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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Geez, being (sexually) together with this girl is still not an overall good experience. I did improve myself from last time, but her attitude is extremely annoying, and when I don't see that extra effort in her, it makes me not wanting to do anything, let alone confidently lead her on what to do.
If the relationship doesn't work, break up with her. If sex is an effort at the beginning, it is not going to just magically improve, and it is completely possible that you two are simply not sexually compatible.
As for the internet on psychological disorders: do not believe a word anything it says. Pseudoscientific claptrap is the best you can find. If you want to work on psychological problems, talk to a doctor (who will be able to refer you to a psychologist/psychiatrist. You could also go to the former immediately if you don't think a clinical solution is what you need).
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I don't personally think or feel I need help. It's more of a shadowy "oh, maybe I'm the grand problem in the equation!" thought. I am personally fine with myself, and the things I'd eventually change or on track to changing a bit imo doesn't require a professional help.
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hey y'all
so I'm crushing quite hard on one of my coworkers. we've worked together every Friday for about a year or so now, and a couple of months ago I became confident that I had feelings for her. a few weeks ago I worked up the guts to finally ask her on a date, to which she expressed that while that is something she would like to do, it's pretty difficult for her to make time for a romantic life (she is 35 with 2 kids, and I'm 25. our work hours are also pretty enduring). she has always been a relatively flirtatious person, so I just excused that as part of her banter, but ever since I asked her out she's been showing so much more interest in me, and has been flirting back much harder than I remember. there's no doubt some differences in our lifestyles, as well as a small cultural gap (she is from Honduras and her English isn't great, but I speak Spanish at a conversational degree pretty well, so we end up understanding each other almost seamlessly). I believe that I am a rather perceptive person, and I honestly don't think she would be cranking up the charm now that she knows I do have feelings for her, which is something I have expressed explicitly. I get the feeling that she is slightly embarrassed at the age gap between us, and that maybe she feels as though it is unfair to burden me with her lifestyle as a single mother. I am at a point in my life where I would heavily prefer to settle down, though. I love kids, and while I know it is quite a lot of work added into the equation, I wouldn't mind them whatsoever. I also am rather picky when it comes to finding a romantic partner and I can't settle for just looks and sparks in personality. I think she is great, and that we learn so much when we are together. I find that I am pretty infatuated with her and daydream about her pretty constantly. basically, I know it is in poor taste to constantly prod and annoy her trying to set a date up, but i still want her to know that I am very much willing to take a chance on her and see if something can happen. I would love to get some insight as I've never really experienced something like this in my life
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United States15275 Posts
On October 05 2016 17:10 Volband wrote:
Geez, being (sexually) together with this girl is still not an overall good experience. I did improve myself from last time, but her attitude is extremely annoying, and when I don't see that extra effort in her, it makes me not wanting to do anything, let alone confidently lead her on what to do.
Well, that's very vague. She could be a selfish cunt who only thinks about herself, and it's best to dump her and move on with your life. Or you improved yourself in one way but not the crucial way, and she recognizes that instinctively. Or she has other stuff going on in her life that's bleeding in her personal life, and you're paying for it. Or you're seeking validation in some manner and it's turning her off. Or she's a starfish.
On October 05 2016 17:10 Volband wrote:
Anyway, I don't even want to bother thinking about that right now. My question for the day would be: is dating/being with a narcissist really that unbearable? I am one for sure, and the things I read about it on the internet sounds kinda ridiculous. Attention seeking tantrums and mild manipulation aside (yeah-yeah, but no one's a saint), I don't feel like a shitty person, or someone who is "incapable of empathy or love".
To start off, let's make a distinction between narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism in terms of behavior is very common. Most people will exhibit those traits from time to time depending on the specific circumstance, but it doesn't indicate a psychological disorder. So you might be narcissistic in your love life but that's it. In that case you're just a pain in the ass. By contrast NPD is very rare; less than 1% of the general population is diagnosed with it at any given point. Since it's a personality disorder it's both pathological and inflexible i.e. the same patterns of cognition and behavior will manifest in all spheres of your life. No one here can make any claim on that, and most people in your daily life couldn't tell either.
