EPTHaving said that ofcourse it's more classy to leave her be out of respect for said boyfriend. I also have realized that always being a morally integer good guy will make you miss out on things sometimes..
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 743
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
Having said that ofcourse it's more classy to leave her be out of respect for said boyfriend. I also have realized that always being a morally integer good guy will make you miss out on things sometimes.. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8857 Posts
On November 10 2015 12:48 jeeeeohn wrote: Okay, so, if I may poll the TeamLiquid Hivemind about a strange situation that has come up in the past hour: Last thursday I ask out a girl who shares one of my classes. Her response is "Maybe, ask me next time." Tomorrow is next time. Now, tonight she randomly added me on facebook, which required some digging since we don't know each other's last names. Normally I'd be like, "Oh, great." Except, she pretty clearly has a boyfriend. We then preceded to chit chat until I said I needed to get off FB and do homework. So, questions: A) If she has a boyfriend, why lead me on by saying "Maybe next time." B) If she has a boyfriend, why take the time to sleuth for my last name and add me on Facebook? I was pretty clear that I wanted to take her out on a date, not like a buddy-buddy bullshit thing. Shit doesn't make sense to me. I'm just going to ask her out tomorrow anyway, but would like to hear thoughts. i personally have a no bullshit policy on everything, so if she does agree to a date with you then id be pretty upfront about her boyfriend situation. if she has a legitimate reason for being on a date with you then you can decide whether to keep going for her or not, but if she brings up some dodgy answer then tell her to go fk herself. dont waste time on girls who dont have their shit together | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On November 10 2015 13:43 B.I.G. wrote: You don't have to make moral choices for you. If she wants to hook up with someone else, she will. Might as well be you. Having said that ofcourse it's more classy to leave her be out of respect for said boyfriend. I also have realized that always being a morally integer good guy will make you miss out on things sometimes.. Eh. Maybe the guy's an asshole. Or some other issue. Then again, maybe he isn't. Only way to find out is to get her to talk about him! | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
What I would do however if a girl tells you this: On November 10 2015 12:48 jeeeeohn wrote: Her response is "Maybe, ask me next time." "Maybe? Oh you're such a cutie! You now know what? I already told you what I want, so if you want some of this, you're gonna have to come to me - you know where to find me girl  " Is she's in your class. Basically in a teasing fun way tell her if she changes her mind to let you know, but you stated clearly what you want and won't be chasing after her - put the ball entirely in her court, and get on going about your business. This I'd say would work with all girls, but if you do suspect she has a serious boyfriend it's pretty much a must even if it's not your style. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 10 2015 12:48 jeeeeohn wrote:Shit doesn't make sense to me. I'm just going to ask her out tomorrow anyway, but would like to hear thoughts. I went through something similar way back in this thread. The girl vaguely said she had a boyfriend, none of my friends believed her. Then one day she just removes her "is in a relationship" tag from facebook. I ask her out thinking she was just lying about it, she said she has in fact have a boyfriend but shit is going down. One day later she has broke up with him and told me about it. Nothing really came out of that, she then started dating my friend instead .... -.- TL:DR I wouldn't go for it. If she breaks up, maybe then. I would just say keep her as a friend, female friends are really good for meeting new girls. Your passiveness has gotten you mixed results by your own admission. I wouldn't say I have been so passive when it comes to asking people out. If they have not been interested in a date they just don't answer but then I don't continue talking to them either. If they do answer they come up with a time. Btw haven't seen the girl I'm dating in 10 days now, sent like 3 texts inbetween. Yeah regardless what you say, if I have a partner I will not go that long without texting ^^. Whatever floats your boat I guess That's basically the mentality behind Tinder. Well not always. A lot of girls are acting to be hard to get, just asking them to come over won't always work and since they don't want to look like sluts they will just stop responding. It mostly depends on how good looking you are. Dont waste time on girls who dont have their shit together. Yeah, I agree with this. You don't want a girl that would actively cheat on her boyfriend, she will just do it when she is with you. (or higher risk of it happening at least) However if you just want a fuck buddy or something she might be your girl. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18285 Posts
On November 10 2015 13:24 Zambrah wrote: I'd second that, wait til shes single dude.  No. Ask her out or move on with your life. If, after moving on, you are still single and interested if she ever breaks up with her boyfriend, ask her out again. But don't sit around waiting for that moment. I favor moving on. Even if she is unhappy in her relationship, it's not good timing for you. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
I will still look for others to date even though she seems to be interested! | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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jeeeeohn
