We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On October 08 2014 18:45 JuneMay wrote: Since I don't see pictures I will base my answer just on text. Obviously pictures could change my opinion (lets not kid ourselves looks are important).
Agree that looks are important but the issue in my opinion is that looks are entirely subjective. So imho the issue is that just because you think Girl 1 is more attractive than Girl 3 does not mean that the OP does. And if the OP thinks that Girl 3 is more attractive than Girl 1 then in theory you have to account for that in your analysis rather than who you think is more attractive. And who knows how important looks are to him when compared to you. Which makes the entire thing useless UNLESS his perception of physical attractiveness can be that easily swayed by public opinion.
Also -- Anyone Else > Girl A > Girl B > Girl 3
Girl A: She doesn't seem like the kind of girl I would want as a girlfriend given she's flirting with you behind her current boyfriend's back and you will have to worry about the same shit if you date her. All that said it doesn't really sound like you want anything serious so I feel this is the best match. It could work casually or short-term relationship.
Girl B: She wants a long-term relationship which it doesn't sound you're willing (or wanting) to commit to. Personally, I think this will be difficult because from your description she comes across as a young woman with traditional values while you come across as a boy looking to get laid (sorry if that's harsh).
Girl 3: If you take this girl back I feel there's a high chance you will get emotionally attached and dragged back into a pretty fucked up situation. She might also realise that she can pull stupid shit in the future and expect you to take her back and pick up the pieces which imho is not your duty. Short-term I think this works out better than Girl B because you probably get laid - but I figure the potential emotional shit storm makes this worse in the long-term.
On October 08 2014 14:05 pls no ty wrote: Deleted the links. Their pictures are public to anyone on instagram and facebook but it sounds stupid for me too on second thinking. I just wanted to show after typing about that much, thats all. Thank you for warning.
This will be long. TLDR'er jokes are highly accepted.
If you dont want to read, in the first post i say im trying to move on a new life after breaking up with my 4 years long girl friend because of her cheating, and this time (thanks to my work) im trying with foreigners (non-turkish girls) since they are more friendly and better in many cases! (can explain if you ask what is this, but not our topic now)
I said im trying with strangers, but not only! I made a fresh new beginning with changing my friends and meeting new ones. Former friends were also her friends, so it was so hard for us and them to choose between. And i found a girl, she was my friend with benefits for a while but we stopped fucking, stood only as friends. As our friendship grows, we evolved something into, i dont know, i wont say brothers and sisters because theres still a fuck possibility (we kissed when we were high) but its like so strong, we are planning a life time friendship where we always put each other in to front when deciding about something serious etc. I guess you understood. This girl found me new girls to spend time, have sex, helped me to gain my man-pride back.
Later on, her normal friends i met during partying started to text me after our parties, some of them want to watch a movie, some of them say come to us this night so we can study (we have same studies) and some of them want drink a coffee. Here is the deal, i really dont know what to do.
Option A : There is a girl with a boyfriend. She is 4 age younger than i am. Her boyfriend is 1 age younger to her. She keeps talking with me and making jokes about "maybe i need a grown man like you (sexy whatsapp smile ";P" ) " And those jokes never end.. BUT she really loves his bf, her instagram page is full of with them kissing each other, boy spending time in her house with her mom, even after she tells me she will quit him after meeting him, she uploads pictures with him. And guy quit her this week, she cried really a RIVER till they start again. However, she constantly says guy is a kiddo, has a temper problems, she wants a cool guy, attractive guy (adds like you) and today, she said she went a fortune teller (its common in my culture, young chicks go) and teller described me giving clear info about my personality blabla. And conversation ended her saying maybe i want you. I juked all of this attempts by answering haha thanks, but could not juked the last one. I said im not into relationships but im open to any affairs, like friends with benefits. She changed topic into something different, did not answer this. I know even if i say i want her too, she wont quit her boyfriend and will make me his sugardaddy or shrine to cry. What would you do in such cases? She is damn hot btw, there is nothing sexy with her body, she is so small like minion type body (good butt tho) but there is something sexy with her. She is a GAMER GIRL, and always making jokes about how she can turn on a man BADLY if she wants. Its tempting me.
