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LGBT Rights and Gender Equality Thread - Page 122

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Darkwhite
Profile Joined June 2007
Norway352 Posts
August 04 2013 14:03 GMT
#2421
On August 04 2013 23:01 Iyerbeth wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 04 2013 23:00 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:42 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:12 Darkwhite wrote:
The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- discriminate against you on the basis of irrelevant criteria when acting as a professional
- spread falsehoods about you to other people (note: this does not include unpleasant or supposedly irrelevant truths)
- go out of my way to be offensive, intentionally


Thought I'd just translate this bit:

The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights don't kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary
- Support bullying in the same regard as above
- Spread your medical information to others
- Support institutionalised transphobia
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity



I think that's all true, but I thought it looked better when it was a little clearer.


Yes, translating Your rights kick in if I violate your personal space to Your rights don't kick in if I violate your personal space cleared everything up.


You're right, I missed a single word.


I also like to spend my time misrepresenting other people's views without proof reading. If they express opinions which I think seem odd, I prefer to put words into their mouth rather than ask them to clarify.
Darker than the sun's light; much stiller than the storm - slower than the lightning; just like the winter warm.
Iyerbeth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
England2410 Posts
August 04 2013 14:05 GMT
#2422
On August 04 2013 23:03 Darkwhite wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 04 2013 23:01 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:00 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:42 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:12 Darkwhite wrote:
The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- discriminate against you on the basis of irrelevant criteria when acting as a professional
- spread falsehoods about you to other people (note: this does not include unpleasant or supposedly irrelevant truths)
- go out of my way to be offensive, intentionally


Thought I'd just translate this bit:

The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights don't kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary
- Support bullying in the same regard as above
- Spread your medical information to others
- Support institutionalised transphobia
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity



I think that's all true, but I thought it looked better when it was a little clearer.


Yes, translating Your rights kick in if I violate your personal space to Your rights don't kick in if I violate your personal space cleared everything up.


You're right, I missed a single word.


I also like to spend my time misrepresenting other people's views without proof reading. If they express opinions which I think seem odd, I prefer to put words into their mouth rather than ask them to clarify.


Feel free to show where I misrepresented you, I believe that is an honest interpretation of that bit and the other posts in that conversation.
♥ Liquid`Sheth ♥ Liquid`TLO ♥
Darkwhite
Profile Joined June 2007
Norway352 Posts
August 04 2013 14:47 GMT
#2423
On August 04 2013 23:05 Iyerbeth wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 04 2013 23:03 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:01 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:00 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:42 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:12 Darkwhite wrote:
The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- discriminate against you on the basis of irrelevant criteria when acting as a professional
- spread falsehoods about you to other people (note: this does not include unpleasant or supposedly irrelevant truths)
- go out of my way to be offensive, intentionally


Thought I'd just translate this bit:

The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights don't kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary
- Support bullying in the same regard as above
- Spread your medical information to others
- Support institutionalised transphobia
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity



I think that's all true, but I thought it looked better when it was a little clearer.


Yes, translating Your rights kick in if I violate your personal space to Your rights don't kick in if I violate your personal space cleared everything up.


You're right, I missed a single word.


I also like to spend my time misrepresenting other people's views without proof reading. If they express opinions which I think seem odd, I prefer to put words into their mouth rather than ask them to clarify.


Feel free to show where I misrepresented you, I believe that is an honest interpretation of that bit and the other posts in that conversation.


Primarily where you warped an argument for why making a distinction between born females and male to female transsexuals is within my rights, to implying that I found any number of behaviors acceptable. Also, where you tried to extrapolate from a non-exhaustive list about when rights do kick in, that I find a number of other things acceptable. My list does not explicitly mention that you have a right to not be filmed in public bathrooms. It takes either dishonesty or outright stupidity to jump to the conclusion that I don't consider this a right.

In further detail; Formatting is weird here because some people insist on putting original text into quotes:
Your rights don't kick in if I:
- don't violate your personal space : this is blatantly false; A->B != not A -> not B
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job : same logic flaw as above
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary : propping up bigotry is to fuzzy for me to hold any opinions on; pretending all evidence demands that I lump born women and male to female transsexuals in the same category is outright false
- Support bullying in the same regard as above : too fuzzy, I find any sort of bullying unacceptable, but I don't take much responsibility for what others might take as support for their own bullying
- Spread your medical information to others : I am honestly not certain what private details about others you have a right to disclose to third parties, somebody else will have to clear this up
- Support institutionalised transphobia : too fuzzy
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else : this I actually agree with - I can refuse to have any female, black, jewish or transsexual friends, literally without violating anybody's rights - I can treat a small subset of women I find sexually attractive entirely different than other women, without having to listen to anybody whining about their rights
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity : 'Accidentally' is too ambiguous - demanding that I match my perception of your identity with your own perception of your identity is not within your rights
Darker than the sun's light; much stiller than the storm - slower than the lightning; just like the winter warm.
killa_robot
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada1884 Posts
August 04 2013 15:19 GMT
#2424
On August 04 2013 22:12 Darkwhite wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 04 2013 12:02 fugs wrote:
On August 04 2013 11:54 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 10:36 fugs wrote:
On August 04 2013 10:04 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 09:01 MidKnight wrote:
On August 04 2013 08:26 Seam wrote:
On August 04 2013 08:01 GGTeMpLaR wrote:
On August 04 2013 07:55 Snusmumriken wrote:
On August 04 2013 07:41 Iyerbeth wrote:
[quote]

I didn't take the Christian point in to consideration as I wouldn't know how to having no real idea what it would mean, or if there could be some kind of standard response. I said the promiscuity one was a phobia in that instance, because the person knew their prospective partner was now completely monogomous. If someone is monogomous and you fear them cheating on you, that's an irrational fear. It probably has a rational basis, and I could understand someone being cautious about it, but the example was very specific in it's question which I read as thus:

"Person A wouldn't cheat. Person B knows person A wouldn't cheat. Person B fears person A will cheat. Is this rational?"

Edit:

[quote]

I would say probably, but it needn't necessarily be a transphobia.


You read the christian example correctly. It wasnt a great analogy either, its really hard to completely lock down every possibility in hypotheticals :/

Im still not sure if simply being irrational in their sexual preferences is enough for someone to be having a phobia. For me there would have to be irrational fear and/or disgust involved. Ill think about this a bit more though.

Lets assume Mr Bean is dating a beautiful woman. She has told him she has AIS (ie she is xy) and he knows all the implications. Hes allright with that, no problem. Eventually she finds out she actually doesnt have AIS but is transgender (lets assume she has amnesia so she actually didnt remember her past). She tells Mr Bean and he is turned off all of a sudden.

