On October 10 2007 12:53 Ghin wrote:
practice? i mean i could write a big post with 50000 words saying you should practice, but i think this says it just as easily

L!MP

Australia2067 Posts

October 10 2007 15:14 GMT

#62

On October 10 2007 12:57 Kennigit wrote:
Ok, this is a confidence issue. And there is one sure cure that i've had great success with when helping people with similar problems.

psych yourself out. Think of how fucking awesome you are and that you are doing anyone you look a massive favour just to be in your presence. It's almost like you create an alterego for yourself that you learn to breakout when put under the pressure of it. Normally im somewhat shy but am able to lecture and give speeches to audiences 300+ because of it.

Just sit down for like 10 mins each morning and think of how great you are, all your accomplishments and everything you have going for you and that because your that great you are going to share a little bit of it with others. This all may sound incredibly arrogant, and it is. However, with confidence issues like this you need to dive into the deep in and then calibrate your attitude. You dont need to portray this attitude outloud, just keep it in your head.

At first it may feel awkward but just stick with it and you'll be ballin in no time at all.

affirmation girl?

dupek

Switzerland214 Posts

October 10 2007 15:28 GMT

#63

how pathetic is this?! what has tl.net become...
is this now fucking psychotherapy site for pubescent losers?

XCetron

5226 Posts

October 10 2007 15:30 GMT

#64

On October 11 2007 00:28 dupek wrote:
how pathetic is this?! what has tl.net become...
is this now fucking psychotherapy site for pubescent losers?

youre new arent you

pyrogenetix

China5098 Posts

October 10 2007 15:33 GMT

#65

you could do a color print out of peoples faces real life size and try practicing with that

i think its a little like stress and panic when i get infront of a big crowd. what i do is try to first give the speech to a friend, then maybe my parents or something.

practicing infront of a mirror is good too

goodluck

dupek

Switzerland214 Posts

October 10 2007 15:45 GMT

#66

On October 11 2007 00:30 XCetron wrote:

Show nested quote +

youre new arent you

hm no..I started reading sporadically like 5 years ago. In times where nazgul played boxer. dunno if YOU remeber this...

MoltkeWarding

5195 Posts

October 10 2007 15:53 GMT

#67

You have asperger's syndrome, like me. :D

xM(Z

Romania5281 Posts

October 10 2007 16:12 GMT

#68

one word, LIE. lie like there's no tomorrow.
if you can look in people eyes when you lie then it's something wrong with your head;
if you can't look them in the eyes even when you lie then that's the way you are so you'll just have to practice, persevere and ignore the failures.

niteReloaded

Croatia5281 Posts

October 10 2007 16:14 GMT

#69

Yea, i have the same problem and im also sure it has to do with confidence.

Also, when i see a nice girl and she looks at me, i usually look away if she's very beutiful, coz i feel she's above my league. Then i usually just dont look at her, coz i, i dont know, i think to myself, "nah, how could she want anything to do with me..."
I know that looks pretty weak, right? so as time passed i spontaneously developed an attitude like i dont need noone, im fine by myself, i dont open myself, i dont get embarased/hurt. I basically hope a girl will come to me first.
Its just so wrong i know it, but its sooo hard to change without upgrading my selfconfidence.

Im pretty sure most of my fuckups/missed oportunities in life were caused by confidence issues.

IntoTheWow

is awesome32275 Posts

October 10 2007 16:23 GMT

#70

the same thing happened to me when i was like 12 or 13. I had a girlfriend that said she didn't like that I didnt look at her in the eyes. So I told her i felt uneasy about it and we would lay somewhere and stare at each other lol.

.MistiK

Netherlands347 Posts

October 10 2007 16:23 GMT

#71

I only have this problem when i face extremely hot girls but i guess that's normal...

Kennigit

Canada19447 Posts

October 10 2007 16:28 GMT

#72

On October 11 2007 00:14 L!MP wrote:

Show nested quote +

affirmation girl?

Oh god....i never want to be associated with this again o_o

SnoopySnacks

Tarsonis903 Posts

October 10 2007 16:47 GMT

#73

I suggest getting into some fights just pick some random person in the street and beat the fuck out of them. Do that once a week. Cures any self confidence shit.

NonY

8750 Posts

October 10 2007 16:47 GMT

#74

If you want some motivation for looking at eyes other than your self-image (so many self centered people posting here...), know that you can get a lot of extra information from someone by studying their eyes during verbal communication. You are missing out by looking away.

FirstBorn

Romania3955 Posts

October 10 2007 16:47 GMT

#75

Well, I tend to look in another way when speaking with another person just to avoid eye contact. It's not like I'm afraid or nervous, I dunno why. But that started to solve when I got a GF ( got used to staring to people

).

About the other problem, as was pointed out before, it may just be some confidence issues ( or a soar throat). Just try to get one female friend and talk alot with her. And don't think of other girls just as possible partners. Just act normal.

ViRii

United States826 Posts

October 10 2007 19:28 GMT

#76

It sounds like Asperger Syndrome.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspergers

+ Show Spoiler +

The lack of demonstrated empathy is possibly the most dysfunctional aspect of AS.[2] Individuals with AS experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships or enjoy spontaneous interests or achievements with others, a lack of social or emotional reciprocity, and impaired nonverbal behaviors such as eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture.[1]

There's more in the Wikipedia section but it's a real disorder. I suggest contacting a Psychologist, not being a douche here or anything just want what's best for you. There's no single treatment for Asperger Syndrome, but if anyone can really help it's a Psychologist.

Pika Chu

Romania2510 Posts

October 10 2007 20:30 GMT

#77

I really don't believe he's suffering from asperger syndrome. But he could tell us more about himself, about talking to people and sharing emotions etc (that way it could be made clear if he suffers from asperger syndrome or not).

Smurg, yes that can be true also... it just depends on the context like i mentioned before. The "oponent" can see it as a threat and it's just a matter of personality of how he will react: get scared, get pissed/provoked, etc.

[jOyO]

United States920 Posts

October 10 2007 21:00 GMT

#78

This is not a problem reading shit on the internet alone can solve.. how old are you? if you are in high school you should have plenty of opportunities to practice looking at peoples eyes.

serious suggestion: wear dark sun glasses everywhere

il0seonpurpose

Korea (South)5638 Posts

October 10 2007 21:54 GMT

#79

I have similar problem, I realized when I talked face to face, I dont stare at their eyes, but I dont get shy really. My voice gets deep and all nervous sounding when I'm in front of the class but I try not to feel nervous

Scorpion

United States1974 Posts

October 10 2007 22:46 GMT

#80

Ok, I tried most of what you guys said and it worked ;D I had like a million staring contests with all my female friends. At first it was REALLY awkward. I got the hang of looking into people's eyes now. Well, not entirely, but a little.

I got a little better saying "hi" also. I tried controlling my voice level so I don't sound like a pedophile.