It was 2:00 in the afternoon, in about 1 hour I would be leaving for my TaeKwonDo class. I did not want to get busy with anything important to just have to stop in an hour and leave. I was at a dilemma, what to do for 1 hour untill my lesson?
Being quite the pervert that I am I chose to have an afternoon romp in my bedroom. I closed the door and locked it. I stood there for a moment, contemplating what I was just about to do. It was the middle of the afternoon, my mom was home and my brother was in his room. It was a dangerous time to do the deed I was about to do. My parents don't like me locking my door, so they would surely be suspicious and ask questions if they tried to enter my room and were denied entry.
However, I decided to do it. I sat down on my computer and opened up google. I am a man very experienced with the images of naked women and it takes some freaky deaky stuff to get me aroused these days. However, to spare you a good nights sleep I will refrain from going into detail.
I did my deed, cleaned up, and was very satisfied. It was now 2:35, I took my time. I got dressed in my TaeKwonDo uniform and headed downstairs. It takes some time to get to the school so I left at round 3:00.
I arrived to my lesson at 3:20 and it would start at 3:30. I did some warmups and was ready to go. Class had now started and there was about 10 other students present. The Master started us with our normal warming up excersizes. However, my story is not until the end of class, during sparring.
Usually we get in about 3-4 rounds of sparring before class ends. The Master always pairs us up according to size and age, and if their is not enough people he will pair you against other genders and younger ages but strictly tell you to have control.
Today was a normal day, I had two rounds against boys my age, they went well. But when the third round came... that is when it became interesting. I was paired against a girl probably 14-15 years old, I am 16. she was pretty cute too.
We were taking a breather before the round, stretching, loosening up before the sparring round, that is when, for some reason, a memory of my bedroom extravaganza came to surface. It was not long until I suffered from an involuntary raging clue. You might say, who cares cover it up until it goes away, however that is not the case.
TaeKwonDo uniforms are very unforgiving. They are loose to give your legs and arms free movement, but anything out of the ordinary will surely stand out like a man with an affro at a military gathering.
Slowly a mild sized tent was forming around the groin area. I don't think anyone had noticed yet.. I was trying to gain control, I could not let this get the better of me. Bad thoughts, had to think of bad thoughts. Hairy men, sewage, injuries, nuns, arghhh nothing was working, my special place was starting to grow, and alas my penis had claimed its territory.
There was no hiding it, I had an extreme boner. People noticed, people looked. My opponent had a "what in gods name" look on her face. Nonetheless I fought defensively and when the round was over I left, more like ran, for the door.
thank you for reading, now if you'll please share your raging clue moments it might help with me with my extreme embarassment.
Was lying in bed under duvets snoozing when two of my best friends staggered in quite drunk and fell on the bed next to me. Was comfortable, tired, only wearing boxers and a little tipsy so just lay there. They then started making out, still being sleepsy and not really sure what was happening I lay there. They then got undressed. By this point I was working out what was going on and deciding I should probably leave the room. The room was dark and the bed was up against the wall with me on the wall side and them on the other. The light switch was by the door. I considered my options for about 30 seconds, by which point clothes were off. I then said "excuse me", clambered across them, staggered to the door and turned the light on. They just stared at me with really confused expressions. I proceeded to get dressed and leave.
On October 29 2006 17:08 kdog3682 wrote: i took pics of myself. father than proceeded to use the camera.
One day at a co-op job, I was browsing through a company cellphone's photos and videos when I noticed these weird picture thumbnails. It looked like some kind of mutant eye. I saw videos with the same preview, so I decided to play them to see what it was.
Apparently the "mutant eye" was a close-up of a hand holding a penis, and the video was said hand jacking off said penis. My coworker confirmed this with his remark, "Bill why the fuck are you showing me this?!"
Turns out the previous co-op had taken photos and videos of himself "doing the deed" and forgot to delete them. We tried to get him to confess over IM but when he refused, we decided to tell the other previous co-op about it. Last I heard, his whole engineering class knew about it too .
laugh.. i have come close to suffering this fate, and as always, the more you think about it, the worse it gets... until i found the perfect erection killer. Dead bodies? Neigh.. Scat porn? Not hardly enough... im gonna go ahead and spoiler this for your own protection, because it is the most horrible thing ever..
i once stumbled upon this real video, of some guy, taking a scalpel and surgical scissors, to his penis, and.... oh god the thought gives me shudders... he literally, and when i say this, i shit you not.. he literally, filleted his own cock... i mean, he inserted the scissors down the shaft, and proceeded to cut open his penis like a sub sandwich, at which point he used the razor to ultimately bisect his dick into two pieces straight down the middle.. blood was everywhere... it was horrible, worse than the first faces of death type video i saw as a kid.. I had to stop a couple of times.. i even left the site.. but came back hours later in a sweaty dizzying frenzy just knowing I had to see what happened next, and if there was any way it ended as fake... but this i tell you, it was real... Thinking about it now, my penis has never felt more flaccid..
