We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
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On October 15 2015 03:59 LemOn wrote: So would you be okay with being just friends and her hooking up with other guys?
?... There are no other guys involved with her. If there were, I would be much more worried; but with the amount of time I spend talking to her I feel p confident in saying that I'm safe in that regard. If it turned out that she wasn't into me, ofc I wouldn't see a problem with her hooking up with other people.
On October 15 2015 03:59 LemOn wrote: So would you be okay with being just friends and her hooking up with other guys?
?... There are no other guys involved with her. If there were, I would be much more worried; but with the amount of time I spend talking to her I feel p confident in saying that I'm safe in that regard. If it turned out that she wasn't into me, ofc I wouldn't see a problem with her hooking up with other people.
I mean down the line, you have to ask yourself that question before you consider your options.
I think option 3 is great as long as you are willing to accept the very large chance of just being her friend (and being okay with her hooking up with other men which will happen eventually)
On October 15 2015 03:59 LemOn wrote: So would you be okay with being just friends and her hooking up with other guys?
?... There are no other guys involved with her. If there were, I would be much more worried; but with the amount of time I spend talking to her I feel p confident in saying that I'm safe in that regard. If it turned out that she wasn't into me, ofc I wouldn't see a problem with her hooking up with other people.
I mean down the line, you have to ask yourself that question before you consider your options.
I think option 3 is great as long as you are willing to accept the very large chance of just being her friend (and being okay with her hooking up with other men which will happen eventually)
I think it's safe to say that's always a risk in going after a girl, accepting that is something most people should probably do, in order to most securely contain the pasta.
See it shouldn't be a risk at all! Only then you can hang out without expressing directly your intentions. If she falls for you - great. If you remain friends - also great!
If you don't see it that way, then make a move, ask her out, go for a kiss, yada yada - make your intentions clear to her that you are attracted to her not as a friend but because she's gorgeous, and friendship isn't what you want!
On October 15 2015 03:25 Sickel1 wrote: Well, we are both into domination/submission and the sides are as you suspected, so I don't think the hand thing is much of an issue?
You kiss her hand when she says to and give her a hug when she wants. She's into being dominating and you're ok with that. As things are now.. That plastic around the spaghetti in your pocket ain't going nowhere unless she feels like spaghetti. You could try and turn things around, go for a more even relationship. But she likes it this way and she's jungling camps while you're struggling top and need a gank. Or you're a Braun to her Tristana you guys go great together and if you do it well you can win team-fights but it won't go beyond summoners rift
On October 15 2015 03:52 arb wrote: but what happened to poondazzle
probably the thing she had to tell him was so dazzling that the spaghetti popped out of the pocket
Too much spaghetti.
She finally responded at like 1am this morning. Turns out she's separated. Thought about it for a second and it didn't really faze me so whatever. We text for a bit more and she drops another bomb...turns out she has a son.
On October 15 2015 03:52 arb wrote: but what happened to poondazzle
probably the thing she had to tell him was so dazzling that the spaghetti popped out of the pocket
Too much spaghetti.
She finally responded at like 1am this morning. Turns out she's separated. Thought about it for a second and it didn't really faze me so whatever. We text for a bit more and she drops another bomb...turns out she has a son.
On October 15 2015 06:25 Poondazzle wrote: She finally responded at like 1am this morning. Turns out she's separated. Thought about it for a second and it didn't really faze me so whatever. We text for a bit more and she drops another bomb...turns out she has a son.
On October 15 2015 06:25 Poondazzle wrote: She finally responded at like 1am this morning. Turns out she's separated. Thought about it for a second and it didn't really faze me so whatever. We text for a bit more and she drops another bomb...turns out she has a son.
On October 15 2015 06:25 Poondazzle wrote: She finally responded at like 1am this morning. Turns out she's separated. Thought about it for a second and it didn't really faze me so whatever. We text for a bit more and she drops another bomb...turns out she has a son.
On October 15 2015 03:52 arb wrote: but what happened to poondazzle
probably the thing she had to tell him was so dazzling that the spaghetti popped out of the pocket
Too much spaghetti.