Option B: There is a Moroccan girl, i met while walking in the streets, she was asking the way but i could not help myself looking her tits lol. However, i said im going to same direction and walked with her, she gave me her number saying im the only dude who can speak english in the city (lel no) and maybe i can help more from times to times so she wont have any "culture shock" problems. She is planning to move Istanbul, right now she is in her country, our time together was awesome, she is an it in her country but planning to start teaching career in turkey and maybe modelling after that! But there is of course BUTS! First, she will have no money, no job when she comes. And expects me to help her! Before her departure, we were like almost having sex, we did not because she said she is VIRGIN. Said to myself WHAT THE FUCK! And she is serious about that, ISLAMIC WORLD! However, this brings so many problems, she started to ask questions such: would you come to my country and ask for my hand (ask my parents to potential marriage, like religious allow to spend time with ones daughter) and will you think about marriage again in future? PEFFFFFS, everything is good with her, she is ultra FEMALE, great in the kitchen, has super sexy body and a great face, tanned skin, charming smile, sexy french voice, sexy arabic, sexy turkish trying, fun to talk, i dont know why but i feel she respects me, listening me always, and believe what i say most of the times, she is like our grandmothers you know. Remember how they act to our grandpas! This is how i describe her. In every chance, im trying to convert her in a less conservative human, she wants to have sex but she says she will die if i leave her and she is not a young girl! This is so strange. 9 days after, she is coming back, i promised her to help about finding a job (almost find one) and a cheap flat. (almost find it too) But im not that rich, i recently bought a house and still paying its credits. This is a problem. I can seize in her attitudes, she puts me in a husband role due to her culture, i cant afford feeding two human being, when im always hungry, the fuck !
Option 3: And there is this bitch. After cheating, i guess the guy dumped her, even if she says she quit. Texting me 7/24 since 2 weeks, saying she cant sleep in her bed, some pillows smell like me still, there are memories everywhere in the house (we lived together for 2 years) and she dies for our sex. Her new guy was shit etc, never had a good sex since 9 months! She says she will make everything better, she will cure me, repair our relation, and everything will be really really better than ever, this time we are really making plans for marriage, she will wait until i fix my economy and go France with her to finish her masters together. She says even if i dont want to marry with her, she will be with me for at least 4 more years and she wont cheat on me again, that was a fault, she regrets every moment of that, everything she told me during her betrayal were typed with anger, and under affection of being in an another country with no happiness and money. BUT, i did not stop loving her just because she slept with another dude. I would do the same, but i would not leave her for being with a random girl. I would say sorry and never risk losing her. What she has done? She simply dumped me without saying sorry and i asked, is it worth to do this, you have only 1.5 month left in that country, she said yeah this happiness worth dumping you, im not gonna say sorry, i love him. This is why i dont want to be with her again. But there is something deep inside, saying that i should just check, how she acts, a better lover, or a bitch. However, being with her means i leave all the other options aside. And i leave my close friend that i mentioned above, she hates her. Simply, i will be imprisoned and im not the same guy. Half of me hates her so bad. The other half is only weak to her, it cant be the same love [when im planning how i would fuck her but not sex - see difference] and of course i dont want to have any serious relation. I really need advice about what to do. Im not good about deciding, i dont have any close male friends, they all left the city, and 2014, finding a bro soo hard pals. This is why i kept long. Respect incoming answers, peace out!
First girl > Third girl >>> Second girl in order of appearance imo. I wouldn't base the relationship only on looks though.
Now that the superficiality is over with...
Girl 1: Gamer girl, check. Into you already, check. If she's single, I'd say go for her, although be careful since she just broke up with her boyfriend. Feel out the situation.
Girl 2: There's nothing wrong with her being a virgin, but if her cultural and religious ideals are already turning you off, that's a serious red flag. Probably not worth it if one of you has to compromise your whole belief system for the other.
Girl 3: She already cheated on you. Run away, and never look back. Do not go back to her.
This should be you when thinking about the girl who cheated on you:
Seems pretty clear cut to me: go for Girl 1, but just make sure she's not just using you as a rebound from her ex. Sounds like she likes you though.
Would not you go for an one night stand with that cheater one? Sometimes i dream myself slapping her while making her scream she is a bitch, lol.
Personally I would not, but that's because I prefer to stay away from those who have scarred me emotionally. I also tend to think more in terms of dating than one night stands, so I'm not really coming at your situation through the perspective of wanting a revenge hook-up or something like that. I would take the moral high ground and just stay away from Girl 3.
It's a matter of definition but I don't feel this is really an awkward silence?
Now she is the one being reactive to circumstance, which is completely natural. A girl's emotional state is largely dictated by her environment and the positive/negative reinforcement she receives in everyday life. Your emotional state doesn't have to be.
"A girl's emotional state" is not inherently more dictated by that than a guy's emotional state.
