EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 704
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On October 03 2015 09:33 Chocolate wrote: Is it bad that I don't like when my girlfriend goes out with her friends to parties (with alcohol) without me? I mean I've seen some crazy shit happen when both people in a committed relationship went to a party, got blackout drunk independently of each other, and... weren't so committed at that point in time. But even still something can go wrong. It's normal to at least get worried. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On October 03 2015 09:33 Chocolate wrote: Is it bad that I don't like when my girlfriend goes out with her friends to parties (with alcohol) without me? Yeah I'd say so. In a truly healthy relationship you should 1) Trust her completely 2) Have enough on your plate that you always can use the time productively (That includes watching Dota, relaxation is vital to long term performance  ) so her doing her own thing just lets you work on your purpose more. | ||
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
On October 03 2015 09:33 Chocolate wrote: Is it bad that I don't like when my girlfriend goes out with her friends to parties (with alcohol) without me? Either you got that FOMO or you are jealous. Both seem not great. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
On October 03 2015 09:33 Chocolate wrote: Is it bad that I don't like when my girlfriend goes out with her friends to parties (with alcohol) without me? A little jealousy and worry is typical, but you should still be able to trust her. As long as she doesn't get completely wasted all the time and flirt and do other things that have given you reason for worry, you should let her do her own thing sometimes. Don't want to smother her. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On October 03 2015 10:06 LemOn wrote: Yeah I'd say so. In a truly healthy relationship you should 1) Trust her completely 2) Have enough on your plate that you always can use the time productively (That includes watching Dota, relaxation is vital to long term performance ) so her doing her own thing just lets you work on your purpose more.I'll add you don't want a girl that gets thrashed regularly as a girlfriend. I'd say it's normal to not like it, but you don't want to come as insecure so if you do anything about it be careful. With my ex I had the rule she could go out whenever she wanted to, but was not allowed to dance with other guys and had to always let me know she was to. I loved when she drunk texted me (and wanted to come over :D) | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
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IgnE
United States7684 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On October 03 2015 13:02 GoTuNk! wrote: I'll add you don't want a girl that gets thrashed regularly as a girlfriend. I'd say it's normal to not like it, but you don't want to come as insecure so if you do anything about it be careful. With my ex I had the rule she could go out whenever she wanted to, but was not allowed to dance with other guys and had to always let me know she was to. I loved when she drunk texted me (and wanted to come over :D) I'm a proponent of complete freedom and sharing in a relationship - like my current girl goes out with her friends here and there, they get thrashed go to clubs till 4am, she then just naturally tells me every detail, including guys she had drunk convos with and those hitting on her when we have a date sometimes several days later. And I didn't change my patterns much either, I still go out with my friends here and there till morning, talk to girls and then tell her all about it when I see her. I eventually want a girl for life I can have kids with down the line and be in love with her until I die. So regulating her (well or mine) behavior much in the first years doesn't make much sense, I will tell her how I feel about things, but let her be herself, and vice versa and if I can't get over it and e.g. I'm sober and she'd go out too much and I wouldn't feel like I trust her, it might mean it's time to move on. And maybe that's why she's your ex ;p | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Still unsure if this will turn out to be a relationship, time will tell. | ||
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waffelz
Germany711 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On October 03 2015 20:15 waffelz wrote: Gentlemen advice: When having a women sleep over, offer her your bed (fresh sheets ofc) and sleep on the couch/mattress on the floor instead. Overall it seems like a good date though. Why not just sleep in the same bed? Whether you want to bang her or not. Cuddling's fun. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
On October 03 2015 21:01 LemOn wrote: Why not just sleep in the same bed? Whether you want to bang her or not. Cuddling's fun. Some people aren't yet ready for cuddling/ touching overnight (especially because that can escalate), particularly when they've just started dating. If they're not ready (based on body language, how the night is going, and just straight up asking them tactfully), I definitely recommend offering your bed to her and you sleeping elsewhere, out of courtesy (she's the guest). | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On October 03 2015 21:01 LemOn wrote: Why not just sleep in the same bed? Whether you want to bang her or not. Cuddling's fun. Well my bed is 90 cm wide. Not really made for sleeping two in unless you're really cuddly and we haven't really been touchy feely yet. I think I asked something like "Do you want to sleep in my bed which will get really cozy (due to lack of space) or do you want a mattress on your own?" and she said she wanted to sleep on the mattress. She fell asleep the last minutes of the movie so she was tired and probably not in the mood for cuddling. I definitely recommend offering your bed to her and you sleeping elsewhere, out of courtesy (she's the guest). Didn't offer her the bed, but the mattress is probably more enjoyable to sleep on than the bed (I usually have the mattress on the bed) and she got new sheets which she noticed. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32160 Posts
On October 03 2015 09:33 Chocolate wrote: Is it bad that I don't like when my girlfriend goes out with her friends to parties (with alcohol) without me? yes if you really think she's going to drip and fall on a dick while out drinking, you either have major jealousy issues, or your girl is not trust worthy (usually it's the former). just go out with your friends, or play video games? look at it as a free night instead of whatever you're currently doing. I mean look at this on the flip side: wouldn't it be annoying as shit and ridiculous if your gf constantly felt that way, and you knew you were doing no wrong? Most likely that is the case. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On October 03 2015 19:37 bloodwhore~ wrote: I'm back. I'd say the date went pretty good. We watched some Rick and Morty, made some nougat sauce with ice cream. Talked for an hour or something then we watched Unbroken. It was pretty late after the movie like 03:00 so she crashed at my place (on a mattress on the floor). All I was thinking before was "please do not have a wet dream today" (because nofap). What happens? I have the most sexual dream ever, I'm fucking this super hot girl and then I wake up at like 06:00 by an orgasm, whole body tingling. Went into the bathroom and changed boxers, she was still asleep so I don't think she knew. In the morning we went to the grocery store and bought her some stuff so we could eat break fast. She left like 20 minutes ago. Still unsure if this will turn out to be a relationship, time will tell. Why not just have sex with her though btw? You didn't feel like it when she was at your place? Can't see many reasons not to when she was at your place | ||
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
Generally her friends are good about sticking together throughout the night but not always. It also doesn't happen often anyway because we do usually go out together, but occasionally she'll want to go out on days I can't. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
On October 04 2015 07:03 LemOn wrote: Why not just have sex with her though btw? You didn't feel like it when she was at your place? Can't see many reasons not to when she was at your place You do realize your date has to consent before *just deciding to have sex* with her, right? | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46552 Posts
On October 04 2015 07:10 Chocolate wrote: I don't think I'm jealous so much, I mostly worry about her getting EXTREMELY drunk (rarely happens with her but she doesn't weigh very much so if she drank more punch than she realized it could happen) and either thinking someone else is me or getting taken advantage of. Generally her friends are good about sticking together throughout the night but not always. It also doesn't happen often anyway because we do usually go out together, but occasionally she'll want to go out on days I can't. Yeah, that's pretty much exactly where the trust needs to begin. You can't be around her all the time, and she needs to be responsible and independent too. Just gotta deal with it! | ||
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