Now people throw out the word "narcissism" a lot these days. Almost every girl who has a bad breakup calls her former lover a narcissist, and it's pretty tempting given that there are so many free resources to familiarize yourself with the general behavior. However, NPD only be determined by a clinical diagnosis. You can read the literature on the subject, check out the Narcissistic Personality Inventory and the DSM-V criteria, etc. if you're interested. But there's no use in identifying as one without professional opinion.
There are also significant problems with diagnosing personality disorders, most specifically heuristic biases married with countertransference, so professional opinion should be taken with a grain of salt as well. If you're male, white, financially well-off, and the psychologist is intimidated for whatever reason, you could be labeled as having NPD on principle.
The other issue is that if you are a narcissist, you wouldn't perceive yourself to have significant problems. You might admit to having a few salient problems, but they would inevitably pale compared to how much dumber/ungrateful/selfish/blahblahblah everyone else is. And of course you would take credit for all the good aspects that do occur. Then again, the perception of most people is tweaked in that manner; in the narcissist's mind, it's cranked up to 11.
On October 05 2016 17:10 Volband wrote:
What's especially annoying, is that you try to set boundaries for yourself not to overload the other person, aka you try to be better, but when you see that the other person is in fact in the wrong, you either explode in yourself, or you try to calmly translate your message to her, but if she doesn't understand/it's not a problem for her, then it's even worse.
What do you mean by "overload"?
This explanation feels a bit like splitting, don't you think?
On October 05 2016 17:10 Volband wrote:
On another note, if someone is not sympathetic (girl or boy, doesn't matter) I don't feel like I should force not being an asshole onto myself.
Someone I knew would claim you are exhibiting a seminal feature of narcissism: a narcissist doesn't adhere to a higher, objective standard of morals/behavior unless it serves his/her individual wants, so the justification for his/her behavior shifts according to whatever works. In other words you claim you shouldn't restrict your true feelings because she's not sympathetic, but it doesn't occur to you to not be an asshole because it's the right thing to do. Since it invokes a moral component independent of the society's norms, it could never be accepted as part of a diagnostic criteria. However, you should think about it anyway.
On October 05 2016 17:53 Acrofales wrote:
As for the internet on psychological disorders: do not believe a word anything it says. Pseudoscientific claptrap is the best you can find.
Psychology is pseudo-scientific claptrap. It's just helpful pseudo-scientific claptrap.
On October 06 2016 02:31 mentalmath wrote:
hey y'all
so I'm crushing quite hard on one of my coworkers. we've worked together every Friday for about a year or so now, and a couple of months ago I became confident that I had feelings for her. a few weeks ago I worked up the guts to finally ask her on a date, to which she expressed that while that is something she would like to do, it's pretty difficult for her to make time for a romantic life (she is 35 with 2 kids, and I'm 25. our work hours are also pretty enduring). she has always been a relatively flirtatious person, so I just excused that as part of her banter, but ever since I asked her out she's been showing so much more interest in me, and has been flirting back much harder than I remember. there's no doubt some differences in our lifestyles, as well as a small cultural gap (she is from Honduras and her English isn't great, but I speak Spanish at a conversational degree pretty well, so we end up understanding each other almost seamlessly). I believe that I am a rather perceptive person, and I honestly don't think she would be cranking up the charm now that she knows I do have feelings for her, which is something I have expressed explicitly. I get the feeling that she is slightly embarrassed at the age gap between us, and that maybe she feels as though it is unfair to burden me with her lifestyle as a single mother. I am at a point in my life where I would heavily prefer to settle down, though. I love kids, and while I know it is quite a lot of work added into the equation, I wouldn't mind them whatsoever. I also am rather picky when it comes to finding a romantic partner and I can't settle for just looks and sparks in personality. I think she is great, and that we learn so much when we are together. I find that I am pretty infatuated with her and daydream about her pretty constantly. basically, I know it is in poor taste to constantly prod and annoy her trying to set a date up, but i still want her to know that I am very much willing to take a chance on her and see if something can happen. I would love to get some insight as I've never really experienced something like this in my life
Insight into...what, exactly? Insight into your feelings or the dynamic of the relationship itself?