United States1343 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 11 2015 02:58 WarSame wrote: I thought you had the girl from the party over and she was pretty fat and you came early? Also, you're still a virgin, so if she takes a slow pace then it shouldn't be that bad for you, right? You don't need to be in a rush to lose it. That's not the same girl. That girl was from tinder, this girl was from the party last thursday - I took her number. And I'm perfectly fine with slow pace. However I don't really take kissing that seriously, so kissing a girl wouldn't be super fast pace for the first date for me, especially when we have already made out. It's the second time we meet and this was our first real date so I guess it's a bit fast for her though. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 11 2015 03:24 jeeeeohn wrote: Well, I'm opting for the "ask her out and wait" thing. Missed her after class and sent her a message. Not too stressed about it, as I'm seeing a girl tonight and taking someone else out next week--though these are technically "friend" dates which again makes no sense to me but whatever. What do you mean by "friend" dates? Trying to befriend some girls you never met before? | ||
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Fyodor
Canada971 Posts
On November 07 2015 14:21 Fyodor wrote: I'm trying out lemon's communication starvation tactic. Seems to not be terrible. At the end of the date she asked for another one and texted me right after. Update: Getting put on the backburner now pretty sure. She said she'd "check" if she was available this weekend because she already had plans. Then I give an alternate date and she just repeats "I'll check". Ain't nobody got time for that, who does she think she is. | ||
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arb
Noobville17922 Posts
On November 11 2015 06:28 Fyodor wrote: Update: Getting put on the backburner now pretty sure. She said she'd "check" if she was available this weekend because she already had plans. Then I give an alternate date and she just repeats "I'll check". Ain't nobody got time for that, who does she think she is. move on to the next one dawg | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 11 2015 06:28 Fyodor wrote: Update: Getting put on the backburner now pretty sure. She said she'd "check" if she was available this weekend because she already had plans. Then I give an alternate date and she just repeats "I'll check". Ain't nobody got time for that, who does she think she is. Someone with other horses in play, if a girl's into you she will propose another time. I like to ask "when are you free" or give 2 spread out days "monday or thursday" when you can make it. Think asking specifically only for the weekend is something I never do even with my girlfriend (she works often, has plans with friends+family), so next time make sure one of the dates is not the weekend. And when you ask correctly like that, make it real easy on her and she comes back with anything wishy washy - just don't care, tell her to give you a call once she figures it out because you'd love to take her out and go about your life. Especially when you left on vague terms/she didn't reply they come back to you often even weeks later and you'll date them as usual. Not really sure why this happens, but just does with shitloads of women, I guess they have other guys and it didn't work out or something? | ||
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jeeeeohn
United States1343 Posts
Got stood up tonight. I swear I can't find one sane, single person in this fucking city. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 11 2015 08:54 jeeeeohn wrote: So, chick from class wants to just be friends, which is fine because she might be single later or might have single friends, so whatever. Please, don't man. If you keep hanging out with her, just accept she's your friend, don't be that weazel that's her friend and is nice to her just because she can be single later. If you want her, tell her to let you know if she changes her mind, and if you are okay with being her friend and losing any chance whatsoever with her then be just that - her friend. Female friends are awesome | ||
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GreenHorizons
United States23930 Posts
On November 11 2015 08:54 jeeeeohn wrote: So, chick from class wants to just be friends, which is fine because she might be single later or might have single friends, so whatever. Got stood up tonight. I swear I can't find one sane, single person in this fucking city. You forgot "attractive" + Show Spoiler + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTULoJlD_V4 | ||
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jeeeeohn
United States1343 Posts
On November 11 2015 09:17 GreenHorizons wrote: You forgot "attractive" + Show Spoiler + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTULoJlD_V4 Eh, I'll take "average" at this point. lol Edit: One of my favorite bits, always relateable. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On November 11 2015 09:16 LemOn wrote: Please, don't man. If you keep hanging out with her, just accept she's your friend, don't be that weazel that's her friend and is nice to her just because she can be single later. If you want her, tell her to let you know if she changes her mind, and if you are okay with being her friend and losing any chance whatsoever with her then be just that - her friend. Female friends are awesome Yeah I have to agree with this. It's like a rat-vulture approach. Not the way of the true manly man. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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