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On September 23 2015 16:25 DickMcFanny wrote:
I hate that you guys are right...
Haha, sometimes a bubble of ignorance can be so nice, ain't it? 
Everything has been said already, so it's just up to you.
If you really feel the way you said in your first few posts (about first 2 weeks being very hard already), then it will only get 1000x worse, hehe.
It's a harsh reality, but if I would live 1 year abroad, I would try and make the most of it, depending on how strong your current relationship is ofcourse.. But from an observers pov, it doesn't seem like you're totally in love.
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I did LDR in my first year of uni. We survived the first year without cheating (to my knowledge  ), but it was quite annoying tbh. A lot of time is spent skyping/chatting while you could have fun going out with your new uni friends. There will be jealousy no matter what. There will be retarded arguments over stupid stuff on Skype. Not an enjoyable experience for me (well it's never enjoyable but mine was particularly bad I think).
We split up the next year and when I look back I kinda regret not making the most out of my freshman year at uni due to an LDR.
As many have said it ofc depends on your relationship but I'm tempted to say you should break up and enjoy your year.
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If you're even remotely tempted to cheat on a LDR, just make it easier for both you and your partner and break up. LDRs are hard. And sure, it'd be noble if you magically jump ahead to when you get to live with your partner and you can look back and say you made it all the way through without cheating... but sometimes it's not realistic to wait that long, and sometimes you're missing out on potential relationships and opportunities you wouldn't otherwise have. So figure out what your priorities are and stick with them... just don't lead your partner on, because that's the worst thing you can do. If you want to break up, break up. If you want to stay in a LDR, commit entirely.
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LDR's should be slightly or partly open relationships. But ofcourse that's coming from a guy that doesn't really believe in true monogamy so I guess my opinion is slightly scewed :p
If one of your core identities is having just one partner and it's (near) impossible for maintaining that LDR, you should, like alot of people already said before me, break it off.
Or at least put it on hold if that's possible, but that's like having an open relationship so idk, depend on how plastic* you can see relationships I guess (getting all in that sexual fluidity).
*plastic as in plasticity, not as in the manufactured thing that our society dominates
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On September 23 2015 22:39 Uldridge wrote:
LDR's should be slightly or partly open relationships. But ofcourse that's coming from a guy that doesn't really believe in true monogamy so I guess my opinion is slightly scewed :p
Nothing should be anything. Things like this are decided upon per couple. Some couples are okay with non monogamy, some aren't. Some have looser boundaries than others. This is a very personal thing that differs for every relationship.
The one important thing is that you talk to your partner about this stuff and decide upon what you both want, whether that leads to a break up or not.
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I agree with solidbebe's response of "nothing should be anything" in particular. How easy it is to have a LDR depends on a bunch of factors, including distance apart, total time apart, how frequently you see each other, and how comfortable each of you is with having a LDR in general. For many people it's not worth it, but in many cases (including my own), you can make it work if you and your partner are motivated enough.
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Since I managed to extend the time I have to absolutely stay away from almost anything physical demanding, I will be a lot more careful this time as what I thought to be a small mistake granted me a 20 hour surgery. Previous suggestions what might be a nice couple activity along with my yes/no and reasoning, I would like some suggestions as my condition won't change for some time.
[No]
picnics - Mostly missed the weather for it by now
mini-golf - Disliked it since I was a kid.
wine tasting - I don't drink alcohol
video games - Most likely not her thing. Will wait for her to initiate this as I am way to much into it to not bore her for hours until I realize it^^
museums - Nothing that interests us in this town. Leaving town would require public transport which is bumpy at times which I must avoid.
art galleries - Same as above
How to make Dinner X/cooking courses in general - I mostly know what they teach there
club/bar with friends - Meeting with friends yes, but I am not someone who enjoys going out with friends for the sake of it. I rather have a nice evening/day at someone's place.
walk through town, discovering new places to eat etc. - Can't do much walking. Plus my town has lots of pubs/bars but the restaurants are mostly not worth noting.
dancing - impossible at the moment
Rope climbing park - impossible at the moment
Body painting - impossible at the moment. Surgery wounds + washing already is a pain in the ass as I am unable to take a proper shower.
bowling - Not at the moment
climbing - impossible at the moment
squash - impossible at the moment
puzzle - not my thing
doing origami with her - she prefers when I do it for her and rather not have me destroy the magic for her. Or maybe she just fears that I would do less origami for her, if she also knew how to do it 
karaoke night - done before, not my thing.
[in between]
concert - Already surprised her by asking her to go to a cello-concert with me. As long as I am able to sit/no chance of getting pushed etc. it would be fine. I am very picky when it comes to music though and don't care for "the experience". Its only the music that matters to me which is why I believe the only concerts that are worth going to are acoustic/classic ones. And the only classic stuff I really like is cello.
movie-night - Can be nice at times, but I am very picky with movies and so is she.
zoo - as soon as I can take public transfer without having to worry
Botanical gardens - when I am able to take public transport again.
