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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On October 13 2015 03:20 [Phantom] wrote:Show nested quote +On October 12 2015 21:03 LemOn wrote:On October 12 2015 13:48 [Phantom] wrote:So I met a girl, we hung out once and two days later, this girl says to me in whatsapp something like: Tuesday: Girl:Hey! lets go out this thursday Me:Sure, What do you want to do?  What are you doing man, this is awful. This is how it goes Girl:Hey! lets go out this thursday
Me: Sure, meet me 6pm at corner of street A and B, see you there! P.S. make sure you're hungry.And you take her to your favorite restaurant. Fin. On October 12 2015 13:48 [Phantom] wrote:
This saturday in the night she finally answers with "hi [Phantom]!" and in my mind I'm like "....really?" So I was kind of mad for that and also busy, so I don't answer and leave it in seen. Today I say hi to her and...she leaves me in seen rofl.
Well, that died pretty quickly before it even started! Her: "hi [Phantom]!"
You: "Oh hey you, I'd love to take you out, is Wedneday or Thursday better for you?"
Her: "bla bla bla, Wednesday"
You: Sweet! Meet me 6pm at corner of street A and B, see you there! P.S. make sure you're hungry.And you take her to your favorite restaurant. Fin. Alternatively: Her:"not sure, schedule stuff... *random excuse*...anything else
You: No worries, get in touch when you know when you're free because I'd love to see you Girl! You guys like way over complicate things. It's simple really, phone is for setting dates, and it's your job to set them, and hers to reach out to you. She gave it to you on a silver platter man by telling you directly, most girls would text you some random bullshit where what they really mean is that they want to see you and that you should take the initiative. And there is a large group of women that read some bullshit dating books or just have it in the culture (Russians, Ukranians) that hold back their natural feelings and would literally never contact you first, even if it means they'd lose you even when they think you're awesome. Right so this comment made me laugh a lot for some reason xD So I still think it was dumb for her to not answer for 4 days and I am with Bloodwhore, DarkPlasmaBall and WarSame in that regard but I must admit something and it's that you sound pretty convincing. What you say might be bullshit, but it sounds cool and makes sense. I know confidence is important, and altough I still think what she did was dumb, what I'm thinking right now is that if I think of what you said as "cool and confident", she might too. So I'll bite, this is what I'll do. I will not talk to this girl and just do my stuff without thinking much about it, but if she gets back to me saying hi or anything I'll do what you said and see how it goes. The only thing I'm not sure about is where I would take her. Would it be better to take her to eat something or drink something?
Whatever you want man - every date I went on was a place I'd enjoy regardless if the girl was there with me, again I'm stereotyping here, but majority of women like men who are confident in what they want.
An unfit place that gets you excited and where you can share stories etc. Is always better than a boring place fit for the occasion where you can't be yourself.
Also there is a very sound logical reason for girls purposefully not answering for some periods of time at first. It's often a sub conscious defense mechanism, especially the very best ones get bombarded with needy guys falling in love with them, cutting their freedom and most have been burned in the past. Girls don't go so much by looks like you and I do, appearance is pretty low on female list of priorities - they have to judge by initial actions. I'd do the same if I were a desirable hot girl. And go for the guy who doesn't start flipping out and is probably busy with his life and nothing tips him off balance. Once you start being in contact with many hot desirable women you find some form of delay will be the norm, not an exception. What she's done sucks of course, but she probably felt that she's gone out of her way to ask you out and expected you to take initiative and your answer left her disappointed.
By the way most girls do not stay this way once they decide to be with you - it's just an initial screening thing, just like you scan quickly her tits and butt, that quirky smile, her personality and sense of humor and choose the best one, desirable girls watch actions of guys and yes, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes purposefully, shit test.
And once you pass them, they open up. So I wouldn't write off a girl just because she doesn't reply to something once in a while, it just means she's getting hit on by needy guys a lot.
My girlfriend did this in the first few weeks - literally 0 initial contact. Wouldn't answer to some texts at all randomly. And took some 30 hours on average to answer to every text I sent. And now she always texts first, replies within an hour, buys me gifts all the time and is always early and plans surprises for me... Tomorrow she's booked a gym class and sushi for us (I spoiled the sushi pfft, I knew it was on the list of stuff she wanted to do). Anyways, you get the point. Nothing wrong with it in my opinion. Just keep it simple, focus on your passions, and use the phone for setting dates when she comes back to you without giving it much thought.
