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Dating: How's your luck? - Page 897

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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18857 Posts
November 27 2016 13:29 GMT
#17921
Plenty of men have trouble coming to terms with the fact that their relationship problems are directly related to them being uncaring douchebags. The dumb acronym can't change this
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
NewSunshine
Profile Joined July 2011
United States5938 Posts
November 27 2016 16:31 GMT
#17922
Because I guess people think that if they come up with a name for it, it legitimizes their pathetic bullshit, and removes the blame from them, conveniently putting it on everyone else. That makes you a coward, not a man.
"If you find yourself feeling lost, take pride in the accuracy of your feelings." - Night Vale
Rocket-Bear
Profile Joined July 2014
3070 Posts
November 27 2016 16:39 GMT
#17923
On November 27 2016 21:53 LemOn wrote:
Btw I came across something called MGTOW, what exactly is that guys?
Just thinking women are the enemy/evil and deciding never to be in a longer relationship just so they can't abuse/hurt you?

AFAIK, I'm not very researched either but have looked through their subreddit:

It's like 2 groups of people

1. The ex married men who lost a lot of stuff in the divorce which they are angry about. So they decided to never get married again. And they keep insisiting to the not-yet-married people that marriage is not worth it

2..The not so successful guys who see it as reassuring I guess that it's not worth it anyway



I mean if they just want to do their own thing for their rest of their life it's up to them. As long as they are civil towards others etc I don't mind them.
Favorite players: Gh and Zai
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-27 18:03:06
November 27 2016 17:54 GMT
#17924
Meh, it's understandable. It's a very extreme position, but changing social norms and the loss of any generally accepted standards for relationships have left a lot of men bewildered. Then add feelings of frustration and insecurity since society lambastes them for being privileged due to their sex (even though their subjective experience says otherwise) and access to other disaffected men through the Internet and social media. Now you have a network that self-identifies as an interest group and reinforces their own prejudices through hermetic isolation. There's a weak corollary in Japanese "herbivore men" although that's an entirely separate phenomenon.

I know a lot of women who are similarly confused and unsatisfied.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
November 27 2016 20:41 GMT
#17925
On November 28 2016 02:54 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Meh, it's understandable. It's a very extreme position, but changing social norms and the loss of any generally accepted standards for relationships have left a lot of men bewildered. Then add feelings of frustration and insecurity since society lambastes them for being privileged due to their sex (even though their subjective experience says otherwise) and access to other disaffected men through the Internet and social media. Now you have a network that self-identifies as an interest group and reinforces their own prejudices through hermetic isolation. There's a weak corollary in Japanese "herbivore men" although that's an entirely separate phenomenon.

I know a lot of women who are similarly confused and unsatisfied.


For some people getting layed is EXTREMELY difficult with the deck stacked heavily against them.

The dating game is brutal, and some simply decide not worth it.

Also, recognizing that marital laws, particularly in the U.S, are not favorable for man and that you should be cautious isn't particularly radical.
Deleted User 173346
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
16169 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-27 23:46:23
November 27 2016 23:38 GMT
#17926
--- Nuked ---
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
November 28 2016 08:42 GMT
#17927
On November 28 2016 08:38 plasmidghost wrote:
Even though it's only been a week, it feels like my girlfriend and I have been together for so much longer than that. She told me she loves me, which I would normally think was a little early, but I feel exactly the same way about herare

Week being officially together I'm assuming? How long have you been dating?
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-28 13:39:31
November 28 2016 13:37 GMT
#17928
On November 27 2016 11:26 LegalLord wrote:
Even worse is when there is a mutual connection and then somehow something goes wrong and ruins it. Death, religious differences, personal issues, people changing for the worse, and so on. It takes a brutally long time to get over someone who you had a genuinely strong connection with when something went wrong that ruined it.


Sometimes there is just no chemistry. Sometimes one loses interest or meets someone else. Sometimes something out of your control happens like LegalLord mentioned.

Then you have me. I go on a black out drunken rampage and wake up totally clueless to what I did to find out the girl I had been briefly seeing (although genuinely liked) essentially never wants to see me again. It would be sad if it wasn't so hilarious when the blanks got filled in by people that saw me that night.

Oh well, better luck next time ;p
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
November 28 2016 15:00 GMT
#17929
On November 28 2016 22:37 B.I.G. wrote:Then you have me. I go on a black out drunken rampage and wake up totally clueless to what I did to find out the girl I had been briefly seeing (although genuinely liked) essentially never wants to see me again. It would be sad if it wasn't so hilarious when the blanks got filled in by people that saw me that night.