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[B]On October 06 2016 04:14 CosmicSpiral wrote: Show nested quote +On October 06 2016 02:31 mentalmath wrote:
hey y'all
so I'm crushing quite hard on one of my coworkers. we've worked together every Friday for about a year or so now, and a couple of months ago I became confident that I had feelings for her. a few weeks ago I worked up the guts to finally ask her on a date, to which she expressed that while that is something she would like to do, it's pretty difficult for her to make time for a romantic life (she is 35 with 2 kids, and I'm 25. our work hours are also pretty enduring). she has always been a relatively flirtatious person, so I just excused that as part of her banter, but ever since I asked her out she's been showing so much more interest in me, and has been flirting back much harder than I remember. there's no doubt some differences in our lifestyles, as well as a small cultural gap (she is from Honduras and her English isn't great, but I speak Spanish at a conversational degree pretty well, so we end up understanding each other almost seamlessly). I believe that I am a rather perceptive person, and I honestly don't think she would be cranking up the charm now that she knows I do have feelings for her, which is something I have expressed explicitly. I get the feeling that she is slightly embarrassed at the age gap between us, and that maybe she feels as though it is unfair to burden me with her lifestyle as a single mother. I am at a point in my life where I would heavily prefer to settle down, though. I love kids, and while I know it is quite a lot of work added into the equation, I wouldn't mind them whatsoever. I also am rather picky when it comes to finding a romantic partner and I can't settle for just looks and sparks in personality. I think she is great, and that we learn so much when we are together. I find that I am pretty infatuated with her and daydream about her pretty constantly. basically, I know it is in poor taste to constantly prod and annoy her trying to set a date up, but i still want her to know that I am very much willing to take a chance on her and see if something can happen. I would love to get some insight as I've never really experienced something like this in my life Insight into...what, exactly? Insight into your feelings or the dynamic of the relationship itself?
insight into my feelings. am I perceiving things correctly with the information I have given?
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On October 06 2016 04:49 mentalmath wrote:Show nested quote +[B]On October 06 2016 04:14 CosmicSpiral wrote: On October 06 2016 02:31 mentalmath wrote:
hey y'all
so I'm crushing quite hard on one of my coworkers. we've worked together every Friday for about a year or so now, and a couple of months ago I became confident that I had feelings for her. a few weeks ago I worked up the guts to finally ask her on a date, to which she expressed that while that is something she would like to do, it's pretty difficult for her to make time for a romantic life (she is 35 with 2 kids, and I'm 25. our work hours are also pretty enduring). she has always been a relatively flirtatious person, so I just excused that as part of her banter, but ever since I asked her out she's been showing so much more interest in me, and has been flirting back much harder than I remember. there's no doubt some differences in our lifestyles, as well as a small cultural gap (she is from Honduras and her English isn't great, but I speak Spanish at a conversational degree pretty well, so we end up understanding each other almost seamlessly). I believe that I am a rather perceptive person, and I honestly don't think she would be cranking up the charm now that she knows I do have feelings for her, which is something I have expressed explicitly. I get the feeling that she is slightly embarrassed at the age gap between us, and that maybe she feels as though it is unfair to burden me with her lifestyle as a single mother. I am at a point in my life where I would heavily prefer to settle down, though. I love kids, and while I know it is quite a lot of work added into the equation, I wouldn't mind them whatsoever. I also am rather picky when it comes to finding a romantic partner and I can't settle for just looks and sparks in personality. I think she is great, and that we learn so much when we are together. I find that I am pretty infatuated with her and daydream about her pretty constantly. basically, I know it is in poor taste to constantly prod and annoy her trying to set a date up, but i still want her to know that I am very much willing to take a chance on her and see if something can happen. I would love to get some insight as I've never really experienced something like this in my life Insight into...what, exactly? Insight into your feelings or the dynamic of the relationship itself? insight into my feelings. am I perceiving things correctly with the information I have given?
Bro, everything you've said is making me more confident that this woman could be the one for you. I think you should follow your feelings and instincts and ask her out again. Respect her schedule and life so dont bullshit with her, just be straightforward.
That being said, just be cognizant of the fact that she has 2 kids and you may not be the center of her life, expecially in the beginning.
Do you agree?
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Stop prodding. Nobody likes being nagged at and you're being insecure and slightly creepy if you keep weedling he about it. She said no. It might have been due to the constraints of having children, but it might have been a polite excuse to get out without hurting your feelings. Let her know that you're available when she can get a sitter, and give her her space. You having a crush is not her problem.
