EPTOn October 11 2007 07:46 Scorpion wrote:
I tried controlling my voice level so I don't sound like a pedophile.
I tried controlling my voice level so I don't sound like a pedophile.
I heard that can be a real problem, glad you got it fixed.
[H]I have a (social) problem. - Page 5
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Bockit
Sydney2287 Posts
I heard that can be a real problem, glad you got it fixed. | ||
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il0seonpurpose
Korea (South)5638 Posts
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EAGER-beaver
Canada2799 Posts
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Equinox_kr
United States7395 Posts
On October 10 2007 12:57 Kennigit wrote: Ok, this is a confidence issue. And there is one sure cure that i've had great success with when helping people with similar problems. psych yourself out. Think of how fucking awesome you are and that you are doing anyone you look a massive favour just to be in your presence. It's almost like you create an alterego for yourself that you learn to breakout when put under the pressure of it. Normally im somewhat shy but am able to lecture and give speeches to audiences 300+ because of it. Just sit down for like 10 mins each morning and think of how great you are, all your accomplishments and everything you have going for you and that because your that great you are going to share a little bit of it with others. This all may sound incredibly arrogant, and it is. However, with confidence issues like this you need to dive into the deep in and then calibrate your attitude. You dont need to portray this attitude outloud, just keep it in your head. At first it may feel awkward but just stick with it and you'll be ballin in no time at all. This is completely true. I used to have this problem and solved it with a similar remedy  Too bad the idea that I'm a fucking incredibly sexy bastard is imprinted in my mind now -_- | ||
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Equinox_kr
United States7395 Posts
On October 11 2007 11:59 EAGER-beaver wrote: Wear proper UV protection before staring into someone's eyes. Start with sunglasses. Holy crap where did you come from after like 5 months of nonexistance? :O | ||
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fight_or_flight
United States3988 Posts
On October 11 2007 07:46 Scorpion wrote: Ok, I tried most of what you guys said and it worked ;D I had like a million staring contests with all my female friends. At first it was REALLY awkward. I got the hang of looking into people's eyes now. Well, not entirely, but a little. I got a little better saying "hi" also. I tried controlling my voice level so I don't sound like a pedophile. Wow, if you keep going at this rate, you'll surpass kennigit soon. | ||
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Scorpion
United States1974 Posts
On October 11 2007 11:39 il0seonpurpose wrote: I usually stare away because the girl is just so gorgeous and I have some skin problems (pimples) nothing major but I just seem so much lower. I still do that... but now, I've gotten a bit use to it(I had a staring contest with a really attractive female friend of mine). It was hard at first, but just think of them as one of your "guy" friends or like someone you've always known(rofl, what a contradiction; I started this thread sounding like the most pathetic guy on the planet and here I am, giving advice).  | ||
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EAGER-beaver
Canada2799 Posts
On October 11 2007 12:23 Equinox_kr wrote: Holy crap where did you come from after like 5 months of nonexistance? :O I still check out tl.net almost daily, I've just been lurking behind damp foliage, trees, fallen logs, etc... | ||
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Scorpion
United States1974 Posts
On October 11 2007 12:45 EAGER-beaver wrote: I still check out tl.net almost daily, I've just been lurking behind damp foliage, trees, fallen logs, etc... I see what you did there. Back on topic, now that I'm getting these social problems out of the way, another problem arose: I sometimes avoid some people because I can't possibly think of anything to say. I can say stuff like "oh did you hear what happened/saw what happened/" or "what class are you going to next", but, if I was talking to myself and I told myself those things, I'd engage in projectile vomit because they sound so fucking OVERUSED and basically shows that you can only talk about things that have just happened and not just have a conversation. Ok, what I mean is, I don't want to have a conversation with someone knowing I will only talk about current events. I don't think anyone wants to hear me talk about how if you saw that one guy trip during marching band. I'm sure like 3 other people have talked to them about it and hearing me talk about it would just be boring and the conversation would only be about 3 minutes long. I sometimes have this problem with friends I've had for YEARS. ;/ EDIT: Ok, maybe I didn't type this out clearly enough but what I'm trying to say is I do know how to start conversations and I can keep a conversation but how can I make the conversation less bland? :\ | ||
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FirstProbe
1206 Posts
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KoveN-
Australia503 Posts
Instead of talking about THINGS talk about the emotions you experienced, girls love this. Girls relate on emotions, you will start tonnes of conversations if you talk about the emotions you felt for instance instead of saying "I went to paris last year and saw the eifel tower, it was massive, there was a staircase all the way up, something like 1000steps!" You would say "I went to paris last year in the summer, it was winter in australia at the time so it felt great to experience great weather in another country. I had been told the eifel tower was an amazing sight but you just don't realise until you are really standing there. I was a little scared to go up as it was shaking back and forth because of the wind, well it was more because there was something like 994 steps to climb but whos counting." etc | ||
Bill307
Canada9103 Posts
On October 11 2007 07:46 Scorpion wrote: Ok, I tried most of what you guys said and it worked ;D I had like a million staring contests with all my female friends. At first it was REALLY awkward. I got the hang of looking into people's eyes now. Well, not entirely, but a little. I got a little better saying "hi" also. I tried controlling my voice level so I don't sound like a pedophile. Hehe, good job with the eye-contact thing .As for the conversations thing, well, sometimes there just isn't much to say to someone else, especially if you guys have little in common. My advice is, if nothing comes to your mind and they can't think of anything to say, either, then don't stress over it: just think about something else or say "see ya later" and go off and do something else. Don't just stand there spending 10+ seconds trying to think of something meaningful to say  .Edit: (after reading KoveN-'s post) Oh yeah, if you can learn to tell stories then that'd be great. I knew a girl who used to tell me stories all the time, and I really enjoyed listening to them. In general, I enjoy listening to / reading stories from others. (Remember BigBalls's stories? I loved reading those.) Unfortunately, although I really wish I could, I am utterly terrible at telling stories, mainly because I am terrible at recalling stories to tell T_T. | ||
