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This book is an A to Z list of things that define being a man. So far I have read A and B and this is the single most hilarious thing I have ever read.
This thread is to discuss the awesomeness of the book. I will continue to update this thread as I finish chapters, the book is that fucking good.
Polls below, as always:
Poll: Do You have the Alphabet of Manliness
(Vote): Yes!
(Vote): I pre-ordered it
(Vote): I'm going to get it, and should get it sooner if I know what's good for me
(Vote): I might get it, I have womanly indecision
(Vote): I don't think I'm going to get it, I'm too cheap to put down 10 USD for a hardcover Maddox book
(Vote): I'm not going to get it, my girlfriend/wife won't let me
(Vote): I think this book is Satanic, I also understand Ben Affleck being a spokesperson for L'Oreal
Poll: What Do You Think of The Alphabet of Manliness?
(Vote): The Greatest Book Ever
(Vote): Fucking Incredible
(Vote): Awesome
(Vote): Pretty Damn Funny
(Vote): I like it
(Vote): The Wrong Answer
EDIT: New quality poll
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Maddox is funny, but I feel sorry for all the people who take whatever he says at all seriously. I know for a fact that there are many, and that's really too bad. And I know what you're going to say: "they're retarded if they take it seriously" or something to that effect. But the fact is that it's as much Maddox's fault as theirs that those people are offended.
I myself find it hard to think he's always 100% kidding. It sounds too bitter to me.
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I never know when he's actually being sarcastic. If he's not serious about the beat your kids article, I will buy the alphabet of manliness.
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Dude obviously he doesn't think you should beat your kids with a PVC pipe. Jesus.
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wtf the book is out alreadY??!??!?!?!?!
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I'm going to get it soon.
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nope, won't get it, but some options on your poll confuse and bewilder.
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I thought it wasn't out till June or something? I pre-ordered it though.
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MURICA15980 Posts
So it's good? I guess I'll have to go order a copy myself.
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I don't know what this book is about, but it sounds like yet another lame attempt at comedy on stereotypes. Educate me.
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On May 22 2006 15:48 Luhh wrote:
I don't know what this book is about, but it sounds like yet another lame attempt at comedy on stereotypes. Educate me.
Dude obviously stereotypes are made fun of. But it's not the core of his humor like other comedians (like Carlos Mencia, who admittedly can be funny)
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Odin - The Patron Saint of Rearranging Your Face
Odin was the manliest of all mythological gods. Nobody even comes close to Odin. Thor? Please. Zeus? Get the fuck out of my office Zeus was possibly the biggest pussy in all of mythology. His specialty was to roll over and take it in the corn hole. Lesser gods such as Ares, Poseidon, and his bitch wife, Hera, were always pushing Zeus around and walking all over him. The only thing Zeus ever did was turn people into rocks or mountains, and he could hurl and occasional lightning bolt. Ooo, a lightning bolt! Oh no, not that, anything but a lightning bolt! Look out, Zeus the all powerful will smite you just as long as you aren't standing next to a long pole.
Unlike Zeus, Odin was a god who could get things done. Odin didn't fuck around with lightning bolts, he took care of the assailants by smothering them with his giant nuts. Odin was the Norse god of war, wisdom, magic, victory, hunting, and poetry. Yes, poetry. Although poetry is pretty much the unmanliest form of writing, Odin was man enough to make even this most effeminate of written forms rock tits. Here's a haiku written by Odin:
I murdered a man
He had a wife and two kids
I slept peacefully.
Here's a poem Odin wrote one day when he ordered a sandwich, and they were out of wheat (Odin eats a diet high in fiber because cholesterol kills):
Bitch, say what?
That's all he wrote before he stomped his foot up her ass and wore her colon around his ankle.
If there was one word to describe Odin, it would be cocksure. Odin had no character flaws, unless you consider an excessively violent response to minor annoyances a character flaw, and I don't. Case in point: One time some guy went to one of Odin's temples to sacrifice himself in an effort to spare his village from the famine that was scientifically proven to be caused by Odin.
