|
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On December 04 2016 00:49 Talula wrote:Show nested quote +On December 04 2016 00:45 Rocket-Bear wrote:On December 04 2016 00:42 Talula wrote: Speaking from a women's perspective, I won't go out with a guy who doesn't own a car. I'm not materialistic, but a car is a necessity. Do you have a car yourself? I do! I have a car, my own place, a dog, a job. It just feels weird to have to pick up a guy. What else will I have to "pick up" ? Then it's fine to require a car I think. Sometimes dates have werid income requirements when they don't have anything themselves
|
Well, living in a city is so vastly different form the experience / requirementes stated here. It helps to put stuff into perspective.
|
I avoid this problem by dating 20 y/o girls. I live with my parents and expend like a hobbo while raking up money.
I have my girl's prom in 2 weeks, I'll prolly be older than even the waiters :D
|
20-year-olds are almost all too childish for my liking. I thought so even when I was that age.
Most people don't reach an acceptable level of maturity until... at least a few years later.
|
On December 04 2016 00:42 Talula wrote: Speaking from a women's perspective, I won't go out with a guy who doesn't own a car. I'm not materialistic, but a car is a necessity. I work on cars for a living. I bought a lot of tools to do so. I have dated women where I own more money worth of tools to fix cars than their personal car is worth. Yet I don't own a car. I know you may think it's weird, but I simply don't need or want to own one.
I live close to where I work, so I can get to work in a 10 minute walk. 3 different grocery stores, among other businesses I'd regularly need to visit are about a 15 minute walk in various directions. I'm a 10-15 minute walk from a major transitway hub in the city, and about 200 metres from a regular local bus route. I also get a really awesome rental car rate through my work (and actually have a rental car in my possession for the weekend as I am typing this, because I wanted one for the weekend to get around a bit easier).
Usually when I go out, I plan on drinking, so I do not plan on driving home, and I do not need a car to get to and from work, effectively making a car rather pointless for me for 95% of the time. I just rent one as needed. It's works well for me because I'm always driving something relatively new, and they do any maintenance and even clean them as required, so I literally have to put no effort into it at all.
Speaking from my perspective, a car is not a necessity.
|
But you've said you do use a car when you need one, so I'd say in your case it's different. I, for example, don't own a car, don't have a driver's license and don't plan on ever driving actually for a bunch of different reasons. Perhaps if electric cars become a mainstream thing. But then I could say, why not wait for self driving cars to become affordable so I think I'll just keep postponing... It's an obstruction at times, I get that, but it's a principle I'm almost not willing to budge on, unless it becomes absolutely necessary.
|
On December 04 2016 02:44 GoTuNk! wrote: I avoid this problem by dating 20 y/o girls. I live with my parents and expend like a hobbo while raking up money. I have my girl's prom in 2 weeks, I'll prolly be older than even the waiters :D that's a good plan.... and going out with a 20 year old girl who has not graduated high school yet! <<2 thumbs up>>
|
I believe in miracles! Since you came along!!! You sexy thang, sexy thang you. Buuuum bua du dum da dum!!!
28 god damn years old, and dating this cute and hilarious 23 year old who absolutely lights up my life.
God damn...
Sometimes you just need to keep on pushing through life no matter how many times it kicks you down because my fucking GOODNESS is it ever worth it.
|
I think we can all agree that having a car is a necessity or not is entirely based on where you live.
On December 04 2016 05:33 TheDougler wrote: I believe in miracles! Since you came along!!! You sexy thang, sexy thang you. Buuuum bua du dum da dum!!!
28 god damn years old, and dating this cute and hilarious 23 year old who absolutely lights up my life.
God damn...
Sometimes you just need to keep on pushing through life no matter how many times it kicks you down because my fucking GOODNESS is it ever worth it. HAHA! Awesome!
|
On December 04 2016 05:32 JimmyJRaynor wrote:Show nested quote +On December 04 2016 02:44 GoTuNk! wrote: I avoid this problem by dating 20 y/o girls. I live with my parents and expend like a hobbo while raking up money. I have my girl's prom in 2 weeks, I'll prolly be older than even the waiters :D that's a good plan.... and going out with a 20 year old girl who has not graduated high school yet! <<2 thumbs up>>
She is 18 and super smart, will go to engineering school and speaks french and english fluently (aside from spanish)! 20 is my average, should have made that clear.