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Hey fellow TLers,
Long time lurker finally have something to contribute.
I just had a mutual breakup with my best friend of 5 years. We were pretty serious, together for just under two years and lived together for over half a year. We ended up realizing that we don't want the same thing.
Anyways, I decided to try my hand at online dating after my breakup. I created an okc profile and got a message from a girl. We exchanged messages for a couple of days. Seemed fairly mutual at this point so I asked if she wants to meet over coffee on Saturday and gave her my number. She said yes and would confirm closer to the day. She started the next day off with a good morning text and we continue our conversations over text for the next day and a half.
On Thursday afternoon the texts falls silent until Saturday morning when she texts me again. We text lightly throughout Saturday but she never mentions anything about our meeting. Day passes and on Sunday I decided to give it another try and asked her again. She agreed and we met in the afternoon.
I didn't allow myself to have too much expectation going into it but it turned out pretty amazing. She is cute and checks off on all of my requirements and my nice-to-haves. There was enough touching on her end that I feel like she's interested. At one point she offered me a taste of her dessert from her spoon (never had this happen before so not sure what to think of it if anything).
All in all we were together for about 2.5 hours and she never looked at her phone. Probably could have gone on longer since she kept asking me if I was hungry but I was having problems with my wisdom tooth so I declined. We left each other with a hug (she squeezed really hard here).
I waited until the next day(today), to text her. We have a nice back and forth conversation going with little delay on either end. Anyways, asked her out again for this upcoming weekend and I get a "so there's something I probably should have told you sooner..." That was about 5 hours ago, not too sure if I was suppose to respond and ask or something or if she's just writing an essay. I kind of want to just send some witty response but I'm drawing a blank on the witty right now. Too good to be true?
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On October 13 2015 06:15 Poondazzle wrote:
Hey fellow TLers,
Long time lurker finally have something to contribute.
I just had a mutual breakup with my best friend of 5 years. We were pretty serious, together for just under two years and lived together for over half a year. We ended up realizing that we don't want the same thing.
Anyways, I decided to try my hand at online dating after my breakup. I created an okc profile and got a message from a girl. We exchanged messages for a couple of days. Seemed fairly mutual at this point so I asked if she wants to meet over coffee on Saturday and gave her my number. She said yes and would confirm closer to the day. She started the next day off with a good morning text and we continue our conversations over text for the next day and a half.
On Thursday afternoon the texts falls silent until Saturday morning when she texts me again. We text lightly throughout Saturday but she never mentions anything about our meeting. Day passes and on Sunday I decided to give it another try and asked her again. She agreed and we met in the afternoon.
I didn't allow myself to have too much expectation going into it but it turned out pretty amazing. She is cute and checks off on all of my requirements and my nice-to-haves. There was enough touching on her end that I feel like she's interested. At one point she offered me a taste of her dessert from her spoon (never had this happen before so not sure what to think of it if anything).
All in all we were together for about 2.5 hours and she never looked at her phone. Probably could have gone on longer since she kept asking me if I was hungry but I was having problems with my wisdom tooth so I declined. We left each other with a hug (she squeezed really hard here).
I waited until the next day(today), to text her. We have a nice back and forth conversation going with little delay on either end. Anyways, asked her out again for this upcoming weekend and I get a "so there's something I probably should have told you sooner..." That was about 5 hours ago, not too sure if I was suppose to respond and ask or something or if she's just writing an essay. I kind of want to just send some witty response but I'm drawing a blank on the witty right now. Too good to be true?
Either shes a man, has HIV, or has a boyfriend
take your pick
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On October 13 2015 06:15 Poondazzle wrote:
Hey fellow TLers,
Long time lurker finally have something to contribute.
I just had a mutual breakup with my best friend of 5 years. We were pretty serious, together for just under two years and lived together for over half a year. We ended up realizing that we don't want the same thing.
Anyways, I decided to try my hand at online dating after my breakup. I created an okc profile and got a message from a girl. We exchanged messages for a couple of days. Seemed fairly mutual at this point so I asked if she wants to meet over coffee on Saturday and gave her my number. She said yes and would confirm closer to the day. She started the next day off with a good morning text and we continue our conversations over text for the next day and a half.