From my experience, I find it to be true. Whether it's from genetic differences or brain plasticity shaped by social norms (most likely a combination of the two), women have a different relationship with their emotions than men. It's a reason why many guys are hopelessly lost when trying to deal with them as equals, and routinely complaint about not understanding their thoughts and actions. Pls no ty's experience with his former girlfriend is a perfect example of this phenomenon.
It's a matter of definition but I don't feel this is really an awkward silence?
Now she is the one being reactive to circumstance, which is completely natural. A girl's emotional state is largely dictated by her environment and the positive/negative reinforcement she receives in everyday life. Your emotional state doesn't have to be.
"A girl's emotional state" is not inherently more dictated by that than a guy's emotional state.
From my experience, I find it to be true. Whether it's from genetic differences or brain plasticity shaped by social norms (most likely a combination of the two), women have a different relationship with their emotions than men. It's a reason why many guys are hopelessly lost when trying to deal with them as equals, and routinely complaint about not understanding their thoughts and actions. Pls no ty's experience with his former girlfriend is a perfect example of this phenomenon.
It's a matter of definition but I don't feel this is really an awkward silence?
Now she is the one being reactive to circumstance, which is completely natural. A girl's emotional state is largely dictated by her environment and the positive/negative reinforcement she receives in everyday life. Your emotional state doesn't have to be.
"A girl's emotional state" is not inherently more dictated by that than a guy's emotional state.
From my experience, I find it to be true. Whether it's from genetic differences or brain plasticity shaped by social norms (most likely a combination of the two), women have a different relationship with their emotions than men. It's a reason why many guys are hopelessly lost when trying to deal with them as equals, and routinely complaint about not understanding their thoughts and actions. Pls no ty's experience with his former girlfriend is a perfect example of this phenomenon.
The #1 reason people don't understand other people (outside of serious mental illnesses) is because they have limited interactions with those people and people like them.
Your "women have a different relationship with their emotions than men" is patently wrong. I have a "different relationship with my emotions" than many of my male and female friends, and I have dated women that I understood as well as women that I didn't. There are unique experiences and shaping traits for men and women that will create unique circumstances, but for the most part, everybody is a variation on some nebulous core set of personalities.
On October 08 2014 12:46 pls no ty wrote: Hey guys, its again me. But i need real advice.
....
I really need advice about what to do. Im not good about deciding, i dont have any close male friends, they all left the city, and 2014, finding a bro soo hard pals. This is why i kept long. Respect incoming answers, peace out!
Let's start with girl 3, because that's the one you have shared the most of your life with. What about the relationship worked? What didn't? Were you happy? Did she respect you? Did you respect her? Why did she cheat? Can you understand and empathize with her motives? Do you think it will happen again? Do you actually value monogamy? Be honest with yourself about the relationship. If the only reason the relationship ended was because of cheating and everything else was good, then you might want to consider an open relationship. Fidelity is not for every couple. A functional relationship can be more important than a faithful one. Just be honest with yourself and be honest with the girl.
Girl 1 sounds like a girl I dated once. A gamer girl, and a college freshman and with a boyfriend. She was bored with him. I was 4 years her elder she was aggressively flirtatious with me. It didn't work out. Sure, I was exciting and sexy, but we weren't looking for the same things. We dated for a short while, then moved on. Doesn't mean you shouldn't go for it, but go in with realistic expectations.
Girl 2 doesn't really sound like a good option for you. It seems like your values are too far apart to make it work. She wants something committed right off the bat, and that seems to make you uncomfortable. Doesn't seem like a good fit.
This will be long. TLDR'er jokes are highly accepted.
If you dont want to read, in the first post i say im trying to move on a new life after breaking up with my 4 years long girl friend because of her cheating, and this time (thanks to my work) im trying with foreigners (non-turkish girls) since they are more friendly and better in many cases! (can explain if you ask what is this, but not our topic now)
I said im trying with strangers, but not only! I made a fresh new beginning with changing my friends and meeting new ones. Former friends were also her friends, so it was so hard for us and them to choose between. And i found a girl, she was my friend with benefits for a while but we stopped fucking, stood only as friends. As our friendship grows, we evolved something into, i dont know, i wont say brothers and sisters because theres still a fuck possibility (we kissed when we were high) but its like so strong, we are planning a life time friendship where we always put each other in to front when deciding about something serious etc. I guess you understood. This girl found me new girls to spend time, have sex, helped me to gain my man-pride back.
Later on, her normal friends i met during partying started to text me after our parties, some of them want to watch a movie, some of them say come to us this night so we can study (we have same studies) and some of them want drink a coffee. Here is the deal, i really dont know what to do.
