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A story every man can relate to - Page 2

Forum Index > General Forum
Post a Reply
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Gryffindor_us
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
United States5606 Posts
September 28 2005 13:09 GMT
#21
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



Hey, I like spooning too ;D.

Are you named after Helmuth Von Moltke?
Remember 11-12-04. 이윤열 ~. |||| ZerO, IriS, JangBi, Stork, BackHo! Mah Jae Yoon is no longer a feared entity.
MoltkeWarding
Profile Joined November 2003
5195 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-09-28 13:20:08
September 28 2005 13:18 GMT
#22
I am named after Helmuth Von Moltke, beware however, there are two Helmuth Von Moltkes.

The elder, who I am named after, was chief of the Prussian general staff in the Danish, Austro-Prussian and Franco-Prussian wars.

The younger, his nephew, was the successor to chief of staff Alfred von Schlieffen, executed the modified Schlieffen plan in the first months of World War 1, and was replaced by Falkenhayn after the plans failure.
Gryffindor_us
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
United States5606 Posts
September 28 2005 13:25 GMT
#23
Yeah, I was thinking Prussian general staff who defeated the Austrians using the wisdom of Clausewitz.
Remember 11-12-04. 이윤열 ~. |||| ZerO, IriS, JangBi, Stork, BackHo! Mah Jae Yoon is no longer a feared entity.
IcedEarth
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States3661 Posts
September 28 2005 13:41 GMT
#24
Yeah I still think this is awesome. I'm going to surely use this at some point.
Guardian guardian guardian of the blind
0_0
Profile Joined April 2004
United States2090 Posts
September 28 2005 13:44 GMT
#25
lol, quite an interesting read .
Chris307
Profile Joined June 2004
3095 Posts
September 28 2005 13:56 GMT
#26
On September 28 2005 22:41 IcedEarth wrote:
Yeah I still think this is awesome. I'm going to surely use this at some point.


But wouldn't a man have to turn you down in bed for that to happen? Either I'm different from most guys, or that would never ever ever happen in a billion years.

This was a great story. Fun to read and great ending.

The way it's written makes it seem as though the male got justice, but the story is kind of off-balance or sexist in that it perpetuates the whole notion of "men buy things for girls, women give sex in return."
PUSH DICE CUP BACK AND I SHOOT CRAP
Klogon
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
MURICA15980 Posts
September 28 2005 14:00 GMT
#27
Wow this story is absolutely awesome. haha. Good find, first time for me.
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
September 28 2005 14:03 GMT
#28
me too, very funny! i thought it was a real story kekeke
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
mr2hot4u15
Profile Joined February 2005
United States210 Posts
September 28 2005 14:03 GMT
#29
--- Nuked ---
And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and fuuuuuurious anger
StimpackAbuser
Profile Joined September 2005
Canada46 Posts
September 28 2005 15:14 GMT
#30
On September 28 2005 21:35 Sfydjklm wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2005 21:31 StimpackAbuser wrote:
ohh, that means she does not love/know you enough to have sex with you?

it means that men are turned on by female body, and women are turned on by how sweet cute and romantic you are to them.
blah blah blah


really? that doesn't sound like it at all :S

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
Its just 10% Luck, 20% Skill, 15% concentrated power of Will, 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain, and a 100% reason to Remember The Name.
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
September 28 2005 15:59 GMT
#31
This is a relevant add-on to the original post. It's very old, but somebody reposted it on CollegeHumor pretty recently, reawakening me to its utter brilliance.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Remember the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?' Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at Penn.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.

The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:

Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

--------------------------------------------------------------

STORY:

(First paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(Second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17, he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
"Why must one lose one^s innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table.
"We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

(Rebecca)

Asshole.

(Gary)

Bitch.

(Rebecca)

Wanker.

(Gary)

Slut.

(Rebecca)

Get fucked.

(Gary)

Eat shit.

(Rebecca)

FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.
MightyAtom
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Korea (South)1897 Posts
September 28 2005 16:04 GMT
#32
freaking hilarious ^^ hehehe
Administrator-I am the universe- Morihei Ueshiba
baal
Profile Joined March 2003
10541 Posts
September 28 2005 16:24 GMT
#33
the only good part of spooning is rubbing the penis against her ass.
Im back, in pog form!
Chris307
Profile Joined June 2004
3095 Posts
September 28 2005 16:26 GMT
#34
On September 29 2005 00:59 DJEtterStyle wrote:
This is a relevant add-on to the original post. It's very old, but somebody reposted it on CollegeHumor pretty recently, reawakening me to its utter brilliance.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Remember the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?' Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at Penn.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.

The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:

Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

--------------------------------------------------------------

STORY:

(First paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(Second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17, he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.
"Why must one lose one^s innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table.
"We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."

(Rebecca)

Asshole.

(Gary)

Bitch.

(Rebecca)

Wanker.

(Gary)

Slut.

(Rebecca)

Get fucked.

(Gary)

Eat shit.

(Rebecca)

FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.


I'd definitely give that an A
PUSH DICE CUP BACK AND I SHOOT CRAP
RushTHElarvA
Profile Joined January 2003
449 Posts
September 28 2005 17:00 GMT
#35
That was some truly rich material.
Jim
Profile Joined November 2003
Sweden1965 Posts
September 28 2005 17:09 GMT
#36
That was awesome.
To sup with the mighty ones, one must climb the path of daggers.
StimpackAbuser
Profile Joined September 2005
Canada46 Posts
September 28 2005 17:10 GMT
#37
Girls are weak.
Its just 10% Luck, 20% Skill, 15% concentrated power of Will, 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain, and a 100% reason to Remember The Name.
Asta
Profile Joined October 2002
Germany3491 Posts
September 28 2005 17:12 GMT
#38
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.


i had to laugh so hard when i read that

thx for bringing up good old stuff D:
StimpackAbuser
Profile Joined September 2005
Canada46 Posts
September 28 2005 17:34 GMT
#39
yea, old stuff are good.

Like there's was like,
u know,
like,
yea,
like,
there was like.. a-RL-girl-who-dressed-like-a-Final-Fantasy-charcter picture posted in the "How's your Taste HWMV" or something thread.
and like,
I was,
well,
like,
today I saw [H-S]_Final_Fantasy_VII_-_Advent_Children_[8DC34783].avi
and like,
I saw the girl,
she's like,
has long blond hair and like,
wears pink shirt and she appears at the end of the movie,
and like, that's like, the same girl I saw in TL.net before,
so,
I was like,
searching for her picture in that "How's your taste ..." thread,
but like,
there's like too many pages,
so,
yea,
like,
I couldn't find it,
so..
like..
if you know what page those pics are on,
please tell me.
Its just 10% Luck, 20% Skill, 15% concentrated power of Will, 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain, and a 100% reason to Remember The Name.
Liquid`Jinro
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Sweden33719 Posts
September 28 2005 17:39 GMT
#40
On September 29 2005 02:12 Asta wrote:
Show nested quote +
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.


i had to laugh so hard when i read that

thx for bringing up good old stuff D:

Haha yeah I did too ;p
Moderatortell the guy that interplanatar interaction is pivotal to terrans variety of optionitudals in the pre-midgame preperatories as well as the protosstinal deterriggation of elite zergling strikes - Stimey n | Formerly FrozenArbiter
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