We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On January 04 2013 12:50 farvacola wrote: This might sound strange, but does she remind you of any sort of bird? If so, thumbs up from me.
She does, the delicate features of her face and body structure do remind me of a little bird. But it does sound strange, so... why such a question?
On January 04 2013 13:03 sam!zdat wrote: screw you kukaracha
<3 you too sam!
On January 04 2013 13:31 biomech wrote: That's france for you boys, GL HF. French girls, uh uh, delicious.
Yup yup, and she even gets mad when she eats too much pizza and not enough vegetables, as if she had a sort of cerebral implant that forced her to stay thin (and yet bootalicious). But she also gets mad when I say that she's a typical parisian girl so shhhh.
On January 04 2013 10:43 sam!zdat wrote: you're confusing statistical tendency with direct causation, is the point
No. I explained the statistical tendency. There is causality. It would be obvious to you, if you weren't so politically corrrect.
it's funny how you know absolutely nothing about me
the point is we think your explanation is what we call in the business "bullshit"
of course if you are smart you are going to face some special obstacles when it comes to dating. saying that therefore "girls don't like smart guys" is puerile
Well, you haven't pointed to a single reason why. You just post your stupid bullshit over and over again. Get lost.
To realize why I'm right you just have to realize the following:
1) Smart people tend to be more introverted than dumber people.
2) Introverted people tend to get laid less than extroverted people.
Done and done.
see now you are just trumpeting your correlation causation fallacy and feeling self-righteous about it
What?
Do you even know what you're saying? Have you just learned the correlation-is-not-causation-fallacy and think it applies to everything?
Fact remains: Smart people tend to be introverted, and introverted people tend to get laid less.
I mean, it's not that controversial, is it?
Smart people also tend to be able to analyze & solve complex situations more efficiently and recognize emerging patterns better than "dumber" people.
Pretty much all pioneers of the modern PUA scene for example got their form of success by, well... being huge fucking nerds about it.
I guess so, but it's not a complex issue getting a girl or getting laid (if you're not thinking about it, which smart people tend to do too much).
If it's so simple, why not go womanizing? If you are smart, you will realize that putting your dick in girls will make you happier. Moreover, you will also realize that many ugly men are very successful with women. What's holding you back?
You should be a foreigner (preferably European) in America. Your dating game would just be like +3 or something.
This dude tries to pick up girls by speaking Norwegian, and girls give him numbers even though they can't understand him. And I thought the Swedes had dat swag.
I'd be very happy to give anyone advice and share my experiences! I will post a couple stories in this thread on another day, however my girlfriend and I are settling down to play some Sims 3. MEOW!
Ok so I figured out how to search through threads to find out where I had posted in them. Apparently I posted on page 40...
On November 19 2011 09:30 obesechicken13 wrote: I got to level 18 in league of legends!
I'm level 30 now :p
Made a small script in R. I really like interpreted languages. I don't think anyone else would want to use this script though so... mine!
And right above my post:
On November 19 2011 09:28 Gahlo wrote: Was in a 5.5 year relationship with a French girl, I live in the US on the east coast. I was all in, committed, everything. Then she left.
This was about half a year ago. I haven't been able to get a date since and I'm trying really, really hard to not be bitter.
On 2 occasions I've asked a girl for a date. I only do that whenever I'm going really serious on a girl. I feel like the point of dating is "stepping stone" towards a girlfriend/boyfriend type relationship. I think its wrong to think like that because it feels uneasy.
The first time, it was 4th year highschool, she was a brunette copy of Rosamund Pike and she was insanely good in math, flute, studies really hard and.....she's never had a boyfriend in her whole life, even until now.. She never thought about it she said.. We met because I was some sort of a class clown, she enjoys my jokes and I became one of her friends. It was really fun and I started to really like her. When I asked her out, she naturally rejected and after that, our friendship was never the same. She started acting like she was distant. She's in FIU now, studying a master's course in flute. I'm not sure we'll meet again.
The second one, its not really important, I was lonely and want to get laid, although I thought I was going serious
Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, when its supposed to be a game to simply know each other (and maybe have a one night stand). Yeah, I should start dating just for the hell of it, without thinking too much and just having fun.
On January 04 2013 13:31 biomech wrote: That's france for you boys, GL HF. French girls, uh uh, delicious.
Yup yup, and she even gets mad when she eats too much pizza and not enough vegetables, as if she had a sort of cerebral implant that forced her to stay thin (and yet bootalicious). But she also gets mad when I say that she's a typical parisian girl so shhhh.
My girlfriend is french! Although we've only been dating a bit over a year and a half. And we're a good christian couple (Poor me? Not sure I care haha. Maybe not THAT good, but definitely not stereotypical).
