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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On November 29 2016 05:37 Artisreal wrote:
May seem like a dumb question, but why don't you stay away from those women who you portray as only preying on the money?
The thing about marriage comes to effect much later, or do you marry after the second date? Is it so essential to marry anyway? I'm not trying to be rude or sth, just being curious.
I've been with my partner for... like 6 years and we've never really thought about marrying yet. No kids though.
It's not like that. It's just that ultimately, you need a certain amount of money to live a certain kind of life. Want to raise kids? Well it'll suck if you're always on unstable financial footing. It's not the only factor but it absolutely matters and should.
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On November 29 2016 05:15 JimmyJRaynor wrote:winning the "dating" game for me largely boils down to how much money i'm making. when it becomes clear i'm making $70/hour women who would not have given me the time of day find excuses to talk to me. my physical appearance improved from age 18 to 24 and it made a moderate difference. the big thing for me is money. women had little to no interest in me when i went through university; i had to work several odd jobs to pay my way through university so i had no time for a relationship any way. a quick and easy fuck of a few 6/10 or 5/10 girls was possible but i was just feeling too anti-social. in my jurisdiction marriage laws favour women. If you have the resources to assemble an adequate legal team i'd say its 52/48 in favour of women. if you have no resources and are poor i'd say its 70/30 in favour of women. in my jurisdiction you have to have the money to initiate a civil legal proceeding if the woman in your life decides to start making stuff up and issuing false accusations to law enforcement. as long as you hold that hammer its rare for a woman to try that crap. but u need that hammer. and that hammer costs money. poor guys are s.o.l. solution: make money + Show Spoiler +
Maybe don't go for gold diggers?
I don't think I could be someone without a proper education, who had ambition or made their own money.
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Yeah I agree I've been with wonderful girls that said that although they really like me they are looking for husband material aka someone who has their shit together. I will as well but it wil be a few years down the line and I wont blame her for not wanting to wait..
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I think people might be misunderstanding something: it costs at least some amount of money to make yourself look good.
While basic hygiene is at this point accessible for most in 1st world countries, a variety of clothing and accessories is not. Everything from fashion to hair-styling is much more difficult. Hobbies which you can use to connect to other people might be out of reach for you. Music concerts, bars, clubs and other such events all cost money and act as difficult date options. Hell, having to work for long periods of time (especially if you're in school) gives you less time to socialize.
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Y'all need to spend some time around dirty musicians it seems.
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United States15275 Posts
Money is peripherally related to getting women at best. Obviously it's good to earn it, but it doesn't necessarily translate to attraction.
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On November 29 2016 07:56 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Money is peripherally related to getting women at best. Obviously it's good to earn it, but it doesn't necessarily translate to attraction.
I think it really depends. For some women they are looking for a man with a certain income as a measure of "shit-togetherness" (can this man take care of me and possibly later our kids?). Don't underestimate however how many women out there (who are not prostitutes) really have finding a rich dude as their game plan. Even if temporary.
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Reminds me if a podcast where the guest was explaining old school marriage and how mothers of that generation instill values in their daughters.
Basically they shame their natural bodily needs and manifestation of simply enjoying sex (slut shaming) when getting nothing in return, "giving it up for free" is something to be frowned upon. It used to be so extreme when women didn't have power in society and would have sex only after a promise of lifetime income and being take care of (marriage) basically they shame their daughters for being sluts and enjoying dating and sex just because, pushing them towards being actual whores where sex is a transaction and if the woman doesn't receive something in return she's making a mistake.
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On November 29 2016 07:56 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Money is peripherally related to getting women at best. Obviously it's good to earn it, but it doesn't necessarily translate to attraction.
Gold digger is a term for a reason
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Fame also comes with attractiveness but not necessarily with money.
With money you go to a brothel, thus money equals sexual activity. Though that doesn't equal finding a partner for life.