That, to me, is transphobia


What is AIS and the significance of it?

See when I hear things like homophobia or transphobia, I think at the very least you have to actually dislike someone because of the fact that they are homosexual or transsexual, maybe even go so far as thinking they are less human, deserve less rights, or want to commit hate crimes against them.

If you just aren't attracted to them, it just seems a matter of personal preferences that need not necessarily be motivated by irrational fears (although I won't deny it's possible that they could be, I won't say it's necessarily the case that they need be either).


I personally don't see anything wrong with simply not being attracted to anyone...
I'm trans. Some people wouldn't want to date someone who's trans, and that's fine.

Just like some people don't want to date someone who is a guy or girl. Some people don't want to date people with red hair, or green eyes.

Everyone has preferences, and I don't see what someone finds unattractive to be the same as a phobia.

I still think that if one wants to be a decent human being, they should try to think about the situation and try to change that about themselves rather than just relegate it to "that's my preference and that's good enough".


Before I jump to any conclusions, is this a correct interpretation?
- If you wish to have your penis surgically altered into a vagina and take hormones to alter your sexual characteristics, that's a rational preference which you are free to embrace
- If you do not want to have sex with a transsexual, you are not a decent human being unless you actively try to change your irrational preferences


It's a medical issue that's been well documented and studied so yes, just as rational as taking care of a cleft palate as it's unsightly and causes emotional distress. The surgery isn't necessary to everyone but it will make the person's life better which is why it's rational.

I really can not wrap my head around why people can't see trans women as just women and it confuses me as to why it's such a big problem.


I am fine with people having any preference and acting on it however they want, short of impinging on other people's basic rights. I don't even think people need medical documentation to justify their preferences. If somebody tells me he enjoys getting spat in the eyes, I will respect that without further ado. I will not feel obliged to personally do any spitting.

The first part where there's a problem, is where somebody labels a preference as irrational and indecent. It is particularly ironic in this thread, where people should know the problems with people thinking they have the right to police other people's sexual lives.

The second part where there's a problem, is where you try to dictate what sort of distinctions I am allowed to care about and demand that I use the same word for two things I consider conceptually different. I reserve the right to draw a distinction between natural born women and male to female transsexuals if this seems meaningful to me, regardless of how meaningless you might find it.

I do not want to violate anybody's basic rights based on this distinction, nor do I suggest that the law should differentiate on this basis.


You can think whatever you want, if you want to think that all people are really carrots then by all means do so; but I don't think that gives you the right to deny someone's identity based on your own personal beliefs.


There is a difference between being wrong about facts, i.e. people being carrots, and making a distinction some people consider irrelevant, i.e. transsexuality.

If somebody was born in Texas, lived most of his life in Texas and really enjoys rodeo, I will call him a Texan whenever that seems pertinent, even if he's now moved to Boston and self-identifies as just an American. Note that if I went around calling him a New Yorker, despite knowing him to not be one, just because I perceived him as one - that would be me being an idiot.

If somebody used to be a serial rapist, but is currently not raping and has no immediate plans for future rape, I am honestly not going to care if he self-identifies as just a normal person, even if that hurts his feelings.

If a guy took steroids to build his muscles, even if I really, honestly can't tell by look or feel, even if I had to use my time machine to discover this fact, I am still going to call him a steroid user, regardless of how many arguments he presents about his present body being indistinguishable from a natural one and his medical history being none of my business.

The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights kick in if I:
- violate your personal space
- discriminate against you on the basis of irrelevant criteria when acting as a professional
- spread falsehoods about you to other people (note: this does not include unpleasant or supposedly irrelevant truths)
- go out of my way to be offensive, intentionally


Fugs is making an emotional argument, not a rational one. Basically, by refusing to treat her as a normal woman, you're rejecting everything she went through to get to this point, and causing her even more distress.

Imagine if you wanted something your whole life, went through an immense amount of effort and pain to obtain it, and once you did finally obtain it, everyone around you went "Nope, doesn't count", and that's pretty much the situation. The actual argument is largely circular as well:

"I'm a woman, so treat me like one."
"But you were originally a man."
"But I'm a woman now."
"But you were originally a man."
"But I'm a woman now."

And it just continues. Not that you need to bend to her will and treat her like a normal woman just because she wants to be treated that way, just keep in mind this isn't a simple matter of perception. There's a very good reason the transwomen in this thread are getting so worked up.
Iyerbeth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
England2410 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-04 15:29:18
August 04 2013 15:24 GMT
#2425
On August 04 2013 23:47 Darkwhite wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 04 2013 23:05 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:03 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:01 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:00 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:42 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:12 Darkwhite wrote:
The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- discriminate against you on the basis of irrelevant criteria when acting as a professional
- spread falsehoods about you to other people (note: this does not include unpleasant or supposedly irrelevant truths)
- go out of my way to be offensive, intentionally


Thought I'd just translate this bit:

The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights don't kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary
- Support bullying in the same regard as above
- Spread your medical information to others
- Support institutionalised transphobia
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity



I think that's all true, but I thought it looked better when it was a little clearer.


Yes, translating Your rights kick in if I violate your personal space to Your rights don't kick in if I violate your personal space cleared everything up.


You're right, I missed a single word.


I also like to spend my time misrepresenting other people's views without proof reading. If they express opinions which I think seem odd, I prefer to put words into their mouth rather than ask them to clarify.


Feel free to show where I misrepresented you, I believe that is an honest interpretation of that bit and the other posts in that conversation.


Primarily where you warped an argument for why making a distinction between born females and male to female transsexuals is within my rights, to implying that I found any number of behaviors acceptable. Also, where you tried to extrapolate from a non-exhaustive list about when rights do kick in, that I find a number of other things acceptable. My list does not explicitly mention that you have a right to not be filmed in public bathrooms. It takes either dishonesty or outright stupidity to jump to the conclusion that I don't consider this a right.

