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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada18041 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-29 19:18:32
November 29 2016 19:04 GMT
#17961
going from no car at all to a Toyota Tercel and then to a modified Camaro Z28 made a big difference in the girls i could get as i progressed through high school.

in high school it was cars. in adulthood its personal wealth. same shit different phase of life.

i have plenty of female friends who will not go out with a guy who does not own a car.
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-29 19:35:30
November 29 2016 19:25 GMT
#17962
I don't disagree with your experiences, I disagree with your interpretations of them. But who am I to tell you that you're wrong? There's no sacred text on this stuff.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18876 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-29 19:29:46
November 29 2016 19:27 GMT
#17963
It should come as no surprise that Randians have trouble conceiving of relationships outside the context of abject materialism. Thanks for being that guy, JJR.

For everyone else, if you've come to the conclusion that a lack of money is why you don't have a girlfriend, you need to do some more self-reflection.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
November 29 2016 19:54 GMT
#17964
What are Randians?
passive quaranstream fan
LegalLord
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
United States13779 Posts
November 29 2016 20:36 GMT
#17965
On November 30 2016 04:54 Artisreal wrote:
What are Randians?

Followers of Ayn Rand philosophical school of thought.
History will sooner or later sweep the European Union away without mercy.
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4222 Posts
November 29 2016 23:30 GMT
#17966
On November 30 2016 00:11 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 29 2016 23:58 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
i recall the leader of my high school crime gang constantly getting into fights and beating the crap out of a lot of guys. In high school he never lost a fight.. his record was somewhere around 60-0. He nailed every hot girl he wanted. His peers and school mates would jealously proclaim "1 day he is going to run into a guy with a gun and he'll be dead".

Well nothing anything that dramatic ever happened. What has happened over the last 10 years is this... he keeps breaking his wrists, hands, and fingers on the broken bodies of his victims. You can't keep breaking the tiny bones in your hands over and over again and get a full recovery without some very expensive physiotherapy. He can't afford it. He can't play the guitar more than 1 hour a day because his hands are fucked. There are all kinds of regular jobs the guy can't do because of his hands.

A gun never killed this guy. Attrition has killed this guy. A guy who got the hottest girls every high school party he attended... a guy who screwed 20 girls over a 1 year period when he was 18... now has a 200+ lb girlfriend with diabetes and 3 kids.

Where the fuck do you live?

Shit like that would never fly on any respectable school.

Sounds reasonable for Canada, believe it or not. You say that it wouldn't fly in any respectable school, but the regulations for high schools in Canada are very much in the favor of the student, the guy pretty much has to intentionally set the school on fire to get expelled..... I know people like that as well.
~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
spacecoke
Profile Joined April 2010
Sweden112 Posts
November 30 2016 14:00 GMT
#17967
On November 30 2016 04:04 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
going from no car at all to a Toyota Tercel and then to a modified Camaro Z28 made a big difference in the girls i could get as i progressed through high school.

in high school it was cars. in adulthood its personal wealth. same shit different phase of life.

i have plenty of female friends who will not go out with a guy who does not own a car.


I think you and I are living in two different universes. I have slept with many good looking women in my days and I don't even have a driver's licence. :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrCWmQZqPT4
Keniji
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Netherlands2569 Posts
November 30 2016 15:13 GMT
#17968
On November 30 2016 23:00 spacecoke wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2016 04:04 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
going from no car at all to a Toyota Tercel and then to a modified Camaro Z28 made a big difference in the girls i could get as i progressed through high school.

in high school it was cars. in adulthood its personal wealth. same shit different phase of life.

i have plenty of female friends who will not go out with a guy who does not own a car.


I think you and I are living in two different universes. I have slept with many good looking women in my days and I don't even have a driver's licence. :D


Well, you live in Europe.

I had beautiful, well-educated women have no trouble riding on the back of my bike after a date. And that was in my mid-twenties. (but I live in the Netherlands so...)
LegalLord
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
United States13779 Posts
November 30 2016 15:18 GMT
#17969
In a bigger country, it's much less feasible to live without a car. I'd imagine that factor would matter much more in the US or Canada than in a tiny and densely populated European country.
History will sooner or later sweep the European Union away without mercy.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
November 30 2016 15:46 GMT
#17970
It's pretty much impossible to live without a car here. Since no one else uses it, our public transportation gets left behind, compounding the problem. So if you don't have a car you pretty much can't do anything, which makes it a lot harder to date.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
solidbebe
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands4921 Posts
November 30 2016 17:13 GMT
#17971
I live in a city where everything (including the university where I study) is within 15 - 30 minutes walking distance, including a supermarket at 2 minutes walking distance. But of course I use the bike which means everything is maximally 10 - 15 minutes.

The idea of needing a car to get around is so strange to me. In fact, almost no young people have a car here because they are so expensive and so unnecessary.