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United States15275 Posts
On October 06 2016 04:49 mentalmath wrote:
insight into my feelings. am I perceiving things correctly with the information I have given?
It's impossible to say since you can never perceive things correctly, only on a scaling scale towards objectivity. I can only offer some observations.
1. She may like the attention you foster upon her, not you. Remember this is a 35-year-old woman with 2 kids. How many men are itching to jump into that situation compared to her being 25 and single? I imagine she carries around some fears concerning her age and single-mom status e.g. "Will I ever become desperate and settle to avoid loneliness? Who would take a chance on me now that I'm not who I used to be?" She's not "cranking up the charm" intentionally, but she is enjoying the sensation from being wanted despite her life situation. She'll want to stay in that nebulous area (maintaining possibility with no set future date) without committing to anything serious. Emphasis on "may".
2. 90% of the time when someone says they love kids, they mean "I enjoy being around children that aren't mine". This is a naive attitude for this situation. Her children are the focus on her life, and any relationship she gets into is implicitly asking whether the partner can handle being a parent. Do you think you really believe you can handle that expectation right now?
3. I don't know why you want to settle down so young, but this feels like a shortcut towards getting what you want. She has a professional life, children, and is (probably) emotionally mature. Perhaps that's why you're so smitten with her: she gives you everything you desire right off the bat.
4. You are banking a lot on this first date. You are probably investing more into this theoretical meeting than she is. This is not attractive.
Your emotions are valid, but your expectations are idealistic to say the least.
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On October 06 2016 07:00 CosmicSpiral wrote:Show nested quote +On October 06 2016 04:49 mentalmath wrote:
insight into my feelings. am I perceiving things correctly with the information I have given?
It's impossible to say since you can never perceive things correctly, only on a scaling scale towards objectivity. I can only offer some observations. 1. She may like the attention you foster upon her, not you. Remember this is a 35-year-old woman with 2 kids. How many men are itching to jump into that situation compared to her being 25 and single? I imagine she carries around some fears concerning her age and single-mom status e.g. "Will I ever become desperate and settle to avoid loneliness? Who would take a chance on me now that I'm not who I used to be?" She's not "cranking up the charm" intentionally, but she is enjoying the sensation from being wanted despite her life situation. She'll want to stay in that nebulous area (maintaining possibility with no set future date) without committing to anything serious. Emphasis on "may". 2. 90% of the time when someone says they love kids, they mean "I enjoy being around children that aren't mine". This is a naive attitude for this situation. Her children are the focus on her life, and any relationship she gets into is implicitly asking whether the partner can handle being a parent. Do you think you really believe you can handle that expectation right now? 3. I don't know why you want to settle down so young, but this feels like a shortcut towards getting what you want. She has a professional life, children, and is (probably) emotionally mature. Perhaps that's why you're so smitten with her: she gives you everything you desire right off the bat. 4. You are banking a lot on this first date. You are probably investing more into this theoretical meeting than she is. This is not attractive. Your emotions are valid, but your expectations are idealistic to say the least.
I really appreciate this piece of advice. these points all totally hit the nail on the head and was more or less what I was looking to hear. I'm very aware that her children come first, and that my expectations are very idealistic. I also feel that I'm banking way too much on a date in comparison to her. I've already expressed that if she ever wanted to go out that I am indeed available and have not been pressed on the matter since. when I look at the situation it does feel that I am romanticizing the idea of being with her because of the points made in #3. there is no real reason for me to stress about this situation, but it is something I think about often. I am thankful for all the input everyone has given me
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Yeah I like those 4 points too - you're definitely jumping the gun when you didn't even have a date in a romantic setting - being in the present moment is pretty important.
As to practicalities of this basically you ask her out, and if she says no you tell her right there that "okay, well I think you're awesome and I'd really like to take you out so when you change your mind you know where to find me"
And thats all I would do when you work together, and then it's entirely up to her
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Another one.
Went on the date today. While she was nice and all, I feel that she wasn't for me. Mostly because I didn't feel that attracted to her. I also feel a bit tired of dating so I will take a small break from it now.
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So I've been manwhoring a bit in the past few weeks for the heck of it and I've noticed that although I'm pretty OK at meeting women the "oldschool" way (bar, club, cafe, etc) I somehow have like 0 online dating game. This while friends of mine in the same city literally hook up with three women a week through tinder if they make the effort, and trust me, it's not because they are so handsome. Those women I do meet online all seem to think I'm made of 100% boyfriend material.
