EPTOn October 09 2015 02:07 IgnE wrote:
What's it like to get dissed on tinder?
What's it like to get dissed on tinder?
It's the lack of getting dissed to be honest. They just stop answering.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 710
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
It's the lack of getting dissed to be honest. They just stop answering. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On October 09 2015 00:24 westgun wrote: Well, they just said to take the beginner classes, or bronze or whatever they're called. And yeah, that's the same thing I'm thinking, what if there's not enough girls or some other weird stuff going on, so I'd say you should also look at who organizes it and see if you can join a class that's organized by one of the groups from your University. And I also have the same problem as some other posters here: I just can't get myself to talk to many people, although I have improved in the last weeks  But it still seems weird to me to approach some random strangers, especially when I can't guess their age, or worse, if there are only groups of people so you have to approach 4-5 at once! It seems that I'm kinda f-ed in the way that I'm largely a shy person, and judging from my success, also not that good looking, so I don't have much to make up for that...Oh and bloodwhore, 4 dates is already twice as many as I've had, and 2 rejections is much less than what I have. By now I've largely given up hope, but I'll still do my best and try...  It's pretty much never about looks, moreso about body language, eye contact, tone of voice etc. And if you do have confidence issues because of looks you can always get a haircut, wear clean clothes and go to the gym to artificially build up confidence in your looks. But seriously, going out with the sole purpose of walking up to strangers at social gatherings, parties even the street for a while will help your life so much in the long run | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On October 09 2015 05:51 LemOn wrote: It's pretty much never about looks, moreso about body language, eye contact, tone of voice etc. And if you do have confidence issues because of looks you can always get a haircut, wear clean clothes and go to the gym to artificially build up confidence in your looks. But seriously, going out with the sole purpose of walking up to strangers at social gatherings, parties even the street for a while will help your life so much in the long run It's very easy if you have some sort of vector to start up the conversation. After that, just let things happen. Someone watching The Office while eating lunch, if you've seen even a few episodes, or better yet, are a fan of the show, go up to them and ask if you can watch with them. After the episode ends, or if they seem pretty talkative, ask them a few questions, comment on the show... bring out your inner LR. You can even pick up a few things just for the art of starting conversations. I had a friend who was a huge huge Beatles fan, I ended up checking out some of their stuff, and now I'm listening to a bit more just so I can actually hold a conversation with a random guy/girl in a Beatles shirt that I just met on the street and seems pretty open to conversation. Lots of people with Beatles shirts around, come to think of it. Remember that when it comes to strangers, nobody cares about you because they're too busy wondering how much other strangers care about them. This is a good thing. Nobody's going to be an asshole to you just because you want to talk. Maybe they'll act like one if they had a bad day or something. Shrug your shoulders and move on. Rejection will happen. You don't win every game of SC2/LoL/Dota but that doesn't mean you stop playing. But just take your best guess at what you're doing right, what you're doing wrong, and adjust accordingly. Things will add up the right way eventually | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
On October 08 2015 04:07 bloodwhore~ wrote: I'd love to take dancing lessons if I had a girl to go with, girls who can dance are sexy as hell. I'd say I have pretty good body control so I could probably get decent at it. It's really intimate and would be pretty awesome to be able to dance well. However going alone seems like it could be a hit or a total miss, maybe you end up having to dance with some guy :/? What kind of dance did they suggest? For most of the classes you don't need a girl to go with. You rotate partners each song. Which is nice but you don't really get to learn anything about the girls as you talk to them 5 seconds a class. So it's hard for me personally to get attached to any of them. Obviously this is where I'm supposed to ask them out to learn more about them. I just don't feel like that. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
She mentioned that the "the best girls show up when you least expect them to", that she met most of her boyfriends were through common friends and that her friends seemed to think I'm awesome and that they "wouldn't pass on me" (kind of shitty translation - meaning they would date me). However since the proposition was based on her not matching with her date I'm assuming that she is involved with the idea. I think she maybe is thinking about some kind of double date. What do you think? edit: I asked and it wasn't a double date. ;__; Not sure I would have wanted to go on a double date though | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On October 09 2015 19:13 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: I think she wants to reserve you as a backup date in case her current interest(s) end up being a bust. Oh, I don't mean like that. I meant as it she takes one of her female friends to date me and I get one of my friends to date her. We're not going to date each other anymore. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
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MotherFox
United States1529 Posts
On October 09 2015 16:37 obesechicken13 wrote: For most of the classes you don't need a girl to go with. You rotate partners each song. Which is nice but you don't really get to learn anything about the girls as you talk to them 5 seconds a class. So it's hard for me personally to get attached to any of them. Obviously this is where I'm supposed to ask them out to learn more about them. I just don't feel like that. From my experience, you learn really quickly the signs of girls who would rather be doing anything other than making physical contact with you  I am married, so my experiences are a little outdated--- but when I was single I sought out community before searching for people to date. That meant investing in activities that were attractive to both genders and building relationships with people I didn't have any desire to date or sleep with. Things like: * Dancing (didn't last long, turns out I just didn't enjoy it) * Film/movie groups * Book clubs * Hiking * Biking * Work relationships. (This was ultimately where I met my wife--- but I also work in an industry which has a 1-4 man to woman ratio) I think I had lunch with my wife hundreds if not a thousand times before I actually asked her out. Sometimes that's what it takes for the shy/introverted. | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
