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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-02-04 00:35:19
February 04 2015 00:24 GMT
#11541
It's all good, she told me she has some friends from where she's from and that her girl friends from her university are going but that she wants to chill with me and my friend, plus I learned some of my other friends are going separately so it'll all be good.

And yeah I've never taken as much as 2 rolls at a time before but I imagine if me and her both take that much we will have a good time indeed haha.
On February 03 2015 23:10 Acrofales wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 03 2015 09:47 Chocolate wrote:
@acrofales But then my friend can't go if she's with a big group. If it's her and a lot of her friends I'd like to have one of my good friends there too in case they decide to do their own thing or something and I don't have to awkwardly tag along
@joshie0808 Well yeah she probably will but that doesn't mean she's going with them per se
@zooper I like your second one, I think I'll do that, BUT

I really want it to be just us though because we are going to have a MegaDopeMegaAwesome time and I wouldn't want to have to worry about other people. But I don't know if she wants that just because it's an edm concert or for other reasons. We'll see I guess


She invited you along. If you feel like you are an awkward addition to the group, you say your goodbyes and leave. You don't need your friend along.

If your friend really wants to go to the party and wasn't just doing it as a favour to help a buddy out, tell him to find some other people, go with them and you might meet him there.

No I really wanted him to go because he's like one of my best friends. And this way it works out because some of our other friends are over there too
On February 03 2015 15:36 B.I.G. wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 03 2015 09:32 joshie0808 wrote:
On February 03 2015 09:15 Chocolate wrote:
Some girl told me to go to a concert with her when we were both drunk and I couldn't take her back to my place. And then the next two days she texted me about that stuff so I assume she still wants to go. I've never gone to a big edm concert before with lots of young people dancing so I don't know what to expect, but that's not the real problem.

I am confused whether I am going just with her (on like a date-ish thing) or if she is just inviting me along with a group, and I don't know how to phrase that question without potentially making it seem like I'm coming on too strong. It's not a big deal either way to me but I'm at a loss when it comes to phrasing and I need to know soon to see if my friend should order a ticket.

I'm thinking of just saying "How many people are you going with?" but I feel like then maybe I'll make her feel bad if she isn't going with anybody other than me and she intended it to be just us.


You can phrase it like, "know anyone else who'll be there?"

How about not fucking around too much and just say: I hope it's just gonna be you and me? (say it with a smile and not quivering insecurity) And let her know you are pleased if she says yes and act nonchalant when she says shes bringing her other friends.

Seriously I get that you might be insecure but beating around the bush and asking vague questions is only going to make her become even less confident and feel like she SHOULD invite someone else. You have to take away the "weirdness" of being alone with her.

It's not so much insecurity haha, like right now my GabaA receptors are fucking blown out, it's just that I don't want to fuck up because she's pretty awesome

Actually I'm worried moreso now that if anything does happen she'll only see it as a temporary thing. But she is really attractive and nice and is one of the few girls I've met that isn't like pierced 20 times with 60% tattoo coverage that is down to try anything, plus her family is really influential where I'm from so there's that haha

Oh and she has an affinity for baking soda and I don't carry that because I almost got arrested for that shit like two weeks ago. IDK I'm just nervous because this is my first chance with a girl I REALLY like
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
February 04 2015 01:24 GMT
#11542
You got arrested for carrying baking soda?
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5710 Posts
February 04 2015 01:26 GMT
#11543
On February 04 2015 10:24 IgnE wrote:
You got arrested for carrying baking soda?


Pretty sure it's got something to do with drugs.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18826 Posts
February 04 2015 01:51 GMT
#11544
You're supposed to call them nose clams, fresh from the sea.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
February 04 2015 01:59 GMT
#11545
I'm partial to corn starch myself. Good for thickening sauces and in breading.
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4782 Posts
February 04 2015 02:04 GMT
#11546
This is beginning to sound more and more like a bad 80's movie...
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
February 04 2015 02:12 GMT
#11547
I believe the base human desire is to have children with someone you love, who loves you, and to improve the lives of those children. Is our society going astray with our current promiscuous trend?
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
February 04 2015 02:48 GMT
#11548
I believe a base human desire is to have sex with as many people as possible. Is this culture of monogamy going astray from our ancient promiscuous roots?
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
February 04 2015 03:39 GMT
#11549
Interesting. What do you base that belief upon? Mine is based upon the evolutionary goal of passing on your genetics, and ensuring that your future generations will be able to do so as well.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5710 Posts
February 04 2015 04:00 GMT
#11550
On February 04 2015 12:39 WarSame wrote:
Interesting. What do you base that belief upon? Mine is based upon the evolutionary goal of passing on your genetics, and ensuring that your future generations will be able to do so as well.


