Your first shitbox? - Page 4

First I will post parts one and two for all the people who have yet to read them. Then I will post part III. Oh, and get ready for an unbearably huge wall of text. Part three is especially lengthy so try to bear with me. Also, don't expect a summary.

PART I

It all started at the beginning of this year, when during gym class a loud-mouthed fat girl named stephanie approached me and started talking to me. Her constant droning about her boring life didn't really bother me at first, until it started happening every day. Soon, she started treating me like a god, constantly complimenting me and letting me copy her physics homework.Hell, one time i said I needed a pencil in study hall and she went all the way from the first floor to the fifth floor just to get me one. It was painfully obvious that she wanted my bone.

Now, I dont have anything against fat girls, but stephanie is a different kind of fat girl. She never stops talking, and every word that comes out of her mouth is incredibly stupid. Shes loud, and boisterous, and thinks shes the funniest person in the world. She has no friends.

Soon, she starts telling everyone in the school that she "likes me" (i feel like a fourth grader saying that) People tell me that she goes up to random people in the cafeteria, whom she doesnt even know, and tells them that she is in love with me. Soon, random people start ridiculing me about how that fat tub of gravy desperately wants my wang. Soon my friends get hold of this and start giving me hell about it too. One of my friends, who likes to annoy the hell out of everyone decided it would be funny to tell her that i liked her. later that day she called asking me if Iliked her, to which i promptly responded, "NO!." Then her friend called and managed to call me a ******* ***** before i hung up on her. Now by this time Ive had enough of this.

so one night me and a couple of my friends were at my friend phil's house. Phil is one of the most disgusting people i have ever met, and spends his free time searching for the most gruesome, offensive images and videos the internet has to offer. So on this night, phil comes out of the bathroom with a bag of his own feces. He soon comes up with the bright idea of putting his poop inside of a box, wrapping it up,signing it as "from your secret admirer, dont open until christmas" and putting it in stephanie's mail box. So phil gift-wraps the box of poo and smothers it in cologne and lysol to disguise the smell while me and the rest of the gang find her address. it was about 11:30pm, and in no more than 15 minutes we drive to her house to deliver the poo. Upon arrival, it is decided that since she is my problem I should go to her door and deposit the poo in her mail box, which is right beside the door. Nothing could possibly go wrong. So just as i arrive at her door, mystery present in hand, the door bursts open and i see her big fat face with a gaping smile.

"Joe!" (my name) she gleefully exclaimed, "You got me a present!"

I was caught red handed, my initial reaction was to turn back and take the gift with me, as to not hurt her feelings, but there was no turning back now.

"Here you go" i said with a heartfelt smile, extending the present into her hands."dont open until christmas" Ill never forget the look of pure joy on her face, seeing that the present was from her "secret admirer".

She was speechless, she tried to hug me but i stepped back narrowly avoiding human contact with that flabby-assed heifer. I told her that i had to go and quickly shuffled into phil's car where he would drive us to safety.

Despite the fact that she now thinks im her secret admirer, I smile to think that the box of crap is still festering under her Christmas tree to this very day.

have a merry Christmas stephanie!

On August 23 2006 09:21 ahk-gosu wrote:
first time car.

peice of shit that moves on gas.

thats all your gonna really need. try to get driving experience under your belt before you buy anything over 1000 dollars. in my opinon. first car should be less than 1k.

a lot of people wreck their first car and the last thing you want to do is wreck a car you payed 1500 for when you could have wrecked a car that was only 500.

i would reconsider.

On August 24 2006 08:57 YoiChiBow wrote:


For my 16th b-day i got 3 cars. (im the bald kid in the picture :-p )
they are pretty crappy to the ones i have now tho.