In further detail; Formatting is weird here because some people insist on putting original text into quotes:
Your rights don't kick in if I:
- don't violate your personal space : this is blatantly false; A->B != not A -> not B
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job : same logic flaw as above
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary : propping up bigotry is to fuzzy for me to hold any opinions on; pretending all evidence demands that I lump born women and male to female transsexuals in the same category is outright false
- Support bullying in the same regard as above : too fuzzy, I find any sort of bullying unacceptable, but I don't take much responsibility for what others might take as support for their own bullying
- Spread your medical information to others : I am honestly not certain what private details about others you have a right to disclose to third parties, somebody else will have to clear this up
- Support institutionalised transphobia : too fuzzy
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else : this I actually agree with - I can refuse to have any female, black, jewish or transsexual friends, literally without violating anybody's rights - I can treat a small subset of women I find sexually attractive entirely different than other women, without having to listen to anybody whining about their rights
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity : 'Accidentally' is too ambiguous - demanding that I match my perception of your identity with your own perception of your identity is not within your rights


Ok, so first I knew the list wasn't exhaustive and didn't intend to imply otherwise. The rest I would agree to be correct if I hadn't read your other posts in that conversation, so I'l; demonstrate what I mean.

- don't violate your personal space : this is blatantly false; A->B != not A -> not B


Won't disagree on that one.

- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job : same logic flaw as above


Your posts in that conversation were continually arguing for your right to say trans people are at best a seperate gender, and thus can be discriminated against in your personal life. This is why I believe you took care to mention in a professional role, rather than any other.

- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary : propping up bigotry is to fuzzy for me to hold any opinions on; pretending all evidence demands that I lump born women and male to female transsexuals in the same category is outright false


Propping up bigotry would be such things as arguing that women and other women fall in to one group while other women sharing qualities as both of the previous groups should be treated as an outside group by society so long as they're not legally treated differently.

- Support bullying in the same regard as above : too fuzzy, I find any sort of bullying unacceptable, but I don't take much responsibility for what others might take as support for their own bullying


When you attempt to argue that one group of women should be denied their identity at your discretion and treated as a third or fourth gender, that is bullying. Supporting others do the same so long as it's not in a professional role is supporting bullying.

- Spread your medical information to others : I am honestly not certain what private details about others you have a right to disclose to third parties, somebody else will have to clear this up


You stated you're allowed to say anything about anyone even if they find it unpleasant so long as it's true. This sounded a lot like "I'll tell others you're trans if I find out and am asked or otherwise feel like sharing the gossip". Considering this is such a wide spread problem already, I found it particularly disturbing to actually see it written somewhere.

- Support institutionalised transphobia : too fuzzy


So I actually had two points to post here, but apparently I had misread something - sorry. Suggesting there is nothing wrong with people's 'right' to deny the gender of an individual across society will likely lead to institutionalised transphobia however (similar to the Russian gay thing atm).

- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else : this I actually agree with - I can refuse to have any female, black, jewish or transsexual friends, literally without violating anybody's rights - I can treat a small subset of women I find sexually attractive entirely different than other women, without having to listen to anybody whining about their rights


It's true, I wasn't meaning to suggest you didn't have that right, I was just making what I believe was your intention clearer.

- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity : 'Accidentally' is too ambiguous - demanding that I match my perception of your identity with your own perception of your identity is not within your rights


Again, I really wasn't being sarcastic, you do have that right and it's what you were trying to say when you said the original version "- go out of my way to be offensive, intentionally". That was the point in my translation.

I'll leave this here...

On August 01 2013 06:37 Darkwhite wrote:
People are described as gay or homosexual when people think their sexual orientation matters, too, even though they fit in the wider umbrella of men or even people in other contexts. Is this also a problem?


People are described as cis or trans on the few occasions it matters, too, even though they fit in the wider umbrella of women or even people in other contexts. Is this also a problem?
♥ Liquid`Sheth ♥ Liquid`TLO ♥
Snusmumriken
Profile Joined April 2012
Sweden1717 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-04 17:15:48
August 04 2013 15:42 GMT
#2426
edit: wrong thread
Amove for Aiur
GGTeMpLaR
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States7226 Posts
August 04 2013 16:46 GMT
#2427
I still think it's funny how people think a matter of nonrationality is irrational.
PaNiCterrran
Profile Joined August 2011
Sweden47 Posts
August 04 2013 18:25 GMT
#2428
On August 04 2013 18:06 MidKnight wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 04 2013 17:57 Wombat_NI wrote:
On August 04 2013 17:15 MidKnight wrote:
On August 04 2013 14:15 DeepElemBlues wrote:
On August 04 2013 12:36 shinosai wrote:
I'm not trying to police anyone's sexual life. It is so completely ridiculous that this strawman keeps being made. I don't care who you sleep with. But if you come in here and say you won't sleep with a woman because she's black or a transsexual woman because she is trans, then yea, I'm going to call that indecent. Because you are being prejudiced against someone for nothing other than how they were born. That doesn't mean I'm controlling your sexual life, or that I want to. All it means is that I'm pointing out that your preferences reveal harmful underlying attitudes.

I reserve the right to draw a distinction between natural born women and male to female transsexuals if this seems meaningful to me, regardless of how meaningless you might find it.


And I reserve the right to point out that this distinction has no scientific basis behind it, and contributes to transphobia.


Get out of my bedroom please.

Because no matter how many times you say you aren't going in there, there you are, underneath the bed or in the closet or behind the drapes.

Exactly what harmful underlying attitudes are being revealed by a lack of sexual attraction to a certain classifiable section of humanity.

The exact same kind of crazy you're pushing can also be used against straight people for not being attracted to the same sex or gay people not being attracted to the opposite sex; what kind of harmful underlying attitudes are being revealed there?


You CANNOT come to a thread like this, have a discussion about issues like this and then when someone points out a flaw in your reasoning relegate your argument to "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SEXUAL LIFE!".
What the fuck!

And yeah what Iyerbeth said. If you find someone attractive as a woman and later find out that she's trans and think that's good enough of a reason to IMMEDIATELLY discontinue the relationship for that reason alone, I do see it as a clear connection to transphobia. It's an understandable reaction due to our culture, but I still see it as irrational.

I do believe that if we did some more digging into people's subconscious (including mine) we *would* find thoughts "there's a man in there", "that person once had a penis, that's disgusting", "what will my friends think" and the like.

It's quite possibly transphobic and irrational at a base level, but I draw the line in calling somebody on anything that is essentially beyond their control.

I do realise there's a difference between not being attracted to someone, and being attracted to someone until some reveal. That said, there's a metric fuckton of things I find unattractive, and cannot 'fix' through rational/logical thought processes.

I don't know, I can't really think of an analogy that isn't silly. Closest I can think of is in scifi where you have androids and whatnot. Even if physically and functionally they're indistinguishable, some people will see it as something synthetic and artificial vs 'real' people.

You see it all the time in marketing of things that are 'natural'. For whatever reason this confers positive connotations to a great many people, no matter how irrational that is.


Ok, that's fair. It's possible that for some people it's impossible to fix these subconscious biases and, yeah, maybe calling them transphobic is too harsh, I don't know.

