• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 13:31
CEST 19:31
KST 02:31
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO4 & Finals Preview4[ASL21] Ro4 Preview: On Course12Code S Season 1 - RO8 Preview7[ASL21] Ro8 Preview Pt2: Progenitors8Code S Season 1 - RO12 Group A: Rogue, Percival, Solar, Zoun13
Community News
Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO8 Results2Weekly Cups (May 4-10): Clem, MaxPax, herO win1Maestros of The Game 2 announcement and schedule !11Weekly Cups (April 27-May 4): Clem takes triple0RSL Revival: Season 5 - Qualifiers and Main Event12
StarCraft 2
General
Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - The Finalists Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO4 & Finals Preview Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO8 Results Code S Season 1 (2026) - RO12 Results MaNa leaves Team Liquid
Tourneys
GSL Code S Season 1 (2026) Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament KSL Week 89 2026 GSL Season 2 Qualifiers Maestros of The Game 2 announcement and schedule !
Strategy
Custom Maps
[D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3 [A] Nemrods 1/4 players
External Content
Mutation # 525 Wheel of Misfortune The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 524 Death and Taxes Mutation # 523 Firewall
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ vespene.gg — BW replays in browser Pros React to: TvT Masterclass in FlaSh vs Light BW General Discussion ASL21 General Discussion
Tourneys
[ASL21] Semifinals B [BSL22] RO8 Bracket Stage + Another TieBreaker [ASL21] Ro8 Day 4 Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2
Strategy
Muta micro map competition Fighting Spirit mining rates [G] Hydra ZvZ: An Introduction Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
Nintendo Switch Thread Path of Exile Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne Starcraft Tabletop Miniature Game
Dota 2
The Story of Wings Gaming
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread YouTube Thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread UK Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread McBoner: A hockey love story Formula 1 Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
streaming software Strange computer issues (software) [G] How to Block Livestream Ads
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
How EEG Data Can Predict Gam…
TrAiDoS
ramps on octagon
StaticNine
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1112 users

A story every man can relate to

Forum Index > General Forum
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
IcedEarth
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States3661 Posts
September 28 2005 12:15 GMT
#1
"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either."
Guardian guardian guardian of the blind
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
September 28 2005 12:21 GMT
#2
tee hee zia has a girlfriend
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22259 Posts
September 28 2005 12:23 GMT
#3
On September 28 2005 21:21 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
tee hee zia has a girlfriend


GIRL ON GIRL IS HOT
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
ColdSoup
Profile Joined February 2005
United States447 Posts
September 28 2005 12:25 GMT
#4
wow thats a good read. hehe bookmark this for future use.
itzme_petey
Profile Blog Joined February 2004
United States1400 Posts
September 28 2005 12:25 GMT
#5
wow read this on entensity. very funny story still.
"Last night, I played a game.. as I recall it was a strategy game.. Peeked around and what did I see, a girl playing starcraft better than me.. and I jizzed in my pants.."
Sfydjklm
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States9218 Posts
September 28 2005 12:28 GMT
#6
its very sad story because its true-.-;;
twitter.com/therealdhalism | "Trying out Z = lots of losses vs inferior players until you figure out how to do it well (if it even works)."- Liquid'Tyler
StimpackAbuser
Profile Joined September 2005
Canada46 Posts
September 28 2005 12:29 GMT
#7
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
I don't understand that.

"You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
I understand that.
Its just 10% Luck, 20% Skill, 15% concentrated power of Will, 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain, and a 100% reason to Remember The Name.
Bill307
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada9103 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-09-28 12:30:56
September 28 2005 12:30 GMT
#8
I have never figured out why men put up with crap like this in the first place (i.e. why doesn't he just dump her and move on).

Oh wait yes I have. It's for the sex.
HeavenS
Profile Joined August 2004
Colombia2259 Posts
September 28 2005 12:30 GMT
#9
Lmao thank you so much, this made my day!
Im cooler than the other side of the pillow.
StimpackAbuser
Profile Joined September 2005
Canada46 Posts
September 28 2005 12:31 GMT
#10
ohh, that means she does not love/know you enough to have sex with you?
Its just 10% Luck, 20% Skill, 15% concentrated power of Will, 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain, and a 100% reason to Remember The Name.
Sfydjklm
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States9218 Posts
September 28 2005 12:35 GMT
#11
On September 28 2005 21:31 StimpackAbuser wrote:
ohh, that means she does not love/know you enough to have sex with you?

