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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Deleted User 173346
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
16169 Posts
November 24 2016 20:39 GMT
#17901
--- Nuked ---
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
November 25 2016 01:12 GMT
#17902
Nope. My girlfriend is a lighter skinned Indian and we live in Canada, west of Toronto(not Brampton or Mississauga) and we don't get any glances. The only time it felt kinda weird was when we went to a mall and I realized I was the only non-brown person I could see.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
November 25 2016 03:35 GMT
#17903
On November 25 2016 05:39 plasmidghost wrote:
For those who have been in interracial relationships, do you ever feel like people stare at you in public?

Yeah I guess ? You find it so normal after a while you assume they stare at your shirt or something :D
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46692 Posts
November 25 2016 04:31 GMT
#17904
My fiancée is Filipina and I'm (white) Italian, but dating a Filipina isn't as "shunned" as other interracial couples in the United States.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46692 Posts
November 25 2016 04:36 GMT
#17905
On November 24 2016 08:57 Uldridge wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 24 2016 02:43 solidbebe wrote:
That's everyone

Wait, how is 4 possible choices for a partner equate to everyone?


You gave a tautology: either your significant other is similar to your parents or they aren't.

Duh
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
November 25 2016 08:04 GMT
#17906
Depends where you are I guess. If you are a foreigner dating a local you might get some glances and dissaproval I guess.
LegalLord
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
United States13779 Posts
November 25 2016 08:19 GMT
#17907
It's less noticeable than something like the woman being taller than the man, which is definitely very noticeable.
History will sooner or later sweep the European Union away without mercy.
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
November 25 2016 08:26 GMT
#17908
The only negative experience I've had was my (then) indian GF avoiding been seen by people of her parent's circle. Rushing by indian restaurants and so on. Idk if this fits your question.
Friends of mine had worse experiences though. A Japanese-German couple got stared at intensely by an old lady in the Ubahn (actually only she got stared at).
Other than that mostly gay couples getting insulted. Like a random guy walking up to their table - in a known radical leftist pub mind you - and telling them how they are disgusting, just need a good fuck and that he knows the manager and will have them thrown out. All of that happened in Berlin.

Personally I only got stares when I was in a small town in Brazil with my (now) GF, we're both of very bright skin colour. Though it was rather positive than negative discrimination.
passive quaranstream fan
Deleted User 173346
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
16169 Posts
November 27 2016 00:16 GMT
#17909
--- Nuked ---
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4222 Posts
November 27 2016 02:09 GMT
#17910
So, funny story. I was just out shopping for Christmas presents (many stores still have black friday deals on where I live), and there was gift wrapping available in the mall with proceeds going to charity, so I figured I would take advantage of that. While my stuff was getting wrapped, an older woman and I struck up a conversation, and she was quite impressed that I already have most of my Christmas shopping done at this point, as most men put that kind of thing off until very close to Christmas. She mentioned that I'll be good husband material someday. I found that quite funny, as right now I'm having terrible luck with women. 5 dates in the last week (one of which was earlier today), and I struck out each time. And that ratio of success is pretty consistent in the last few months. It seems like the women I'm interested in aren't interested in me, and I'm not interested in the ones that are interested in me.
~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
LegalLord
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
United States13779 Posts
November 27 2016 02:26 GMT
#17911
On November 27 2016 11:09 Impervious wrote:
It seems like the women I'm interested in aren't interested in me, and I'm not interested in the ones that are interested in me.

It sucks but it absolutely does happen to everyone. That's why threads like this are so popular - because it's an issue everyone has or had and it's something we all are very familiar with.

Even worse is when there is a mutual connection and then somehow something goes wrong and ruins it. Death, religious differences, personal issues, people changing for the worse, and so on. It takes a brutally long time to get over someone who you had a genuinely strong connection with when something went wrong that ruined it.
History will sooner or later sweep the European Union away without mercy.
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
November 27 2016 03:16 GMT
#17912
On November 25 2016 05:39 plasmidghost wrote:
For those who have been in interracial relationships, do you ever feel like people stare at you in public?

My girlfriend is south asian (and I am not) and the only people that stare at us/her are south asian men. And not just people not from the US, I have even met some dudes born in the US who are really creepy/hostile to her or both of us. It happens to a lesser extent with black men but in that case I've only ever experienced it outside of a university setting.

And of course I'm not saying all brown men in the US do this, but a surprisingly large amount do.
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
November 27 2016 04:09 GMT
#17913
On November 27 2016 11:09 Impervious wrote:
It seems like the women I'm interested in aren't interested in me, and I'm not interested in the ones that are interested in me.


That seems to be a universal problem lmao.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada18041 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-27 04:55:53
November 27 2016 04:45 GMT
#17914
On November 23 2016 21:51 B.I.G. wrote:
So I once heard somewhere that girls tend to fall for/end up with men that remind them of their fathers or brothers (or other men they grew up very close to). Do you think the same is true vice versa? I'm seeing a girl now that when I think about it in a lot of ways behaves the way I would imagine my sister would behave towards the significant others in her life.