On October 29 2006 19:03 NewbSaibot wrote: laugh.. i have come close to suffering this fate, and as always, the more you think about it, the worse it gets... until i found the perfect erection killer. Dead bodies? Neigh.. Scat porn? Not hardly enough... im gonna go ahead and spoiler this for your own protection, because it is the most horrible thing ever..
i once stumbled upon this real video, of some guy, taking a scalpel and surgical scissors, to his penis, and.... oh god the thought gives me shudders... he literally, and when i say this, i shit you not.. he literally, filleted his own cock... i mean, he inserted the scissors down the shaft, and proceeded to cut open his penis like a sub sandwich, at which point he used the razor to ultimately bisect his dick into two pieces straight down the middle.. blood was everywhere... it was horrible, worse than the first faces of death type video i saw as a kid.. I had to stop a couple of times.. i even left the site.. but came back hours later in a sweaty dizzying frenzy just knowing I had to see what happened next, and if there was any way it ended as fake... but this i tell you, it was real... Thinking about it now, my penis has never felt more flaccid..
omg omfg I got this feeling wow I can't even explain OMFG
On October 29 2006 19:03 NewbSaibot wrote: laugh.. i have come close to suffering this fate, and as always, the more you think about it, the worse it gets... until i found the perfect erection killer. Dead bodies? Neigh.. Scat porn? Not hardly enough... im gonna go ahead and spoiler this for your own protection, because it is the most horrible thing ever..
i once stumbled upon this real video, of some guy, taking a scalpel and surgical scissors, to his penis, and.... oh god the thought gives me shudders... he literally, and when i say this, i shit you not.. he literally, filleted his own cock... i mean, he inserted the scissors down the shaft, and proceeded to cut open his penis like a sub sandwich, at which point he used the razor to ultimately bisect his dick into two pieces straight down the middle.. blood was everywhere... it was horrible, worse than the first faces of death type video i saw as a kid.. I had to stop a couple of times.. i even left the site.. but came back hours later in a sweaty dizzying frenzy just knowing I had to see what happened next, and if there was any way it ended as fake... but this i tell you, it was real... Thinking about it now, my penis has never felt more flaccid..
Dude. Hasn't everybody older than 16 with internet access seen that? Oh, www.amplovesyou.net for anyone who wants it. Though there is far worse on there than that.
I remember my first time watching a little video called "ep-sample.avi" around 4-5 years ago. That is by and far the absolute nastiest shit I have ever witnessed. I'm not being cute, it was fucking disgusting in every interpretation of the word. I felt like I had been struck lightning or something. I couldn't see certain colors for a while and I had a strange peanut-buttery taste in the back of my mouth.
So, yeah. If you ever want a memory that will serve to kill a boner any time, any where, go track down that little number.
And yes, it is something that Japanese people did.
edit:: actually rather than make this thread the most disgusting thing of all time, back to the "bad time for a boner" stories. and in complete hypocrisy i will keep the link in the last post, because it makes me feel better whenever i find out im not the only one who has been exposed to that website.
today for instance, i was going to go play flag football but realized my pants did not provide solice for ANY activity downthere, so i quickly changed into shorts that did and saved the day.
It's only been a little over a month since I've moved into my dorm where I share the room with one other guy. His bed position is parallel to my bed, only across the room (so about like a 5 foot distance between the two).
I normally sleep with my boxers on, and usually I get those morning woods. The problem is he usually wakes up earlier than me and sits on his bed using his laptop in a manner that sort of faces towards where I sleep.
So morning wood isn't a problem, I'll just lie there awake until it limps over. I wait for a minute and finally I'm flaccid and so I proceed to get out of my bed. The rustling movement of my sheets and my bear-like yawning as I get out of my blanket catches his attention. At that exact moment, I throw my sheets aside only to realize my penis is hanging out of the piss hole provided in most (if not all) boxer shorts. Mine usually come with a little button to close it up but I for the love of god never seem to have it closed up.
What ensued was an obvious awkward moment with my newly-made friend and roommate, especially since the only people who have ever seen my penis besides me have been my parents, brother, and ex gf. I quickly pocket little charlie back into my boxers, and head straight for the door to take the most awkward piss ever.
I figure I'll contribute to the thread in the vein of the OP's post.
Back in 8th grade middle school P.E. (physical education, or gym) class, we'd line up in our assigned spots every class to do stretches at the beginning, in the usual box formation. You know, to prep for more vigorous exercise, get the blood flowing and all. Well, as fate would have it, I was placed just to the left of my raging middle school crush. And, for the record, I'd continued to develop deeper feelings for her in high school--not only was she one fine-looking (natural) blonde, but she's quite the character, difficult to define. Anyway, for the purposes of the narration, she probably developed a little precociously, and as such she attracted swarms of older boys too.
So every single day, I'd come to class and change into gym shorts/shirt, as was required. And then I'd have to stretch close the object...of my very desires! So every time we had to stretch in a rightward direction, guess who I'd get an eyeful of. And being too weak of will and clearly overmatched, I just couldn't resist for minutes on end. So, surely (but not so slowly at times!), I'd be popping a boner. Some days I could avoid it. Most others, I wasn't so lucky. And, being an awkward middle schooler, other times, I'd continue to sneak a look or two even after I'd achieved my full erection (the ratio of 2.5:1 btw*). She was just...too pretty...
Not only that, but in gym class, sometimes she'd look across me to one of her friends and talk. So I have two nice young ladies talking about some matter or another, all across the boner that would never go away. Luckily for me, as she -is- a decent person, the matter was pretty much overlooked, and we became casual acquaintance/friends later on.
But it did take four and a half years for her to muster the courage to ever give me a hug.
one time it was late after a party and one of my female friends didn't want to go back to her place, so we ended up sleeping in the same bed and i guess spooning or whatever a bit, and i got this raging hardon and im pretty sure it was pressed directly against her butt.
anyway it was awkward as hell for about 2 minutes or so with my dick pressed directly against her buttcheeks, and i was thinking about what to say or whatever to diffuse the situation (the erection just WOULD NOT go away, she had a really nice body) and suddenly, she farts. i mean not a loud whatever fart but a tiny one but we both definitely heard it, and she goes:
her: "haha sorry [for the fart]. oh, also, thats your penis right." me: yes. her: "ok just checking. good night."
On October 29 2006 20:47 Kwark wrote: Tubgirl is nothing to what I've seen. Haven't you guys ever explored the depth of internet depravity? I'll try and find some videos for you.