I don't see why you can't call someone phobic due to subconscious fear/discomfort. I am arachnophobic. I don't decide whether or not to be afraid. My fear is irrational as spiders pose no actual threat to me. And yet I have to kill it fucking fast and flush it down the toilet.

Let's assume you run into Megan Fox. And because this is just a made-up scenario, you sleep with her. One week later it is revealed in the papers that Megan Fox was born Magnus Fox. If you, upon knowing this, feel disgust/anger or any other kind of negative emotion upon receiving this information, you are most likely a bit transphobic. You are not necessarily a bad person because of this. You might even be a very tolerant person who vote for LGBT rights etc. but it doesn't change the fact that there would have been no actual difference whether or not Megan was trans, and yet you are moved by the fact that you slept with her. That's how I see it atleast.
One One One Build, To Rule Them All!
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4782 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-04 19:31:35
August 04 2013 19:00 GMT
#2429
On August 04 2013 21:58 shinosai wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 04 2013 18:09 Ghostcom wrote:
On August 04 2013 17:15 MidKnight wrote:
On August 04 2013 14:15 DeepElemBlues wrote:
On August 04 2013 12:36 shinosai wrote:
I'm not trying to police anyone's sexual life. It is so completely ridiculous that this strawman keeps being made. I don't care who you sleep with. But if you come in here and say you won't sleep with a woman because she's black or a transsexual woman because she is trans, then yea, I'm going to call that indecent. Because you are being prejudiced against someone for nothing other than how they were born. That doesn't mean I'm controlling your sexual life, or that I want to. All it means is that I'm pointing out that your preferences reveal harmful underlying attitudes.

I reserve the right to draw a distinction between natural born women and male to female transsexuals if this seems meaningful to me, regardless of how meaningless you might find it.


And I reserve the right to point out that this distinction has no scientific basis behind it, and contributes to transphobia.


Get out of my bedroom please.

Because no matter how many times you say you aren't going in there, there you are, underneath the bed or in the closet or behind the drapes.

Exactly what harmful underlying attitudes are being revealed by a lack of sexual attraction to a certain classifiable section of humanity.

The exact same kind of crazy you're pushing can also be used against straight people for not being attracted to the same sex or gay people not being attracted to the opposite sex; what kind of harmful underlying attitudes are being revealed there?


You CANNOT come to a thread like this, have a discussion about issues like this and then when someone points out a flaw in your reasoning relegate your argument to "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SEXUAL LIFE!".
What the fuck!

And yeah what Iyerbeth said. If you find someone attractive as a woman and later find out that she's trans and think that's good enough of a reason to IMMEDIATELLY discontinue the relationship for that reason alone, I do see it as a clear connection to transphobia. It's an understandable reaction due to our culture, but I still see it as irrational.

I do believe that if we did some more digging into people's subconscious (including mine) we *would* find thoughts "there's a man in there", "that person once had a penis, that's disgusting", "what will my friends think" and the like.


Or we would find thoughts of "This person can never give me kids, and I want a kids" (Whilst this admittedly include some ciswomen, a transgender has an a priori knowledge which ciswomen seldom have). Or we would find thoughts of "this person didn't trust me, does she really feel she can't be honest with me? What else has she lied about?". Both of those reasons SCREAM transphobe right?!

The thing is, there is a choir in this thread who are VERY busy accusing others of being transphobes, when there are in fact plenty of non-transphobic reasons as to why one would immediately break it off with a transgender in the situation outlined.
It is hilarious that those that declare themselves defenders of morality are the ones in this thread wanting to limit the personal freedom of others - to the point where we have had posters stating that they did not care for others freedom as long as they could get their sexytime.
It is an interesting insight into what reactions and treatment from those who so long have been suppressed the "privileged", cisgendered, heterosexuals can expect when they define their own sexuality. It is deplorable and hypocritical. Shame on you.


You are really, really good at changing the discussion from something very specific (not dating someone for an exclusive reason) and then changing that reason to something else. Which is what you did here. We went from "I don't want to date trans people for no other reason than that they are trans" to "I don't want to date trans people because I want kids." The difference seems rather obvious, but it's a very useful diversionary tactic in order to intentionally misrepresent the argument and make it look absurd.


That was my first post in at least 40 pages in this thread. I reacted to someone stating that the only reason behind all unwillingness to date trans genders was transphobia. I gave 2 examples of how that was wrong and now you want to make it seem like I somehow substantially altered the discussion? Talk about using cheap tricks and misrepresenting people.

EDIT: I have reread the post I originally responded as well as my response. I think you misunderstand what I am saying. The post I responded to wrote:

I do believe that if we did some more digging into people's subconscious (including mine) we *would* find thoughts "there's a man in there", "that person once had a penis, that's disgusting", "what will my friends think" and the like


I responded to that part - which even you will have to admit is a more general segment about why people could possibly want not to date transgenders.

EDIT2: I am sorry for not having answered lyerbeth(?) earlier, but was away from a laptop for most of the day. The reason why I think "most" is better and more precise than "almost all the time" might be because I grew up in Copenhagen and now live in San Francisco. There do not seem to be a whole lot of XXXXphobes (except for real medical phobias) around either of those places, so it is based off the transgenders with whom I have had this discussion who listed the 2 examples as their most often heard ones. I thus feel like "almost all the time" is a little excessive. Admittedly I might be biased and it is probably something that fluctuates from location to location.
shinosai
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1577 Posts
August 04 2013 19:33 GMT
#2430
Ghostcom - fair enough. I apologize for any misunderstandings between us.
Be versatile, know when to retreat, and carry a big gun.
Iyerbeth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
England2410 Posts
August 04 2013 19:37 GMT
#2431
On August 05 2013 04:00 Ghostcom wrote:
EDIT2: I am sorry for not having answered lyerbeth(?) earlier, but was away from a laptop for most of the day. The reason why I think "most" is better and more precise than "almost all the time" might be because I grew up in Copenhagen and now live in San Francisco. There do not seem to be a whole lot of XXXXphobes (except for real medical phobias) around either of those places, so it is based off the transgenders with whom I have had this discussion who listed the 2 examples as their most often heard ones. I thus feel like "almost all the time" is a little excessive. Admittedly I might be biased and it is probably something that fluctuates from location to location.


That's actually really good to hear, I hadn't even considered the location issue. I think I'm probably right for where I'm at, but I guess I can't actually extrapolate that for everywhere. If nothing else, it's at least nice to consider it's a bit better elsewhere.
♥ Liquid`Sheth ♥ Liquid`TLO ♥
RaspberrySC2
Profile Joined November 2011
United States168 Posts
August 04 2013 19:39 GMT
#2432
"My Friday Night"
Recounted for those who are obsessively invested in who trans women have sexual encounters with.

