method:
1. They do something they KNOW is bad
2. You tell them to go to their room
3. You agree with your wife that spanking is best (if wife not home, you cool off, then decide)
4. You tell the kid what they did wrong, then spank with your hand on bare buttocks (use your hand so you know how hard you are hitting)
5. Hold the child while they cry until they are better.
6. Ask them to explain why they were spanked.
7. Tell them you love them and hope they don't do that bad thing again.
8. Be extra nice to them the next day.
There you go. My master plan. Hopefully it works. I also plan on using "timeouts". Depends on the kid and the offense. Yeah, it would be pretty stupid as a kid to get smacked and then wondering why the farg it happened. So I'm guessing physical discipline is your last resort? Yes, I would prefer to use "time-outs". But I would consider spanking if the child didn't think timeout was much of a punishment.
"Spanking" is typically just hard enough to get the kids attention, and at some point they don't care about that anymore either. I have found taking things away, whether it be objects(toys,videos games, etc) or experiences (going to the park, movies, playing with friends, etc..) to be the best method to deal with behavior issues. When I was a kid my mom always said with freedom comes responsibility. I don't think I figured out what that meant until I was a teenager, but that is my philosophy with my kids.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
man this thread makes me want to smash the shit out of some poor innocent child's face
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I think it is ok when you smack a kid in the hand or somthing for a good reason, like if they beat a kid up or do somthing really bad.
I think beating your kids for not getting A's on there report cards is just wrong sometimes kids struggle with diffrent things, there not a pinata that if you smack them enough times A's will come out, and hitting your kids with weapons? Seriously come on your hand is enough, i guess if you want your kid to hate you go for the metal pipe. Generally i think its ok with restrictions, but you can't just hit a kid for no real reason, and when you see red I think that should be like a little stop sign on the ass saying ok STOP.
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On December 24 2008 11:15 Mastermind wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2008 11:11 Frits wrote:On December 24 2008 11:08 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 24 2008 11:03 Frits wrote:On December 24 2008 10:58 CharlieMurphy wrote:
No, you smack them on the spot and tell that that no one wants to hear their whining. If they keep whining you threaten to take them to the car and spank them further. If that doesn't work then you beat them.
You can't always blame the parents for shitty kids. No you just need to ignore it, beating your kids out of frustration isn't gonna do anything but turn him into the same person. When you ignore your kid when he cries and whines he will become more independant by himself, while you're just acknowledging him by beating him. It's not that hard to ignore, you just need some restraint and patience, I think those qualities are a lot more worthwhile in society than violence. you can't very well walk around ignoring a whining child or a screaming little shit throwing a fit for a toy. You need to discipline him on the spot, no words will shut this child up. Situation demands physical discipline. Why the hell not? It's gonna run out of energy sometime. The situation does not demand physical discipline at all. People like you should be smacked for not smacking your kids. I dont want to hear the little shits whining in public. Please learn to respect others. Letting your kid whine for an hour in public until it is too tired to whine is so wrong.
I hope you never have kid if you call a baby a little shit for crying.
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This is how I imagine laying it out.....
Your child does something stupid, you need to punish him.
You tell him to bend over, and you take your hand and spank him a few times.
(You need to make it memorable, or else he/she will forget, but you do not want to make him/her afraid.
Being afraid is when you do not know what to expect. If you come home from work and your child is cowering in the corner, you're doing it wrong.)
You pull your child into your arms after you spank; you calm him/her down.
You tell him: I don't like doing this to you. I love you though. You must not do that again. I am bigger, stronger, older, smarter than you. Please, listen to me... I love you.
You hug him/her tightly, and you forgive him.
the end.
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that sounds so creepy strikeflow...
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On December 27 2008 12:51 StrikeFLOW wrote:
This is how I imagine laying it out.....
Your child does something stupid, you need to punish him.
You tell him to bend over, and you take your hand and spank him a few times.
(You need to make it memorable, or else he/she will forget, but you do not want to make him/her afraid.
Being afraid is when you do not know what to expect. If you come home from work and your child is cowering in the corner, you're doing it wrong.)
You pull your child into your arms after you spank; you calm him/her down.
You tell him: I don't like doing this to you. I love you though. You must not do that again. I am bigger, stronger, older, smarter than you. Please, listen to me... I love you.
You hug him/her tightly, and you forgive him.
the end.