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On November 29 2016 06:53 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On November 29 2016 05:15 JimmyJRaynor wrote:winning the "dating" game for me largely boils down to how much money i'm making. when it becomes clear i'm making $70/hour women who would not have given me the time of day find excuses to talk to me. my physical appearance improved from age 18 to 24 and it made a moderate difference. the big thing for me is money. women had little to no interest in me when i went through university; i had to work several odd jobs to pay my way through university so i had no time for a relationship any way. a quick and easy fuck of a few 6/10 or 5/10 girls was possible but i was just feeling too anti-social. in my jurisdiction marriage laws favour women. If you have the resources to assemble an adequate legal team i'd say its 52/48 in favour of women. if you have no resources and are poor i'd say its 70/30 in favour of women. in my jurisdiction you have to have the money to initiate a civil legal proceeding if the woman in your life decides to start making stuff up and issuing false accusations to law enforcement. as long as you hold that hammer its rare for a woman to try that crap. but u need that hammer. and that hammer costs money. poor guys are s.o.l. solution: make money + Show Spoiler + Maybe don't go for gold diggers? I don't think I could be someone without a proper education, who had ambition or made their own money.
upper middle class women and middle class women are not "gold diggers". they won't go out with guys in their 1st-4th year at a great tech school who are working 15 hours at a weekend part time job and can barely pay their tuition each year.
On November 29 2016 07:54 farvacola wrote:
Y'all need to spend some time around dirty musicians it seems.
the leader of my little crime gang i hung out with in high school is a dirty musician with a violent streak girls loved. he did way better with high school girls than i did back in high school.
cut to 11 years later; he has spent the majority of his adult life in jail. i've probably climbed to "upper middle class" territory. i'm able to get women more physically attractive than he is. the women i go out with are also higher quality people in general.
yep, there are a group of women willing to ignore his low income, criminal record, violent streak, and bad teeth. the older he gets the smaller and smaller that group is.
my old high school crime gang has several guys in it who can't afford proper dental care or the physical therapy needed to get sport injuries properly resolved. limping around with bad teeth really wrecks that "bad ass tough guy" image thing they had going when they were 18.
having no money and no resources is totally cool when you are 20. its less, and less cool as you age.
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I was just talking to my homegirl tonight and she also reemphasyzed how important it is to a gal too feel that safety of marriage (more so than men) because of some inherent vulnerable feeling.
Considering how tough life can be on single mommas and how I can imagine it being a bit intimidating to deal with men as a woman I can only agree..
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i recall the leader of my high school crime gang constantly getting into fights and beating the crap out of a lot of guys. In high school he never lost a fight.. his record was somewhere around 60-0. He nailed every hot girl he wanted. His peers and school mates would jealously proclaim "1 day he is going to run into a guy with a gun and he'll be dead".
Well nothing anything that dramatic ever happened. What has happened over the last 10 years is this... he keeps breaking his wrists, hands, and fingers on the broken bodies of his victims. You can't keep breaking the tiny bones in your hands over and over again and get a full recovery without some very expensive physiotherapy. He can't afford it. He can't play the guitar more than 1 hour a day because his hands are fucked. There are all kinds of regular jobs the guy can't do because of his hands.
A gun never killed this guy. Attrition has killed this guy. A guy who got the hottest girls every high school party he attended... a guy who screwed 20 girls over a 1 year period when he was 18... now has a 200+ lb girlfriend with diabetes and 3 kids.
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Uh. Replace money with education in your example. Same outcome.
edit: though between the EU and the US we have some difference rendering the above a little questionable.
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On November 30 2016 00:01 Artisreal wrote:
Uh. Replace money with education in your example. Same outcome.
in my country to get a really amazing education you need money.
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On November 29 2016 23:10 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
upper middle class women and middle class women are not "gold diggers". they won't go out with guys in their 1st-4th year at a great tech school who are working 15 hours at a weekend part time job and can barely pay their tuition each year.
I have a very hard time believing girls in your university will not date other university students. Of course if you try to date women who have already graduated they might not be interested. That isn't so strange though, you're in two different parts of your life.
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On November 29 2016 23:58 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
i recall the leader of my high school crime gang constantly getting into fights and beating the crap out of a lot of guys. In high school he never lost a fight.. his record was somewhere around 60-0. He nailed every hot girl he wanted. His peers and school mates would jealously proclaim "1 day he is going to run into a guy with a gun and he'll be dead".
Well nothing anything that dramatic ever happened. What has happened over the last 10 years is this... he keeps breaking his wrists, hands, and fingers on the broken bodies of his victims. You can't keep breaking the tiny bones in your hands over and over again and get a full recovery without some very expensive physiotherapy. He can't afford it. He can't play the guitar more than 1 hour a day because his hands are fucked. There are all kinds of regular jobs the guy can't do because of his hands.
A gun never killed this guy. Attrition has killed this guy. A guy who got the hottest girls every high school party he attended... a guy who screwed 20 girls over a 1 year period when he was 18... now has a 200+ lb girlfriend with diabetes and 3 kids.