[Yes]
Going for (short) walks
Tasting X
Baking Cookies/Cooking [already doing this]
boardgame-evening
classic romantic dinner [already doing this]
In general I figured it would be nice to have a few less "active" activities. Realized that besides gaming and reading, I am very one-sided when it comes to that.
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Well those were all our suggestions lol... I can't imagine there were too many more suggestions that we were purposely keeping from you and waiting for you to analyze the first round of suggestions first
Best of luck; hope you get better soon!
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Mexico2170 Posts
I don't really talk about this with my friends so I'll share this with you. I just came back from a date and it was pretty different from what I thought it was going to be.
She was a girl I "kind of" dated little over one year ago and we recently started talking again and we decided to meet to see what's up with our lives and stuff. When it ended at first I tried to weight if it was good or bad overall.
The good:
-It was entertaining for both of us, she laughed and so did I.
-She said farewell with a hug and a kiss on the cheek..twice, like inmediately... It was kinda weird actually
-The last time she said goodbye I said "I hope to see you more frequently" (which in retrospect I don't know why I said that) and she said "yeah, how about monday?" Which I guess is good.
The bad
-She said I looked different, when I asked if I had changed for better or for worse, she said "for funny". Since we were talking about my physical appearance that was pretty bad lol
-We talked during the time we agreed to but he could have stayed a little longer and choose not to. Now to be fair..I arrived 30 minutes late so she could have been mad or something. Still bad
That was my first breakdown of it, which was overall bad, but then after thinking about it more I realized I didn't feel anything for her. Like I saw her and didn't think "oh god she is so beautiful" and I wasn't nervous at all, it didn't feel special, just likem hanging with anybody else who is fun. There were a few "awkward pauses" but I think that was more because we haven't seen each other for a long time and don't have that much in common to talk about atm apart from memories. Like, if I don't see her ever again I wouldn't really care.
But I'll actually need to see her again because I forgot to ask her about some stuff I really need to recover that she has from me. I hope she still has them anyway...
This was surprising to me because in the past I often found myself think about her. I guess I idolized her.
To the guy above, I hope you get better soon, I also can't really think about any other sugestion lol.
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Phantom, it seems that you don't really care to meet up with her again for a date, but you mentioned that the date turned out different than you expected. How did you expect it to go? Or what happened/ didn't happen that particularly surprised you? (For fun/ closure, you could always ask her about those hypotheticals too.)
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On September 24 2015 09:55 [Phantom] wrote:
I don't really talk about this with my friends so I'll share this with you. I just came back from a date and it was pretty different from what I thought it was going to be.
She was a girl I "kind of" dated little over one year ago and we recently started talking again and we decided to meet to see what's up with our lives and stuff. When it ended at first I tried to weight if it was good or bad overall.
The good:
-It was entertaining for both of us, she laughed and so did I.
-She said farewell with a hug and a kiss on the cheek..twice, like inmediately... It was kinda weird actually
-The last time she said goodbye I said "I hope to see you more frequently" (which in retrospect I don't know why I said that) and she said "yeah, how about monday?" Which I guess is good.
The bad
-She said I looked different, when I asked if I had changed for better or for worse, she said "for funny". Since we were talking about my physical appearance that was pretty bad lol
-We talked during the time we agreed to but he could have stayed a little longer and choose not to. Now to be fair..I arrived 30 minutes late so she could have been mad or something. Still bad
That was my first breakdown of it, which was overall bad, but then after thinking about it more I realized I didn't feel anything for her. Like I saw her and didn't think "oh god she is so beautiful" and I wasn't nervous at all, it didn't feel special, just likem hanging with anybody else who is fun. There were a few "awkward pauses" but I think that was more because we haven't seen each other for a long time and don't have that much in common to talk about atm apart from memories. Like, if I don't see her ever again I wouldn't really care.
But I'll actually need to see her again because I forgot to ask her about some stuff I really need to recover that she has from me. I hope she still has them anyway...
This was surprising to me because in the past I often found myself think about her. I guess I idolized her.
To the guy above, I hope you get better soon, I also can't really think about any other sugestion lol.
drop her
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Mexico2170 Posts
I expected to be nervous or to see her and feel something you know, like when you go out with someone you really like. When it goes right you are like "yay amazing!" and fell all happy. And when it goes bad you are all let down, but I'm just here just like.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I mean I'm obviosuly thinking about it and it was like, the most noteworthy thing to happen to me this day, but still it was like.."meh" in a way. I guess the best way to explain it is that it wasn't special. Like it was fun but I didn't feel anything differenly than when I hang out with friends and have fun.