On Thursday afternoon the texts falls silent until Saturday morning when she texts me again. We text lightly throughout Saturday but she never mentions anything about our meeting. Day passes and on Sunday I decided to give it another try and asked her again. She agreed and we met in the afternoon.
I didn't allow myself to have too much expectation going into it but it turned out pretty amazing. She is cute and checks off on all of my requirements and my nice-to-haves. There was enough touching on her end that I feel like she's interested. At one point she offered me a taste of her dessert from her spoon (never had this happen before so not sure what to think of it if anything).
All in all we were together for about 2.5 hours and she never looked at her phone. Probably could have gone on longer since she kept asking me if I was hungry but I was having problems with my wisdom tooth so I declined. We left each other with a hug (she squeezed really hard here).
I waited until the next day(today), to text her. We have a nice back and forth conversation going with little delay on either end. Anyways, asked her out again for this upcoming weekend and I get a "so there's something I probably should have told you sooner..." That was about 5 hours ago, not too sure if I was suppose to respond and ask or something or if she's just writing an essay. I kind of want to just send some witty response but I'm drawing a blank on the witty right now. Too good to be true?
Well it's been 5 hours so she's clearly waiting for you to respond. Just reply with something simple like "Sure, what's up?" So far, things sound really good (the sharing of the dessert spoon is certainly a nice, cute thing), so whatever she ends up texting you, you'll have to figure out if it's worth sticking around over it. Some suggestions:
1. If she has a boyfriend, it's probably not worth sticking around for. She would apparently be the type of person to go out on dates with other guys/ look on OKCupid while "with" someone, which is pretty shitty of her (and she might keep doing it even if she ends up supposedly being exclusive with you).
2. If it's not a big deal, just say so and remove all doubt. Be careful about making too much of a joke about it though, because she clearly thinks it's something serious and so you might not want to make fun of her over it.
3. If you're unsure of how to process the news/ if you're not really sure if it's a big deal to you or not, be honest with her and let her know you need to a little while to figure things out. And then figure things out within a few hours/ a day. If you're on the fence, I would recommend trying it out anyway to see if it ends up affecting the time you spend with her. It may end up not being a big deal after all.
Good luck 
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Finally. A good juicy misery in TL dating again. Been a while. Text her back with a "sure. What's up?" Or if you feel like being witty, you can go with "OMG. I knew it! You're the axe murderer I read about!" but the first message is definitely the safer option 
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A good juicy misery in TL dating again.
LOL. I agree though we need more juicy stuff 
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Ok, how about this? 2 weeks ago I got a girls number because I thought she was cute, and I spent a chunk of the weekend flirting with her. I texted her. She texted back. We texted back and forth for a bit. Nothing came of it. 1 down, 3 billion or so to go, I guess.....
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On October 13 2015 08:33 Impervious wrote:
Ok, how about this? 2 weeks ago I got a girls number because I thought she was cute, and I spent a chunk of the weekend flirting with her. I texted her. She texted back. We texted back and forth for a bit. Nothing came of it. 1 down, 3 billion or so to go, I guess.....
Why did nothing come of it?
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On October 13 2015 08:03 bloodwhore~ wrote:LOL. I agree though we need more juicy stuff
#freesixstrings
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On October 13 2015 08:54 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On October 13 2015 08:03 bloodwhore~ wrote:A good juicy misery in TL dating again. LOL. I agree though we need more juicy stuff #freesixstrings
#freexiphos #freePUAs
But not really.
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lets be honest, the absence of sixstrings in this thread has made the thread a lot more boring. its always the failed adventures of bloodwhore, lemons dating 101, dpb old wise man advice and then the couple other regulars here
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I feel like I could take that as a compliment or as a reality check that I'm out of touch with you young'ns.
I'mma go with the compliment Just don't go asking me to buy you kids liquor.
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On October 13 2015 09:12 evilfatsh1t wrote:
lets be honest, the absence of sixstrings in this thread has made the thread a lot more boring. its always the failed adventures of bloodwhore, lemons dating 101, dpb old wise man advice and then the couple other regulars here
My technical-knockout-date doesn't get mentioned? It is most likely the best dating story I will be ever able to tell  . But I agree, Sixstring made things funny at times… mostly because being utterly wrong in his views though. Also, I highly appreciate that it now has been established that DarkPlasmaball is our “old guy” .