Where the fuck do you live?
Shit like that would never fly on any respectable school.
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On November 30 2016 00:06 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On November 29 2016 23:10 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
upper middle class women and middle class women are not "gold diggers". they won't go out with guys in their 1st-4th year at a great tech school who are working 15 hours at a weekend part time job and can barely pay their tuition each year.
I have a very hard time believing girls in your university will not date other university students. Of course if you try to date women who have already graduated they might not be interested. That isn't so strange though, you're in two different parts of your life.
i went to a co-op school. the only time you spend 8 months at the school is at the very start. after that, its 1 week off then 4 months of work.. 1 week off ..then 4 months of school.. 1 week off.. 4 months of work ...repeated for 4.67 years to get a 4 year degree. the few women in my class usually went out with older guys they met during co-op work terms... and these guys were done school.
"campus life" is a fraction of what it is in normal academic schools. i moved 9 times in 4 years. So did most of my classmates.
coming from a single parent poor family i did not have time for parties and fun events. during academic terms i worked 16 hour per week and study/lab time consumed about 45 hours a week. the women in my school were not interested in riding that train and i don't blame them one bit. none of my classmates worked during academic terms
during those lean years i intermittently screwed my ex gfs from high school. 
On November 30 2016 00:11 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On November 29 2016 23:58 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
i recall the leader of my high school crime gang constantly getting into fights and beating the crap out of a lot of guys. In high school he never lost a fight.. his record was somewhere around 60-0. He nailed every hot girl he wanted. His peers and school mates would jealously proclaim "1 day he is going to run into a guy with a gun and he'll be dead".
Well nothing anything that dramatic ever happened. What has happened over the last 10 years is this... he keeps breaking his wrists, hands, and fingers on the broken bodies of his victims. You can't keep breaking the tiny bones in your hands over and over again and get a full recovery without some very expensive physiotherapy. He can't afford it. He can't play the guitar more than 1 hour a day because his hands are fucked. There are all kinds of regular jobs the guy can't do because of his hands.
A gun never killed this guy. Attrition has killed this guy. A guy who got the hottest girls every high school party he attended... a guy who screwed 20 girls over a 1 year period when he was 18... now has a 200+ lb girlfriend with diabetes and 3 kids. Where the fuck do you live? Shit like that would never fly on any respectable school.
the guy didn't get into fights on school property. i grew up in a lower middle class area of Toronto which was very close to the most crime ridden part of the city. our little gang did its thing in that adjacent neighbourhood.
On November 30 2016 00:06 bloodwhore~ wrote: That isn't so strange though, you're in two different parts of your life.
personal note about 2 paths.
+ Show Spoiler +i was the "brains" of the crime gang. i was the document forger guy. i forged documents while i worked part time at a Kinkos. being the "Brains" of the gang i could see that the future was bleak for us. So i created an exit strategy while in high school. i am really good at math and science so it didn't take much effort to excel in high school in these areas. i quit my life of crime once i got my first real job during a university co-op work term at the age of 20. for shits and giggles i go back and hang out with the old gang a couple of times a year.
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United States15275 Posts
On November 29 2016 19:57 B.I.G. wrote:Show nested quote +On November 29 2016 07:56 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Money is peripherally related to getting women at best. Obviously it's good to earn it, but it doesn't necessarily translate to attraction. I think it really depends. For some women they are looking for a man with a certain income as a measure of "shit-togetherness" (can this man take care of me and possibly later our kids?). Don't underestimate however how many women out there (who are not prostitutes) really have finding a rich dude as their game plan. Even if temporary.
These are also the women who most frequently end up in therapy, cheat on their husbands, or sink into mundane routines to compensate for their mediocre relationships. This is not a black mark on their character per se. The criteria for long-term stability in a relationship is completely different than that for attraction, and most marriage problems stem from one of these being neglected.
On November 29 2016 20:50 Rocket-Bear wrote:Show nested quote +On November 29 2016 07:56 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Money is peripherally related to getting women at best. Obviously it's good to earn it, but it doesn't necessarily translate to attraction. Gold digger is a term for a reason
Except gold diggers are not attracted to them.
On November 29 2016 21:14 Artisreal wrote:
Fame also comes with attractiveness but not necessarily with money.
Fame is a completely different dynamic.
On November 29 2016 23:10 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
lots of personal observations
I personally disagree with your assessment of well...everything, but I come from a very different place.
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EPT
