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A story every man can relate to

Forum Index > General Forum
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
IcedEarth
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States3661 Posts
September 28 2005 12:15 GMT
#1
"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either."
Guardian guardian guardian of the blind
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
September 28 2005 12:21 GMT
#2
tee hee zia has a girlfriend
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
EvilTeletubby
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Baltimore, USA22254 Posts
September 28 2005 12:23 GMT
#3
On September 28 2005 21:21 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
tee hee zia has a girlfriend


GIRL ON GIRL IS HOT
Moderatorhttp://carbonleaf.yuku.com/topic/408/t/So-I-proposed-at-a-Carbon-Leaf-concert.html ***** RIP Geoff
ColdSoup
Profile Joined February 2005
United States447 Posts
September 28 2005 12:25 GMT
#4
wow thats a good read. hehe bookmark this for future use.
itzme_petey
Profile Blog Joined February 2004
United States1400 Posts
September 28 2005 12:25 GMT
#5
wow read this on entensity. very funny story still.
"Last night, I played a game.. as I recall it was a strategy game.. Peeked around and what did I see, a girl playing starcraft better than me.. and I jizzed in my pants.."
Sfydjklm
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States9218 Posts
September 28 2005 12:28 GMT
#6
its very sad story because its true-.-;;
twitter.com/therealdhalism | "Trying out Z = lots of losses vs inferior players until you figure out how to do it well (if it even works)."- Liquid'Tyler
StimpackAbuser
Profile Joined September 2005
Canada46 Posts
September 28 2005 12:29 GMT
#7
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
I don't understand that.

"You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
I understand that.
Its just 10% Luck, 20% Skill, 15% concentrated power of Will, 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain, and a 100% reason to Remember The Name.
Bill307
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada9103 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-09-28 12:30:56
September 28 2005 12:30 GMT
#8
I have never figured out why men put up with crap like this in the first place (i.e. why doesn't he just dump her and move on).

Oh wait yes I have. It's for the sex.
HeavenS
Profile Joined August 2004
Colombia2259 Posts
September 28 2005 12:30 GMT
#9
Lmao thank you so much, this made my day!
Im cooler than the other side of the pillow.
StimpackAbuser
Profile Joined September 2005
Canada46 Posts
September 28 2005 12:31 GMT
#10
ohh, that means she does not love/know you enough to have sex with you?
Its just 10% Luck, 20% Skill, 15% concentrated power of Will, 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain, and a 100% reason to Remember The Name.
Sfydjklm
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States9218 Posts
September 28 2005 12:35 GMT
#11
On September 28 2005 21:31 StimpackAbuser wrote:
ohh, that means she does not love/know you enough to have sex with you?

it means that men are turned on by female body, and women are turned on by how sweet cute and romantic you are to them.
blah blah blah
twitter.com/therealdhalism | "Trying out Z = lots of losses vs inferior players until you figure out how to do it well (if it even works)."- Liquid'Tyler
MoltkeWarding
Profile Joined November 2003
5195 Posts
September 28 2005 12:37 GMT
#12
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping

ColdSoup
Profile Joined February 2005
United States447 Posts
September 28 2005 12:39 GMT
#13
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



i dont follow? spooning is for queers
Sfydjklm
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States9218 Posts
September 28 2005 12:41 GMT
#14
On September 28 2005 21:39 ColdSoup wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



i dont follow? spooning is for queers

well when youre as old as moltke you need a stable retirement fund and sex can be too tiresome and cause heart attack.
twitter.com/therealdhalism | "Trying out Z = lots of losses vs inferior players until you figure out how to do it well (if it even works)."- Liquid'Tyler
Luhh
Profile Joined October 2003
Sweden2974 Posts
September 28 2005 12:41 GMT
#15
Yeah, good oldie. Read it a few years ago, but it's still funny.
I wouldn´t call him stupid, but let´s just say he´s unlucky when thinking...
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
September 28 2005 12:45 GMT
#16
On September 28 2005 21:39 ColdSoup wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



i dont follow? spooning is for queers


Bahahahhahahaha

best post ever
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
Caution
Profile Joined September 2004
2059 Posts
September 28 2005 12:50 GMT
#17
haahah that was a good read thx
lil.sis
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
China4650 Posts
September 28 2005 12:51 GMT
#18
lol i had forgotten about this

thanks a lot for reminding zia it was a really funny read
好好喝喝天天快乐
Ack1027
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States7873 Posts
September 28 2005 12:59 GMT
#19
On September 28 2005 21:41 Sfydjklm wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2005 21:39 ColdSoup wrote:
On September 28 2005 21:37 MoltkeWarding wrote:
Personally I think cuddling > stable finances > sex > shopping



i dont follow? spooning is for queers

well when youre as old as moltke you need a stable retirement fund and sex can be too tiresome and cause heart attack.


Moltke is 19?
GroT
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Belgium3003 Posts
September 28 2005 13:03 GMT
#20
you're on our side smurfette?
DANCE ALL DAY
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
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