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Didn't we have this topic a while ago?
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 694
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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DickMcFanny
Ireland1076 Posts
Didn't we have this topic a while ago? | ||
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WonnaPlay
Netherlands912 Posts
On September 13 2015 20:36 bloodwhore~ wrote: I live in a smaller city in Sweden. If I had infinite money LDR wouldn't be as big of a problem. However going back and fourth cost about 400 KR ~ 48 USD. Which is a lot of money for a poor student. This must be the worst analogy I've seen  , pretty funny though.You're overthinking too much. WAY WAY WAY too much. It reminds me of my younger self ; Whenever a girl was into me, I would process the whole potential relationship in my head. If I didn't like her enough, I would tell the girl that it was not going anywhere (even if we had only kissed once), since I never wanted to misuse a girl or didn't want to give false hope. If I liked the girl enough, I would move to fast and wanted a relationship, which in turn scared the girl off. End result : you either scare them away or you scare yourself away --> Never get relationships. It's probably one of the hardest things to do, but try to simplify it for you. Going on 1-2-5 dates with a girl, doesn't have to mean anything. Just have fun in your life. Stop thinking about LDR or Relationships at all, just go out with the girl and see what happens. You're 5 months and 15 meetings too early to be talking about a long distance relationship. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On September 14 2015 18:45 WonnaPlay wrote: You're overthinking too much. WAY WAY WAY too much. I under what you're saying. However, I don't think it's unreasonable to think about these kinds of things. It isn't even when the relationship is formed it is costly. Like even just going on a date would cost $45. I don't want to be rude but I think very few people are worth paying 45 bucks to date. I know I would definitely not spend 45 bucks to date myself. In my eyes I don't think about the girl when I think about these things. I just don't really see the point of choosing a LDR over someone who lives close. I highly doubt I have a better shot with this girl over any other girl. I don't know, there are so few positives with this idea. TL:DR Long distance dating is even worse. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On September 15 2015 01:42 WarSame wrote: Going on a date can cost $0. Even if you're going out to eat, unless you're paying for their meal as well, it should cost about $20. Although I suppose most people pay for their meal as well. I'm just counting the travel to another city. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46542 Posts
On September 15 2015 01:42 WarSame wrote: Going on a date can cost $0. Even if you're going out to eat, unless you're paying for their meal as well, it should cost about $20. Although I suppose most people pay for their meal as well. It depends on where you're eating/ what you're eating and drinking/ what time of day, too  | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46542 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Is there any passable public transportation near you that you could use? Not really, I would be fine with it if she lived at the other campus though. Our university in two nearby cities and there is a bus that goes back and fourth for free if you're studying. Since she is not studying there it would be a bus to the central, then a train to her town, from there a bus to her house(?). I don't have a problem with paying on dates, but if it's just for the travelling it gets kind of absurd. The more I think about the whole thing the more I think it's the money that's the issue. The reason I wouldn't be able to travel to her on a normal weekday is because riding back and fourth on a date is a real waste of money for a poor student. We'll see what happens, like someone here said, she probably feels the same way. edit: Noticed I pressed enter when I was writing.. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On September 15 2015 03:22 B.I.G. wrote: well shit bloodwhore if the whole idea of spending too much effort and money on her is such a big issue then just call it off... Well you're the ones that persuaded me to go for it anyway. Well nothing is decided yet, maybe I fall in love at first sight and start making stupid decisions  | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
Or, you know, stay at home and be sure none of the above will happen. | ||
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WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
EDIT: The same thing B.I.G. said. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
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Acrofales
Spain18473 Posts