Friday night, I went downtown to have my nipples pierced. I arrived at the studio an hour before closing and while there weren't many other people there, I had gotten there just in time to be the last client they would accept for the day. I had to wait for everyone else before me to get their piercings so I was sitting there getting even more anxious about the ordeal. At one point, I considered just leaving because the thought crossed my mind that this was a crazy idea and what was I thinking? The thoughts passed through me, but I remained seated on the lounge.

The last client before me was escorted out of the studio as the piercer, James, was clarifying the aftercare regimen that the client would need to stick to. James locked the door behind the client and turned to me and asked if I was ready and I gave an unsteady nod and a determined smile. He led me to one of the rooms near the front and while I was in there, I could hear a tattoo artist still working on someone near the back.

James asked me to take off my top so he could examine my anatomy and started explaining to me the process and that he had already had two sets of bars disinfecting for me. He told me that the curved bars would be better and that I should lay down on the reclining examination chair. He started manipulating my right nipple to get it as hard and erect as it could and the whole time I was gasping as he was being a little rough with it. By this point I had been keeping my eyes closed. Eventually I felt a firmer grip than any either followed by him piercing me. I cried out a few times in extreme pain and moaned loudly in extreme pleasure. Before I finished, he cooed "look at you, you took that like a champ" and I could feel myself smile as my body was washed over with wave after wave of euphoria and I could barely speak much at all. James asked if I wanted a cup of water and I could barely push out a yes as my head nodded while my eyes were still rolled back. He patted my shoulder and came back with a cup and placed his hand on the top of my head to let me know he had returned. I think he had noticed how much I was writhing and understood that I was in my own little world.

After I finished the water and come to my senses a bit, he asked if I was ok and ready to do the next one. "Oh, yes~!" I replied enthusiastically and said he'd be right back because he wanted to have another cup of water ready for me.

When he returned, the same song and dance happened again, but this time as he was reaching across to screw the securing balls onto the bar, I found myself nuzzling his forearm with my face and cooing and moaning softly. James let me continue for a while as I sang softly to myself and then he reached down with both of his hands and started massaging my breasts. I could hear his breathing getting heavier and I slowly allowed my eyes to open and as I looked up at him, I could see him smiling warmly down at me. I smiled back and let him continue as I closed my eyes again and reached around the small of his back as I pulled him closer to where I was laying down so I could nuzzle his body. My face eventually pressed against the crotch of his jeans and I could feel his hardness when he gave a small nervous chuckle. I smiled again, but in a few seconds, a foreign laugh came from the back of the studio and snapped me out of my trance and as I realized that we weren't alone, I started to calm down and eventually pulled away.

"I'm sorry" James said, "it just felt like it would be ok to do." I told him it was ok and apologized myself for losing myself in the feelings that overcame me and led to me snuggling his arm in the first place. He assured me it was ok that I did. He changed the subject towards my piercing aftercare as he handed me the cup of water he had prepared. As I admired my new piercings in the mirror and started putting my top back on, he handed me an aftercare pamphlet that he had written his name and personal number on - "call me for anything."

I thanked him for everything and wished him a good night as he led me out the studio door and locked the door behind me.

I stood outside the door for a minute as I processed what had just happened and immediately felt like a guilty rapist because I remembered this thread and the people herein.

This is all a true story except for the last paragraph. I didn't think about this at all until this lazy Sunday afternoon and I thought I might type this up to give an insight into what an actual casual sexual experience is like and how it plays out. If no one else was in the studio, I probably would have given James a hand job at the least if he wanted it because I was that worked up.

If this makes me immoral, I'm ok with that and I'd do it again.
Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential. - Bruce Lee
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4782 Posts
August 04 2013 19:51 GMT
#2433
On August 05 2013 04:33 shinosai wrote:
Ghostcom - fair enough. I apologize for any misunderstandings between us.


I feel like we tend to agree so I kinda assumed that was the case, but I wanted to give props for the apology!

@lyerbeth: I am sad to hear, but suspected as much Oh well, at least some areas are better than others, though sadly none seem to be good.
TheRealArtemis
Profile Joined October 2011
687 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-04 20:03:04
August 04 2013 20:01 GMT
#2434
+ Show Spoiler +
On August 05 2013 04:39 RaspberrySC2 wrote:
"My Friday Night"
Recounted for those who are obsessively invested in who trans women have sexual encounters with.

Friday night, I went downtown to have my nipples pierced. I arrived at the studio an hour before closing and while there weren't many other people there, I had gotten there just in time to be the last client they would accept for the day. I had to wait for everyone else before me to get their piercings so I was sitting there getting even more anxious about the ordeal. At one point, I considered just leaving because the thought crossed my mind that this was a crazy idea and what was I thinking? The thoughts passed through me, but I remained seated on the lounge.

The last client before me was escorted out of the studio as the piercer, James, was clarifying the aftercare regimen that the client would need to stick to. James locked the door behind the client and turned to me and asked if I was ready and I gave an unsteady nod and a determined smile. He led me to one of the rooms near the front and while I was in there, I could hear a tattoo artist still working on someone near the back.

James asked me to take off my top so he could examine my anatomy and started explaining to me the process and that he had already had two sets of bars disinfecting for me. He told me that the curved bars would be better and that I should lay down on the reclining examination chair. He started manipulating my right nipple to get it as hard and erect as it could and the whole time I was gasping as he was being a little rough with it. By this point I had been keeping my eyes closed. Eventually I felt a firmer grip than any either followed by him piercing me. I cried out a few times in extreme pain and moaned loudly in extreme pleasure. Before I finished, he cooed "look at you, you took that like a champ" and I could feel myself smile as my body was washed over with wave after wave of euphoria and I could barely speak much at all. James asked if I wanted a cup of water and I could barely push out a yes as my head nodded while my eyes were still rolled back. He patted my shoulder and came back with a cup and placed his hand on the top of my head to let me know he had returned. I think he had noticed how much I was writhing and understood that I was in my own little world.

After I finished the water and come to my senses a bit, he asked if I was ok and ready to do the next one. "Oh, yes~!" I replied enthusiastically and said he'd be right back because he wanted to have another cup of water ready for me.

