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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-15 08:58:51
October 15 2015 08:57 GMT
#14341
On October 15 2015 17:47 Emon_ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 15 2015 10:11 arb wrote:
On October 15 2015 10:07 Poondazzle wrote:
I think dating a single parent is pretty relative. It gets far more acceptable as you get older. I just turned 26 and she's 24. I certainly wasn't thinking about having kids for at least another half a decade. There's so much I still want to accomplish before needing to be stuck in one place.

Honestly, if I had known before hand, I know I wouldn't have agreed to a first date. Thinking about it is quite fascinating, however. She seems to have her shit together, which is more than I can say for most women near my age (or if they do, they act pretentious as hell). I mean, she kind of has to right?

That said, I decided to try to keep an open mind and see how it goes. It's not like I'm hard committing or anything so I don't feel like I have anything to lose. Told her that that's how I feel about it and she said she doesn't plan on rushing into anything either so yeah. She declined my original second date offer and instead offered to hang out at her place this weekend, her son will be at her mother's place.

in other words shes wanting that deeeeek.

Subtle bro, real subtle.

It's true, single moms don't have time for bullshit, that's why I said they make great fuck buddies, and most of the time they won't mind either, all you have to be is very bluntly open and upfront about what you want. With other girls it'll lead to better relationships, and more success if you just put your raw self out there, but with single moms you pretty much have a moral obligation to do that.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
October 15 2015 09:03 GMT
#14342
On October 15 2015 17:47 Emon_ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 15 2015 10:11 arb wrote:
On October 15 2015 10:07 Poondazzle wrote:
I think dating a single parent is pretty relative. It gets far more acceptable as you get older. I just turned 26 and she's 24. I certainly wasn't thinking about having kids for at least another half a decade. There's so much I still want to accomplish before needing to be stuck in one place.

Honestly, if I had known before hand, I know I wouldn't have agreed to a first date. Thinking about it is quite fascinating, however. She seems to have her shit together, which is more than I can say for most women near my age (or if they do, they act pretentious as hell). I mean, she kind of has to right?

That said, I decided to try to keep an open mind and see how it goes. It's not like I'm hard committing or anything so I don't feel like I have anything to lose. Told her that that's how I feel about it and she said she doesn't plan on rushing into anything either so yeah. She declined my original second date offer and instead offered to hang out at her place this weekend, her son will be at her mother's place.

in other words shes wanting that deeeeek.

Subtle bro, real subtle.
Show nested quote +
On October 15 2015 16:54 bloodwhore~ wrote:
On October 15 2015 07:00 arb wrote:
truthfully if you give up on any kind of girl you like because she has a kid youre a pretty bad person tbh.
the main question you need to ask here is how involved if at all her baby daddy is in her/the childs life

too much involvement with her baby daddy is where your abort, because that is just a shit storm waiting to happen


If you're asking for dating advice on a teamliquid forum then you're definitely NOT up for the task of being a father in my opinion.

Even if you were, you're not a bad person just because you don't want to be the kids father.

Agreed. Love yourself some and think long and hard if you really want to be a part of this. Single moms have trouble dating just because so many guys press the abort button as soon as children are involved. 26 is young to be raising someone else's child. Come back when you're 32 and you'll still find 24 single moms that want to date you. Use this time to find a single girl that you love and want to have a family of your own with

Why so judgmental, both of you?
You don't want family for at least 5 years into the future. You are single.
You go out on one date with a single mom
Who says anything about replacing the father even ever being in a committed relationship?
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
October 15 2015 09:42 GMT
#14343
On October 15 2015 18:03 LemOn wrote:
Why so judgmental, both of you?
You don't want family for at least 5 years into the future. You are single.
You go out on one date with a single mom
Who says anything about replacing the father even ever being in a committed relationship?

Assuming she wants a relationship that will last he will become a father figure to the kid whether he wants to or not. Sure a fuckbuddy who happens to be a single mom isn't all that bad though, not that I would want it for myself.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-15 11:45:21
October 15 2015 11:45 GMT
#14344
And why would you assume that?
I mean going on dates with someone doesn't mean at all you will end up in a committed relationship, or that that's what they want either

Dating a single mom for a while is a great experience.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
October 15 2015 14:48 GMT
#14345
I just got that impression from the way he wrote. I assume single moms would want to strive for financial security, a partner etc as well.

