EPTHow do you vent your anger? - Page 18
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MethodSC
United States928 Posts
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phyre112
United States3090 Posts
Sports don't really help me - I play rugby, but I'm not great at wrapping up my tackles, so most often I find myself to be the reason my team gets scored on, and that makes me more angry. Doing drills, or conditioning work though - simple, repetitive things does help quite a bit. So long story short, I need something physical, that I can either focus my entire attention on, or else completely zone out with. | ||
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D10
Brazil3409 Posts
When angry people do stupid things, (like kill a wife because shes cheating on you) its because in his sick mind he has placed the blame of the problem on the wrong target, and seeks an immediate solution. Usually people perform better when angry | ||
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Kich
United States339 Posts
To answer the thread, I live with my best friend of .. something like 16 years as a roommate, and even when I didn't live with him really, I just end up talking to him for anywhere from 5-8 hours into the night. We used to do it at our spot in town, but now that we live together we can just do it in the living room. We casually drink and keep a buzz going and just discuss everything that's annoyed us in the past two or three months for hours, and then it's over. I don't ever raise my voice, I don't ever hit things, I don't ever throw things, I point most failure inward and build up a knowledge base to improve upon. My brother's do, but I think I'm far too much like my father, who even in the shittiest of situations with my brothers who royally fuck up, he never raises his voice (unless he sees a spider, then shit gets real) and is super calm about everything. I get annoyed a lot about little things, and I go on a lot of rants, but it's more for the people around me's enjoyment. I can make crowds laugh about annoying things people do that bother me, but the level of frustration I display is a lot higher than I actually feel. It also helps that right now I live in a really beautiful town with a mountain range 15 minutes away, so any negativity can be brought there. It's pretty hard to be angry with the freshest soil beneath your feet, the freshest air to breathe, when you can see 5 different states from where you're standing, when you can see the topography of the area so perfectly. I observe people who get angry about things they have no control over, and it's like, why bro? Pro-tips: Meditate once a day, just go somewhere by yourself and zone out for half an hour. Think about stuff, don't think about stuff, just spend like 30-40 minutes by yourself doing nothing. Spend 21 days straight writing down 3 positive things that happened each day, but you can't repeat any one positive thing. This is really easy at first, but after a few days or a week, it's tough to think of something positive that you haven't written down yet. This will help train your brain to actively search for the positive things in your life instead of negative ones. Try to perform a random act of kindness each day. At least one. Go out of your way to hold the door for someone, tell a cashier that they're looking handsome/pretty today, tell someone at work they're doing a good job, etc. I remember about 4 years ago when I was college searching with my dad we were leaving this building, he went through the door first, then me, and he stopped and ran back to hold the door because I didn't for the person behind me. We ended up holding the door for about a train of 30 people. Afterwards we were walking and he just said to me, "Always hold the door, it's the foundation of human kindness." And for the past 4 years I've never not held the door for anyone/everyone walking through. I know that's somewhat off-topic, but really, there's a problem with the world where a lot of people just aren't happy on a daily basis. Being happy affects you positively in literally every way possible, and it's relevant because really, truly being happy completely circumvents being angry and having the need to vent your anger in the first place. | ||
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Kiichol
Sweden182 Posts
On March 28 2012 15:10 D10 wrote: Did you know that when you get angry you actually improve your capacity of objectively analizing your problem. When angry people do stupid things, (like kill a wife because shes cheating on you) its because in his sick mind he has placed the blame of the problem on the wrong target, and seeks an immediate solution. Usually people perform better when angry I think you'll find that it's the people whom are difficult to anger in the first place that will perform well under anger. | ||
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Kich
United States339 Posts
On March 28 2012 15:10 D10 wrote: Did you know that when you get angry you actually improve your capacity of objectively analizing your problem. When angry people do stupid things, (like kill a wife because shes cheating on you) its because in his sick mind he has placed the blame of the problem on the wrong target, and seeks an immediate solution. Usually people perform better when angry The first sentence here seems to contradict the second and then agree with the third. I don't really follow. | ||
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Kiichol
Sweden182 Posts