When he returned, the same song and dance happened again, but this time as he was reaching across to screw the securing balls onto the bar, I found myself nuzzling his forearm with my face and cooing and moaning softly. James let me continue for a while as I sang softly to myself and then he reached down with both of his hands and started massaging my breasts. I could hear his breathing getting heavier and I slowly allowed my eyes to open and as I looked up at him, I could see him smiling warmly down at me. I smiled back and let him continue as I closed my eyes again and reached around the small of his back as I pulled him closer to where I was laying down so I could nuzzle his body. My face eventually pressed against the crotch of his jeans and I could feel his hardness when he gave a small nervous chuckle. I smiled again, but in a few seconds, a foreign laugh came from the back of the studio and snapped me out of my trance and as I realized that we weren't alone, I started to calm down and eventually pulled away.

"I'm sorry" James said, "it just felt like it would be ok to do." I told him it was ok and apologized myself for losing myself in the feelings that overcame me and led to me snuggling his arm in the first place. He assured me it was ok that I did. He changed the subject towards my piercing aftercare as he handed me the cup of water he had prepared. As I admired my new piercings in the mirror and started putting my top back on, he handed me an aftercare pamphlet that he had written his name and personal number on - "call me for anything."

I thanked him for everything and wished him a good night as he led me out the studio door and locked the door behind me.

I stood outside the door for a minute as I processed what had just happened and immediately felt like a guilty rapist because I remembered this thread and the people herein.

This is all a true story except for the last paragraph. I didn't think about this at all until this lazy Sunday afternoon and I thought I might type this up to give an insight into what an actual casual sexual experience is like and how it plays out. If no one else was in the studio, I probably would have given James a hand job at the least if he wanted it because I was that worked up.

If this makes me immoral, I'm ok with that and I'd do it again.




Felt like reading a dirty novel O_o

Jokes aside.

Its totally up to you. I'm one of those people that want Trans genders to identify themselves before engaging in any type of relationship, but there little to nothing "we"/I can do about it.

But he might not have cared so you shouldn't feel so guilty.

However, cant really say much that hasn't already been said. Other to say If I had been that guy, knowing what I know, I would have been pretty stressed out flirting with someone I know isn't a cis woman. If that is the correct term.
religion is like a prison for the seekers of wisdom
RaspberrySC2
Profile Joined November 2011
United States168 Posts
August 04 2013 20:40 GMT
#2435
On August 05 2013 05:01 TheRealArtemis wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
On August 05 2013 04:39 RaspberrySC2 wrote:
"My Friday Night"
Recounted for those who are obsessively invested in who trans women have sexual encounters with.

Friday night, I went downtown to have my nipples pierced. I arrived at the studio an hour before closing and while there weren't many other people there, I had gotten there just in time to be the last client they would accept for the day. I had to wait for everyone else before me to get their piercings so I was sitting there getting even more anxious about the ordeal. At one point, I considered just leaving because the thought crossed my mind that this was a crazy idea and what was I thinking? The thoughts passed through me, but I remained seated on the lounge.

The last client before me was escorted out of the studio as the piercer, James, was clarifying the aftercare regimen that the client would need to stick to. James locked the door behind the client and turned to me and asked if I was ready and I gave an unsteady nod and a determined smile. He led me to one of the rooms near the front and while I was in there, I could hear a tattoo artist still working on someone near the back.

James asked me to take off my top so he could examine my anatomy and started explaining to me the process and that he had already had two sets of bars disinfecting for me. He told me that the curved bars would be better and that I should lay down on the reclining examination chair. He started manipulating my right nipple to get it as hard and erect as it could and the whole time I was gasping as he was being a little rough with it. By this point I had been keeping my eyes closed. Eventually I felt a firmer grip than any either followed by him piercing me. I cried out a few times in extreme pain and moaned loudly in extreme pleasure. Before I finished, he cooed "look at you, you took that like a champ" and I could feel myself smile as my body was washed over with wave after wave of euphoria and I could barely speak much at all. James asked if I wanted a cup of water and I could barely push out a yes as my head nodded while my eyes were still rolled back. He patted my shoulder and came back with a cup and placed his hand on the top of my head to let me know he had returned. I think he had noticed how much I was writhing and understood that I was in my own little world.

After I finished the water and come to my senses a bit, he asked if I was ok and ready to do the next one. "Oh, yes~!" I replied enthusiastically and said he'd be right back because he wanted to have another cup of water ready for me.

When he returned, the same song and dance happened again, but this time as he was reaching across to screw the securing balls onto the bar, I found myself nuzzling his forearm with my face and cooing and moaning softly. James let me continue for a while as I sang softly to myself and then he reached down with both of his hands and started massaging my breasts. I could hear his breathing getting heavier and I slowly allowed my eyes to open and as I looked up at him, I could see him smiling warmly down at me. I smiled back and let him continue as I closed my eyes again and reached around the small of his back as I pulled him closer to where I was laying down so I could nuzzle his body. My face eventually pressed against the crotch of his jeans and I could feel his hardness when he gave a small nervous chuckle. I smiled again, but in a few seconds, a foreign laugh came from the back of the studio and snapped me out of my trance and as I realized that we weren't alone, I started to calm down and eventually pulled away.

"I'm sorry" James said, "it just felt like it would be ok to do." I told him it was ok and apologized myself for losing myself in the feelings that overcame me and led to me snuggling his arm in the first place. He assured me it was ok that I did. He changed the subject towards my piercing aftercare as he handed me the cup of water he had prepared. As I admired my new piercings in the mirror and started putting my top back on, he handed me an aftercare pamphlet that he had written his name and personal number on - "call me for anything."

I thanked him for everything and wished him a good night as he led me out the studio door and locked the door behind me.

I stood outside the door for a minute as I processed what had just happened and immediately felt like a guilty rapist because I remembered this thread and the people herein.

This is all a true story except for the last paragraph. I didn't think about this at all until this lazy Sunday afternoon and I thought I might type this up to give an insight into what an actual casual sexual experience is like and how it plays out. If no one else was in the studio, I probably would have given James a hand job at the least if he wanted it because I was that worked up.

If this makes me immoral, I'm ok with that and I'd do it again.




Felt like reading a dirty novel O_o

Jokes aside.

Its totally up to you. I'm one of those people that want Trans genders to identify themselves before engaging in any type of relationship, but there little to nothing "we"/I can do about it.

But he might not have cared so you shouldn't feel so guilty.

However, cant really say much that hasn't already been said. Other to say If I had been that guy, knowing what I know, I would have been pretty stressed out flirting with someone I know isn't a cis woman. If that is the correct term.


If it felt like reading a dirty novel, then I at least managed to get some of the feeling and emotion involved across.

The point that I'm getting across is that being in the moment and passionate from a place of loving feeling is very very different than fear-based analysis far removed from reality.