Have you dated one or?
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
October 15 2015 15:39 GMT
#14346
Yeah! And she wasn't looking for that at all, just looking to have some fun, take a break from her routine. She got so excited when I asked her out she was like "should I wear make up? Where do we meet? Where do we go?..." Then when we parted ways there were no hard feelings, it was just a couple dates but definitely a good experience, especially sexually. I'm not even sure why you'd assume that a single mum wants that right off the bat when they just got burned and separated, if anything I'd expect the opposite. Really the best way to approach dating is to not assume at all, focus on the present moment, state what you want, be genuine and get to know people without pre-judging with an open mind.


Like right now you could be dating multiple women and having great fun and sex, with single moms included, while keeping an open mind and heart so you don't miss the very compatible ones slip away.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45078 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-15 16:03:35
October 15 2015 16:01 GMT
#14347
On October 15 2015 17:57 LemOn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 15 2015 17:47 Emon_ wrote:
On October 15 2015 10:11 arb wrote:
On October 15 2015 10:07 Poondazzle wrote:
I think dating a single parent is pretty relative. It gets far more acceptable as you get older. I just turned 26 and she's 24. I certainly wasn't thinking about having kids for at least another half a decade. There's so much I still want to accomplish before needing to be stuck in one place.

Honestly, if I had known before hand, I know I wouldn't have agreed to a first date. Thinking about it is quite fascinating, however. She seems to have her shit together, which is more than I can say for most women near my age (or if they do, they act pretentious as hell). I mean, she kind of has to right?

That said, I decided to try to keep an open mind and see how it goes. It's not like I'm hard committing or anything so I don't feel like I have anything to lose. Told her that that's how I feel about it and she said she doesn't plan on rushing into anything either so yeah. She declined my original second date offer and instead offered to hang out at her place this weekend, her son will be at her mother's place.

in other words shes wanting that deeeeek.

Subtle bro, real subtle.

It's true, single moms don't have time for bullshit, that's why I said they make great fuck buddies, and most of the time they won't mind either, all you have to be is very bluntly open and upfront about what you want. With other girls it'll lead to better relationships, and more success if you just put your raw self out there, but with single moms you pretty much have a moral obligation to do that.


I don't have any experience with being intimate with single moms, but I feel that what you're saying is counterintuitive to their priorities (assuming their priority is raising their children). I feel like a single mom would have less time to fuck around and would only waste time on a guy if it isn't taking time away from their kid. Furthermore, the idea that a guy might be good enough to stick around (or at least be temporarily around their kids) could be very appealing, and so they might want to streamline the potential mates in favor of possible fatherly figures, rather than wasting time with flaky, superficial guys. Because they're thinking of their children too.

On October 15 2015 23:48 bloodwhore~ wrote:
I just got that impression from the way he wrote. I assume single moms would want to strive for financial security, a partner etc as well.

Have you dated one or?


That was my reaction too. They don't have time for bullshit and games anymore, because they have children to focus on and additional mouths to feed.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
October 15 2015 17:11 GMT
#14348
On October 16 2015 00:39 LemOn wrote: I'm not even sure why you'd assume that a single mum wants that right off the bat when they just got burned and separated, if anything I'd expect the opposite.

Really the best way to approach dating is to not assume at all, focus on the present moment, state what you want, be genuine and get to know people without pre-judging with an open mind.


Well I don't know if she recently got separated, I don't remember him saying that.

If I found out I dated a single mom I'd immediately ask her where she wanted to go with us dating. Would be awful to lead someone on, especially if it was a single mother in my opinion.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Acrofales
Profile Joined August 2010
Spain18129 Posts
October 15 2015 19:27 GMT
#14349
So many white knights in this thread... how about you let single moms worry about what they want instead of making all these assumptions.
Dingodile
Profile Joined December 2011
4137 Posts
October 15 2015 19:38 GMT
#14350
I highly doubt single moms want that her new lover have to care like "real father".
Grubby | ToD | Moon | Lyn | Sky
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
October 15 2015 20:01 GMT
#14351
On October 16 2015 04:27 Acrofales wrote:
So many white knights in this thread... how about you let single moms worry about what they want instead of making all these assumptions.

Don't you think we do? I would personally not want to date a girl who I knew was a single mom unless I knew she only wanted to fuck, I really don't think that makes you a white knight, it makes you a decent human being.


I highly doubt single moms want that her new lover have to care like "real father".

Not if he is just her fuck buddy obviously, however nobody has claimed that either.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-15 21:08:09
October 15 2015 20:55 GMT
#14352
On October 16 2015 05:01 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 16 2015 04:27 Acrofales wrote:
So many white knights in this thread... how about you let single moms worry about what they want instead of making all these assumptions.