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On September 24 2015 10:44 [Phantom] wrote:
I expected to be nervous or to see her and feel something you know, like when you go out with someone you really like. When it goes right you are like "yay amazing!" and fell all happy. And when it goes bad you are all let down, but I'm just here just like.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I mean I'm obviosuly thinking about it and it was like, the most noteworthy thing to happen to me this day, but still it was like.."meh" in a way. I guess the best way to explain it is that it wasn't special. Like it was fun but I didn't feel anything differenly than when I hang out with friends and have fun.
Ah gotcha. Well at least you had the experience
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"Keep coming up with ideas so I can shoot them down guys" -Waffelz
I understand that you can't do physical stuff because of your condition and that sucks but in my opinion nothing is as much of a drag as a person saying no to everything because it's "not his thing".
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There's nothing to do in life but get high, play video games, and masturbate.
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On September 24 2015 13:23 B.I.G. wrote:
"Keep coming up with ideas so I can shoot them down guys" -Waffelz
I understand that you can't do physical stuff because of your condition and that sucks but in my opinion nothing is as much of a drag as a person saying no to everything because it's "not his thing".
I think the alternative here: doing things you don't enjoy is worse.
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On September 24 2015 13:23 B.I.G. wrote:
"Keep coming up with ideas so I can shoot them down guys" -Waffelz
I understand that you can't do physical stuff because of your condition and that sucks but in my opinion nothing is as much of a drag as a person saying no to everything because it's "not his thing".
Sorry for not making it clear, "not my thing" means "Already tried it at some point not to far in the past and didnt liked it" and I can't really change that. Noone is forced to make suggestions, already got a couple and even more that I can try out as soon as I got better(which I haven pointed out, sorry) so it is fine. Besides gaming I havent shot down an idea just because I couldn't believe it to be fun(apart from the wine tasting but I dont think I have to start about that again).
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On September 24 2015 03:58 waffelz wrote:
concert - Already surprised her by asking her to go to a cello-concert with me. As long as I am able to sit/no chance of getting pushed etc. it would be fine. I am very picky when it comes to music though and don't care for "the experience". Its only the music that matters to me which is why I believe the only concerts that are worth going to are acoustic/classic ones. And the only classic stuff I really like is cello.
 I'm a double bass player
Oh well, here is some more stuff:
- drawing pictures/caricatures of each other (if you can't draw it is still fun)
- going into a music store (or any store where they sell music and allow you to listen to it first) and sample listen to different music together, even if it is completely not your normal taste/genre
- getting creative with making Pizza yourself (you can put so many different things on there and still call it Pizza)
- card games (Poker night, or Uno, or whatever)
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On September 24 2015 03:58 waffelz wrote:Since I managed to extend the time I have to absolutely stay away from almost anything physical demanding, I will be a lot more careful this time as what I thought to be a small mistake granted me a 20 hour surgery. Previous suggestions what might be a nice couple activity along with my yes/no and reasoning, I would like some suggestions as my condition won't change for some time. [No] picnics - Mostly missed the weather for it by now mini-golf - Disliked it since I was a kid. wine tasting - I don't drink alcohol video games - Most likely not her thing. Will wait for her to initiate this as I am way to much into it to not bore her for hours until I realize it^^ museums - Nothing that interests us in this town. Leaving town would require public transport which is bumpy at times which I must avoid. art galleries - Same as above How to make Dinner X/cooking courses in general - I mostly know what they teach there club/bar with friends - Meeting with friends yes, but I am not someone who enjoys going out with friends for the sake of it. I rather have a nice evening/day at someone's place. walk through town, discovering new places to eat etc. - Can't do much walking. Plus my town has lots of pubs/bars but the restaurants are mostly not worth noting. dancing - impossible at the moment Rope climbing park - impossible at the moment Body painting - impossible at the moment. Surgery wounds + washing already is a pain in the ass as I am unable to take a proper shower. bowling - Not at the moment climbing - impossible at the moment squash - impossible at the moment puzzle - not my thing doing origami with her - she prefers when I do it for her and rather not have me destroy the magic for her. Or maybe she just fears that I would do less origami for her, if she also knew how to do it karaoke night - done before, not my thing. [in between] concert - Already surprised her by asking her to go to a cello-concert with me. As long as I am able to sit/no chance of getting pushed etc. it would be fine. I am very picky when it comes to music though and don't care for "the experience". Its only the music that matters to me which is why I believe the only concerts that are worth going to are acoustic/classic ones. And the only classic stuff I really like is cello. movie-night - Can be nice at times, but I am very picky with movies and so is she. zoo - as soon as I can take public transfer without having to worry Botanical gardens - when I am able to take public transport again. [Yes] Going for (short) walks Tasting X Baking Cookies/Cooking [already doing this] boardgame-evening classic romantic dinner [already doing this] In general I figured it would be nice to have a few less "active" activities. Realized that besides gaming and reading, I am very one-sided when it comes to that.
Stealing this list for personal use
This should be kept up to date lol
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EPT