On October 29 2006 20:47 Kwark wrote: Tubgirl is nothing to what I've seen. Haven't you guys ever explored the depth of internet depravity? I'll try and find some videos for you.
That's a nice gesture, but don't post them here.
Seriously please don't. I just checked some of the videos at amplovesyou.net and I want to cry T__________________T
On October 29 2006 20:47 Kwark wrote: Tubgirl is nothing to what I've seen. Haven't you guys ever explored the depth of internet depravity? I'll try and find some videos for you.
That's a nice gesture, but don't post them here.
Seriously please don't. I just checked some of the videos at amplovesyou.net and I want to cry T__________________T
Bah. There's a lot of cool shit at amp too. It's not all genital mutilation and animal sex. But fair enough. I'll leave your minds in peace.
Ok this story envolves me but the embarrising moment happend to my friend. We were sitting in his room playing Socom 3 and we were bored of course and he tells me that his dad has viagre and that we should take some and had to the mall. so he breaks in his dads room and stills 2 capsules. now at first im reluctint to take it because my Unit works fine and i didnt want it to get damaged but never the less i took my pill ( well half) and him his and we headed towards the Galleria (the mall). Me wisely wore pants that were some-what tight enough to block my erection although it did look like i had a pole taped agains my inner thigh but my friend wore Basketball shorts that are elastic so his Unit was peaking for pretty much any one to see. So we had down the Escaltors and going up are a group of barley dressed Females, i began to pre-ejaculate but my friend however began to literally burst we reached the bottom and he ran behind a showcase CR-V and began to dispell all of hisman juice on the vehicle, i laughed people stared and he was standing still behind the Car. We ammediatly walked home erections and stains in all...
On October 29 2006 19:03 NewbSaibot wrote: laugh.. i have come close to suffering this fate, and as always, the more you think about it, the worse it gets... until i found the perfect erection killer. Dead bodies? Neigh.. Scat porn? Not hardly enough... im gonna go ahead and spoiler this for your own protection, because it is the most horrible thing ever..
i once stumbled upon this real video, of some guy, taking a scalpel and surgical scissors, to his penis, and.... oh god the thought gives me shudders... he literally, and when i say this, i shit you not.. he literally, filleted his own cock... i mean, he inserted the scissors down the shaft, and proceeded to cut open his penis like a sub sandwich, at which point he used the razor to ultimately bisect his dick into two pieces straight down the middle.. blood was everywhere... it was horrible, worse than the first faces of death type video i saw as a kid.. I had to stop a couple of times.. i even left the site.. but came back hours later in a sweaty dizzying frenzy just knowing I had to see what happened next, and if there was any way it ended as fake... but this i tell you, it was real... Thinking about it now, my penis has never felt more flaccid..
On October 29 2006 21:22 Hot_Bid wrote: her: "haha sorry [for the fart]. oh, also, thats your penis right." me: yes. her: "ok just checking. good night."
On October 29 2006 20:54 PanoRaMa wrote: Meh I have a slightly similar moment.
It's only been a little over a month since I've moved into my dorm where I share the room with one other guy. His bed position is parallel to my bed, only across the room (so about like a 5 foot distance between the two).
I normally sleep with my boxers on, and usually I get those morning woods. The problem is he usually wakes up earlier than me and sits on his bed using his laptop in a manner that sort of faces towards where I sleep.
So morning wood isn't a problem, I'll just lie there awake until it limps over. I wait for a minute and finally I'm flaccid and so I proceed to get out of my bed. The rustling movement of my sheets and my bear-like yawning as I get out of my blanket catches his attention. At that exact moment, I throw my sheets aside only to realize my penis is hanging out of the piss hole provided in most (if not all) boxer shorts. Mine usually come with a little button to close it up but I for the love of god never seem to have it closed up.
What ensued was an obvious awkward moment with my newly-made friend and roommate, especially since the only people who have ever seen my penis besides me have been my parents, brother, and ex gf. I quickly pocket little charlie back into my boxers, and head straight for the door to take the most awkward piss ever.
Well, it's not THAT big of a deal for another dude to see your wang if your both straight. Did he comment on it later?
On October 29 2006 17:04 Snet wrote: It was 2:00 in the afternoon, in about 1 hour I would be leaving for my TaeKwonDo class. I did not want to get busy with anything important to just have to stop in an hour and leave. I was at a dilemma, what to do for 1 hour untill my lesson?
Being quite the pervert that I am I chose to have an afternoon romp in my bedroom. I closed the door and locked it. I stood there for a moment, contemplating what I was just about to do. It was the middle of the afternoon, my mom was home and my brother was in his room. It was a dangerous time to do the deed I was about to do. My parents don't like me locking my door, so they would surely be suspicious and ask questions if they tried to enter my room and were denied entry.
However, I decided to do it. I sat down on my computer and opened up google. I am a man very experienced with the images of naked women and it takes some freaky deaky stuff to get me aroused these days. However, to spare you a good nights sleep I will refrain from going into detail.
I did my deed, cleaned up, and was very satisfied. It was now 2:35, I took my time. I got dressed in my TaeKwonDo uniform and headed downstairs. It takes some time to get to the school so I left at round 3:00.
I arrived to my lesson at 3:20 and it would start at 3:30. I did some warmups and was ready to go. Class had now started and there was about 10 other students present. The Master started us with our normal warming up excersizes. However, my story is not until the end of class, during sparring.
Usually we get in about 3-4 rounds of sparring before class ends. The Master always pairs us up according to size and age, and if their is not enough people he will pair you against other genders and younger ages but strictly tell you to have control.
Today was a normal day, I had two rounds against boys my age, they went well. But when the third round came... that is when it became interesting. I was paired against a girl probably 14-15 years old, I am 16. she was pretty cute too.
