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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
My fuck buddy is a bit upset. She says she has gotten a slight crush on me and thinks she will fall for me. We won't see each other for a month or two now, but doesn't look good for our fuck buddy situation. I guess I will be on the lookout for girls again. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On July 10 2016 01:46 bloodwhore~ wrote: Well fuck. My fuck buddy is a bit upset. She says she has gotten a slight crush on me and thinks she will fall for me. We won't see each other for a month or two now, but doesn't look good for our fuck buddy situation. I guess I will be on the lookout for girls again. I guess that is why most "experienced" fuckbuddys cycle their fuckbuddys, otherwise it is almost guaranteed that someone will at least develop temporary feelings or what they mistake for it, given enough time. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On July 10 2016 02:29 WarSame wrote: What do you mean by 'circle'? Like bring them into your social circle? Or rotate them? Yeah rotate them/cycle them around. Not used to posting from my phone. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On July 10 2016 03:07 bloodwhore~ wrote: Yeah that would probably be ideal. It is hard enough to get one fuck buddy though in my opinion :D. I thought sweden to be much more mature when it comes to that. At least I read an article about sexual education in sweden and the resulting impartiality towards casual sex that comes from it. Like casual sex not being looked at weirdly and being quite common while the women themselves often initiating it. To me it not really seems worth it, but whatever floats your boat. As soon as you get your next one you already got 1.5  | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On July 10 2016 03:20 waffelz wrote:I thought sweden to be much more mature when it comes to that. At least I read an article about sexual education in sweden and the resulting impartiality towards casual sex that comes from it. Like casual sex not being looked at weirdly and being quite common while the women themselves often initiating it. Well sure, having sex is not that weird here, haven't really noticed there is a huge difference between other countries. Just because some have a lot of sex doesn't mean they have it with me!  That women would initiate more here? Doubt it. Never had any girl initiate dating/sex with me and haven't heard that it has happened to any of my male friends either. All my friends are basically nerds though so I don't know if it's more common with the more 'basic' males who just party etc. To me it not really seems worth it, but whatever floats your boat. As soon as you get your next one you already got 1.5 What do you mean? | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
As soon as you got another fuckbuddy, you can work on getting the former one back, therefore 1.5. You skirt chaser | ||
[Phantom]
Mexico2170 Posts
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On July 10 2016 06:43 [Phantom] wrote: From what I've seen and from experience, in every casual relationship, given enough time, at least one of them will develop feelings for each other. I guess its natural I believe that boils down to how many of these kinds of relationships you have. If I understand you correctly, you say that even a casual friendship between to people will lead to feelings for each other (as long as sexual preference / other factor stand in the way). I don’t think this is true, unless the relationship is unique. If you are a heterosexual male and you only have one female friend that you spend a lot of time with you are right., some feelings will probably develop. However, if you got multiple female friends which with you spend a lot of time with, I think it wouldn’t necessarily happen since your attention is divided. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On July 10 2016 05:17 waffelz wrote: As soon as you got another fuckbuddy, you can work on getting the former one back, therefore 1.5. You skirt chaser Just because I have another fuck buddy doesn't mean the former one will suddenly want me. She is the one falling in love, not me. In order to try to save this fuck buddy thing I just cut all contact, I said I will talk to her when we both are back in town which is in like 1-2 months. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On July 10 2016 01:46 bloodwhore~ wrote: Well fuck. My fuck buddy is a bit upset. She says she has gotten a slight crush on me and thinks she will fall for me. We won't see each other for a month or two now, but doesn't look good for our fuck buddy situation. I guess I will be on the lookout for girls again. I don't see any issues as long as you are truly openly honest and disciplined with her. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On July 11 2016 07:06 LemOn wrote:I don't see any issues as long as you are truly openly honest and disciplined with her. Well I don't see any problems for me either, and I'm not the one getting a crush. She doesn't want to have sex with me if she is in love with me if she can't be in a relationship with me which I understand. | ||
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Deleted User 173346
16169 Posts
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Uldridge
Belgium5237 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46686 Posts
On July 14 2016 08:17 plasmidghost wrote: Online dating was a mistake I'm ready to accept that I'll never find anyone Confidence is the first thing you need to work on, although I'd imagine it could be difficult if you keep getting knocked down :/ | ||
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Deleted User 173346
16169 Posts
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Beelzebub1
1005 Posts
The only thing that's wrong with you is your desperate for love and women can smell desperate a mile away, get in shape, learn to talk to people, get a job, the women will follow my man. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8942 Posts
its alright to want a relationship, just dont show it so much. girls dont like guys who look desperate and are too 'eager'. nice guys dont finish last but desperate/easy guys do, its just that they dont know it. focus on other things in life such as your career, other hobbies etc. if you learn to find enjoyment in other things and stop trying to find enjoyment through relationships then youll seem like a more attractive person overall. as for me, despite having a fear of committing to a relationship i did end up committing. partly because ive been single for a long time now and i figured its time to get back in the game, and partly because i connect with her a lot on an emotional? level. not sure if emotional is the right word, but its very rare for me to find someone who i can talk comfortably with for prolonged periods of time (i have a 'way' of talking that many korean girls like in friends, but not boyfriends). the only problem is my physical attraction for my current girlfriend isnt peaking. its still early stages and physical attraction is definitely not the most important in a relationship, but if the attraction is minimal what would you guys do? stick with her knowing the chemistry you have with her is rare or look for someone who has it all? | ||
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Ahzz
Finland780 Posts
On July 14 2016 11:43 plasmidghost wrote: "Feel free to messge me for more info!" So I do, and 20% of the time they look at my profile. Less than 10% of the time they message back. Then, after a few exchanges, they just stop talking to me. I wish I had the balls to kill myself, I honestly do, I'm just so unbearably miserable. I had made great progress this year in terms of self-confidence and the like but trying to date over the past 2 months just wiped away any gains I'd made to my mental state. There's just something extra awful about no one wanting to give you a chance because you're ugly or boring or whatever it is All I've ever desired in life is a relationship. I don't care about money, fame, any of that stuff. I just want someone I can spend my life with, and it's the one thing that I've never succeeded at and failed at most. I recall failing at least 25 times in person and a good 75 more times online. I just don't know what's wrong with me Like has been said, I also believe that you have it wrong. You clearly state that you want a woman to fill an empty gap in your life. This is the wrong and selfish way to approach it, and will result in being (not seeming) desperate and ready to accept just about anyone willing to dance with you. There are very few that we are compatible with anyway, so figure out your standards. Basically with the way you are talking, I'd say that you should, if at all possible, forget about dating for a few months at the very least, and focus on things that are important to you and make you way more attractive in ANYONE's eyes: Do sports/work out, socialize with friends, focus on your studies or job. Do things that you find meaningful and things that help you build your confidence. Of course anything could happen in between, but don't seriously even expect to get a date within 6 months or more. Learn how to enjoy life and be at least satisfied with your life by yourself, and there will be people who find this attractive for who you are and have become. Besides, even if you had a big burst of luck and started dating with someone who you would seem to be compatible with, I believe that these issues would rise up sooner or later and affect the relationship anyway. So go fix them. Anyone can work out, do things they find meaningful, socialize more, and learn how to be more interesting. | ||
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