EPT-Talk about future after just 4 months? Back off and chill the fuck out.
-The sooner and more often a person says I love you to me the more meaningless it becomes.
Then again I might be an emotionally very unhealthy person and not realize it yet..
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 701
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
B.I.G.
3251 Posts
-Talk about future after just 4 months? Back off and chill the fuck out. -The sooner and more often a person says I love you to me the more meaningless it becomes. Then again I might be an emotionally very unhealthy person and not realize it yet.. | ||
|
solidbebe
Netherlands4921 Posts
On September 26 2015 03:07 B.I.G. wrote: Let's turn this situation around. Here is what I would think if a girl I have dated for 4 months would act the same way you are acting: -Talk about future after just 4 months? Back off and chill the fuck out. -The sooner and more often a person says I love you to me the more meaningless it becomes. Then again I might be an emotionally very unhealthy person and not realize it yet.. I think this is a good attitude to have. Take your time. It takes long to get to know someone, and even longer until real love develops. 4 months seems quick to be worrying about this kind of stuff. | ||
|
Mikau
Netherlands1446 Posts
On September 26 2015 03:00 LemOn wrote: Chill man, it's just 4 months, give her time! Of course you can say it when you strongly feel it... Just don't expect anything back, and choose a tone that makes it clear, use it mid conversation..."I love you because of...what happened/she did" or "I'm really in love with you right now. So do you feel more like Mexican or Chinese tonigh?"  as a statement/like it's no big deal and keep the conversation going. If I was a betting man I'd bet that you told her I love you and it was as if a Puppy brought the master a stick, was wagging it's tail expecting a scratch behind the ears, otherwise she wouldn't feel the need to justify not saying it back to you. Good thing you're not a betting man  . I didn't tell her I loved her, and I never expected her to say anything of the sort either. I merely expressed the same thing I did here (not knowing what love was because of my inexperience, and asking her input). That also wasn't what caused said 'episode'.On September 26 2015 03:07 B.I.G. wrote: Let's turn this situation around. Here is what I would think if a girl I have dated for 4 months would act the same way you are acting: -Talk about future after just 4 months? Back off and chill the fuck out. -The sooner and more often a person says I love you to me the more meaningless it becomes. Then again I might be an emotionally very unhealthy person and not realize it yet.. -I didn't necessarily talk about the future in that way. I merely wondered what the hypothetical next step would be (we were on our first vacation together at the time). I wasn't talking to her about moving in with me and having my babies if that's what you're expecting. Furthermore, we had talked about the future before (her initiative rather than mine). I just hit a nerve, probably relating to her past. She even told me I didn't necessarily come on too strong, but something just hit her differently than she expected. -I didn't say it yet, and up until the last week I haven't felt the need to either. Hell, most people here I think here agree that 4 months in isn't even necessarily that early. I think you guys are confusing my inexperience with emotional immaturity or stupidity. I won't say I haven't made mistakes, but you're exaggerating the extent of it a bit here. | ||
|
DickMcFanny
Ireland1076 Posts
| ||
|
solidbebe
Netherlands4921 Posts
On September 26 2015 05:59 DickMcFanny wrote: Broke off my LDR, meeting the girl from last weekend tomorrow. Could not be more excited. WOOHOO! Well I think this is what most of us were expecting  . Good that you broke off the LDR girl and didnt drag her along. I wish you the best of luck with the girl from last weekend! | ||
|
LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On September 26 2015 05:59 DickMcFanny wrote: Broke off my LDR, meeting the girl from last weekend tomorrow. Could not be more excited. WOOHOO! Well, she couldn't expect someone called MrDickMcFanny to be faithful could she really :D | ||
|
DickMcFanny
Ireland1076 Posts
| ||
|
waffelz
Germany711 Posts
On September 26 2015 05:59 DickMcFanny wrote: Broke off my LDR, meeting the girl from last weekend tomorrow. Could not be more excited. WOOHOO! Whelp. If anything, that was a quick change of heart. Still wish you the best of luck. | ||
|
DarkPlasmaBall
United States45254 Posts
On September 26 2015 05:59 DickMcFanny wrote: Broke off my LDR, meeting the girl from last weekend tomorrow. Could not be more excited. WOOHOO! I'm sure you'll update us! | ||
|
[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
| ||
|
IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On September 26 2015 07:02 DickMcFanny wrote: I have been faithful. I think you are in a pretty grey area. A monkey swinging from vine to vine. I bet your now ex is/would be pretty upset if she knew the full story. For the faithful there is no vine, you crash to the ground and have to climb back up. But Justin Timberlake made a song about this with ScarJo in the video. | ||
|
DickMcFanny
Ireland1076 Posts
| ||
|
DarkPlasmaBall
United States45254 Posts
And probably how a willingness to cheat or be unfaithful can come back to haunt you. | ||
|
whatisthisasheep
624 Posts
| ||
|
Fyodor
Canada971 Posts
On September 27 2015 15:53 whatisthisasheep wrote: I am a 28 year old single dude that just got a vacestomy a month ago. All the girls I date around my age talk about how they can't wait to have kids in a few years and get married etc. Should I be telling the girls I date that I have been fixed or just omit and play along like "oh yea I can't wait to have kids also! I never find the right words to say once the kids topic pops up. If you want to build a solid mutually beneficial relationship based on trust and love tell the truth when it comes up. if you just wanna get some casual tail and they want a solid relationship with children then you need to lie. If they don't want a solid relationship and you don't either, then the topic won't come up. Another option would be to say that you're not yet comfortable talking about this. Sort of half-way between lying and telling the truth. | ||
|
bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
I'll just go through our interaction: She texted a picture of her drinking at like 03.00 today. When I woke up I asked how often she parties. She responds with that she just "chill partied". I responded saying that she was quite the party animal (she has been out like three times this week). She stated that she is working every weekend until the 6th of november. And said she is still drunk (at 11:00). I asked if she was going to be hungover at our date. She said "Am I allowed to be? You can pass on the date if you feel it will be (dont really have a good translation for the word but) tiresome..." Damn, I'm actually really disappointed, really started looking forward to it. Now I am not even sure I want to meet her again, at least not today. She knew she was meeting me days before and she still decides to drink so much that she is drunk at 11? Yeah not a good sign in my eyes, doesn't really make me feel like she wanted to see me. I find it odd too since she was the one who said was unsure if I even wanted to see her again. I haven't answered yet.. will go climbing in before I do so I don't do anything rash. If I decide not to I'll probably say something like.. "I think I will pass. I'm actually kind of disappointed, started to look forward to this quite a bit. I've gone on date with a girl who was hung over before and it was not an enjoyable experience. However it's not even only that the date could be bad. You knew you had a date and still you drink as much so you could possibly be hungover, that's a huge red flag in my eyes. Possibly another time but I don't know..." | ||
|
JoeCool
Germany2520 Posts
How long I lasted, what I did to her, how often and so on, whether it was good/bad ... that made me nervous af. >_> Normally I do not care about these things... but this time? IDK.... fuck. :-/ Got her number though, thinking about giving her a call before she leaves on... tuesday, I believe. | ||
|
DarkPlasmaBall
United States45254 Posts
On September 27 2015 15:53 whatisthisasheep wrote: I am a 28 year old single dude that just got a vacestomy a month ago. All the girls I date around my age talk about how they can't wait to have kids in a few years and get married etc. Should I be telling the girls I date that I have been fixed or just omit and play along like "oh yea I can't wait to have kids also! I never find the right words to say once the kids topic pops up. I understand where you're coming from, but that question just seems really sleezy to me lol I think Fyodor gave a good answer to it- depends on the circumstances... although I'd add that you probably shouldn't trying to get "casual tail" from girls who are actually looking for a meaningful relationship. Look for hookups with girls who want hookups. Don't lead anyone on. | ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8797 Posts
i have a really close friend who went out with a girl about 5 years ago. the relationship wasnt a really long one but it has massive significance to him as she was the reason why he moved to a different country to study (couldnt handle the breakup). he also says he hasnt been able to find a girl ever since who could make him feel as happy as he did with her, although that seems to be changing with his latest (current) gf. now he says he doesnt give a shit about the ex and wouldnt care if i went out with her but you cant be sure. would any of you go out (or have gone out) with a close friends ex? | ||
|
Snotling
Germany885 Posts
| ||
| ||