I guess my question is that what conclusion could I draw from somehow giving off such different vibes online and offline?
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My new neighbour across the street put up a hello sign. I said hello back. She asked wassup? I asked coffee? She drew a dick. I drew a pussy. She said Boom. I said boom boom. She's yet to reply.
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On October 08 2016 00:54 B.I.G. wrote:
So I've been manwhoring a bit in the past few weeks for the heck of it and I've noticed that although I'm pretty OK at meeting women the "oldschool" way (bar, club, cafe, etc) I somehow have like 0 online dating game. This while friends of mine in the same city literally hook up with three women a week through tinder if they make the effort, and trust me, it's not because they are so handsome. Those women I do meet online all seem to think I'm made of 100% boyfriend material.
I guess my question is that what conclusion could I draw from somehow giving off such different vibes online and offline?
Can't speak for you. However I am far worse at first impressions when I'm on a spot. My mind goes blank, I don't know what to say or how far I can take my jokes. While online I have more time to think about what to say. I think I need sort of way of easing into them so I know the limits of what I can say.
It's not that I think I'm bad at talking in real, it's just I don't know how far I can take it with girls and it's easier to find out over text for me. I think it has to do that I'm not really comfortable with talking first approaches in real, however I've spent my entire life talking to strangers online. I could probably change my ways if I wanted to, I would just have to go full Lem0n on them.
Not sure if if it made it clearer for you, just some sort of insight to how I think and feel.
TL:DR you're good at what you have practiced at.
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On October 08 2016 03:53 Skynx wrote:
My new neighbour across the street put up a hello sign. I said hello back. She asked wassup? I asked coffee? She drew a dick. I drew a pussy. She said Boom. I said boom boom. She's yet to reply.
Haha, what! Sounds fun though. Have you seen her? Maybe you just asked a 95 year old lady on a date  .
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On October 06 2016 07:17 mentalmath wrote:Show nested quote +On October 06 2016 07:00 CosmicSpiral wrote:On October 06 2016 04:49 mentalmath wrote:
insight into my feelings. am I perceiving things correctly with the information I have given?
It's impossible to say since you can never perceive things correctly, only on a scaling scale towards objectivity. I can only offer some observations. 1. She may like the attention you foster upon her, not you. Remember this is a 35-year-old woman with 2 kids. How many men are itching to jump into that situation compared to her being 25 and single? I imagine she carries around some fears concerning her age and single-mom status e.g. "Will I ever become desperate and settle to avoid loneliness? Who would take a chance on me now that I'm not who I used to be?" She's not "cranking up the charm" intentionally, but she is enjoying the sensation from being wanted despite her life situation. She'll want to stay in that nebulous area (maintaining possibility with no set future date) without committing to anything serious. Emphasis on "may". 2. 90% of the time when someone says they love kids, they mean "I enjoy being around children that aren't mine". This is a naive attitude for this situation. Her children are the focus on her life, and any relationship she gets into is implicitly asking whether the partner can handle being a parent. Do you think you really believe you can handle that expectation right now? 3. I don't know why you want to settle down so young, but this feels like a shortcut towards getting what you want. She has a professional life, children, and is (probably) emotionally mature. Perhaps that's why you're so smitten with her: she gives you everything you desire right off the bat. 4. You are banking a lot on this first date. You are probably investing more into this theoretical meeting than she is. This is not attractive. Your emotions are valid, but your expectations are idealistic to say the least. I really appreciate this piece of advice. these points all totally hit the nail on the head and was more or less what I was looking to hear. I'm very aware that her children come first, and that my expectations are very idealistic. I also feel that I'm banking way too much on a date in comparison to her. I've already expressed that if she ever wanted to go out that I am indeed available and have not been pressed on the matter since. when I look at the situation it does feel that I am romanticizing the idea of being with her because of the points made in #3. there is no real reason for me to stress about this situation, but it is something I think about often. I am thankful for all the input everyone has given me
Now what you read here is all extremely theoretical and a third-party that can't fully understand the situation. You might indeed be making mountains out of molehills with that first date and convincing yourself that you're ready for a serious relationship (very serious here, kids involved). But I'd advise you to go for it anyway, cause she'll enjoy the attention and you'll be able to "test" yourself. If it works out (which I'd say is a bit unlikely) then great, if it doesn't it'll be a rewarding experience nonetheless. You don't have much to lose here, you're 25 and have got plenty of time on your hands. It might be invaluable to actually get a peak into how your life would be when you really settle down.