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fgsvsd
Switzerland348 Posts
On October 11 2007 12:55 Scorpion wrote: EDIT: Ok, maybe I didn't type this out clearly enough but what I'm trying to say is I do know how to start conversations and I can keep a conversation but how can I make the conversation less bland? :\ Make it personal. Don't just gossip. Pick up threads in the conversation to which you associate personal experiences, and express them. Best they be fresh, because if you're telling a story you've told 5 times before, you will be bored of it, and you'll project that, making the other person just as bored. I'm very tired as I write this, so maybe it isn't comprehensible =_= I'm off to bed, good night. | ||
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Indenial
29 Posts
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Nickisonfire
United States440 Posts
On October 11 2007 12:55 Scorpion wrote: I see what you did there. Back on topic, now that I'm getting these social problems out of the way, another problem arose: I sometimes avoid some people because I can't possibly think of anything to say. I can say stuff like "oh did you hear what happened/saw what happened/" or "what class are you going to next", but, if I was talking to myself and I told myself those things, I'd engage in projectile vomit because they sound so fucking OVERUSED and basically shows that you can only talk about things that have just happened and not just have a conversation. Ok, what I mean is, I don't want to have a conversation with someone knowing I will only talk about current events. I don't think anyone wants to hear me talk about how if you saw that one guy trip during marching band. I'm sure like 3 other people have talked to them about it and hearing me talk about it would just be boring and the conversation would only be about 3 minutes long. I sometimes have this problem with friends I've had for YEARS. ;/ EDIT: Ok, maybe I didn't type this out clearly enough but what I'm trying to say is I do know how to start conversations and I can keep a conversation but how can I make the conversation less bland? :\ put more emotion into what you're saying.. realize that how people talk to you and how you think of them is not that much different if you flip it around.. alot of times things will get silent.. crickets will come out.. but just abandon when you feel that coming small talk will lead to medium chats to longer ones.. start small | ||
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xM(Z
Romania5281 Posts
just go with what you feel more comfortable always prioritizing your innate characteristics. it will be more rewarding/satisfying. about what Kennigit said: a 'knowledgeable ' person can see through that bullshit and cand really fuck you up if he desires. | ||
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JesusCruxRH
New Zealand159 Posts
Sorry I didn't bother reading through all posts so someone else may have already said it but you just gotta get over yourself. | ||
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Pika Chu
Romania2510 Posts
On October 11 2007 19:51 JesusCruxRH wrote: Grow up (not trying to be mean, just blunt). Sorry I didn't bother reading through all posts so someone else may have already said it but you just gotta get over yourself. You're telling him/us to grow up? to me it seems you're the immature one. | ||
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fgsvsd
Switzerland348 Posts
On October 11 2007 19:51 JesusCruxRH wrote: That's some really good advice, thanks for sharing!Grow up (not trying to be mean, just blunt). Sorry I didn't bother reading through all posts so someone else may have already said it but you just gotta get over yourself. On second thought, fuck you. Contribute or shut your trap. | ||
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RedTail
United States104 Posts
You think you sounded like a pedophile!?! even if it was a joke from the other thread You are asking advice on what to say during a conversation?!? The problem is that the thoughts are even going through your head AND THAT THEY BOTHER YOU You will never find an end to fixing "social issues", you will always be able to "improve" something, If you are stressed about it, you will be stressed ad infinitum. What I'm trying to say, is that your problem is stressing out about this stuff, not the actual stuff itself. Let me play devil's advocate. What if the people around you were thinking, "why is he trying so hard" Well how are you going to try less, if you are thinking about your eye contact and stuff like that. You are screwed then. What im saying is. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING. Let me play devil's advocate again (OMG blandness!!!!) How much eye contact is good? There is no fucking rule book that everyone has and you can't follow it. WTF how can you sound like a pedophile, wtf does a pedophile sound like? You think your conversation is bland, other people might not, they might love it. I AM SERIOUS. maybe instead of bland they think that its "safe" conversation. If you keep trying to spice up your conversation, you might start talking random shit. THATS WHAT PEOPLE SAY "RANDOM". If you don't talk about current events or whatever then people will call it RANDOM!!!! and make fun of you. Now I dont give a flying fuck what you talk about, i'm just saying that no matter what you do other people will sometimes think that you are boring or random or a pedophile or whatever who gives a fuck. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE THINKING. the most you can get is their emotional reaction from chemicals they release in their body plus the things that you can see of their body language. unless they say something with WORDS to tell you WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE THEIR MIND you have no idea. AND EVEN THEN THEY MIGHT BE LYING. YOU HAVE NO IDEA, and if you think you do WELL BE A PSYCHIC OR A GYPSY BECAUSE THEY ARE REALLY RESPECTED AND EVERYONE BELIEVES THAT THEY CAN "READ" PEOPLE (sarcasm off) its actually very pretentious that you assume you know what other people are thinking. Yo man this path you are going down is bad news. See A Therapist. you are stressing too much for your own good about little shit. | ||
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