Funny enough her husband has many characteristics in common with me..


my friends whose moms did nothing except be housewives have a lot of difficulty maintaining a long term relationship with an accomplished driven career woman. its fascinating to watch this happen.

my mom has done a lot of cool stuff in her career. i'm totally cool with accomplished women.. some of my friends are thrown off by them.. on some deeper level. i suspect it violates their subconscious view of what a woman is.

a couple of friends of mine view women as "dumb" and "not as smart as men". who are all their female friends? alcoholic waitresses and barmaids. they surround themselves with stupid, demotivated women who are stuck in dead end jobs that force them to use their sexuality to maximize their income. This goes a long way to "proving" their viewpoint correct.

if you gave a human being the choice between being "happy" and being "right". Most humans would choose to be "right".
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
LegalLord
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
United States13779 Posts
November 27 2016 04:52 GMT
#17915
On November 27 2016 13:45 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
a couple of friends of mine view women as "dumb" and "not as smart as men". who are all their female friends? alcoholic waitresses and barmaids. they surround themselves with stupid, demotivated women who are stuck in dead end jobs that force them to use their sexuality to maximize their income. This goes a long way to "proving" their viewpoint correct.

I definitely have noticed that people who are insecure about their status as a person seek out people who are pathetic enough to make them feel good about themselves as they are. This is something of a sub-example of that.
History will sooner or later sweep the European Union away without mercy.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-27 10:28:48
November 27 2016 10:24 GMT
#17916
On November 27 2016 11:09 Impervious wrote:It seems like the women I'm interested in aren't interested in me, and I'm not interested in the ones that are interested in me.

Life.

Maybe this will one day change for me.

On November 27 2016 11:26 LegalLord wrote:
Even worse is when there is a mutual connection and then somehow something goes wrong and ruins it. Death, religious differences, personal issues, people changing for the worse, and so on. It takes a brutally long time to get over someone who you had a genuinely strong connection with when something went wrong that ruined it.

Yeah I agree. Still want to date a girl who was really interested then just vanished.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-27 12:50:35
November 27 2016 12:45 GMT
#17917
On November 27 2016 11:09 Impervious wrote:
So, funny story. I was just out shopping for Christmas presents (many stores still have black friday deals on where I live), and there was gift wrapping available in the mall with proceeds going to charity, so I figured I would take advantage of that. While my stuff was getting wrapped, an older woman and I struck up a conversation, and she was quite impressed that I already have most of my Christmas shopping done at this point, as most men put that kind of thing off until very close to Christmas. She mentioned that I'll be good husband material someday. I found that quite funny, as right now I'm having terrible luck with women. 5 dates in the last week (one of which was earlier today), and I struck out each time. And that ratio of success is pretty consistent in the last few months. It seems like the women I'm interested in aren't interested in me, and I'm not interested in the ones that are interested in me.

I'm not sure what you mean by "struck out"
Your mentality should be that she's there at an audition for your time (and vice versa)
All dating is unless you just want sex for the sake of it is simply trying to show your true honest self and finding someone compatible that you find amazing and drawn to that feels the same about you.
If you don't want to settle that stuff's pretty rare, I'd say if out of 100 online dates where you can't pre-screen instant chemistry (or lack of) 10 girls will probably click really fast, and of those what, 2-4 will be really compatible in terms of values/views etc.?
It's not strucking out, just a simple matter of chance. The numbers will differ for all people (If you're rich, confident good looking with compatible views and values with mainstream society it goes down and vice versa) but it's just a matter of time and effort really.

Otherwise you'd just end up with literally every single woman you come across as you'd have strong chemistry and interjection of views and values, and that'd be damn boring I think? And if that were the case I assume monogamy would be purely for the sake of making children, as you could go out any second and get someone equally great/compatible and you'd never actually have a reason to work on a great person when you get to challenging stages of your being together.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-11-27 12:54:14
November 27 2016 12:53 GMT
#17918
Btw I came across something called MGTOW, what exactly is that guys?
Just thinking women are the enemy/evil and deciding never to be in a longer relationship just so they can't abuse/hurt you?
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
November 27 2016 13:13 GMT
#17919
On November 27 2016 21:53 LemOn wrote:
Btw I came across something called MGTOW, what exactly is that guys?
Just thinking women are the enemy/evil and deciding never to be in a longer relationship just so they can't abuse/hurt you?

My first (uneducated) impression is that this org. seems to be quite similar to Mike Buchanan's "Justice for men and boys (and the women who love them)".


M.G.T.O.W – Men Going Their Own Way is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else. It is the manifestation of one word: “No”. Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a “man” is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn’t.

I'd distance myself from that as far as humanly possible. While one may agree that staying sovereign in a relationship is a good thing, it applys no matter the gender. And the focus of MGTOW obviuosly is men being taken advantage of by mean, cruel, self-centered and selfish women.
The wording in the paragraph I quoted, taken from the "about" section paints a very one sided picture. And as I said a couple of pages ago, while you cannot deny individual experiences, it is a logical fallacy to transfer whatever has been done to you to every woman on the planet.

Other quotes:

Do not get fucking married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t scream it loud enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- 7 May 2020 | MGTOW Member counting down the days until the payments stop


A prenup is like a kevlar glove on your dick before putting it in the wood chipper. Why not just avoid putting it in the wood chipper? Run. Run far. Run fast.


Being MGTOW means never having to say “HAPPY VALENTINES DAY” to some useless cunt that stopped being “interesting” 5 years ago.

so yeah. my 2 cent are: GTFO from those people trying to blame someone else for their (former) misery.
passive quaranstream fan
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
November 27 2016 13:18 GMT
#17920
On November 27 2016 21:53 LemOn wrote:
Btw I came across something called MGTOW, what exactly is that guys?
Just thinking women are the enemy/evil and deciding never to be in a longer relationship just so they can't abuse/hurt you?

I've never heard of it before. Googled it, it just sounds like sad guys have given up on finding a girl due to rejection etc.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
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