She finally responded at like 1am this morning. Turns out she's separated. Thought about it for a second and it didn't really faze me so whatever. We text for a bit more and she drops another bomb...turns out she has a son.
truthfully if you give up on any kind of girl you like because she has a kid youre a pretty bad person tbh. the main question you need to ask here is how involved if at all her baby daddy is in her/the childs life
too much involvement with her baby daddy is where your abort, because that is just a shit storm waiting to happen
On October 15 2015 03:52 arb wrote: but what happened to poondazzle
probably the thing she had to tell him was so dazzling that the spaghetti popped out of the pocket
Too much spaghetti.
She finally responded at like 1am this morning. Turns out she's separated. Thought about it for a second and it didn't really faze me so whatever. We text for a bit more and she drops another bomb...turns out she has a son.
truthfully if you give up on any kind of girl you like because she has a kid youre a pretty bad person tbh. the main question you need to ask here is how involved if at all her baby daddy is in her/the childs life
too much involvement with her baby daddy is where your abort, because that is just a shit storm waiting to happen
I disagree. Depending on your age, level of autonomy and independence, financial situation, and philosophy regarding family, there are many reasons why a person might want to be "selfish" and not start a relationship with someone who already has a family. Especially if you don't want kids or just aren't ready yet.
On October 15 2015 03:25 Sickel1 wrote: Well, we are both into domination/submission and the sides are as you suspected, so I don't think the hand thing is much of an issue?
You kiss her hand when she says to and give her a hug when she wants. She's into being dominating and you're ok with that. As things are now.. That plastic around the spaghetti in your pocket ain't going nowhere unless she feels like spaghetti. You could try and turn things around, go for a more even relationship. But she likes it this way and she's jungling camps while you're struggling top and need a gank. Or you're a Braun to her Tristana you guys go great together and if you do it well you can win team-fights but it won't go beyond summoners rift
Gotta say, I have no idea what you're trying to say.
On October 15 2015 03:52 arb wrote: but what happened to poondazzle
probably the thing she had to tell him was so dazzling that the spaghetti popped out of the pocket
Too much spaghetti.
She finally responded at like 1am this morning. Turns out she's separated. Thought about it for a second and it didn't really faze me so whatever. We text for a bit more and she drops another bomb...turns out she has a son.
truthfully if you give up on any kind of girl you like because she has a kid youre a pretty bad person tbh. the main question you need to ask here is how involved if at all her baby daddy is in her/the childs life
too much involvement with her baby daddy is where your abort, because that is just a shit storm waiting to happen
What a load of crap. Not wanting a relationship with someone who has a kid makes you a bad person?
Youre not allowed to consider if you want/are ready to deal with the huge implications that kid brings along with it?
I think dating a single parent is pretty relative. It gets far more acceptable as you get older. I just turned 26 and she's 24. I certainly wasn't thinking about having kids for at least another half a decade. There's so much I still want to accomplish before needing to be stuck in one place.
Honestly, if I had known before hand, I know I wouldn't have agreed to a first date. Thinking about it is quite fascinating, however. She seems to have her shit together, which is more than I can say for most women near my age (or if they do, they act pretentious as hell). I mean, she kind of has to right?
That said, I decided to try to keep an open mind and see how it goes. It's not like I'm hard committing or anything so I don't feel like I have anything to lose. Told her that that's how I feel about it and she said she doesn't plan on rushing into anything either so yeah. She declined my original second date offer and instead offered to hang out at her place this weekend, her son will be at her mother's place.
On October 15 2015 10:07 Poondazzle wrote: I think dating a single parent is pretty relative. It gets far more acceptable as you get older. I just turned 26 and she's 24. I certainly wasn't thinking about having kids for at least another half a decade. There's so much I still want to accomplish before needing to be stuck in one place.
Honestly, if I had known before hand, I know I wouldn't have agreed to a first date. Thinking about it is quite fascinating, however. She seems to have her shit together, which is more than I can say for most women near my age (or if they do, they act pretentious as hell). I mean, she kind of has to right?