It's based on what actually happened in history.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18826 Posts
February 04 2015 04:10 GMT
#11551
What the hell is an evolutionary goal anyway. Can I play keeper?
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
February 04 2015 04:15 GMT
#11552
An evolutionary goal is pretty much the dominant strategy of a species, I suppose.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-02-04 04:31:28
February 04 2015 04:29 GMT
#11553
I believe a base human desire is to expend as little energy as possible for maximum return. Is our current intellectual culture of pursuing excellence going astray from our inherent lazy beginnings?
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
February 04 2015 05:37 GMT
#11554
CosmicSpiral, good point. In my opinion that laziness works directly against most of our other attributes. The reason we do anything is because our innate drive to improve ourselves and our situation overpowers our laziness. Why? It was the effective method, so it evolved as the effective strategy.

Therefore, in my opinion, pursuing excellence is just another example of us overpowering our laziness. It also is an example of us trying to improve the situation for our future generations, and trying to improve our position relative to those around us.

I'm tired, so I doubt what I said made sense.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-02-04 06:02:50
February 04 2015 06:02 GMT
#11555
On February 04 2015 14:37 WarSame wrote:
CosmicSpiral, good point. In my opinion that laziness works directly against most of our other attributes. The reason we do anything is because our innate drive to improve ourselves and our situation overpowers our laziness. Why? It was the effective method, so it evolved as the effective strategy.

Therefore, in my opinion, pursuing excellence is just another example of us overpowering our laziness. It also is an example of us trying to improve the situation for our future generations, and trying to improve our position relative to those around us.

I'm tired, so I doubt what I said made sense.


I was more poking fun at the one-upmanship. Both you and Igne are right: evolution is not so dichotomous that both strategies don't work together. Also, this isn't the right place to have that discussion.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
killa_robot
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada1884 Posts
February 04 2015 06:34 GMT
#11556
On February 04 2015 14:37 WarSame wrote:
CosmicSpiral, good point. In my opinion that laziness works directly against most of our other attributes. The reason we do anything is because our innate drive to improve ourselves and our situation overpowers our laziness. Why? It was the effective method, so it evolved as the effective strategy.

Therefore, in my opinion, pursuing excellence is just another example of us overpowering our laziness. It also is an example of us trying to improve the situation for our future generations, and trying to improve our position relative to those around us.

I'm tired, so I doubt what I said made sense.


Human beings aren't lazy, we just take the path of least resistance, like anything else in nature. The reason so many people are seen as lazy is because the effort they need to exert in order to accomplish something is indirect. There's no instant gratification for most things anymore, which is where we get most of our motivation from.
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States23222 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-02-04 08:34:01
February 04 2015 08:33 GMT
#11557
There's a line about "Women want one man to satisfy their every need, Men want every woman to satisfy their one need" that fits somewhere in here.

But seriously, I was wondering opinions on how much stuff and how often a girl can be over at your place before she's "moved in"?
"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
February 04 2015 08:41 GMT
#11558
Does she have another place? If yes then she's not moved in.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States23222 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-02-04 09:02:48
February 04 2015 08:58 GMT
#11559
On February 04 2015 17:41 IgnE wrote:
Does she have another place? If yes then she's not moved in.


I am asking to help a friend settle a dispute with his roommate. I understand the sentiment, but I doubt the other place existing matters much.
"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
February 04 2015 09:22 GMT
#11560
Oh so you are asking for rent purposes. If you are sharing a flat with a roommate who has a guest there more than 2 nights a week, she is effectively moved in. 2 nights or less I consider guest.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
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