EPTFUCKING RELAX BRO
its good advice
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 82
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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HeavOnEarth
United States7087 Posts
FUCKING RELAX BRO its good advice | ||
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beachbeachy
United States509 Posts
On January 13 2013 05:13 Tolazytobecreative wrote: Is he alone by choice or does he hate himself as much as I do hate myself? I cant take a pic of myself I dont have a camera (is anyone honestly suprised by that?) I can assure you I am not ugly at all though. Pretty sure I look better than average thanks to working out. I also a normal shaped face and clean skin. (though I have been told that I have a certain do-not-approach-me-look on my face) Also I wouldnt post a pic of myself after what I have just posted about myself even if I could. I would never admit any of this outside of the internet. Also did I mention I never took a photo in my life? I asked my girlfriend last night what attracted her to me the most. Low and behold, she told me it was my confidence. It can be sincere or faked, either way it's hands down the number 1 attractive trait a man can have. You don't have to believe in yourself right away - everyone has to go through the motions. What's important is that you start to believe in yourself. Start developing a positive attitude and most importantly of all, fake it till you make it. | ||
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9lazy9
United Kingdom10 Posts
You can have sex on ecstasy with no complications. It does make sex feel better to the point where it's a completely different experience. However, like anything else in this world, if you have sex every time under the influence, you'll lose your concept of sober sex and then it might reach a point where you'll be constantly chasing the dragon. If i do a g or 2 of mdma I can't get a hard on. It makes your dick smaller. Coke, however... | ||
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slytown
Korea (South)1411 Posts
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Luminox
France223 Posts
BRB need some ice cream and dota2 tourneys. | ||
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TheKefka
Croatia11752 Posts
On January 14 2013 02:37 slytown wrote: Last night I got a girl's number (has a boyfriend) and I paid a guy to take a sketch of us talking. Baller. The dude was just hanging out with a large art notebook and some chalk. uh,so you plan to blackmail her with the sketch or something haha? | ||
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Kerotan89
United Kingdom51 Posts
From then on I have had nothing going for me.. I am 23 now, a shy guy, very low self-confidence and very unfit (Never exercise, no sports etc) Worst of all, I am very anti-social. Not that I want to be but I struggle having conversations with people and I am a boring guy with no hobbies but gaming (Even I am getting tired of this..) I have very few friends and no social outlet to meet new ones, I stay at home all the time, never go drinking or all that lot. No chance in the world for me, even though I have begun to realize how lonely I am and dont have the confidence to change that. Anyway thats my story.. posted to some random guys I dont even know. Fuck my life. | ||
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TheKefka
Croatia11752 Posts
On January 14 2013 05:34 Kerotan89 wrote: In my entire life I have 'dated' one girl. That was in last year of primary school and we didnt even really do anything, we only held hands and hugged, in the end it unofficially ended when she started hanging out with some other guy more than myself, and we went to separate high-schools before anything could be said. From then on I have had nothing going for me.. I am 23 now, a shy guy, very low self-confidence and very unfit (Never exercise, no sports etc) Worst of all, I am very anti-social. Not that I want to be but I struggle having conversations with people and I am a boring guy with no hobbies but gaming (Even I am getting tired of this..) I have very few friends and no social outlet to meet new ones, I stay at home all the time, never go drinking or all that lot. No chance in the world for me, even though I have begun to realize how lonely I am and dont have the confidence to change that. Anyway thats my story.. posted to some random guys I dont even know. Fuck my life. Well it sounds like you don't really like yourself the way you are right now.You can't expect to meet girls much less have them notice you if you don't even like yourself.If you want to change something than list 2-3 things that bother you the most and just start from there. Also you say you have few friends but no social outlet to meet new ones.Your "few friends"(doesn't matter how few,even if it's one person) are your social outlet for meeting other people.Just try to take interest in some of their activities or hobbies,see if you like it,chances are you are going to hang out with various new people along the way.The worst that can happen to you is you are going to break your every day pattern. Self-loathing won't help you believe me. | ||
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Emzeeshady
Canada4203 Posts
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Zarak
United States41 Posts
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Kojak21
Canada1104 Posts
On January 14 2013 07:59 Zarak wrote: Confidence IMO is so important. You can be the dorkiest, skinniest shrimp in the world but if your confiedent girls are going to think your cute regardless. there is a huge difference between confidence and being cocky, so dont over due it or ull look like a tool | ||
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t e a C h e r
Canada151 Posts
On January 14 2013 08:00 Kojak21 wrote: there is a huge difference between confidence and being cocky, so dont over due it or ull look like a tool true that, if you too cocky you look like a douche. | ||
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Cheerio
Ukraine3178 Posts
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ne0lith
537 Posts
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