On January 04 2013 14:13 kakaman wrote: You should be a foreigner (preferably European) in America. Your dating game would just be like +3 or something.
This dude tries to pick up girls by speaking Norwegian, and girls give him numbers even though they can't understand him. And I thought the Swedes had dat swag.
Oh yeah. Girls in Texas go crazy over european accents, haha.
"Because he is happy being the person he wants to be."
EXCELLENT mindset to have.
"Smart guys get laid less" is simply a terrible stereotype. Sheldon from "The Big Bang Theory" fits the stereotype perfectly, but OTOH, you have Howard, who seems to be quite the ladies man. (At least that's how it seems from the tv commercials)
The best advice I can lend my fellow TL'ers is : Try to avoid getting into conversations with women where you find yourself explaining how things work. Avoid conversations that could potentially be labeled as, "techno babble". My experience has shown me that girls don't necessarily care about how things work, they care about IF it works.
What's more attractive to a woman.........a nerd explaining to her why she should date him.........or a hunk picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom?
It's not really about what she thinks, it's more about how she FEELS.
i moved to holland 6 months ago, decided to try online dating.. ive always been reluctant about it.. but the first girl i met ended up being great and we've been togetner for nearly 5 months now. spent xmas with her family and shes coming back to canada with me in march <3
Lately after my last break-up, I went with the route of just having a close friend that I sleep with, and have other close friends too. It makes me not lonely, and I don't have to try so hard to go to a club to get laid or something.
It's a nice formula that works for me currently, saves time and money, which is good as I'm currently in university for engineering.
Although as strict-dating is concerned, my last girl really fucked my head with the perception of everything, and it's just a lot more difficult looking at relationships the same. Have found one girl since then (5-6 months) that I was sincerely interested in, but before I could get close she found a guy, and now were really goof friends. So I guess not too hot, but I'm not losing sleep over it. (Here I am awake at 3am haha)
On January 04 2013 12:50 farvacola wrote: This might sound strange, but does she remind you of any sort of bird? If so, thumbs up from me.
She does, the delicate features of her face and body structure do remind me of a little bird. But it does sound strange, so... why such a question?
In my personal experience, the most attractive women tend to have an avian countenance in one way or another. Just curious to see if this holds true for others
On January 04 2013 12:50 farvacola wrote: This might sound strange, but does she remind you of any sort of bird? If so, thumbs up from me.
She does, the delicate features of her face and body structure do remind me of a little bird. But it does sound strange, so... why such a question?
In my personal experience, the most attractive women tend to have an avian countenance in one way or another. Just curious to see if this holds true for others
Avian and feline are the best.. A shame they don't get along.. =/
I really shoudn't step in what is nothing more than people talking past eachother about trivial points, but let's do it.
With that said, some of your beliefs are wrong. In particular, the belief that "smart" people (those with high IQ) are inclined to have poor social skills. This is actually wrong, for many academically intelligent people are also socially and emotionally intelligent as well. This is supported by a variety of sources:
Since no one will bother reading the sources (I'd argue quoting psychological journals as a source does not hold value anyway), could you define "social skills" ? I know it's a fairly common expression, but I would be surprised to meet someone who could give me a simple definition of it, while also coherent with his ideas.
There's no such thing as an ability to interact with everyone in general, because human beings are very, very different. Everyone, except maybe for a few exceptions, tends to interact very well to those who resemble him and not as well with the others. That being said, the common conception of "social skill", as I understand it, means the ability to interact with the majority of people, that is people with around average IQ.
But then it follows immediately that people with high IQ have below average social skills, doesn't it ?
Things are in fact not as straightforward. Among brilliant people, some are much more "social" than others, but in the end, if everyone with average IQ has what we've decided to call good social skills, and only part of those with high IQ do, it's a natural conclusion to draw that "smart" people are inclined to have poor social skills.
I have no idea whatsoever what social intelligence, and even more emotional intelligence are supposed to mean. IQ certainly doesn't make one feel less emotions, at least.
Finally, your observed trend that intelligent people are more likely to be introverted is an incorrect assumption. Introversion and extroversion are not a function of intelligence, but are an observed personality trait on a continuum. (http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201008/revenge-the-introvert).
Indeed, we all know that intelligence has nothing to do with personality.
So how does it work? I just can't think of any disadvantages for being tall in terms of producing offspring. There seems to be only advantages, atleast for now in western countries, and humans will just keep getting taller. Hmm, time to google this.
They'd be the first to take arrows in the head ! !
That's france for you boys, GL HF. French girls, uh uh, delicious.
Want to trade countries ? I don't find them that attractive. They're certainly sophisticated, though.