On March 28 2012 15:17 Kich wrote: The first sentence here seems to contradict the second and then agree with the third. I don't really follow. omg our names are similar. responded to same post at virtually the same time. just wanted to note the fact  | ||
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D10
Brazil3409 Posts
On March 28 2012 15:17 Kich wrote: The first sentence here seems to contradict the second and then agree with the third. I don't really follow. What i mean is that problems managing anger doesnt mean it doesnt improve your hability to solve your problem its just that those people thing bashing people in the skull is a valid solution to their problem. not everyone will act this way, and regardless of the specific decision, being angry increases your capacity of objetively analying situations, patterns, puzzles, etc. | ||
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Kich
United States339 Posts
On March 28 2012 15:43 D10 wrote: What i mean is that problems managing anger doesnt mean it doesnt improve your hability to solve your problem its just that those people thing bashing people in the skull is a valid solution to their problem. not everyone will act this way, and regardless of the specific decision, being angry increases your capacity of objetively analying situations, patterns, puzzles, etc. I don't think you know what the word objective means XD. I would say that is empirically untrue though, partially because the example you're giving contradicts that people think more objectively about things and kind of kills what you're trying to say, but I would agree with the other Kich that people who handle anger better are probably more applicable to what you're talking about. I for instance, as being someone who rarely gets angry, perform better at most tasks under pressure or frustration. If being a pro-gamer wasn't -quite- so unreliable and boring I would likely be doing that right now. | ||
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MethodSC
United States928 Posts
On March 28 2012 15:43 D10 wrote: What i mean is that problems managing anger doesnt mean it doesnt improve your hability to solve your problem its just that those people thing bashing people in the skull is a valid solution to their problem. not everyone will act this way, and regardless of the specific decision, being angry increases your capacity of objetively analying situations, patterns, puzzles, etc. Provide a source for that info.... experience in life proves quite the contrary. | ||
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ArmyOfPlatypi
United States188 Posts
On March 28 2012 12:50 Voltimand wrote: There is a actually a website called WhoseLineOnline.org that has every episode of Whose Line, both the US and UK versions, embedded from youtube. I use it to calm myself down as well. Really? That's awesome, thanks! | ||
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Dubz
United States242 Posts
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Spieltor
327 Posts
failing that, shutting down threads at a website of mine for people having an open debate and calling them bigots for not thinking the answer is the answer I want them to think. The reality is, The more you "vent" or express anger, the easier it is to do so in the future. The only way to diminish current and future anger is to let it go. there's a western belief that holdiong in anger isnt good,a nd that its healthier to let it out. yet anger and actions while in a state of anger usually always lead to negative consequences. In the long run, anger diminishes if you do not express it all the time, but it also requires a mindset that anger in itself is a negative thing to have. If you think of just controlling your anger but still allow yourself to be angry inside all the time, you will pop. there is an important difference in "containing anger and harboring it" and in "letting go of it". | ||
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D10
Brazil3409 Posts
On March 28 2012 15:51 MethodSC wrote: Provide a source for that info.... experience in life proves quite the contrary. Thats because you rarely find yourself in positions where you are angry and in full power to do something about it, leading to frustration and fury | ||
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Spieltor
327 Posts
On March 28 2012 16:25 D10 wrote: Thats because you rarely find yourself in positions where you are angry and in full power to do something about it, leading to frustration and fury if by "full power" you mean, you have the means to do something illegal or sociopathic like do whatever you want to get your ends, and you feel like you COULD KILL SOMEONE at any given moment, there is no person in the world who doesn't have "full power to do something about any situation to the fullest extent of their ability". however, There are these things called morals and laws (which are threats of punishment) which are designed to make people want to choose some other way of dealing with a situation. the entirety of your posts are logical disconnects and contradictions. | ||
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D10
Brazil3409 Posts
