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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
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Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On October 22 2015 03:59 Sickel1 wrote:
we done it boys.
this morning we kissed and she put my hand on her breast, and we're going to the museum together next monday. we didn't have to chau sara my spaghetti. shit's not official yet but I imagine that kissing her on the lips a couple of time and her saying "your presence makes me happy" that I can assume that our orbitals are hybridizing and we're about to bond.
please let me know if this is mistaken as i am not a smart man.
I certainly hope that isn't an exact quote, otherwise I fear the cyborgs are already making their move.
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On October 23 2015 11:03 killa_robot wrote:Show nested quote +On October 22 2015 03:59 Sickel1 wrote:
we done it boys.
this morning we kissed and she put my hand on her breast, and we're going to the museum together next monday. we didn't have to chau sara my spaghetti. shit's not official yet but I imagine that kissing her on the lips a couple of time and her saying "your presence makes me happy" that I can assume that our orbitals are hybridizing and we're about to bond.
please let me know if this is mistaken as i am not a smart man. I certainly hope that isn't an exact quote, otherwise I fear the cyborgs are already making their move.
you may have noticed that my vocabulary is a bit strange. if you haven't, you're the only cyborg around here buster. it's not the exact quote but it's similar because I said "you seem really happy, what's up?' b/c I was being a cheeky lil cunt since i had kissed her just before saying that.
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I asked a girl out today and she said yes. I asked her out almost a year ago and she said no.
When she said no she added that she had just met someone and wanted to see where it went first before dating around. I let her know I was impressed at her mindset and wished her well.
Today I had posted on facebook a picture of me studying while having a beer. Shortly after she posts a picture of her studying with a glass of wine. That's the best way someone ever got my attention to be honest. Creative and slick af. Message her a bit and then ask her out again. Neither of us were students when we first met either so there's that dimension as well.
I'm pretty stoked to be honest. She's pretty geeky, seen her play Resident Evil 4 and likes games in general. Excellent taste right there.
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On October 23 2015 05:18 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On October 23 2015 04:26 Copymizer wrote:Am i the only 1 who likes more to find foreign girls and exchange students on tinder in your own city? Currently i'm looking to get matched up with a some of the spanish girls and south american exchange students because i'm taking spanish classes so that would help me greatly  I think people just get attracted exotic people. I went to a school that was mostly black and Indian, now I can't get enough of white/Asian girls. My Indian friends I go with on trips, the girls that grew up in almost all-white areas find them way more attractive than anyone in our hometown tends to. Spanish girls are amazing in general though. Chile in particular is a beautiful country with beautiful men and beautiful women.
Thanks bro.
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On October 23 2015 04:50 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Still can't believe how gorgeous she is, absolutely flawless skin, around 5'8" (I'm 5'9"), long brown hair, her body type is near perfect. I must not let my insecurity get the better of me!
Wait a minute, a european using feet and inches to indicate height?! How many lb does she weigh buddy-o? Back to the colonies with you you closet yank! The gig is up!
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On October 23 2015 13:45 B.I.G. wrote:
Wait a minute, a european using feet and inches to indicate height?! How many lb does she weigh buddy-o? Back to the colonies with you you closet yank! The gig is up!
Haha. I'm used to people not knowing how tall someone is when I use the superior metric. And I'm not sure how much she weighs 
Oh boy 
Lemon is not pleased?
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On October 23 2015 15:27 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On October 23 2015 13:45 B.I.G. wrote:
Wait a minute, a european using feet and inches to indicate height?! How many lb does she weigh buddy-o? Back to the colonies with you you closet yank! The gig is up! Haha. I'm used to people not knowing how tall someone is when I use the superior metric. And I'm not sure how much she weighs
Good question to ask on the next date.
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Gotta figure out how to ask this girl out when she's in another country for another couple of months... :/
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On October 23 2015 15:27 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On October 23 2015 13:45 B.I.G. wrote:
Wait a minute, a european using feet and inches to indicate height?! How many lb does she weigh buddy-o? Back to the colonies with you you closet yank! The gig is up! Haha. I'm used to people not knowing how tall someone is when I use the superior metric. And I'm not sure how much she weighs Lemon is not pleased?
Well you'll need to learn through your mistakes :p
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On October 23 2015 17:55 LemOn wrote:
Well you'll need to learn through your mistakes :p
Well do share.
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On October 23 2015 23:58 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On October 23 2015 17:55 LemOn wrote:
Well you'll need to learn through your mistakes :p Well do share.
I know what lemon is thinking, and thought something similar. But there's no reason to think that anything is necessarily wrong. It's like forgetting to build probes for a few seconds. Usually won't matter, but you're fucked if 6 lings come knocking at your pylon in the next 30 seconds. Carry on, dear mascot virgin.
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Yeah pretty much. You asked a girl out and went on real life date, which is by far the thing that matters the most. We can point out things you can do better, but the main thing now is that you keep asking girls out 
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I know what lemon is thinking, and thought something similar. But there's no reason to think that anything is necessarily wrong. It's like forgetting to build probes for a few seconds. Usually won't matter, but you're fucked if 6 lings come knocking at your pylon in the next 30 seconds. Carry on, dear mascot virgin.
