Here he is! Our hero! He is a man of strength and power! He doesn't take no shit from no-body!
Doesn't he look happy though? It's because he's got such a great hat. He won it in a raffle in 1987 and always wears it whenever he goes out! It keeps his head warm, you see.
Our Hero wakes up one day, smile on his face. He goes to his window and greets the new day! Everything is beautiful!
He skips out of his bedroom, and heads for the front door. It's time to go to the corner store and get the morning paper! He puts on his shoes and reaches for his lovely hat... but wait! What the fuck? Where is his hat? What the fuck oh god help what is going on I don't understand
What's this? A ransom note! Argh! The Nazis are always to blame! Well, this sort of anti-semite hat theft shit will not fly with Our Hero on the case. He arms himself and sets out into the great unknown to track down his hat and kill some motherfucking nazis!
INVENTORY: Kitchen Knife Pack of Altoids Nazi Ransom Note Photo of Hat
CASH: $54.36
NORTH: Corner Store WEST: Other Side of the Street SOUTH: Downtown
What should our intrepid crusader do? Hint: The Nazis are quite infamous and recognizable in this neighborhood. People standing around may have useful information! You as a group will control Our Hero, and you may choose to interact with the environment in any way you can imagine, and I will MSPaint the results.
if he doesn't know where the nazi's went, he's obviously lying. so i think we should pop his balloon, or crucify him. whichever you guys think would hurt his feelings the most
On December 11 2005 17:54 CTStalker wrote: if he doesn't know where the nazi's went, he's obviously lying. so i think we should pop his balloon, or crucify him. whichever you guys think would hurt his feelings the most
i guess we should apologize to the kid's mom, i mean we did just unjustly murder him.
while we're at it, we can interrogate her about the nazi's as well, taking note of the decor of teh household. obviously is she's got a menorah or something we can accept her account as credible, but if she's got iron crosses and shit... well our hero knows what to do
edit: perhaps to incite the most honest account possible from the mother, we can brandish the broken balloon.
sit the little kid up in a chair, and make a sign that points to him and says "im a jew". nazis will come for him, thats when you jump out of the bushes an mow them all down with a machine gun
good idea, flavors, however we're armed only with a knife right now. maybe we could buy a machine gun with our $54.36, however the insurance and registration costs alone would run us much more then that. we have to assume the nazi's are travelling as a pack, because, they are cowards, having cowardly stolen our hat.
okok, let's buy a hotdog. but on the other hand, our hero towers over the dwarf hotdog shopkeep so greatly, couldn't we just pick him up and hurl him into the tree or something and then take one? before that tho we shud ask him wat he knos about the nazis.
we're gonna have to dispose of him before we take his stuff. i just want you guys to know that i'm ready to do whatever's necessary here to get the hat back, ok?
you're going to need a disguise from the nazis as well. you should take his chef hat and mustache
pocket the 'do not climb' sign as well, that might come in handy as both a blunt weapon and a precaution to stop anyone from following you should you need to climb something in the future.
after you've taken the sign, climb up the tree and see if theres anything up there, or if there are any nazis in distance
flavors we don't have a gun. what the fuck, this is mspaint land, we can't just grab whatever we want out of midair. there are laws of physics and matter to uphold here
Our Hero approaches the Frenchman. The Frenchman babbles. You cannot comprehend him! He tries to sell you Old Hot Dog! You decline. Frenchman becomes ornery! You attempt to steal Ketchup! Frenchman attacks!
DUN DUNDUN BADA DUN
Frenchman gets first strike! Frenchman stabs you with his hotdog fork!
NORTH: Corner Store WEST: Fishing Hole SOUTH: Downtown EAST: Your Front Yard
Cops are investigating the death of a small boy near your house. Be on the look out, they may want to question you! Wear a disguise to avoid interrogation!
INVENTORY: Kitchen Knife Pack of Altoids Nazi Ransom Note Photo of Hat French Chef Hat Ketchup Mustard Old Hot Dog
You step into the corner store and immediately fear for your life, as the cashier is very very creepy! Timidly, you ask him about your hat. He tells you he has no idea what your hat looks like. You show him the photo of your hat. Aha! There was a small group of people in his store earlier carrying a hat just like that! They spent $500 in the store today!
Buy the bat, and the beat the crap out of the cashier, then take all the money on the thing that saves it, and then Steal the gun, and run away, do not leave proofs.
Try to find what the nazi Group Bought, just ask him first what they bought, then buy the Bat, and the battle 2 begins. =D
Using belly dancing technique observed from Shakira, you attempt to mesmerize the cashier for more info and/or items to help you on your quest (because attempting to simply converse with him in a more conventional manner would get you jack shit out of him)
Sell useless items. Buy slingshot. Leave store. Shoot through window into the back room. Cashier goes in backroom to see what happened Steal 500$ Re-exit store.