We were taking a breather before the round, stretching, loosening up before the sparring round, that is when, for some reason, a memory of my bedroom extravaganza came to surface. It was not long until I suffered from an involuntary raging clue. You might say, who cares cover it up until it goes away, however that is not the case.
TaeKwonDo uniforms are very unforgiving. They are loose to give your legs and arms free movement, but anything out of the ordinary will surely stand out like a man with an affro at a military gathering.
Slowly a mild sized tent was forming around the groin area. I don't think anyone had noticed yet.. I was trying to gain control, I could not let this get the better of me. Bad thoughts, had to think of bad thoughts. Hairy men, sewage, injuries, nuns, arghhh nothing was working, my special place was starting to grow, and alas my penis had claimed its territory.
There was no hiding it, I had an extreme boner. People noticed, people looked. My opponent had a "what in gods name" look on her face. Nonetheless I fought defensively and when the round was over I left, more like ran, for the door.
thank you for reading, now if you'll please share your raging clue moments it might help with me with my extreme embarassment.
And this, my friends, is the REAL reason you wear a cup.
On October 29 2006 21:22 Hot_Bid wrote: one time it was late after a party and one of my female friends didn't want to go back to her place, so we ended up sleeping in the same bed and i guess spooning or whatever a bit, and i got this raging hardon and im pretty sure it was pressed directly against her butt.
anyway it was awkward as hell for about 2 minutes or so with my dick pressed directly against her buttcheeks, and i was thinking about what to say or whatever to diffuse the situation (the erection just WOULD NOT go away, she had a really nice body) and suddenly, she farts. i mean not a loud whatever fart but a tiny one but we both definitely heard it, and she goes:
her: "haha sorry [for the fart]. oh, also, thats your penis right." me: yes. her: "ok just checking. good night."
Ahahahaha, hilarious! That made my day, thank you sir!
On October 29 2006 20:54 PanoRaMa wrote: Meh I have a slightly similar moment.
It's only been a little over a month since I've moved into my dorm where I share the room with one other guy. His bed position is parallel to my bed, only across the room (so about like a 5 foot distance between the two).
I normally sleep with my boxers on, and usually I get those morning woods. The problem is he usually wakes up earlier than me and sits on his bed using his laptop in a manner that sort of faces towards where I sleep.
So morning wood isn't a problem, I'll just lie there awake until it limps over. I wait for a minute and finally I'm flaccid and so I proceed to get out of my bed. The rustling movement of my sheets and my bear-like yawning as I get out of my blanket catches his attention. At that exact moment, I throw my sheets aside only to realize my penis is hanging out of the piss hole provided in most (if not all) boxer shorts. Mine usually come with a little button to close it up but I for the love of god never seem to have it closed up.
What ensued was an obvious awkward moment with my newly-made friend and roommate, especially since the only people who have ever seen my penis besides me have been my parents, brother, and ex gf. I quickly pocket little charlie back into my boxers, and head straight for the door to take the most awkward piss ever.
Well, it's not THAT big of a deal for another dude to see your wang if your both straight. Did he comment on it later?
I think he saw his erected wang, a case of morning wood and all. Otherwise, I don't see the problem.
On October 29 2006 22:01 Kingkosi wrote: Ok this story envolves me but the embarrising moment happend to my friend. We were sitting in his room playing Socom 3 and we were bored of course and he tells me that his dad has viagre and that we should take some and had to the mall. so he breaks in his dads room and stills 2 capsules. now at first im reluctint to take it because my Unit works fine and i didnt want it to get damaged but never the less i took my pill ( well half) and him his and we headed towards the Galleria (the mall). Me wisely wore pants that were some-what tight enough to block my erection although it did look like i had a pole taped agains my inner thigh but my friend wore Basketball shorts that are elastic so his Unit was peaking for pretty much any one to see. So we had down the Escaltors and going up are a group of barley dressed Females, i began to pre-ejaculate but my friend however began to literally burst we reached the bottom and he ran behind a showcase CR-V and began to dispell all of hisman juice on the vehicle, i laughed people stared and he was standing still behind the Car. We ammediatly walked home erections and stains in all...
On October 29 2006 22:01 Kingkosi wrote: are a group of barley dressed Females, i began to pre-ejaculate but my friend however began to literally burst we reached the bottom and he ran behind a showcase CR-V and began to dispell all of hisman juice on the vehicle, i laughed people stared and he was standing still behind the Car. We ammediatly walked home erections and stains in all...
so you two start cumming just from the sight of girls? or is that what the mighty V does?
anyway had a similar incident doing taekwondo as well, but i had uber micro skeelz and shoved the general under my belt, then it was all good.
On October 29 2006 22:01 Kingkosi wrote: Ok this story envolves me but the embarrising moment happend to my friend. We were sitting in his room playing Socom 3 and we were bored of course and he tells me that his dad has viagre and that we should take some and had to the mall. so he breaks in his dads room and stills 2 capsules. now at first im reluctint to take it because my Unit works fine and i didnt want it to get damaged but never the less i took my pill ( well half) and him his and we headed towards the Galleria (the mall). Me wisely wore pants that were some-what tight enough to block my erection although it did look like i had a pole taped agains my inner thigh but my friend wore Basketball shorts that are elastic so his Unit was peaking for pretty much any one to see. So we had down the Escaltors and going up are a group of barley dressed Females, i began to pre-ejaculate but my friend however began to literally burst we reached the bottom and he ran behind a showcase CR-V and began to dispell all of hisman juice on the vehicle, i laughed people stared and he was standing still behind the Car. We ammediatly walked home erections and stains in all...
LIRL!!!!! My god that is the best convo I've heard/read in quite a while I must say.. hahaha. HILARIOUS.. I've read it like 10 times now, can't get enough!