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On October 13 2015 09:53 waffelz wrote:Show nested quote +On October 13 2015 09:12 evilfatsh1t wrote:
lets be honest, the absence of sixstrings in this thread has made the thread a lot more boring. its always the failed adventures of bloodwhore, lemons dating 101, dpb old wise man advice and then the couple other regulars here My technical-knockout-date doesn't get mentioned? It is most likely the best dating story I will be ever able to tell . But I agree, Sixstring made things funny at times… mostly because being utterly wrong in his views though. Also, I highly appreciate that it now has been established that DarkPlasmaball is our “old guy” .
My fiancee and mother never shut up about my few gray hairs (caused by them, obviously), and now I have to put up with this crap from TLers??? I'm 27 ffs.
Also, if I'm gonna be old, at least include the "wise man" phrase that efs mentioned!
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I think we should call it DPB's W(ise)O(ld)Man advice. WOMan for short. It has a nice ring.
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I love the cleverness of that acronym -> updated sig.
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On October 13 2015 10:02 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:My fiancee and mother never shut up about my few gray hairs (caused by them, obviously), and now I have to put up with this crap from TLers??? I'm 27 ffs. Also, if I'm gonna be old, at least include the "wise man" phrase that efs mentioned!
To quote one of my students complaining about turning 22(female ofc): “I don’t want to turn 22… 18 was fine, you can do whatever you want, but 22? Old people “adult” was 21 and now I even passed that… I am basically 25 by now which is almost 30 at which point you’re almost already 35. 35 is basically the same as 40 and with 40 your old and your life is pretty much over… It is like I am already old and my life is over.”. After seeing the vast majority of the class agreeing and being 24 at that time I thought "lol... so that’s how they see you... I am basically 40 and my life is over xD". At least my grey hairs vanished after I stopped doing 70hr weeks for almost 6 years with a bad ending only to look like an idiot, and a lot of other shit constantly going on in my life. The receding hairline stayed though and I already have 2 nephews…
I know your feel and prey upon it because of it . You can have the wise though.
DarkPlasmaball the grey – giver of WOMan-advice.
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On October 13 2015 09:53 waffelz wrote:Show nested quote +On October 13 2015 09:12 evilfatsh1t wrote:
lets be honest, the absence of sixstrings in this thread has made the thread a lot more boring. its always the failed adventures of bloodwhore, lemons dating 101, dpb old wise man advice and then the couple other regulars here My technical-knockout-date doesn't get mentioned? It is most likely the best dating story I will be ever able to tell . But I agree, Sixstring made things funny at times… mostly because being utterly wrong in his views though. Also, I highly appreciate that it now has been established that DarkPlasmaball is our “old guy” .
lol my bad
in my defence this thread has had quite a few very good stories
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On October 13 2015 10:18 waffelz wrote:Show nested quote +On October 13 2015 10:02 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:My fiancee and mother never shut up about my few gray hairs (caused by them, obviously), and now I have to put up with this crap from TLers??? I'm 27 ffs. Also, if I'm gonna be old, at least include the "wise man" phrase that efs mentioned! To quote one of my students complaining about turning 22(female ofc): “I don’t want to turn 22… 18 was fine, you can do whatever you want, but 22? Old people “adult” was 21 and now I even passed that… I am basically 25 by now which is almost 30 at which point you’re almost already 35. 35 is basically the same as 40 and with 40 your old and your life is pretty much over… It is like I am already old and my life is over.”. After seeing the vast majority of the class agreeing and being 24 at that time I thought "lol... so that’s how they see you... I am basically 40 and my life is over xD". At least my grey hairs vanished after I stopped doing 70hr weeks for almost 6 years with a bad ending only to look like an idiot, and a lot of other shit constantly going on in my life. The receding hairline stayed though and I already have 2 nephews… I know your feel and prey upon it because of it . You can have the wise though. DarkPlasmaball the grey – giver of WOMan-advice.
If they were my students, I'd fail them Fortunately, my hairline is not receding.
Anyways, back to date/ relationship topics!
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I'm 22 and my hairline is receding. It started when I was 16. It feels kinda unfair, but it's happened to most of my uncles so I was fairly prepared for it, and don't feel that out of place. Plus, my brothers are going bald before me, so I won't be the first of my immediate family either.
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EPT