On October 10 2015 01:17 MotherFox wrote: From my experience, you learn really quickly the signs of girls who would rather be doing anything other than making physical contact with you I am married, so my experiences are a little outdated--- but when I was single I sought out community before searching for people to date. That meant investing in activities that were attractive to both genders and building relationships with people I didn't have any desire to date or sleep with. Things like: * Dancing (didn't last long, turns out I just didn't enjoy it) * Film/movie groups * Book clubs * Hiking * Biking * Work relationships. (This was ultimately where I met my wife--- but I also work in an industry which has a 1-4 man to woman ratio) I think I had lunch with my wife hundreds if not a thousand times before I actually asked her out. Sometimes that's what it takes for the shy/introverted. I enjoy the dance. Nbd if it takes me a while or I don't meet one here I guess. I do get a feel for who wants and doesn't want to be dancing with me, and it's not a big deal. Songs are fast. I wouldn't recommend it if you don't think you'd enjoy it. But if you're not sure, then you might. I have a friend who started enjoying it after coming even though at first he said he was just coming for laughs. He says he gets signals from girls almost every class though and follows up on them. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On October 10 2015 01:02 IgnE wrote: Seems like a high probability that DBP is right and that you are missing obvious cues bloodwhore. Both of us have been terribly really clear that we will just be friends. Even if she wanted to date me I wouldn't want to so it would be kind of silly of her to "keep me on the backburner" like that. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
On October 10 2015 01:34 bloodwhore~ wrote: Both of us have been terribly really clear that we will just be friends. Even if she wanted to date me I wouldn't want to so it would be kind of silly of her to "keep me on the backburner" like that. As long as you guys are in agreement then, because unrequited love is a bitch. No one wants to feel like they were a person's back-up date, or that they "settled" for you because it didn't work out with anyone better! | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
On October 10 2015 03:42 [UoN]Sentinel wrote: Hey DPB I've always wondered - what was your love life like before Andrea? Well she and I started dating when I was a senior in high school (she was a junior at another school), so before that I had ~2 short "relationships" with "girlfriends"... I put quotes around them because they were middle/ high school relationships, so it didn't really mean much of anything. My first official girlfriend was in 8th grade, and lasted for 6 months. She made me this really cute bobblehead of a yellow labrador and named the collar's tag Snowball because Snowball was my yellow lab I was growing up with at the time. I still have that bobblehead on my desk; it's the only gift that a different girl has gotten me that Andrea's okay with me still showing off, haha (because of the sentimental value to my dog, of course... RIP Snowball <3). My second relationship was when I was a junior in high school, and I dated a girl from my job (we were tutors at a public tutoring center) for a month before she broke up with me because she didn't want to date a co-worker on principle. Oh well. Andrea and I went to prom together, and then I broke up with her later that summer because I wanted to focus 100% of the time on integrating myself with college. And I mean that sincerely and without the intention of going wild and hooking up with girls; I commuted to college every year, and I knew well ahead of time that I needed to go out of my way to get involved in clubs and organizations and everything else to make friends and find additional hobbies, since I wasn't just staying on campus where one could naturally befriend their roommates and housemates. And it turned out to be a pretty good move, because I made a ton of friends, got really involved, and had a really fun college experience as a whole! So Andrea and I took a break for a few months, where I really came out of my shell and became very outgoing. I went from a quiet, little nerd, to the kind of extroverted guy (still nerdy, of course) who would plan parties and ultimate frisbee games and bowling nights and movie events and pick up unsuspecting college students off the streets and convince them to join our ever-expanding group of friends! And it naturally turned out that girls apparently like the guy who runs events and wins at everything, so I ended up having a bunch of hook-ups during that break. It was pretty much the first time where I started to think of myself as an attractive person, which gave me even more (healthy) confidence in general. The hook-ups were fun and all, but they were too superficial for my liking and I really missed being in a relationship- and even moreso, I missed Andrea. So we got back together for a few years, as she went through college about 3-5 hours away from me. Before I graduated college, I ended up breaking up with her again. We had tried for about 3 years to make the long-distance relationship work, and we were barely able to see each other even once a month on the occasional weekend (and I worked on weekends, which meant I had to take off relatively frequently just to spend time with Andrea). She had been talking about going off to vet school, and I had asked her where she was thinking of applying. She made it clear to me that all of her options for vet school were considerably further away from me than our current colleges were, so we broke up because I couldn't handle the long distance relationship. Then a short while after (no hook-ups in between because I wasn't really looking for anything; I turned down a few though), we ended up getting back together because she told me she was apparently going to a vet school much closer to me (2 hours away, which was fantastic as far as I was concerned). And then we stayed together all throughout her vet school (she just graduated last May) and throughout my master's/ partial-PhD programs, and now we're engaged, live 15 minutes from each other, get to see each other several times each week, have been together (in total) for the better part of 9 years, and I'm incredibly thankful that she took me back twice! She's crazy lol. And that's my Love Life | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Hey DPB I've always wondered - what was your love life like before Andrea? Sick memory remembering her name bruh. On October 10 2015 04:55 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: And that's my Love Life Haha sounds awesome, well written! | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On October 10 2015 05:06 bloodwhore~ wrote: Sick memory remembering her name bruh. Haha sounds awesome, well written! First post of DPB's I remember is her picking up SC. Can't forget veterinariandrea! | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
And yes, she's played both BW and SC2 with me (when we have time) | ||
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MotherFox
United States1529 Posts
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