On October 29 2006 22:01 Kingkosi wrote: are a group of barley dressed Females, i began to pre-ejaculate but my friend however began to literally burst we reached the bottom and he ran behind a showcase CR-V and began to dispell all of hisman juice on the vehicle, i laughed people stared and he was standing still behind the Car. We ammediatly walked home erections and stains in all...
so you two start cumming just from the sight of girls? or is that what the mighty V does?
anyway had a similar incident doing taekwondo as well, but i had uber micro skeelz and shoved the general under my belt, then it was all good.
I think it is the Mighty V we have taken it after are first incident and it continues to happen although for myself i have never taken a full capsule
I think it's only fair I share one of my own morning wood stories. Except I think mine is far less awkward than the hi I showed charlie to my roommate.
A week after missions had ended, I was staying at a hyeong's apartment in San Diego until I went back to NorCal. There were about 5 hyeongs who lived with me at the time. Unfortunately I was HELLA jet lagged and I was seriously sleeping in the middle of the day and wide awake in the middle of the night. So I go work out and come back in my Under Armour shorts and cut offs. I hard boil some eggs and drink some of my protein powder. I watch some Family Guy and just knock out in front of the TV with a blanked over me.
Mind you, I'm living with like 6 Christian hyeongs. A few hours into my sleep I get hit by something and I wake up in pain.
AUGHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL????????
Apparently I had created a large tent for my pelvic area and the hyeongs decided to drop a deck of cards on it. It hurt like hell.
The next day at church, nearly ALL the hyeongs heard about my "morning glory." Goodness how embarassing, especially at church.
On October 29 2006 20:11 pubbanana wrote: I remember my first time watching a little video called "ep-sample.avi" around 4-5 years ago. That is by and far the absolute nastiest shit I have ever witnessed. I'm not being cute, it was fucking disgusting in every interpretation of the word. I felt like I had been struck lightning or something. I couldn't see certain colors for a while and I had a strange peanut-buttery taste in the back of my mouth.
So, yeah. If you ever want a memory that will serve to kill a boner any time, any where, go track down that little number.
And yes, it is something that Japanese people did.
oh. my. god.
I just want to say that I had thought I'd seen the most vile disgusting things imaginable and been unphazed, but no. I had to go search that out. Wow. I can't say any more. I have bile rising up in my throat. I actually had to look away at parts. I can't beleive this day has truly come
edit: I just went to go have a smoke and puked. This truly is the most disgusting thing on internet
On October 30 2006 22:52 jkillashark wrote: I think it's only fair I share one of my own morning wood stories. Except I think mine is far less awkward than the hi I showed charlie to my roommate.
A week after missions had ended, I was staying at a hyeong's apartment in San Diego until I went back to NorCal. There were about 5 hyeongs who lived with me at the time. Unfortunately I was HELLA jet lagged and I was seriously sleeping in the middle of the day and wide awake in the middle of the night. So I go work out and come back in my Under Armour shorts and cut offs. I hard boil some eggs and drink some of my protein powder. I watch some Family Guy and just knock out in front of the TV with a blanked over me.
Mind you, I'm living with like 6 Christian hyeongs. A few hours into my sleep I get hit by something and I wake up in pain.
AUGHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL????????
Apparently I had created a large tent for my pelvic area and the hyeongs decided to drop a deck of cards on it. It hurt like hell.
The next day at church, nearly ALL the hyeongs heard about my "morning glory." Goodness how embarassing, especially at church.
On October 29 2006 20:11 pubbanana wrote: I remember my first time watching a little video called "ep-sample.avi" around 4-5 years ago. That is by and far the absolute nastiest shit I have ever witnessed. I'm not being cute, it was fucking disgusting in every interpretation of the word. I felt like I had been struck lightning or something. I couldn't see certain colors for a while and I had a strange peanut-buttery taste in the back of my mouth.
So, yeah. If you ever want a memory that will serve to kill a boner any time, any where, go track down that little number.
And yes, it is something that Japanese people did.
oh. my. god.
I just want to say that I had thought I'd seen the most vile disgusting things imaginable and been unphazed, but no. I had to go search that out. Wow. I can't say any more. I have bile rising up in my throat. I actually had to look away at parts. I can't beleive this day has truly come
edit: I just went to go have a smoke and puked. This truly is the most disgusting thing on internet
On October 29 2006 21:22 Hot_Bid wrote: one time it was late after a party and one of my female friends didn't want to go back to her place, so we ended up sleeping in the same bed and i guess spooning or whatever a bit, and i got this raging hardon and im pretty sure it was pressed directly against her butt.
anyway it was awkward as hell for about 2 minutes or so with my dick pressed directly against her buttcheeks, and i was thinking about what to say or whatever to diffuse the situation (the erection just WOULD NOT go away, she had a really nice body) and suddenly, she farts. i mean not a loud whatever fart but a tiny one but we both definitely heard it, and she goes:
her: "haha sorry [for the fart]. oh, also, thats your penis right." me: yes. her: "ok just checking. good night."
Oh my gosh. Hotbid, that just made my day. Wow hahahaha
i thought it was mrs. peacock in the conservatory with the candlestick, but it turned out it was professor plum in the dining room with the revolver. so i got really enraged?
On October 31 2006 14:19 CC Rider wrote: i thought it was mrs. peacock in the conservatory with the candlestick, but it turned out it was professor plum in the dining room with the revolver. so i got really enraged?
I am satisfied with good-old regular porn, and rather have sex like most normal people. Never felt the need to go bit extreme, but why do I have to be the nasty one to provide such a link??? Why did I search for this in the first place? I don't know. All I wanted to do in TL, was to translate some interviews and hone my translating skill. I am growing up? all of a sudden? -_- at the age of 26??