That said, I decided to try to keep an open mind and see how it goes. It's not like I'm hard committing or anything so I don't feel like I have anything to lose. Told her that that's how I feel about it and she said she doesn't plan on rushing into anything either so yeah. She declined my original second date offer and instead offered to hang out at her place this weekend, her son will be at her mother's place.
On October 14 2015 15:27 B.I.G. wrote: Regardless of obstacles GTR, don't you think it would be an interesting experience to have had during your stay in Korea? Not saying you should force it but I don't see why you would try to avoid it.
@evilfatsh1t One of the things I noticed in China is that people due to pressure from family and possibly early pregnancies get married to the first person they really date at a young age (like early 20's), then figure out later there's more to it than that and start having sex with other people. I swear that like 90% of married Chinese people I know is almost making a sport out of cheating as much as possible. Is it similar in Korea?
not at all. koreas idolisation of american culture has led them to become a little too eager to have sex early. this, coupled with american porn and lack of sex education in korea, has led to a lot of high school kids having unprotected sex with each other. some kids might get addicted to the sex and keep it going throughout uni by meeting girls at clubs, then during marriage by meeting girls at 'rooms'. the problem with korea is getting laid is literally as easy as buying groceries. the availability, addiction and lack of self control leads some people to cheat even in marriage, but its no where near as severe as what you say about china. koreans generally never marry the first person they meet, they dont "find out" about sex later, and quite frankly theyre not in much rush to get married. koreans are too aware of the hardships of marriage, monogamy, leading a financially stable life into your 30s with a family etc. its one of the main reasons why korea has such a low birthrate now
Yeah I think I agree with your points. IgnE's probably wrong about the marriage or late sex in life.
It's so easy to take anything you hear as truth if you're too tired to contradict it or reading too quickly without thinking about it. Which is why PUA is so dangerous.
On October 15 2015 07:00 arb wrote: truthfully if you give up on any kind of girl you like because she has a kid youre a pretty bad person tbh. the main question you need to ask here is how involved if at all her baby daddy is in her/the childs life
too much involvement with her baby daddy is where your abort, because that is just a shit storm waiting to happen
If you're asking for dating advice on a teamliquid forum then you're definitely NOT up for the task of being a father in my opinion.
Even if you were, you're not a bad person just because you don't want to be the kids father.
On October 15 2015 10:07 Poondazzle wrote: I think dating a single parent is pretty relative. It gets far more acceptable as you get older. I just turned 26 and she's 24. I certainly wasn't thinking about having kids for at least another half a decade. There's so much I still want to accomplish before needing to be stuck in one place.
Honestly, if I had known before hand, I know I wouldn't have agreed to a first date. Thinking about it is quite fascinating, however. She seems to have her shit together, which is more than I can say for most women near my age (or if they do, they act pretentious as hell). I mean, she kind of has to right?
That said, I decided to try to keep an open mind and see how it goes. It's not like I'm hard committing or anything so I don't feel like I have anything to lose. Told her that that's how I feel about it and she said she doesn't plan on rushing into anything either so yeah. She declined my original second date offer and instead offered to hang out at her place this weekend, her son will be at her mother's place.
On October 15 2015 07:00 arb wrote: truthfully if you give up on any kind of girl you like because she has a kid youre a pretty bad person tbh. the main question you need to ask here is how involved if at all her baby daddy is in her/the childs life
too much involvement with her baby daddy is where your abort, because that is just a shit storm waiting to happen
If you're asking for dating advice on a teamliquid forum then you're definitely NOT up for the task of being a father in my opinion.
Even if you were, you're not a bad person just because you don't want to be the kids father.
Agreed. Love yourself some and think long and hard if you really want to be a part of this. Single moms have trouble dating just because so many guys press the abort button as soon as children are involved. 26 is young to be raising someone else's child. Come back when you're 32 and you'll still find 24 single moms that want to date you. Use this time to find a single girl that you love and want to have a family of your own with
EPT
you guys go great together and if you do it well you can win team-fights but it won't go beyond summoners rift