At no point did it cross my mind to stop what we were doing so that I could pull out a mental meta-morality chart to discuss with my partner-in-the-moment. Lust, emotion, and all-around good feelings were what ruled there. It was a very human experience where neither of us felt compelled to dive into potential hangups and discuss fears because there was none there.

It's ok to feel weird or stressed because it's processing, I just merely encourage that anyone going through it own their own emotions and allow themselves to process through a filter of love instead of a filter of fear.
Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential. - Bruce Lee
Darkwhite
Profile Joined June 2007
Norway352 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-08-05 00:10:20
August 05 2013 00:05 GMT
#2436
On August 05 2013 00:24 Iyerbeth wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 04 2013 23:47 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:05 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:03 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:01 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 23:00 Darkwhite wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:42 Iyerbeth wrote:
On August 04 2013 22:12 Darkwhite wrote:
The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- discriminate against you on the basis of irrelevant criteria when acting as a professional
- spread falsehoods about you to other people (note: this does not include unpleasant or supposedly irrelevant truths)
- go out of my way to be offensive, intentionally


Thought I'd just translate this bit:

The idea that you have any right to dictate how other people are allowed to perceive you is outright preposterous. Your rights don't kick in if I:

- violate your personal space
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary
- Support bullying in the same regard as above
- Spread your medical information to others
- Support institutionalised transphobia
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity



I think that's all true, but I thought it looked better when it was a little clearer.


Yes, translating Your rights kick in if I violate your personal space to Your rights don't kick in if I violate your personal space cleared everything up.


You're right, I missed a single word.


I also like to spend my time misrepresenting other people's views without proof reading. If they express opinions which I think seem odd, I prefer to put words into their mouth rather than ask them to clarify.


Feel free to show where I misrepresented you, I believe that is an honest interpretation of that bit and the other posts in that conversation.


Primarily where you warped an argument for why making a distinction between born females and male to female transsexuals is within my rights, to implying that I found any number of behaviors acceptable. Also, where you tried to extrapolate from a non-exhaustive list about when rights do kick in, that I find a number of other things acceptable. My list does not explicitly mention that you have a right to not be filmed in public bathrooms. It takes either dishonesty or outright stupidity to jump to the conclusion that I don't consider this a right.

In further detail; Formatting is weird here because some people insist on putting original text into quotes:
Your rights don't kick in if I:
- don't violate your personal space : this is blatantly false; A->B != not A -> not B
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job : same logic flaw as above
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary : propping up bigotry is to fuzzy for me to hold any opinions on; pretending all evidence demands that I lump born women and male to female transsexuals in the same category is outright false
- Support bullying in the same regard as above : too fuzzy, I find any sort of bullying unacceptable, but I don't take much responsibility for what others might take as support for their own bullying
- Spread your medical information to others : I am honestly not certain what private details about others you have a right to disclose to third parties, somebody else will have to clear this up
- Support institutionalised transphobia : too fuzzy
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else : this I actually agree with - I can refuse to have any female, black, jewish or transsexual friends, literally without violating anybody's rights - I can treat a small subset of women I find sexually attractive entirely different than other women, without having to listen to anybody whining about their rights
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity : 'Accidentally' is too ambiguous - demanding that I match my perception of your identity with your own perception of your identity is not within your rights


Ok, so first I knew the list wasn't exhaustive and didn't intend to imply otherwise. The rest I would agree to be correct if I hadn't read your other posts in that conversation, so I'l; demonstrate what I mean.

Show nested quote +
- don't violate your personal space : this is blatantly false; A->B != not A -> not B


Won't disagree on that one.


Then stop pretending you are qualified translate my posts. I am not at all fine with such rhetorical nonsense. If you want to extrapolate something beyond what I write, then ask a question and I will tell you my opinion myself. Stop pretending people mean completely different things than what they actually write, even if that makes it easier to argue with them.


Show nested quote +
- Discriminate against you on the basis of whatever I want so long as I can't lose my job : same logic flaw as above


Your posts in that conversation were continually arguing for your right to say trans people are at best a seperate gender, and thus can be discriminated against in your personal life. This is why I believe you took care to mention in a professional role, rather than any other.


At best? I am not making any value judgement, this is stitched from whole cloth. There is nothing inherently more noble about being a natural born woman than a male to female transsexual. I neither want to nor need to dictate what gender a transsexual belongs to, that's a matter of semantics and perceptions which will go nowhere. I want there to be words I can use to make the distinction, without being censored as offensive.

I took care to mention professional, because your right to be treated as an equal only extends to people acting in a professional capacity, not their private lives. It means that, if I am recruiting a new manager, I am not allowed to discriminate on criteria which aren't relevant to the candidate's capacity to fill the position. It means if I'm selling gas, I can't turn you away based on your religious affiliation. I can't build a museum which only admits women.

You have no such rights when you deal with people in private. This is important. While I am not allowed to not hire someone simply because I perceive him as ugly, I have every right to not be friends with him or refuse to have sexual relations with him. If you want to call this discrimination, then there is a lot of discrimination against less-beautiful, less-witty, less-intelligent, less-pleasant and less-fit people going on. This extremely wide definition of discrimination would mean discrimination isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Show nested quote +
- Prop up bigotry in society by arguing that you aren't a woman, despite all evidence to the contrary : propping up bigotry is to fuzzy for me to hold any opinions on; pretending all evidence demands that I lump born women and male to female transsexuals in the same category is outright false


Propping up bigotry would be such things as arguing that women and other women fall in to one group while other women sharing qualities as both of the previous groups should be treated as an outside group by society so long as they're not legally treated differently.


It is in my right to distinguish between natural born women and male to female transsexuals. You cannot strip me of that right by showing to other people who aren't me violating your rights, maybe because of my propping and supporting which are uselessly vague terms which allow you to accuse anybody of anything.

Show nested quote +
- Support bullying in the same regard as above : too fuzzy, I find any sort of bullying unacceptable, but I don't take much responsibility for what others might take as support for their own bullying


When you attempt to argue that one group of women should be denied their identity at your discretion and treated as a third or fourth gender, that is bullying. Supporting others do the same so long as it's not in a professional role is supporting bullying.


This is mostly a repeat of the above. I would defend people's rights to discriminate against people, for the purposes of friendship, on basis of perceived unpleasantness. I would defend people's rights to discriminate against people, for the purposes of playing bridge, on basis of perceived stupidity. I see no reason why I am not allowed to defend people's rights to discriminate against people, for the purposes of sexual contact, on the basis of perceived transsexuality.

I would stand by that statement, however you shifted the different purposes around to different perceived characteristics.