Don't only consider the hypothetical negative outcomes. You like her, she obviously likes you back (at least a little), just try.
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On October 06 2016 22:57 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Another one.
Went on the date today. While she was nice and all, I feel that she wasn't for me. Mostly because I didn't feel that attracted to her. I also feel a bit tired of dating so I will take a small break from it now.
Welcome to the club. I deleted Tinder and have been on a month break. I might even make it two months. It's been quite freeing to not care about anything.
PS: girl who I was talking about that I cut things off a month or so ago with randomly messaged me a couple days back asking if we are friends now....
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Surely you care about something?
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I had an interesting first date on Saturday. It went from good to bad in an instant. It was like flipping a switch.
I work mon-fri in the service department for a car dealership, and work evenings and weekends in promotional events for the dealership, and met and flirted with a girl while I was at one of these events. She's 25 (I'm 28). She seemed pretty articulate and intelligent, and I definitely found her pretty cute. She said she was going back to school for a second college course. She intrigued me, so I gave her my number. She texted me, so I suggested we meet up a weekend ago, but she wasn't available and suggested we meet up on Saturday instead, which I had assumed was a good sign.
We met for lunch and a drink at a little pub that makes some awesome food. Things were going good, so we took a walk and chatted for a while, then headed to a coffee shop that makes some absolutely amazing pastries and cakes. After that, I walked her to her car. When we got there, I gave her a kiss goodbye, which turned into more than just one. She asked where my car was, and that's when I told her I don't have a car.
I don't own one on purpose. I live in Ottawa, which actually has a semi-decent public transport system, and I live in a spot where I can walk to work and to get pretty much anything I need. Uber is now legal in the city, and since I do go out to drink, I don't plan on driving home. And through my work, I get a really good discount for renting vehicles when I need one. I don't need a car, so I don't have one. Given that I work on cars for a living, and own a lot of tools to do so, she couldn't believe that I don't own one by choice, even after trying to explain it to her, and at first she was kinda shocked, before going completely ballistic on me. Actually yelling at me, accusing me of lying about what I'm doing for a living, and whatever else her crazed mind could come up with.
At this point, I realized she's batshit crazy, and I'm glad I found out.
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On October 11 2016 09:26 Impervious wrote:
I had an interesting first date on Saturday. It went from good to bad in an instant. It was like flipping a switch.
I work mon-fri in the service department for a car dealership, and work evenings and weekends in promotional events for the dealership, and met and flirted with a girl while I was at one of these events. She's 25 (I'm 28). She seemed pretty articulate and intelligent, and I definitely found her pretty cute. She said she was going back to school for a second college course. She intrigued me, so I gave her my number. She texted me, so I suggested we meet up a weekend ago, but she wasn't available and suggested we meet up on Saturday instead, which I had assumed was a good sign.
We met for lunch and a drink at a little pub that makes some awesome food. Things were going good, so we took a walk and chatted for a while, then headed to a coffee shop that makes some absolutely amazing pastries and cakes. After that, I walked her to her car. When we got there, I gave her a kiss goodbye, which turned into more than just one. She asked where my car was, and that's when I told her I don't have a car.
I don't own one on purpose. I live in Ottawa, which actually has a semi-decent public transport system, and I live in a spot where I can walk to work and to get pretty much anything I need. Uber is now legal in the city, and since I do go out to drink, I don't plan on driving home. And through my work, I get a really good discount for renting vehicles when I need one. I don't need a car, so I don't have one. Given that I work on cars for a living, and own a lot of tools to do so, she couldn't believe that I don't own one by choice, even after trying to explain it to her, and at first she was kinda shocked, before going completely ballistic on me. Actually yelling at me, accusing me of lying about what I'm doing for a living, and whatever else her crazed mind could come up with.
At this point, I realized she's batshit crazy, and I'm glad I found out.
I'm sorry it ended that way but that's a hell of a story.
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EPT