As I said somewhere before, the most mature girl I've dated so far; we make jokes she is the mature one in the relationship.
|
Being 29 I'm usually in the 25 - 32 range where women tend to start seriously looking for someone to settle down with. That's not me for now so that's can be a tad bit annoying haha...
|
So a few weeks ago I got into a bit of a discussion with a girl. The point was that I was of the opinion that genuinely platonic male - female friendship is bullshit 9 times out of 10. Now I'm not talking about the casual other sex friends I'm all of us have tons off, I'm talking about the kind of friendship where you hang out at eachother's home late at night watching movies, staying over, maybe go on a holiday with the two of you, etc.
It might say a lot about me but I do believe that the sexual tension is an obstacle that is very difficult to just ignore.
In 90% (or more) of cases I think its rather something like: -There is no attraction because he or she is gay (or both) -One actually does have feelings but is completely "friendzoned" -They are having or have had casual sex -Due to circumstance or work him and her might end up having to work very closely together and form a very strong bond through shared experience (even then still the sexual tension might become an issue)
For sure there are many exceptions but the things I listed here are either based on my own experience or based on observations. When discussing this point with other friends plenty of them strongly disagreed with me so I am very willing to accept that I'm just being far too skeptical. What do you guys think? Anything to add to the list or are you saying that these kind of platonic relationships are no problem for you?
|
On December 06 2016 13:23 B.I.G. wrote: So a few weeks ago I got into a bit of a discussion with a girl. The point was that I was of the opinion that genuinely platonic male - female friendship is bullshit 9 times out of 10. Now I'm not talking about the casual other sex friends I'm all of us have tons off, I'm talking about the kind of friendship where you hang out at eachother's home late at night watching movies, staying over, maybe go on a holiday with the two of you, etc.
It might say a lot about me but I do believe that the sexual tension is an obstacle that is very difficult to just ignore.
In 90% (or more) of cases I think its rather something like: -There is no attraction because he or she is gay (or both) -One actually does have feelings but is completely "friendzoned" -They are having or have had casual sex -Due to circumstance or work him and her might end up having to work very closely together and form a very strong bond through shared experience (even then still the sexual tension might become an issue)
For sure there are many exceptions but the things I listed here are either based on my own experience or based on observations. When discussing this point with other friends plenty of them strongly disagreed with me so I am very willing to accept that I'm just being far too skeptical. What do you guys think? Anything to add to the list or are you saying that these kind of platonic relationships are no problem for you?
Have you watched "When Harry met Sally"?
The entire movie is pretty much about this topic, except the gender roles are flipped. The woman thinks friendship can't be purely platonic and the man insists it can.
And then of course they fall in love.
|
On December 06 2016 13:23 B.I.G. wrote: For sure there are many exceptions but the things I listed here are either based on my own experience or based on observations. When discussing this point with other friends plenty of them strongly disagreed with me so I am very willing to accept that I'm just being far too skeptical. What do you guys think? Anything to add to the list or are you saying that these kind of platonic relationships are no problem for you? I don't really have a problem with platonic friendships with girls. However, the problem seems to be that most girls are not even remotely close to me in terms of humour and interests. Most girls I've met get very triggered if you joke about certain things which just means I won't want to be their friend. I was very good friends my fuck buddy before everything went crashing down though.
I just think there is a huge difference between males and females in general, which most times means they won't each others company that much compared to guys of the same gender.
|
|
|
On December 07 2016 06:26 plasmidghost wrote: My girlfriend and I are both 20 years old but we're both very serious people when it comes to relationships. She's even said that she wants this relationship to last a long time and I'm happy with that Why else would you start a relationship? If it was nothing serious I wouldn't call it one. Relationships are meant to be long term and progressively constructive. You literally build your life together.
|
|
|
Do any of you keep contacts in your phone for people you're no longer with. I deleted a couple that didn't work out and now a number has texted me and I have no idea if it's one of them or not. I probably should have kept them at least for a bit. I don't wanna "new phone who dis" them and have it turn out to be someone I don't want to talk to.
|
Have you tried checkin the number on FB? And unless the split is gruesome I did tend to keep em but it's been years since that happened last time.
|
On December 07 2016 07:01 Ben... wrote: Do any of you keep contacts in your phone for people you're no longer with. I deleted a couple that didn't work out and now a number has texted me and I have no idea if it's one of them or not. I probably should have kept them at least for a bit. I don't wanna "new phone who dis" them and have it turn out to be someone I don't want to talk to. I don't see why that would be so bad.
1. Go full retard and act like you got their name and trying to keep a conversation, hoping that you will figure it out. 2. Google the number. 3. Tell them you occasionally delete numbers you have not a lot of contact with anymore.
|
|
|
|
|
|