On December 11 2005 19:43 CTStalker wrote: ask him if there's anything we can do to get the gun, besides paying the listed price
There is! He must run a briefcase to some associates of his but has no one to watch his store. You may choose to watch his store for him, or make the errand in his place. Bear in mind, if he catches you stealing from the store, he will attack you. You may not open the briefcase. If you open the briefcase and he finds out, he will attack you.
On December 11 2005 19:49 decafchicken wrote: Sell useless items. Buy slingshot. Leave store. Shoot through window into the back room. Cashier goes in backroom to see what happened Steal 500$ Re-exit store.
On December 11 2005 19:43 CTStalker wrote: ask him if there's anything we can do to get the gun, besides paying the listed price
There is! He must run a briefcase to some associates of his but has no one to watch his store. You may choose to watch his store for him, or make the errand in his place. Bear in mind, if he catches you stealing from the store, he will attack you. You may not open the briefcase. If you open the briefcase and he finds out, he will attack you.
CHOOSE
Watch the Briefcase for him, act good, and police and him won't suspect of you for the murder or the kid.
well.. we could watch his store, but we're letting the nazi's get away. we could do the errand and perhaps gain some clues along the way. i say we run the errand
Nooooooooo Fools.....WATCH the store.....then we will not have to return to the store to get the gun....It would take far to long to go frame by frame from his associates to the store...and the cops might see us...this would be horrible!!!!!!!! We can deny being anywhere near the child if we stay in the store. We could say we have been working all day!!
Edit: And if we go on the errand...we may have an illegal object the cops will take from us...cuz we all know cops are violent and evil!
Quickly you assess that you have nothing to gain by sitting in a store for an extended period of time, and that your knife will not suffice should you encounter armed Nazis. You don your Chef Hat, and voila, your disguise is complete! You now look French to everyone else! You have gained the Speak French technique! After donning your Chef Hat, your head warms up! You have gained the Repeated Stabs technique!
The cashier sends you downtown. You know a shortcut to the rendezvous point, but the alley is dark, there may be trouble lurking! Where will you go?
3 of them run like a pussy unless bullets pass through your wireframe without doing damage. Throw the old hotdog as a distraction to give you a headstart
tell each one in turn that the other is a jew, confusing them, then stab one and say he was a jew, then theyll be even more confused, then tell them that if they give you information on where your hat is, they wont be jews any more either. this will overall confuse them into telling you what you need to know
Pull down your pants and ask them if they want weiner schnitzel; then blind them with the ketchup and mustard taking two of them down using your french stabbing technique leaving one alive to torture him... he might let you know the location of the hat!
Cut off his wee wee! Take away all their morale! Go for the penis! Make the others run away in fear and then question the last Nazi! Shove the hotdog in his throat so he cannot use German speak no more!
Now offer to circumsize one of them (if one of them is alive) unless they tell you the whereabouts of your hat! Don't forget to learn German Speak off them! Oh and steal their uniform and hat!
Why would you freshen his breath! O_O Take an altoid to even the battlefield,,, and sing! Check out your environment as well... there might be something else you can use!
You weakly take out the photo of your hat and gaze into it longingly. You sense the end may be near, as the Fuhrer looms over you. You place the photo on your head as a tribute to better days.
BAM BAM BABABABAM YOU EXPLODE WITH POWER
Even a photograph of the hat is enough to lend you a fraction of its powers.
THIS IS THE MANDATORY PLOT TWIST, THE HAT MADE YOU A GOD WHICH IS WHY THE NAZIS WANT IT. The Fuhrer would be wearing it right now but IT IS SIMPLY TOO BIG FOR HIS HEAD.
Congratulations to greatmeh for discovering "THE MAGIC OF THE HAT", which is the untold subtitle of MSPaint: The Game!
You dispatch of the Fuhrer easily!
Upon winning the battle, you continue down the alley to the rendezvous point, where you find the cashier's associate! The Fuhrer lied to you! Aren't those Germans crafty?!
You return to the corner store and recieve your free gun, which you use to stop Carmen SanDiego from stealing the pyramids. The police eventually figure out that you are to blame for the murder of the small child, but pardoned you because by this time you are an international hero and you got your photo on the cover of GQ. The Frenchman suffocated just offscreen.
KNOW THAT YOU AS A FORUM HAVE SOLVED THIS PUZZLE. NO MAN CAN DEFEAT MSPAINT: THE GAME WITHOUT THE FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE OF THOSE AROUND HIM
You know, we shout in solutions pretty often so it requires steve to be at the computer for almost 6 hours straight to draw each stage of the game. He can only do a short strech, cuz if the game is like... say, 14 hours long, steve would go to a great place called heaven upon finishing the game.
So let him rest and when he's got another awesome idea he'll do another one :D
Lol...ya...poll woulda been nice @.@....He shoulda pansified in the store....and waited....and I thought he didnt take the frenchmans mustache....and how did the nazi's recognize him? Oh wait...Germans hate the French....nvm...That was a horrible disguise!
EPT
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