The guy tried to impale himself on a large stake, but he lost his balance and fell awkwardly on the pole, causing him to bleed all over the place. When Odin came down to collect the man's soul, he saw the mess and became furious because Odin hates a sloppy sacrifice. Odin was so pissed that he resurrected the man, ate him, and then poked his own eye out and ate it so he could watch the body as he digested it and shit it out.
Seriously, don't fuck around, just buy it now:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/080652720X/sr=8-1/qid=1148337123/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6103613-0778545?_encoding=UTF8
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On May 22 2006 15:54 DTDominion wrote:Show nested quote +Odin - The Patron Saint of Rearranging Your Face
Odin was the manliest of all mythological gods. Nobody even comes close to Odin. Thor? Please. Zeus? Get the fuck out of my office Zeus was possibly the biggest pussy in all of mythology. His specialty was to roll over and take it in the corn hole. Lesser gods such as Ares, Poseidon, and his bitch wife, Hera, were always pushing Zeus around and walking all over him. The only thing Zeus ever did was turn people into rocks or mountains, and he could hurl and occasional lightning bolt. Ooo, a lightning bolt! Oh no, not that, anything but a lightning bolt! Look out, Zeus the all powerful will smite you just as long as you aren't standing next to a long pole.
Unlike Zeus, Odin was a god who could get things done. Odin didn't fuck around with lightning bolts, he took care of the assailants by smothering them with his giant nuts. Odin was the Norse god of war, wisdom, magic, victory, hunting, and poetry. Yes, poetry. Although poetry is pretty much the unmanliest form of writing, Odin was man enough to make even this most effeminate of written forms rock tits. Here's a haiku written by Odin:
I murdered a man
He had a wife and two kids
I slept peacefully.
Here's a poem Odin wrote one day when he ordered a sandwich, and they were out of wheat (Odin eats a diet high in fiber because cholesterol kills):
Bitch, say what?
That's all he wrote before he stomped his foot up her ass and wore her colon around his ankle.
If there was one word to describe Odin, it would be cocksure. Odin had no character flaws, unless you consider an excessively violent response to minor annoyances a character flaw, and I don't. Case in point: One time some guy went to one of Odin's temples to sacrifice himself in an effort to spare his village from the famine that was scientifically proven to be caused by Odin.
The guy tried to impale himself on a large stake, but he lost his balance and fell awkwardly on the pole, causing him to bleed all over the place. When Odin came down to collect the man's soul, he saw the mess and became furious because Odin hates a sloppy sacrifice. Odin was so pissed that he resurrected the man, ate him, and then poked his own eye out and ate it so he could watch the body as he digested it and shit it out. Seriously, don't fuck around, just buy it now: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/080652720X/sr=8-1/qid=1148337123/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6103613-0778545?_encoding=UTF8
did they make a mistake and released it early or what? im about to order this but my dorm adress will change soon as its the end of the year. i would order it for sure if i knew it would come this week, but if i order and it comes june.. GG
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On May 22 2006 14:48 Pseudo_Utopia wrote:
I myself find it hard to think he's always 100% kidding. It sounds too bitter to me.
I agree. He is a legitimately funny dude, and he pulls off the "I Hate Everyone" humor better than anyone I've ever heard/read. That being said, it does wear on me after awhile. In other words, he's not exactly someone I would want to go bar hopping with.
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Going to order it soon, it will take like 2-3 weeks to get it shiped from the US and probebly another week to get to my house, I should have pre-ordered >_<.
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i don't get it
that is suposed to be comedy?
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"Here's a poem Odin wrote one day when he ordered a sandwich, and they were out of wheat (Odin eats a diet high in fiber because cholesterol kills):
Bitch, say what?"
thats funny stuff
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On May 22 2006 16:03 Pika Chu wrote:
i don't get it
that is suposed to be comedy?