My liquiddota dating thread brain is tingling. I sense that a story needs to be told
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Deleted User 173346
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
16169 Posts
November 28 2016 17:24 GMT
#17930
--- Nuked ---
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17518 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-28 18:47:08
November 28 2016 18:46 GMT
#17931
now that i'm an old man i don't do this any longer.. but this reminds me of me 10+ years ago.

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


it isn't easy being green.
On November 28 2016 08:38 plasmidghost wrote:
Even though it's only been a week, it feels like my girlfriend and I have been together for so much longer than that. She told me she loves me, which I would normally think was a little early, but I feel exactly the same way about her
Show nested quote +
On November 27 2016 21:53 LemOn wrote:
Btw I came across something called MGTOW, what exactly is that guys?
Just thinking women are the enemy/evil and deciding never to be in a longer relationship just so they can't abuse/hurt you?

Men going their own way should be more accurately called men sent their own way, because that's exactly what they are

if one is truly "going your own way" why would one align with a group? i don't get it. is this thing MGTOW thing a group or something else?
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
solidbebe
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands4921 Posts
November 28 2016 18:55 GMT
#17932
They're just a bunch of losers on the internet, nothing more
That's the 2nd time in a week I've seen someone sig a quote from this GD and I have never witnessed a sig quote happen in my TL history ever before. -Najda
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
November 28 2016 19:00 GMT
#17933
On November 29 2016 02:24 plasmidghost wrote:
We were talking online for a while beforehand, but we didn't meet face-to-face until last Saturday

Uhhh... That's one way to go about it I guess

Have you been skyping etc before hand? Otherwise it sounds like you're moving extremely fast, not that I think it's necessarily something wrong with that, but if it was me I would be scared of crashing and burning equally fast.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17518 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-28 19:08:26
November 28 2016 19:07 GMT
#17934
On November 29 2016 03:55 solidbebe wrote:
They're just a bunch of losers on the internet, nothing more

i read some of this MGTOW stuff and they are just angry guys who got fucked over. caveat emptor. welcome to the free market guys!

i have an idea. Let's role-play age-regress back to grade 8 and have a pretend grade 8 dance. Let's bring together the MGTOW guys and the "we are living in a rape culture" university women into 1 dance hall. i'll be the DJ.
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17518 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-28 20:20:53
November 28 2016 20:15 GMT
#17935
On November 28 2016 05:41 GoTuNk! wrote:
For some people getting layed is EXTREMELY difficult with the deck stacked heavily against them. The dating game is brutal, and some simply decide not worth it.
Also, recognizing that marital laws, particularly in the U.S, are not favorable for man and that you should be cautious isn't particularly radical.

winning the "dating" game for me largely boils down to how much money i'm making. when it becomes clear i'm making $70/hour women who would not have given me the time of day find excuses to talk to me. my physical appearance improved from age 18 to 24 and it made a moderate difference. the big thing for me is money.

women had little to no interest in me when i went through university; i had to work several odd jobs to pay my way through university so i had no time for a relationship any way. a quick and easy fuck of a few 6/10 or 5/10 girls was possible but i was just feeling too anti-social.

in my jurisdiction marriage laws favour women. If you have the resources to assemble an adequate legal team i'd say its 52/48 in favour of women. if you have no resources and are poor i'd say its 70/30 in favour of women.

in my jurisdiction you have to have the money to initiate a civil legal proceeding if the woman in your life decides to start making stuff up and issuing false accusations to law enforcement. as long as you hold that hammer its rare for a woman to try that crap. but u need that hammer. and that hammer costs money.

poor guys are s.o.l.
solution: make money
+ Show Spoiler +

Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18857 Posts
November 28 2016 20:23 GMT
#17936
Some of the biggest ladies men I've ever met had no money whatsoever.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17518 Posts
November 28 2016 20:31 GMT
#17937
most guys i've known for 10+ years are far more smooth with women ( and people in general ) at 25 than 15. and that helps as well.
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
November 28 2016 20:37 GMT
#17938
May seem like a dumb question, but why don't you stay away from those women who you portray as only preying on the money?
The thing about marriage comes to effect much later, or do you marry after the second date? Is it so essential to marry anyway? I'm not trying to be rude or sth, just being curious.
I've been with my partner for... like 6 years and we've never really thought about marrying yet. No kids though.
passive quaranstream fan
Uldridge
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Belgium5160 Posts
November 28 2016 20:41 GMT
#17939
Hey man, a trophy wife ain't a bad thing necessarily.
Taxes are for Terrans
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
November 28 2016 20:43 GMT
#17940
On November 29 2016 05:31 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
most guys i've known for 10+ years are far more smooth with women ( and people in general ) at 25 than 15. and that helps as well.


Yeah age helps a lot. I was a total dork at 15 and a mild dork until 22 or so I think, in retrospective (Recently turned 26 now).
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