Japan actually has a birthrate of 1.25, whereas a level of 2.1 is needed to maintain a healthy population. It also has the highest level of old people in the world, with over 20% being 65+.
I imagine it has something to do with the fact that Japan believes sperm belongs on the face, armpit, nostril, fingernails, hair... basically anywhere other than the uterus.
I really want to see that video, but I am at work on a school computer.
On October 31 2006 16:28 rinizim wrote: I am satisfied with good-old regular porn, and rather have sex like most normal people. Never felt the need to go bit extreme, but why do I have to be the nasty one to provide such a link??? Why did I search for this in the first place? I don't know. All I wanted to do in TL, was to translate some interviews and hone my translating skill. I am growing up? all of a sudden? -_- at the age of 26??
Well it's good to see his body's natural gag defense is still in order. In all honesty, the penis mutilation was more disturbing than this. Plus, this isnt really all that shocking for anyone who has seen scat porn before. I mean thats all it is, regular run of the mill scat..... i cant believe i said that...
I will say though, i am slightly queasy from this, and have a sudden case of the chills... do not watch this unless you honestly can proclaim you have seen "everything"..
On October 31 2006 16:28 rinizim wrote: I am satisfied with good-old regular porn, and rather have sex like most normal people. Never felt the need to go bit extreme, but why do I have to be the nasty one to provide such a link??? Why did I search for this in the first place? I don't know. All I wanted to do in TL, was to translate some interviews and hone my translating skill. I am growing up? all of a sudden? -_- at the age of 26??
Well it's good to see his body's natural gag defense is still in order. In all honesty, the penis mutilation was more disturbing than this. Plus, this isnt really all that shocking for anyone who has seen scat porn before. I mean thats all it is, regular run of the mill scat..... i cant believe i said that...
I will say though, i am slightly queasy from this, and have a sudden case of the chills... do not watch this unless you honestly can proclaim you have seen "everything"..
Can't tell if it's a greater feat of self control not to click, or to watch without throwing up.
On October 31 2006 16:53 Manifesto7 wrote: Japan actually has a birthrate of 1.25, whereas a level of 2.1 is needed to maintain a healthy population. It also has the highest level of old people in the world, with over 20% being 65+.
I imagine it has something to do with the fact that Japan believes sperm belongs on the face, armpit, nostril, fingernails, hair... basically anywhere other than the uterus.
I really want to see that video, but I am at work on a school computer.
Do I click?
No, don't watch it at the school computer. I would also tell you not to watch it period, but I know that a battle against human curiosity is a losing one ...
It's a really unsettling thought to know that the people in that video are living their lives somewhere in this world. Imagine what that must be like. The guy wakes up, has breakfast, maybe kisses his wife if he's married, goes to work, and somewhere in his mind is the memory of that time when he ate some woman's shit ... I just ... I don't even know why it's so disturbing to me, it just is.
On October 31 2006 17:23 pubbanana wrote: No, don't watch it at the school computer. I would also tell you not to watch it period, but I know that a battle against human curiosity is a losing one ...
It's a really unsettling thought to know that the people in that video are living their lives somewhere in this world. Imagine what that must be like. The guy wakes up, has breakfast, maybe kisses his wife if he's married, goes to work, and somewhere in his mind is the memory of that time when he ate some woman's shit ... I just ... I don't even know why it's so disturbing to me, it just is.
I was just about to make a post on this exact thing. What is more disturbing to me, is the seemingly normal humanistic personalities they exhibit. They arent crack heads. They arent raving lunatics foaming at the mouth on screen, in a state of shock or delirious hysteria. For all intents and purposes, they seem like they would be normal people outside of this video. I wonder what went so terribly wrong in their lives to lead to this. Ok, i can see the emotionally disturbed woman who is offered $30,000 to just take a shit like any other shit she takes in the day, only this time it's in a guys mouth. Most people would still reject, but theres probably a healthy percentage of those who need money who would agree, just like women who are willing to get fucked for $5000. Cash money. But the guy... jesus what the hell happened to him? I mean, you dont do this for any kind of money. This has to be some sort of personal desire. Even if my family's life was threatened, and i was forced to do this, i would at least be vomiting and crying and such, but this guy just goes straight for it. What a travesty of experiences these people have been through.
The archetypical and fore-running example of japscat. First brought to the world of E/N during the heyday of skank pr0n by the long defunct r33t.org, it then made the rounds through Jimbo's World, Stileproject, PenIsMightier, and eventually everywhere else as well.
Ep-sample is both horrifying and hilarious, and was notable for making people literally vomit on sight (and sound) as a weeny little japanese dude chokes and gags and makes other pitiful noises while eating a disgusting concoction of his own semen and an indifferently unattractive woman's feces. It was especially dangerous to the braver-than-they-ought-to-be because the first two minutes of the clip are simply an utterly unappealing small-penis/unattractive-woman blowjob, lulling the viewer into complacence. Unfortunately, as soon as you think nothing truly disgusting is going to happen, such disparate elements as a miniature turkey baster, coprophagy, and the delightful offscreen presence of "Samurai Dad" are introduced, and everything goes horribly, horribly wrong.
In the heyday of open and unworried P2P file sharing, Jimbo used to delight in sharing ep-sample from his Kazaa share as "12yo girl sucks daddy's hard dick" as a sort of Internet "street justice". It was always by far the most heavily downloaded file out of some 20GB of shared mp3's, video clips, and other goodies, often with as many as four or five concurrent downloaders.
Ep-sample is still available at jimbosworld.org, for those who are interested.
On October 31 2006 17:23 pubbanana wrote: No, don't watch it at the school computer. I would also tell you not to watch it period, but I know that a battle against human curiosity is a losing one ...