it means that men are turned on by female body, and women are turned on by how sweet cute and romantic you are to them.
blah blah blah
twitter.com/therealdhalism | "Trying out Z = lots of losses vs inferior players until you figure out how to do it well (if it even works)."- Liquid'Tyler
MoltkeWarding
Profile Joined November 2003
5195 Posts
September 28 2005 12:37 GMT
#12
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping

ColdSoup
Profile Joined February 2005
United States447 Posts
September 28 2005 12:39 GMT
#13
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



i dont follow? spooning is for queers
Sfydjklm
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States9218 Posts
September 28 2005 12:41 GMT
#14
On September 28 2005 21:39 ColdSoup wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



i dont follow? spooning is for queers

well when youre as old as moltke you need a stable retirement fund and sex can be too tiresome and cause heart attack.
twitter.com/therealdhalism | "Trying out Z = lots of losses vs inferior players until you figure out how to do it well (if it even works)."- Liquid'Tyler
Luhh
Profile Joined October 2003
Sweden2974 Posts
September 28 2005 12:41 GMT
#15
Yeah, good oldie. Read it a few years ago, but it's still funny.
I wouldn´t call him stupid, but let´s just say he´s unlucky when thinking...
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
September 28 2005 12:45 GMT
#16
On September 28 2005 21:39 ColdSoup wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



i dont follow? spooning is for queers


Bahahahhahahaha

best post ever
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
Caution
Profile Joined September 2004
2059 Posts
September 28 2005 12:50 GMT
#17
haahah that was a good read thx
lil.sis
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
China4650 Posts
September 28 2005 12:51 GMT
#18
lol i had forgotten about this

thanks a lot for reminding zia it was a really funny read
好好喝喝天天快乐
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
September 28 2005 12:59 GMT
#19
On September 28 2005 21:41 Sfydjklm wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2005 21:39 ColdSoup wrote:
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



i dont follow? spooning is for queers

well when youre as old as moltke you need a stable retirement fund and sex can be too tiresome and cause heart attack.


Moltke is 19?
GroT
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Belgium3003 Posts
September 28 2005 13:03 GMT
#20
you're on our side smurfette?
DANCE ALL DAY
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
IPSL
16:00
Ro16 Group B
Bonyth vs Napoleon
G5 vs JDConan
Airneanach84
Liquipedia
Showmatch
15:00
Shopify Rebellion Sunday
Reynor vs ByuNLIVE!
Harstem431
LamboSC2289
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
ByuN 475
Harstem 431
LamboSC2 289
elazer 107
Railgan 85
BRAT_OK 69
StarCraft: Brood War
firebathero 160
Movie 152
Dewaltoss 115
Hyun 61
Aegong 47
Rock 28
EG.Machine 22
IntoTheRainbow 13
yabsab 13
Shine 10
Dota 2
qojqva1521
LuMiX1
Counter-Strike
pashabiceps2192
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu215
MindelVK18
Other Games
Grubby22272
singsing2485
Liquid`RaSZi1637
FrodaN1068
Beastyqt833
ceh9727
B2W.Neo713
Happy289
KnowMe263
Hui .210
monkeys_forever129
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick417
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 19 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• StrangeGG 96
• Reevou 11
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• sooper7s
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Migwel
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
StarCraft: Brood War
• HerbMon 29
• blackmanpl 17
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• lizZardDota279
League of Legends
• Nemesis2274
Other Games
• imaqtpie643
• WagamamaTV262
• Shiphtur241
Upcoming Events
BSL
1h 30m
OyAji vs JDConan
DragOn vs TBD
OSC
6h 30m
Replay Cast
15h 30m
Monday Night Weeklies
22h 30m
Replay Cast
1d 6h
The PondCast
1d 16h
Kung Fu Cup
1d 17h
GSL
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
GSL
3 days
[ Show More ]
WardiTV Spring Champion…
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
WardiTV Spring Champion…
4 days
Replay Cast
5 days
RSL Revival
5 days
Classic vs SHIN
Rogue vs Bunny
BSL
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Afreeca Starleague
6 days
RSL Revival
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Escore Tournament S2: W7
WardiTV TLMC #16
Nations Cup 2026

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
ASL Season 21
IPSL Spring 2026
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2
Acropolis #4
KK 2v2 League Season 1
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
SCTL 2026 Spring
RSL Revival: Season 5
Heroes Pulsing #1
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2

Upcoming

YSL S3
Escore Tournament S2: W8
CSLAN 4
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Maestros of the Game 2
WardiTV Spring 2026
2026 GSL S2
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.