Edit : I'm so glad I discovered that thread. I seriously intend to read its full content, from the beginning, as soon as I find the time.
On January 04 2013 06:11 RogerX wrote: I didn't even know what to do at my date
Took her out to a nice little community lot and didn't even hold her hand. (Everythings over though)
Wat do.
tl;dr: Have fun with her, talk with her about whatever floats your boat, get her used to being touched by you, share some more laughs, get her used to some more touching. That's pretty much the important stuff in a nutshell.
Not sure how to touch without feeling like a creepy guy.
On January 04 2013 12:08 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote: I'm no longer trying to troll you. I'm being a real, caring person here. I want you to change your life for the better, because your story is so heartbreaking to me. You deserve better, and you can get it. Everyone deserves the chance to love and be loved.
On January 04 2013 19:29 Kyrillion wrote: Since no one will bother reading the sources (I'd argue quoting psychological journals as a source does not hold value anyway), could you define "social skills" ? I know it's a fairly common expression, but I would be surprised to meet someone who could give me a simple definition of it, while also coherent with his ideas.
There's no such thing as an ability to interact with everyone in general, because human beings are very, very different. Everyone, except maybe for a few exceptions, tends to interact very well to those who resemble him and not as well with the others. That being said, the common conception of "social skill", as I understand it, means the ability to interact with the majority of people, that is people with around average IQ.
But then it follows immediately that people with high IQ have below average social skills, doesn't it ?
Things are in fact not as straightforward. Among brilliant people, some are much more "social" than others, but in the end, if everyone with average IQ has what we've decided to call good social skills, and only part of those with high IQ do, it's a natural conclusion to draw that "smart" people are inclined to have poor social skills.
I have no idea whatsoever what social intelligence, and even more emotional intelligence are supposed to mean. IQ certainly doesn't make one feel less emotions, at least.
It's really an abstract concept imo. You're currently trying to make it fit a very logical explanation to draw a conclusion but the word is in itself pretty large as to what it describes. The key element is the S plural in "social skills", it just describe a very wide range of skills.
If you want my personal opinion, social skills just envelop skills relating to people. It's (among other thing) the ability to be liked, to show who you like (if you desire), to deflect topics, to manipulate people, to blend in, to lead, to be understood, to follow a lead, being comfortable in wide variety of social interaction, etc...
It's pretty large and someone who I judge has good social skills is never good at every skills. Usually I'd qualify someone having good social skills someone that can make others like him, can reach a goal in social interactions, all this while being able to stand out and keep his dignity.
But as you can see its pretty hard to really narrow it down. I think it's a bit of a waste of time to try, as long as you have a vague idea of what people mean by it.
As to what its relation is to IQ, I think people with high IQ tend to develop a more introverted personality (on average) which, without meaning they are asocial, tends to make them not really seek that much social interactions. This lead them to be rather inexperienced and therefore have not so good skills as someone who uses them everyday since he is 12. Like any skills, it comes through both experience and born talent. Also one must not forget that many people with average IQ also have terrible social skills so you really cannot make a direct link between the too. Why do they have bad social skills ? for the same reasons, a lack of experience.
However, the good news is that in my opinion this is really something that you can train. But there is a necessary condition, the ability of self-critic coupled with the will to really believe you can change it. And that is a trait that is lacking many people, whatever their IQ.
Not sure how to touch without feeling like a creepy guy.
Never met someone that just touches you on the shoulder, gives you hug etc... without feeling creepy ? Same stuff, it's a step by step process with light touches. If your hand is staying on her for more than 1 or 2s this is creepy. But a hug here and there, a thumbs fight, a finger in the ribs, touching her face to wipe a hair, taking her hand to guide her (or just to hold it when you're more intimate); that's the good stuff. Here is the thing with some guys. They obsess over a girl for 3 months, never dare touch her and then suddenly they confess and expect a french kiss. It doesn't work that way, you gotta make her accustomed to your feel. It's also a great way to know if she likes you or not. Touch has far greater power than words to make a girl fall for you.
I could easily make a movie without sound with 2 people falling for each other and you would believe it but I would probably fail to make a pure dialog to achieve the same result.
On January 05 2013 06:13 rezoacken wrote: Never met someone that just touches you on the shoulder, gives you hug etc... without feeling creepy ? Same stuff, it's a step by step process with light touches. If your hand is staying on her for more than 1 or 2s this is creepy. But a hug here and there, a thumbs fight, a finger in the ribs, touching her face to wipe a hair, taking her hand to guide her (or just to hold it when you're more intimate); that's the good stuff.
EPT
(Poor me? Not sure I care haha. Maybe not THAT good, but definitely not stereotypical).