On the contrary, after seeing goatse, I think it's safe to say I will never be curious again.
On October 31 2006 16:28 rinizim wrote: I am satisfied with good-old regular porn, and rather have sex like most normal people. Never felt the need to go bit extreme, but why do I have to be the nasty one to provide such a link??? Why did I search for this in the first place? I don't know. All I wanted to do in TL, was to translate some interviews and hone my translating skill. I am growing up? all of a sudden? -_- at the age of 26??
The archetypical and fore-running example of japscat. First brought to the world of E/N during the heyday of skank pr0n by the long defunct r33t.org, it then made the rounds through Jimbo's World, Stileproject, PenIsMightier, and eventually everywhere else as well.
Ep-sample is both horrifying and hilarious, and was notable for making people literally vomit on sight (and sound) as a weeny little japanese dude chokes and gags and makes other pitiful noises while eating a disgusting concoction of his own semen and an indifferently unattractive woman's feces. It was especially dangerous to the braver-than-they-ought-to-be because the first two minutes of the clip are simply an utterly unappealing small-penis/unattractive-woman blowjob, lulling the viewer into complacence. Unfortunately, as soon as you think nothing truly disgusting is going to happen, such disparate elements as a miniature turkey baster, coprophagy, and the delightful offscreen presence of "Samurai Dad" are introduced, and everything goes horribly, horribly wrong.
In the heyday of open and unworried P2P file sharing, Jimbo used to delight in sharing ep-sample from his Kazaa share as "12yo girl sucks daddy's hard dick" as a sort of Internet "street justice". It was always by far the most heavily downloaded file out of some 20GB of shared mp3's, video clips, and other goodies, often with as many as four or five concurrent downloaders.
Ep-sample is still available at jimbosworld.org, for those who are interested.
Haha it's like the "Saw" of the internet. That guy sounds devishly brilliant to be able to pull that off. Pretty good "street justice" in my opinion. Still pretty fucked up though :/
I heard it (nasty >< ) but thankfully there was no video. Don't know why but I'm very thankful.
Back on topic.
My worst time was in 9th grade, I had a random bone and the teacher wanted me to get up in front of class and present (horrible timing, we were presenting semester reports). Well, I got up and as I was going I tried to make it not very noticeable and wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and tripped over the the student in front of me (err, their bag I mean). Well, I landed on my area and had to lay there for a while because it hurt so much, the teacher was clueless of why I couldn't get up but everyone else knew T.T.
On October 31 2006 18:25 inertia wrote: I heard it (nasty >< ) but thankfully there was no video. Don't know why but I'm very thankful.
Back on topic.
My worst time was in 9th grade, I had a random bone and the teacher wanted me to get up in front of class and present (horrible timing, we were presenting semester reports). Well, I got up and as I was going I tried to make it not very noticeable and wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and tripped over the the student in front of me (err, their bag I mean). Well, I landed on my area and had to lay there for a while because it hurt so much, the teacher was clueless of why I couldn't get up but everyone else knew T.T.
On October 31 2006 18:25 inertia wrote: I heard it (nasty >< ) but thankfully there was no video. Don't know why but I'm very thankful.
Back on topic.
My worst time was in 9th grade, I had a random bone and the teacher wanted me to get up in front of class and present (horrible timing, we were presenting semester reports). Well, I got up and as I was going I tried to make it not very noticeable and wasn't paying attention to where I was walking and tripped over the the student in front of me (err, their bag I mean). Well, I landed on my area and had to lay there for a while because it hurt so much, the teacher was clueless of why I couldn't get up but everyone else knew T.T.
On October 31 2006 16:28 rinizim wrote: I am satisfied with good-old regular porn, and rather have sex like most normal people. Never felt the need to go bit extreme, but why do I have to be the nasty one to provide such a link??? Why did I search for this in the first place? I don't know. All I wanted to do in TL, was to translate some interviews and hone my translating skill. I am growing up? all of a sudden? -_- at the age of 26??
omfg I just saw EP sample. .... .... I gagged, hit my desk really hard and said wtf is that shit. My roomie already saw Eel Cannons... I'm debating if I show him this or not...
i had a simillar embarassing moment a bit over a year ago. you may say it is opposite to what you guys had...
i used to go out into a park in the center of the city and get wasted almost every night. one such night we gathered in an unusually large number, round 20 of us. also, i got even more drunk than usualy, drank bout 2 bottles of some disgusting white vine and a few beers. as i went to take a piss at the local tree i leaned against it cuz i was drunk out of my skull and couldn't stand on my own feet. next thing i see is a bunch of my friends shaking me and slaping me in the face. it seems i spent over 20 min sleeping and they came looking for me. a friend of mine came closer and whispered "dude, put your dick back in your pants". there now exists a picture (hillarious, btw) of me sleeping leaned to a tree with my dick in my hand. the worse thing is that, since i drank infinite amounts of vine and it was very cold outside, my dick was so fuckin shrunk you could barely see it. quite embarassing, considering that most of my friends there were girls.
SNET YOU LITTLE GIRLY MAN. YOU JERK OFF AND then you get a hard-on in a karate class while you're wrestling with guys? You gotta be gay man, it's only a phase though... So work your way out of it.
LOL HERES MANIFESTO ASking ppl TO JOIN Tl.net Here's what I believe everyone is thinking... Lol? Tl.net staff member? Manifesto who's a complete NOOB who i've OWNED in bw now wants people to join tl.net. Why join a website that NUKES and bans ppl on a daily basis? I see nukes/bans every single day for no apparent reason. Normal blokes just posting to chat some and they get banned and nuked. MANIFESTO you have KILLED TEAM LIQUID. A supporter of the patriot act Manifesto has banned and abused his power - no more battles on the forums. You've all become slaves to his will and simply laugh at his stupid comments. No thanks Manifesto.... You can manage this site yourself since that's the way you like things. And while you gloat and gleam at the innocent victims you've nuked and banned - know this: YOU KILLED TEAM LIQUID.NET
On November 01 2006 14:23 DarkDeadPower wrote: SNET YOU LITTLE GIRLY MAN. YOU JERK OFF AND then you get a hard-on in a karate class while you're wrestling with guys? You gotta be gay man, it's only a phase though... So work your way out of it.