I find it ironic that allowing people to act on whatever preferences they might happen to have in their personal lives, as long as they respect other people's rights, is supposedly bullying, unlike trying to dictate what other people are allowed to do in private and what preferences they need to try to change lest they be indecent.


Show nested quote +
- Spread your medical information to others : I am honestly not certain what private details about others you have a right to disclose to third parties, somebody else will have to clear this up


You stated you're allowed to say anything about anyone even if they find it unpleasant so long as it's true. This sounded a lot like "I'll tell others you're trans if I find out and am asked or otherwise feel like sharing the gossip". Considering this is such a wide spread problem already, I found it particularly disturbing to actually see it written somewhere.


Your reading comprehension really tried my patience. I talked about your positive right to not have people spread falsehoods about you. The reason you are misinterpreting me is that you very crudely tried to invert a non-exhaustive list about positive rights to pretend everything which didn't show up on the original list is endorsed by me, and that you didn't give me any benefit of doubt when the results were absurd.

Here's an instructive example:
- if Brad Pitt moves in next door, I am allowed to tell my brother That's the guy who starred in Fight Club, even if Brad Pitt is embarrassed about his role in this movie; here, I am passing on public information
- if Brad Pitt visits me and I diagnose him with syphilis, I am not allowed to tell my brother about it; here, I am making confidential information public

I am not sure what the law says about something you tell me in private and instruct me to keep secret, and I suspect this varies based on jurisdiction, but passing it on would regardless be a violation of trust, which I personally don't find acceptable. This is fairly orthogonal to whether I am obligated to call male to female transsexuals women always and in all contexts when doing so does not disclose anything confidential.

Show nested quote +
- Support institutionalised transphobia : too fuzzy


So I actually had two points to post here, but apparently I had misread something - sorry. Suggesting there is nothing wrong with people's 'right' to deny the gender of an individual across society will likely lead to institutionalised transphobia however (similar to the Russian gay thing atm).


I have barely any idea what institutionalized transphobia is supposed to mean. The same goes for denying gender. I will respond if you can describe more precisely what I am supporting, how, and what you think it will lead to, why, preferably without using terms exclusive to gender studies.


Show nested quote +
- Ignore your wishes to be treated like anyone else : this I actually agree with - I can refuse to have any female, black, jewish or transsexual friends, literally without violating anybody's rights - I can treat a small subset of women I find sexually attractive entirely different than other women, without having to listen to anybody whining about their rights


It's true, I wasn't meaning to suggest you didn't have that right, I was just making what I believe was your intention clearer.


I am discussing what rights people have and don't have. There is literally no need to try to bring my intentions into this, except to try to make ad hominem attacks on my character instead of sticking to the actual topic. Stop with the underhanded rhetoric if you want to have a civil discussion. I hope you can distinguish between where I say I can do something without violating people's rights and the fantasy land where this is something I either acutally do or want to do.

Show nested quote +
- 'Accidentally' offend you, say by calling you a man or otherwise working to deny you your identity : 'Accidentally' is too ambiguous - demanding that I match my perception of your identity with your own perception of your identity is not within your rights


Again, I really wasn't being sarcastic, you do have that right and it's what you were trying to say when you said the original version "- go out of my way to be offensive, intentionally". That was the point in my translation.


I have never said that it's okay to on purpose accidentally offend anybody. I refuse to have this nonsense assigned to me as my opinion, particularly with an intentionally ambiguous phrasing like 'accidentally' which everybody will interpret however they want.

Because any ambiguity will clearly be interpreted as uncharitably as possible, I will take the time to clarify:
- If you cause offense by misunderstanding social codes, you are not violating anybody's rights, though you might be an awkward person
- If you cause offense by being wrong about facts, you are not violating anybody's rights, though you might be uninformed, unobservant or unintelligent
- If you cause offense because every reasonable way to talk about a concept will cause offense, and you have a valid reason to talk about the concept, you are not violating anybody's rights

- If you cause offense on purpose, when you didn't need to, but simply wanted to hurt someone, you are violating somebody's rights
- If you cause offense on purpose, yet try to feign innocence, for instance by claiming the excusable offensiveness of (1-3), you are violating somebody's rights

- If you take offense on purpose, in an attempt to regulate what other people are allowed to think or say, you are violating somebody's freedoms of thought and speech, which are more important than your right to not be offended


I'll leave this here...

Show nested quote +
On August 01 2013 06:37 Darkwhite wrote:
People are described as gay or homosexual when people think their sexual orientation matters, too, even though they fit in the wider umbrella of men or even people in other contexts. Is this also a problem?


People are described as cis or trans on the few occasions it matters, too, even though they fit in the wider umbrella of women or even people in other contexts. Is this also a problem?


I can't see any problem with that, as long as people are individually allowed to decide when they want to make the distinction without being under the scrutiny of the offensiveness police. Furthermore, this isn't a permissible loophole for people to deliberately misinform by hiding under a wider umbrella term or a different interpretation: see Bill Clinton's I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

Edit: Fixed an example which was ambiguous about the professional/private distinction.
Darker than the sun's light; much stiller than the storm - slower than the lightning; just like the winter warm.
fugs
Profile Joined April 2012
United States135 Posts
August 05 2013 00:29 GMT
#2437
I wonder if people still question the validity of that 50% suicide rate ratio for trans people. Yeah keep fighting over their identity you're doing the world a favor after all, right?
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4782 Posts
August 05 2013 00:32 GMT
#2438
On August 05 2013 09:29 fugs wrote:
I wonder if people still question the validity of that 50% suicide rate ratio for trans people. Yeah keep fighting over their identity you're doing the world a favor after all, right?


Outstanding argumentation you got going on there.
fugs
Profile Joined April 2012
United States135 Posts
August 05 2013 00:34 GMT
#2439
On August 05 2013 09:32 Ghostcom wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 09:29 fugs wrote:
I wonder if people still question the validity of that 50% suicide rate ratio for trans people. Yeah keep fighting over their identity you're doing the world a favor after all, right?


Outstanding argumentation you got going on there.


Oh yeah, hard to argue with death.
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4782 Posts
August 05 2013 00:49 GMT
#2440
On August 05 2013 09:34 fugs wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 05 2013 09:32 Ghostcom wrote:
On August 05 2013 09:29 fugs wrote:
I wonder if people still question the validity of that 50% suicide rate ratio for trans people. Yeah keep fighting over their identity you're doing the world a favor after all, right?


Outstanding argumentation you got going on there.


Oh yeah, hard to argue with death.


Yes because what this thread needs is more pathos and less logos. Keep it up.
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