You suck.
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On May 22 2006 14:48 Pseudo_Utopia wrote:
Maddox is funny, but I feel sorry for all the people who take whatever he says at all seriously. I know for a fact that there are many, and that's really too bad. And I know what you're going to say: "they're retarded if they take it seriously" or something to that effect. But the fact is that it's as much Maddox's fault as theirs that those people are offended.
I myself find it hard to think he's always 100% kidding. It sounds too bitter to me.
its satire, its neither 100% serious nor 100% a joke. its mostly exagerated reality. those who can laugh at themselves and their life will enjoy it for the most part. those who dont enjoy it.. well... they're retarded. one thing i disagree completely on, is that its as much maddox's fault as theirs. he can write watever the fuck he wants, if a person gets offended or doesnt like it, they dont have to read it. noone is forcing the words down their throats....
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really funny
ill order mine in due course
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
i think he's brilliant. he has a very keen sense of humor and though sometimes people find it very hard to tell whether or not he's joking or being ironic i will praise him enough to say that i think it is all intentional, mocking both the i'm-a-hate-everything rebel attitude and also the pussy i-must-be-politically-correct attitude
he's very conscious of current affairs and what is happening around him, and expresses it in his own manner. i admire him greatly for being who he is, and if he offends you i guess just stay away from it. we need more people like him in the world.
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Norway28614 Posts
he's hilarious
although I couldnt picture myself reading him for like, an hour in succession. but 10 minutes at a time I could get through anything;)
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if its anything like "new rules" by bill maher, ill pick it up. he's a funny mother fucker, although sometimes extremely conservative, ignoring the politics in that book, it was one of my favorite books ive ever read.
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On May 22 2006 18:18 baal wrote:
Bitch say what? rofl
..
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Is it in bookstores or do you have to order it?
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On May 22 2006 18:20 tadste wrote:..
QFT brotha
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it would be a sin not to get this book.
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is awesome32274 Posts
On May 22 2006 18:18 baal wrote:
Bitch say what? rofl
hahahahha
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On May 22 2006 18:02 Gene wrote:
if its anything like "new rules" by bill maher, ill pick it up. he's a funny mother fucker, although sometimes extremely conservative, ignoring the politics in that book, it was one of my favorite books ive ever read.
Are you saying Bill Maher is sometimes extremely conservative, or Maddox is?
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Im not sure what that was supposed to be and if that should make me some stiff uptight ass. But that quote or whatever it was about Odin wasnt even close to funny. And if he manages to fill a book with that shit and acctually sell it i feel sorry for humor and comedy worldwide. That was just sad...
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I'd have it already if georgie wouldn't take so damn long for his Dragons... multiple amazon shipping fees = no good :/ hope the dollar stays low till then
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On May 23 2006 05:19 MaGnIfIcA wrote:
Im not sure what that was supposed to be and if that should make me some stiff uptight ass. But that quote or whatever it was about Odin wasnt even close to funny. And if he manages to fill a book with that shit and acctually sell it i feel sorry for humor and comedy worldwide. That was just sad...
Yeah, have some respect Maddox. Norse people actually believe in Odin.
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Norway28614 Posts
you're pretty stiff n uptight
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On May 23 2006 06:02 tossman07 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 23 2006 05:19 MaGnIfIcA wrote:
Im not sure what that was supposed to be and if that should make me some stiff uptight ass. But that quote or whatever it was about Odin wasnt even close to funny. And if he manages to fill a book with that shit and acctually sell it i feel sorry for humor and comedy worldwide. That was just sad... Yeah, have some respect Maddox. Norse people actually believe in Odin.
hahahaha
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just ordered it
will prolly take like 2 weeks to ship it to sweden tho
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The norse mythologi part has nothing to do with it. I just don`t find it funny at all. When i read it, i think of some retarded try hard kid at a party, who just cant be funny even if its his life at stake =)
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well then think of something else
Maddox for president!