Every year, on christmas eve, me and my family go to a friend's house for a big christmas dinner. However, i only remember one of these dinners from before i was a teenager. it was when i was around 8, and being a total douche or something at the party, i can't remember. anyway, my parents got really angry with me, so they took me home, made me take off my pants, and caned me a few times. it pretty much went along the lines of what strikeflow said. and from that day on. i stopped being stupid at parties n social gatherings and shit
this is a testimonial... beating your kids works.
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I would rather be whacked around a few times than be grounded. I'd probably remember it more, too. Not letting a kid out of the house / hang out with friends is cruel and unusual punishment or some shit like that.
(ofc crazy shit like beating your kid until your hands hurt or using a lead pipe is right out, i'm supposing eminently reasonable physical punishment here)
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On December 27 2008 13:15 GenericTerranPlayer wrote:
this is a testimonial... beating your kids works.
Hilarious. If I look at the horizon I don't see a sphere. It's not round at all. Just a straight line. The earth is flat.
Usually when you're making arguments in a thread you don't use the premise that you're already right as support for what you say.
I was not making an argument. I thought that was pretty clear.
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MURICA15980 Posts
Perhaps the tiny co-relation between violence and spanking is associated with the fact that the kids that are most likely to be spanked are more prone to violence? Or that the parents lose control during the spankings and it ends up being a violent act? Or that the parents themselves are more prone to violence in other aspects of life, thus showing a bad example to the kids. Usually I don't buy all that BS about one factor contributing to violence tho. It is usually multi-faceted, and if the effect of a good, responsible spanking is negligible on a child's mental health, then the real thing to consider is the effect it has on observable behavior and change.
The point is, it works. You say there are other ways, but my way still works. And it works well. And my kids will not have psychological damage because of it. Thus if my way has a higher chance of bringing out better, more responsible and caring people out of my children, my way is the way to go because the observable behavior effectively changes without long-term damage.
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Its nothing wrong with good parents to beat their kids to make them straight or later in life those kids will turn in to some fuckin' retards.
But in hands of shitty parents whose drunk and just want to beat their kids for fun, its gonna produce some future cons for the social to deal with
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Every argument useed to justify spanking, I haven't seen any argument explaining why it's actually a good way to bring up your children, is discussed by experts in those videos I posted. No one has responded to what they said.
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MURICA15980 Posts
For every study in western culture that condemns all sorts of spankings, there are probably a BILLION studies in the Asian cultures that say the opposite. I don't have proof of this, but I would have to say for a study such as this, social bias is EXTREMELY strong.
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Are there transcripts? I find watching youtube videos repeatedly to make sure I've gotten everything / rewatching them after a short time has passed rather tedious.
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How other people raise their kids is no business of mine, or anybody elses but the parents and the kid concerned. But my parents never did anything physical to me or any of my siblings.
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First of all, every child is different. Some children will respond to verbal discipline and some won't. Children are always exploring their boundaries. A lot of children just don't care if you fuss at them and they will not feel guilty or remorseful. It's not because they're fucked up, it's just because it takes some children more years to develop the ability to fully understand the consequences of their actions and the way their actions impact others - and the importance of following certain rules.
Sometimes, you just have to bust a beer bottle over their sweet little heads. Or at least spank them.
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Norway28902 Posts
its not so much that every kid is different, as it is that different societies want kids to be different. asian societies place more value of obedience than western societies (I think obedience without reason is bad by default) and I can certainly see that spanking builds obedience. but obedience is not the most important trait.. in fact, I think very young kids to some degree need some blind obedience towards their parents (dont play in traffic), but in general, blind obedience should be avoided..
but in asia, blind obedience is cherished through all society. an asian boss has considerably more power over his employees (also responsibility) than what is the case in western societies. this can all be connected with how the different cultures raise their children..
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did you guys hear about the Egyptian teacher? some ltitle kid didnt do his math homework so his teacher (24 yrs old) took him outside of the classroom and wanted to discipline him by striking a punch violently in the stomach. student fainted and then died in the hospital. teacher's lawyer says he did not break the law because hitting a student is not breaking the law.
=[
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On December 27 2008 09:37 baal wrote:
id treat my children as individuals capable of reason, understanding and thought, not as animals who only respond by physical pain.
thats what you say now but i've seen you lose your temper in act 5 of LOD
if we are neighbors i'm gonna tell my kids to watch their shit around you
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I don't believe in beating your kids. If you beat them then you are a second tier parent.
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EPT