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Jisall
United States2054 Posts
On January 14 2013 14:42 Najda wrote: The biggest problem for me is holding an interesting conversation. I've been on two dates recently with two different girls (not really date, more like a pre-date) I asked out from class but they were both so boring that I didn't even feel like pursuing any further. Anyone have tips regarding this situation? I'll go into more details but I don't know which ones are relevant, so just ask and I shall fulfill. Just focus on her. Ask her questions and have some playful banter off her answers. If you feel like saying it just say it, as long as you say it with a smile you can get away with anything. | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On January 14 2013 14:42 Najda wrote: The biggest problem for me is holding an interesting conversation. I've been on two dates recently with two different girls (not really date, more like a pre-date) I asked out from class but they were both so boring that I didn't even feel like pursuing any further. Anyone have tips regarding this situation? I'll go into more details but I don't know which ones are relevant, so just ask and I shall fulfill. Tips for conversation starter (depends on who you're talking to of course): -Talking about other people in the venue. This is pretty large: weird guy/girl, badly dressed person, asking her if she thinks the waitress is cute, guessing who's a couple and who is friend. -Asking open-ended question: What do you think of xxxxx ? What if xxxx ? Of course pick a question that has no right/wrong answer but which also is not contreversial (no politics/religion etc). Example: If you had 1M dollar what's the first thing you'd do ? (then why, then you and back and forth). -Talking about a recent news you're interested in or about gossip from work/school/celebrities. Aim according to the girl. -Hobby you and the girl share. -Events you and the girl attended to In the end, this is just an opener or a way to break a silence. The important part comes from LISTENING. She will provide you with material to either ask other questions to get more details: -Why did you do that ? -Why are you against that ? or to explore another area: -How did you feel when xxxx ? or to talk about your stuff: -Oh yeah this totaly reminds me of.... It's also pretty important to be playful overall. Make fun of some of her responses (not everything), stay confident in your answers about your life. The essence is to know her and have a conversation that is engaging. A conversation is engaging either by telling/listening to a cool story or by giving your opinion on a subject. Avoid: -Ex-gf, ex-bf -Politics, religions, controversial subjects -Unhappy subjects (war, someone she hates, someone that died) -Work and school (unless its gossip or a very thrilling subject). Things like "How was work yesterday ?" are to be avoided. -Banalities like how many dogs, sisters she has. Finally there is also the option to DO stuff. Like you can bring her skate skiing as a date, then that's probably what you'll talk about. Not every guy is a smooth talker, but you either do interesting stuff or have interesting conversations, the one or the other (or both). Also remember that if she is a little interested, she probably doesn't really know what to talk about either  | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
Avoid: -Unhappy subjects (war, someone she hates, someone that died) -Work and school (unless its gossip or a very thrilling subject). Things like "How was work yesterday ?" are to be avoided. -Banalities like how many dogs, sisters she has. Keep in mind that talking about both negative and positive topics is fine, mostly because we tend to remember things more vividly if they caused a variety of emotions (that's part of the reason why switching between lots of locations is just GREAT during early dates). Highly negative topics (e.g. "My mom died of cancer last year") build lots and lots of rapport and shouldn't be brushed off quickly just to create a lighter mood. Probably one of the strongest guidelines is that no matter the topic it should be about evoking and sharing emotions. That is also where stories come from along the lines of "content means shit, I can talk about zergling rushes and get her all wet" - if you can manage to convey a strong emotion along with your story (which usually involves enjoying your own stories) you're someone people are going to love hearing stories from. Depending on the vibe it can also be completely fine to ask the "horrible classic questions" if you pack them into an ironic package. After a few minutes of talking a "So... do you come here often?" with a smile will most likely make her laugh. Or super serious face, sitting up straight and being like "What are your other hobbies? I like swimming, doing sports and going out with my friends!" is completely fine. Being playful is key here. In general it's a good idea in the beginning to try and stick to statements instead of questions. e.g. "So, what are you studying.. no, wait, let me guess... you look like you're studying chemistry!" - it gives both parties more room to play around and create a good mood. /rant. What exactly is your problem btw? The girls are boring or you feel that you could make them any less boring with good conversational skills? If they're boring, just move on. =P | ||
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
If they arise however, follow above advices don't brush them off (I was advising avoiding them not discarding them in the event they do). | ||
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Jisall
United States2054 Posts
On January 14 2013 15:24 rezoacken wrote: Well yes you can talk about anything if you have the right attitude to it but for someone that has trouble keeping a conversation, I'd avoid those. I've found having good conversational skills comes down to a lack of thought. The phrase "think before you speak" has no place in the dating world. For me a positive attitude, and never talking bad about anyone combined with my lack of censoring myself had led to some great conversations. | ||
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