LOL HERES MANIFESTO ASking ppl TO JOIN Tl.net Here's what I believe everyone is thinking... Lol? Tl.net staff member? Manifesto who's a complete NOOB who i've OWNED in bw now wants people to join tl.net. Why join a website that NUKES and bans ppl on a daily basis? I see nukes/bans every single day for no apparent reason. Normal blokes just posting to chat some and they get banned and nuked. MANIFESTO you have KILLED TEAM LIQUID. A supporter of the patriot act Manifesto has banned and abused his power - no more battles on the forums. You've all become slaves to his will and simply laugh at his stupid comments. No thanks Manifesto.... You can manage this site yourself since that's the way you like things. And while you gloat and gleam at the innocent victims you've nuked and banned - know this: YOU KILLED TEAM LIQUID.NET
Hm, Madcow? (Could be either the disease or the player Madcow).
On November 01 2006 14:23 DarkDeadPower wrote: PLEASE BAN ME, OH MY GOD, BAN ME SO HARD, YEAH, HARDER, HARDER I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN BEG FOR YOUR BIG, HARD BAN, PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME
On November 01 2006 14:23 DarkDeadPower wrote: SNET YOU LITTLE GIRLY MAN. YOU JERK OFF AND then you get a hard-on in a karate class while you're wrestling with guys? You gotta be gay man, it's only a phase though... So work your way out of it.
LOL HERES MANIFESTO ASking ppl TO JOIN Tl.net Here's what I believe everyone is thinking... Lol? Tl.net staff member? Manifesto who's a complete NOOB who i've OWNED in bw now wants people to join tl.net. Why join a website that NUKES and bans ppl on a daily basis? I see nukes/bans every single day for no apparent reason. Normal blokes just posting to chat some and they get banned and nuked. MANIFESTO you have KILLED TEAM LIQUID. A supporter of the patriot act Manifesto has banned and abused his power - no more battles on the forums. You've all become slaves to his will and simply laugh at his stupid comments. No thanks Manifesto.... You can manage this site yourself since that's the way you like things. And while you gloat and gleam at the innocent victims you've nuked and banned - know this: YOU KILLED TEAM LIQUID.NET
You do know its not just him that bans/runs the site -_-;.
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=3F4312C87B1214E7 Sea.Lovely (NaDa) vs Sea.Jy TvZ
Ok, just flipped through ep-sample, saw the gross part through -
Eel soup was much much worse, but I think it's because the quality of this movie was bad. I'm feeling chills right now, but not nearly as bad as wtftit.jpg. I mean, this is still bad though, you're definitely in for a shock if you thought goatse was bad.
I think the video would have better impact if it just focused on the scat shit and had higher quality, but perhaps the quality is the video's only redeeming quality. A "sample" of the goods...
Oh, and the goldfish porn is also 10x worse. What the fuck is up with the influx of gross gross videos recently? Crush videos, goldfish shit, hot girls eating praying mantises...
On November 01 2006 14:23 DarkDeadPower wrote: SNET YOU LITTLE GIRLY MAN. YOU JERK OFF AND then you get a hard-on in a karate class while you're wrestling with guys? You gotta be gay man, it's only a phase though... So work your way out of it.
LOL HERES MANIFESTO ASking ppl TO JOIN Tl.net Here's what I believe everyone is thinking... Lol? Tl.net staff member? Manifesto who's a complete NOOB who i've OWNED in bw now wants people to join tl.net. Why join a website that NUKES and bans ppl on a daily basis? I see nukes/bans every single day for no apparent reason. Normal blokes just posting to chat some and they get banned and nuked. MANIFESTO you have KILLED TEAM LIQUID. A supporter of the patriot act Manifesto has banned and abused his power - no more battles on the forums. You've all become slaves to his will and simply laugh at his stupid comments. No thanks Manifesto.... You can manage this site yourself since that's the way you like things. And while you gloat and gleam at the innocent victims you've nuked and banned - know this: YOU KILLED TEAM LIQUID.NET
Hm, Madcow? (Could be either the disease or the player Madcow).
TaeKwonDo uniforms are very unforgiving. They are loose to give your legs and arms free movement, but anything out of the ordinary will surely stand out like a man with an affro at a military gathering.
Slowly a mild sized tent was forming around the groin area. I don't think anyone had noticed yet.. I was trying to gain control, I could not let this get the better of me. Bad thoughts, had to think of bad thoughts. Hairy men, sewage, injuries, nuns, arghhh nothing was working, my special place was starting to grow, and alas my penis had claimed its territory.
On November 01 2006 14:23 DarkDeadPower wrote: SNET YOU LITTLE GIRLY MAN. YOU JERK OFF AND then you get a hard-on in a karate class while you're wrestling with guys? You gotta be gay man, it's only a phase though... So work your way out of it.
i took a pic of myself on my cell phone, sent it to this girl, only to find out that she changed her number and some random person is now getting a pix message at 2 am of my raging clue
On November 02 2006 06:00 likeaboss wrote: i took a pic of myself on my cell phone, sent it to this girl, only to find out that she changed her number and some random person is now getting a pix message at 2 am of my raging clue
EPT
" an then tell the girls if they want to help you whit that, that always work !
![[image loading]](http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/8388/welcometobanlandvr0.jpg)