So yeah in terms of dating I don't think any dutch girl would think less of you for not having a car.
That's the 2nd time in a week I've seen someone sig a quote from this GD and I have never witnessed a sig quote happen in my TL history ever before. -Najda
LegalLord
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
United States13779 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-30 19:29:32
November 30 2016 17:30 GMT
#17972
I live in something of an average city. The closest good grocery store is a 15 minute walk away, which is absolutely manageable. Grade schools, the same. Most restaurants and specialty stores are further, like 30-40 minutes walking. Parks and the like are 10 minutes away. An airport is maybe 15km away, universities from 20 to 50 km away. Same with corporate entities; my previous job was a 50 km drive in one direction, which is on the high side but not out of the ordinary.

We have more land and therefore much less densely populated cities. On the plus side, it becomes easier to live in a house instead of an apartment, which does make it worth it. But yes, life without a car is troublesome.

Some of the denser cities in the country (New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco) are quite similar to the European ones in that cars are a luxury and useful, but hard to afford. But for me, it's a necessity.
History will sooner or later sweep the European Union away without mercy.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
November 30 2016 19:35 GMT
#17973
Oh my GF definitely thinks less of me and in Prague you don't really need it
It's just a symbol of status in some families
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
December 01 2016 11:13 GMT
#17974
I agree with the assessment that if you think money is the reason you ain't getting any you are wrong. It happened more than once that I would succeed with a girl whom my much more successful (financially) and sometimes even more handsome friends failed with.

Sure it can help but just as with good looks or extraordinary talent the main reason is that it makes you more confident.
Dark_Chill
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada3353 Posts
December 01 2016 15:24 GMT
#17975
On December 01 2016 20:13 B.I.G. wrote:
I agree with the assessment that if you think money is the reason you ain't getting any you are wrong. It happened more than once that I would succeed with a girl whom my much more successful (financially) and sometimes even more handsome friends failed with.

Sure it can help but just as with good looks or extraordinary talent the main reason is that it makes you more confident.

The main reason is certainly not confidence. Just look at dating websites and apps. A good picture tells you way more about looks than confidence or whatever.
People really need to stop being scared that some factors in dating are only slightly controlled by them. Money helps because you can buy status, and in some ways buy looks. You can buy more expensive hobbies and experiences, and the more unique these are the more interesting to others they might be.
Money is never the only reason, nor is it the main reason for success or failure. Ignoring it, however, and calling the other side "gold diggers" helps no one.
CUTE MAKES RIGHT
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
December 02 2016 23:28 GMT
#17976
My someone sent me an advent calendar! wohoo!
Accidentally opened the "6th" door that was posted yesterday and already arrived in the mail.
I suppose the unknown package at the post office should be the rest.
Excited!
passive quaranstream fan
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada18041 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-03 16:04:02
December 03 2016 15:39 GMT
#17977
On November 30 2016 04:27 farvacola wrote:
It should come as no surprise that Randians have trouble conceiving of relationships outside the context of abject materialism. Thanks for being that guy, JJR.

For everyone else, if you've come to the conclusion that a lack of money is why you don't have a girlfriend, you need to do some more self-reflection.


On November 30 2016 05:36 LegalLord wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 30 2016 04:54 Artisreal wrote:
What are Randians?

Followers of Ayn Rand philosophical school of thought.

Actually, i'm a Devers//Nathaniel Brandenian. Miss Rand stated her diametric opposition to them.

is some of what Rand say true? yes.
is every word she ever uttered 100% gospel truth? no.

Dr. Branden wrote about 20 books. For a good insight into his perspective i recommend "Taking Responsibility: Self Reliance and the Accountable Life". Chapter 8 about creating a culture of accountability is particularly close to my viewpoint.

I'm much more a Brandenian than a Randian. Even with Dr. Branden I do not agree with every word he wrote.

Dr. Branden primarily concerns himself with spiritual pursuits rather than material pursuits.
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Talula
Profile Joined March 2015
United States19 Posts
December 03 2016 15:42 GMT
#17978
Speaking from a women's perspective, I won't go out with a guy who doesn't own a car. I'm not materialistic, but a car is a necessity.
No Justice, No Peace
Rocket-Bear
Profile Joined July 2014
3070 Posts
December 03 2016 15:45 GMT
#17979
On December 04 2016 00:42 Talula wrote:
Speaking from a women's perspective, I won't go out with a guy who doesn't own a car. I'm not materialistic, but a car is a necessity.

Do you have a car yourself?
Favorite players: Gh and Zai
Talula
Profile Joined March 2015
United States19 Posts
December 03 2016 15:49 GMT
#17980
On December 04 2016 00:45 Rocket-Bear wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 04 2016 00:42 Talula wrote:
Speaking from a women's perspective, I won't go out with a guy who doesn't own a car. I'm not materialistic, but a car is a necessity.

Do you have a car yourself?


I do! I have a car, my own place, a dog, a job. It just feels weird to have to pick up a guy. What else will I have to "pick up" ?
No Justice, No Peace
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