Don't you think we do? I would personally not want to date a girl who I knew was a single mom unless I knew she only wanted to fuck, I really don't think that makes you a white knight, it makes you a decent human being.


Show nested quote +
I highly doubt single moms want that her new lover have to care like "real father".

Not if he is just her fuck buddy obviously, however nobody has claimed that either.

Fuck buddy, open relationship, whatever. You just never know what happens, especially when you are single, in my eyes all girls I date I'm in an open relationship with at first until get to know them and there's no obligation to commit. That doesn't mean you will stay with them forever, that you have to be their father/therapist, or that you won't have sex with other women. And if you decide to commit to one of them, child or not - great. If you want to have many open relationships, also good. As long as you are honest with yourself and towards other people there's no reason to stop yourself from having great experiences just because your assumptions and projecting. Put yourself and what you genuinely want out there, and let them decide if they want it or not.

EDIT: Actually it's basically what you said, no disagreement there. If your personal preference is a strict fuck buddy (not rly sure what that is, there's always some sort of a relationship involved - I guess that's if there's low attraction and you just mechanically fuck anyways?) you just express that when things start escalating on a date, and she will either take it or not.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45078 Posts
October 15 2015 22:40 GMT
#14353
On October 16 2015 04:27 Acrofales wrote:
So many white knights in this thread... how about you let single moms worry about what they want instead of making all these assumptions.


When someone makes the unjustified, sweeping generalization that all single moms love to superficially screw around because they're single moms, I think it's completely appropriate if someone disagrees for reasons. Dismissing a difference of opinion with "lol white knight" is a poor rebuttal.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
October 15 2015 22:51 GMT
#14354
And who said that? All we said is that you should say what you want without pre-assumptions and let them decide...
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45078 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-15 23:34:21
October 15 2015 23:30 GMT
#14355
On October 16 2015 07:51 LemOn wrote:
And who said that? All we said is that you should say what you want without pre-assumptions and let them decide...


Seriously?

B.I.G. said: "single mother whose relationship or marriage is completely in shambles and hasnt been laid in a long time..
You do the math man"

And then you said: "single moms don't have time for bullshit, that's why I said they make great fuck buddies, and most of the time they won't mind either"

These are two provocative opinions about single moms (especially your generalization), and are obviously opinions which can be disagreed with. Disagreeing with them shouldn't be dismissed because "lol white knighting". I'd much rather have a conversation regarding our opinions/ generalizations.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
obesechicken13
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States10467 Posts
October 16 2015 00:21 GMT
#14356
Lol fuck civil discourse. White Knight Strawhat amirite?
I think in our modern age technology has evolved to become more addictive. The things that don't give us pleasure aren't used as much. Work was never meant to be fun, but doing it makes us happier in the long run.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-10-16 01:06:29
October 16 2015 00:36 GMT
#14357
Plus, accusing others of white knighting in an online discussion is just about the most "I'm a piece of shit" statement possible. People aren't trying to get laid by defending women. They are disagreeing with you because they have different morals - read: some morals.

EDIT: Directed at Acrofales, not Lemon.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
[Phantom]
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Mexico2170 Posts
October 16 2015 00:47 GMT
#14358
I just want to point out that Lemon wasn't the one who brought up the white knight thing.

Altough I must say that I agree with DPB that not because Lemon had an experience with a single mom who just wanted to fuck that means every single mom is looking for that, or would even accept or make a good fuck buddy.
WriterTeamLiquid Staff writer since 2014 @Mortal_Phantom
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45078 Posts
October 16 2015 00:54 GMT
#14359
Yeah, I know Acrofales made the White Knight argument; I replied to him first
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
October 16 2015 03:26 GMT
#14360
On October 16 2015 08:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 16 2015 07:51 LemOn wrote:
And who said that? All we said is that you should say what you want without pre-assumptions and let them decide...


Seriously?

B.I.G. said: "single mother whose relationship or marriage is completely in shambles and hasnt been laid in a long time..
You do the math man"

And then you said: "single moms don't have time for bullshit, that's why I said they make great fuck buddies, and most of the time they won't mind either"

These are two provocative opinions about single moms (especially your generalization), and are obviously opinions which can be disagreed with. Disagreeing with them shouldn't be dismissed because "lol white knighting". I'd much rather have a conversation regarding our opinions/ generalizations.

Waaaaait a minute there buddy I said that in relation to the single mom that asked our TLer to come to her place instead of a date outside. By no means do I want to imply that's all single moms are looking for.
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