On March 28 2012 16:41 Spieltor wrote: if by "full power" you mean, you have the means to do something illegal or sociopathic like do whatever you want to get your ends, and you feel like you COULD KILL SOMEONE at any given moment, there is no person in the world who doesn't have "full power to do something about any situation to the fullest extent of their ability". however, There are these things called morals and laws (which are threats of punishment) which are designed to make people want to choose some other way of dealing with a situation. the entirety of your posts are logical disconnects and contradictions. You obviously didnt understand it, had nothing to do with what I said. heres an example of a normal everyday situation, you are working on an essay, your pc crashes and you lose half an hour of work, you get pissed, nothing you can do, just redo the work, you will most likely work on a better rhythm for the next hour what I meant is that things that usually get people angry usually involve some sort of variable they cant control, they attack things they associate the problem (this is an example to people who lose it when they are angry, not everyone) my sources are at this moment in portuguese and printed in front of me =/ | ||
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MethodSC
United States928 Posts
On March 28 2012 16:25 D10 wrote: Thats because you rarely find yourself in positions where you are angry and in full power to do something about it, leading to frustration and fury Anger is the lack of a solution to a problem in the first place. Being in a position that you can't cope with at that moment(every problem has a solution) will not always lead to frustration and fury, because not everyone has the stance of needing to solve something right now. | ||
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Spieltor
327 Posts
On March 28 2012 16:47 D10 wrote: You obviously didnt understand it, had nothing to do with what I said. heres an example of a normal everyday situation, you are working on an essay, your pc crashes and you lose half an hour of work, you get pissed, nothing you can do, just redo the work, you will most likely work on a better rhythm for the next hour what I meant is that things that usually get people angry usually involve some sort of variable they cant control, they attack things they associate the problem (this is an example to people who lose it when they are angry, not everyone) my sources are at this moment in portuguese and printed in front of me =/ what you said previous involved anger, murder, and, full power to do something about it. I worked with what you gave me to form a response. If it was not at all what you meant, then either Im deranged or you didn't communicate what you were really thinking. your pc crashes and you lose half an hour of work, you get pissed, nothing you can do, just redo the work, you will most likely work on a better rhythm for the next hour I'll fix your post your pc crashes and you lose half an hour of work, you get pissed, so you do what is under your full power to do, just redo the work, you will most likely work on a better rhythm for the next hour Now, you're trying to associate a better rhythm with anger. But the real association should be that you A. LEARNED that an error of this nature could force you to take longer at a task, and B. try to prevent a similar error in the future being as destructive later on. this has nothing to do with anger, as anger is NOT involved in the learning process. open up wiki and search for anger and see the brain parts it comes from. Those parts are not associated with problem solving. if you have a "source" extolling the virtues of anger to learning, they're incorrectly correlating the emotion with the correcting of an issue before the issue becomes a problem. Learning to save every 5 minutes doesn't come from anger, it comes from problem solving. Anger does not help you solve problems, anger SHUTS DOWN processes in the frontal lobes, the logic centers of our brain. This has been proven for pretty much the entire existence of psychology. | ||
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Supamang
United States2298 Posts
On March 28 2012 16:47 D10 wrote: You obviously didnt understand it, had nothing to do with what I said. heres an example of a normal everyday situation, you are working on an essay, your pc crashes and you lose half an hour of work, you get pissed, nothing you can do, just redo the work, you will most likely work on a better rhythm for the next hour what I meant is that things that usually get people angry usually involve some sort of variable they cant control, they attack things they associate the problem (this is an example to people who lose it when they are angry, not everyone) my sources are at this moment in portuguese and printed in front of me =/ Explain being on tilt during poker then. | ||
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MethodSC
United States928 Posts
On March 28 2012 16:47 D10 wrote: You obviously didnt understand it, had nothing to do with what I said. heres an example of a normal everyday situation, you are working on an essay, your pc crashes and you lose half an hour of work, you get pissed, nothing you can do, just redo the work, you will most likely work on a better rhythm for the next hour what I meant is that things that usually get people angry usually involve some sort of variable they cant control, they attack things they associate the problem (this is an example to people who lose it when they are angry, not everyone) my sources are at this moment in portuguese and printed in front of me =/ But that argument is extremely flawed. Why would a reasonable person get angry over something they can't control? There's no point. Either acknowledge that the problem can't be solved, or find a way to fix it, in this case that would be to invent something that makes a computer less likely to or stop crashing at all. I think it's more likely that someone would get angry over something they can control, because not having the answer when you know there is one implies lack of understanding or thought. | ||
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