On September 15 2015 02:57 bloodwhore~ wrote: Not really, I would be fine with it if she lived at the other campus though. Our university in two nearby cities and there is a bus that goes back and fourth for free if you're studying. Since she is not studying there it would be a bus to the central, then a train to her town, from there a bus to her house(?). I don't have a problem with paying on dates, but if it's just for the travelling it gets kind of absurd. The more I think about the whole thing the more I think it's the money that's the issue. The reason I wouldn't be able to travel to her on a normal weekday is because riding back and fourth on a date is a real waste of money for a poor student. We'll see what happens, like someone here said, she probably feels the same way. edit: Noticed I pressed enter when I was writing.. So... catch the free bus and then a cheap bus from the uni to the city center? Or am I applying the jeitinho Brasileiro in a situation you can't? | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On September 15 2015 05:35 Acrofales wrote: So... catch the free bus and then a cheap bus from the uni to the city center? Or am I applying the jeitinho Brasileiro in a situation you can't? That campus is unfortunately in the wrong direction | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Just go on the date without agendas and stuff, see what happens you're just wasting time contemplating and you could have asked like 30 chicks on the street out during that time :D | ||
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Zambrah
United States7393 Posts
Venue. I ain't gots no monies, and we're both seniors at my school and we've both likely seen Providence to-fuckin'-death. Time. This is the REALLY hard one, 'cause its our senior year, we have a senior show to prepare for, we have the best class choices and shes ultra hard working, like Im no slouch, but this girl is super talented and super hard working and Im wondering if its gonna be feasible to go on a date with the kind of schedules RISD students who give a fuck keep... I'll still probably ask, Im sure we can just work together and all of that lovely stuff, but d'y'all have any recommendations? I'm thinking maybe a movie, I can at least afford the tickets... EDIT: Also, I was thinking of asking her out tonight, but its her birthday and I thought that'd be weird. | ||
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
literally netflix and chill I don't know how long it takes to get from Providence to areas where there are hiking trails but that could be an option. Don't act like this costs a lot of money. You don't need a ton of gear if you're doing less than 10 miles a day and not even camping outside. Just comfortable shoes, food, and a couple backpacks. I don't know dude generally if you know someone well enough already the date itself won't really matter and you could probably just hang out in your room or something. Maybe get a couple bottles of cheap wine and play board games? Or watch a movie? But if you don't know her very well that won't be appropriate. In that case I would suggest just going out to eat and then walking around a park or something if you don't like the thing I mentioned earlier. Don't go out to watch a movie if you can help it though. It's such a boring date due to the lack of conversation Yeah don't ask her out on her birthday. The day after would be fine though. Also: this could be me getting smarter or more mature but I've noticed since I started dating my girlfriend that I'm a lot more focused on my classes and that other girls seem to treat me a lot better. It's pretty cool. I guess stability is a little bit underrated | ||
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Zambrah
United States7393 Posts
On September 15 2015 07:38 Chocolate wrote: picnic literally netflix and chill I don't know how long it takes to get from Providence to areas where there are hiking trails but that could be an option. Don't act like this costs a lot of money. You don't need a ton of gear if you're doing less than 10 miles a day and not even camping outside. Just comfortable shoes, food, and a couple backpacks. I don't know dude generally if you know someone well enough already the date itself won't really matter and you could probably just hang out in your room or something. Maybe get a couple bottles of cheap wine and play board games? Or watch a movie? But if you don't know her very well that won't be appropriate. In that case I would suggest just going out to eat and then walking around a park or something if you don't like the thing I mentioned earlier. Don't go out to watch a movie if you can help it though. It's such a boring date due to the lack of conversation The biggest problem is finding the time, our schedules are more or less this: Wake up, liberal arts class at 9:40 til 11:20, lunch, Studio class from 1:10 - 6:10, dinner, do homework for many hours until you absolutely have to sleep ~ 2am. The scheduling is very nuts to deal with, my school's dating atmosphere is really abysmal because of it, but I've done it before and I thiiiink I can make this work if shes not high maintenance (I don't think shes high maintenance). Also neither of us drinks, or does drugs. Also my bank account is at like 17 dollars right now. :D I dunno, I'll default to something simple, there are plenty of good simple options... Well, for now I'll be on the lookout for hiking trail stuff in RI. | ||
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