On October 24 2015 00:30 LemOn wrote:Yeah pretty much. You asked a girl out and went on real life date, which is by far the thing that matters the most. We can point out things you can do better, but the main thing now is that you keep asking girls out
Not sure what you guys are trying to say, do you think it's over already or what? Since this is a dating advice thread, I don't see the point of pointing out that something is wrong and being smug about it.
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No we mean it, you're taking a girl out and that's great!
But since you asked, and you were even specifically told by her friend what she likes this is what you can do better:
1) Mindset - you should approach with the mindset that either she attracts you or doesn't. Perfect body type doesn't mean at all she's a good dating material - and you should focus on that instead. Besides, mutual reciprocated physical attraction is light years more important than her actual appearance. This is why tinder is a waste of time. First date I'd say should be about asking her questions, her doing 70-80% of the talking will be ideal and the first thing you should think about is her personality, answers to your questions, and whether she is good/compatible for you or not, just takes loads of pressure off you and you can focus on what's important - focus on her actual person.
2) I strongly recommend not asking a girl out at the end of the date. Have a great time, move forward physically compared to last time, walk away without mentioning any future dates. Give her the perfect date, and give her the space to think and wonder about you.
3) When you do ask her out, don't ask if she wants to see you. Her friend already told you that she likes direct guys! Just tell her "I'd love to see you, because *whatever the main reason is* when are you free". Ideally wait until she's contacted you after your date, or just use the phone to call her if she doesn't. Take that risk of her saying no, be direct!
4) There is absolutely no reason to try to talk through text more. Or text at all for that matter unless she texts first! Just use the phone to set up the date, ideally when she contacts you after the date.
If there are things you want to tell her/ask it's just so much better to remember them, even write them down and then ask/tell them to her in person, see how she reacts, her emotion, body language... it will make you think of follow up questions more as well. If anything texting will make a girl want you less, you can't really gain much. I recommend using the phone to set dates, and when you're not with her focusing on your passions in life instead. Even in a serious relationship - I really doubt more texting than things like "This movie has reminded me of you, can't see to kiss your sexy lips" where you just give and don't expect any reply back are all that's needed unless you are in a LDR.
But Acrofales has a good point, if the mutual attraction is really high you can do a lot things that would put most women off a bit, act in fearful insecure way and at first it won't matter if the chemistry is really strong. And again, actually taking girls out and taking constant action is the most important thing and all else is secondary, so well done - I didn't want to give you these pointers because you tend to overthink and it seems to stop you from taking action!
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If you give her the perfect date she is going to be asking you about a second date before the first is over, Lemon. Geeze.
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Not all girls, no! Just because she doesn't ask during it doesn't mean it wasn't the best date she's ever had. A fun thing to do is walk her to bus/train/her house, give her a quick passionate kiss and whisper "you're awesome" in her ear during walking away while her eyes are still closed without giving her a chance to reply/ ask about another date
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On October 24 2015 02:45 LemOn wrote:Not all girls, no! Just because she doesn't ask during it doesn't mean it wasn't the best date she's ever had. A fun thing to do is walk her to bus/train/her house, give her a quick passionate kiss and whisper "you're awesome" in her ear during walking away while her eyes are still closed without giving her a chance to reply/ ask about another date
On the first? Seems a bit too forward.
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To make things easier in the future I'm going to call the girl I recently dated who is now my friend "Anna" and my current date "Julia" (the names are fictional).
Thanks for clearing it up. I guess I agree with most things, especially with the not asking her out directly after the date. Why I would like to talk a lot through text is because I feel like the 'dating process' would go awfully slowly otherwise, but maybe it is for the best, she doesn't seem super eager to talk over text so far.
I sent Julia a text this morning saying that I had a fun time seeing her and asked if she had any suggestion for the second date or if I should come up with something. Kind of regret saying the last thing since it didn't really exude confidence and I don't really see the point of making her pick the date either. She hasn't answered it and it was 12 hours ago, not sure what to make of it. Either she is just super slow at answering or she gave me the wrong number or she just doesn't give a fuck anymore.
Anna called me yesterday and started asking all sorts of questions about the date. For example she asked me how I thought it went, I responded with "i guess it went okay" and she immediately said something like "just okay? Julia said it went great!" and she talked about how Julia was afraid she talked to much. So I feel like it leans towards being super slow at answering. Time will tell though.
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On October 24 2015 03:43 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On October 24 2015 02:45 LemOn wrote:Not all girls, no! Just because she doesn't ask during it doesn't mean it wasn't the best date she's ever had. A fun thing to do is walk her to bus/train/her house, give her a quick passionate kiss and whisper "you're awesome" in her ear during walking away while her eyes are still closed without giving her a chance to reply/ ask about another date On the first? Seems a bit too forward.
If you make out? Yeah! Although just walking away mid-kiss is better on the first one when you say goodbye
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EPT