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Norway28614 Posts
he is a tryhard
but like the only one who is actually funny ;(
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hopefully it'll arrive soon... ive ordered it
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he's humour is on the scale of when youre talking to someone on MSN and that someone is just spitting out random jokes.
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On May 23 2006 06:02 tossman07 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 23 2006 05:19 MaGnIfIcA wrote:
Im not sure what that was supposed to be and if that should make me some stiff uptight ass. But that quote or whatever it was about Odin wasnt even close to funny. And if he manages to fill a book with that shit and acctually sell it i feel sorry for humor and comedy worldwide. That was just sad... Yeah, have some respect Maddox. Norse people actually believe in Odin.
Hahhah comedy. I was laughing pretty good in that lil excerpt
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On May 23 2006 13:21 Sfydjklm wrote:
he's humour is on the scale of when youre talking to someone on MSN and that someone is just spitting out random jokes.
Except there's a 99.9% chance that Maddox is funnier than your friends you talk to on MSN.
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On May 23 2006 13:52 DTDominion wrote:Show nested quote +On May 23 2006 13:21 Sfydjklm wrote:
he's humour is on the scale of when youre talking to someone on MSN and that someone is just spitting out random jokes.
Except there's a 99.9% chance that Maddox is funnier than your friends you talk to on MSN.
My entire buddly list is composed of professional comedians.
Yea that wasn't funny.
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just ordered it, can't wait
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On May 23 2006 13:52 DTDominion wrote:Show nested quote +On May 23 2006 13:21 Sfydjklm wrote:
he's humour is on the scale of when youre talking to someone on MSN and that someone is just spitting out random jokes.
Except there's a 99.9% chance that Maddox is funnier than your friends you talk to on MSN.
nope, thats pretty much what i meant, he isnt.
maybe my friends aint capable of producing a book of such jokes, but thats another issue.
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On May 23 2006 22:44 Sfydjklm wrote:Show nested quote +On May 23 2006 13:52 DTDominion wrote:On May 23 2006 13:21 Sfydjklm wrote:
he's humour is on the scale of when youre talking to someone on MSN and that someone is just spitting out random jokes.
Except there's a 99.9% chance that Maddox is funnier than your friends you talk to on MSN. nope, thats pretty much what i meant, he isnt. maybe my friends aint capable of producing a book of such jokes, but thats another issue.
Cool. Post some of your friends awesome conversations here. I'm sure everyone here will be happy to tell you how offensively unfunny they are, and how retarded you must be to have every talked to these people in the first place. So post it. Or (SURPRISE!!!) maybe their shit isn't a fraction as good as Maddox's? Maybe you're making crap up? No chance.
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Maddox is just an entertaining read.
First off: Who cares what he writes about. The secret is in how he writes.
Some of what he writes is predictably gay, and you could finish sentences for him or think, "oh god what a lame attempt at a rant / etc."
But some of what he writes is entertaining, fun to read, and just great overall.
Many of his sentences are constructed quite well that is what makes it fun to read.
Ie: Gregory Peck. I've been a fan of him since this article. (Peck, that is).
Gregory Peck is a man's man, the kind of man you read about in the bible. A man who came from a time when beating your woman was not only socially acceptable, but encouraged. He has the charisma of Frank Sinatra and the rugged manliness of a lumber jack. Even his last name is manly: "Peck," the phonetic equivalence of a slang term for a man's chest; it's a simple, almost primitive sound like a grunt, straight and to the point without fancy extra syllables and gratuitous punctuation. His default expression is a determined scowl, like he's prepared to introduce you to the business end of his shoe if you look at him wrong.
Picture of Peck driving with a face full of scowl and a woman in the passenger seat, like God intended.
That is a beautiful paragraph.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/peck_driving.jpg)