Option A : There is a girl with a boyfriend. She is 4 age younger than i am. Her boyfriend is 1 age younger to her. She keeps talking with me and making jokes about "maybe i need a grown man like you (sexy whatsapp smile ";P" ) " And those jokes never end.. BUT she really loves his bf, her instagram page is full of with them kissing each other, boy spending time in her house with her mom, even after she tells me she will quit him after meeting him, she uploads pictures with him. And guy quit her this week, she cried really a RIVER till they start again. However, she constantly says guy is a kiddo, has a temper problems, she wants a cool guy, attractive guy (adds like you) and today, she said she went a fortune teller (its common in my culture, young chicks go) and teller described me giving clear info about my personality blabla. And conversation ended her saying maybe i want you. I juked all of this attempts by answering haha thanks, but could not juked the last one. I said im not into relationships but im open to any affairs, like friends with benefits. She changed topic into something different, did not answer this. I know even if i say i want her too, she wont quit her boyfriend and will make me his sugardaddy or shrine to cry. What would you do in such cases? She is damn hot btw, there is nothing sexy with her body, she is so small like minion type body (good butt tho) but there is something sexy with her. She is a GAMER GIRL, and always making jokes about how she can turn on a man BADLY if she wants. Its tempting me.
Option B: There is a Moroccan girl, i met while walking in the streets, she was asking the way but i could not help myself looking her tits lol. However, i said im going to same direction and walked with her, she gave me her number saying im the only dude who can speak english in the city (lel no) and maybe i can help more from times to times so she wont have any "culture shock" problems. She is planning to move Istanbul, right now she is in her country, our time together was awesome, she is an it in her country but planning to start teaching career in turkey and maybe modelling after that! But there is of course BUTS! First, she will have no money, no job when she comes. And expects me to help her! Before her departure, we were like almost having sex, we did not because she said she is VIRGIN. Said to myself WHAT THE FUCK! And she is serious about that, ISLAMIC WORLD! However, this brings so many problems, she started to ask questions such: would you come to my country and ask for my hand (ask my parents to potential marriage, like religious allow to spend time with ones daughter) and will you think about marriage again in future? PEFFFFFS, everything is good with her, she is ultra FEMALE, great in the kitchen, has super sexy body and a great face, tanned skin, charming smile, sexy french voice, sexy arabic, sexy turkish trying, fun to talk, i dont know why but i feel she respects me, listening me always, and believe what i say most of the times, she is like our grandmothers you know. Remember how they act to our grandpas! This is how i describe her. In every chance, im trying to convert her in a less conservative human, she wants to have sex but she says she will die if i leave her and she is not a young girl! This is so strange. 9 days after, she is coming back, i promised her to help about finding a job (almost find one) and a cheap flat. (almost find it too) But im not that rich, i recently bought a house and still paying its credits. This is a problem. I can seize in her attitudes, she puts me in a husband role due to her culture, i cant afford feeding two human being, when im always hungry, the fuck !
Option 3: And there is this bitch. After cheating, i guess the guy dumped her, even if she says she quit. Texting me 7/24 since 2 weeks, saying she cant sleep in her bed, some pillows smell like me still, there are memories everywhere in the house (we lived together for 2 years) and she dies for our sex. Her new guy was shit etc, never had a good sex since 9 months! She says she will make everything better, she will cure me, repair our relation, and everything will be really really better than ever, this time we are really making plans for marriage, she will wait until i fix my economy and go France with her to finish her masters together. She says even if i dont want to marry with her, she will be with me for at least 4 more years and she wont cheat on me again, that was a fault, she regrets every moment of that, everything she told me during her betrayal were typed with anger, and under affection of being in an another country with no happiness and money. BUT, i did not stop loving her just because she slept with another dude. I would do the same, but i would not leave her for being with a random girl. I would say sorry and never risk losing her. What she has done? She simply dumped me without saying sorry and i asked, is it worth to do this, you have only 1.5 month left in that country, she said yeah this happiness worth dumping you, im not gonna say sorry, i love him. This is why i dont want to be with her again. But there is something deep inside, saying that i should just check, how she acts, a better lover, or a bitch. However, being with her means i leave all the other options aside. And i leave my close friend that i mentioned above, she hates her. Simply, i will be imprisoned and im not the same guy. Half of me hates her so bad. The other half is only weak to her, it cant be the same love [when im planning how i would fuck her but not sex - see difference] and of course i dont want to have any serious relation.
I really need advice about what to do. Im not good about deciding, i dont have any close male friends, they all left the city, and 2014, finding a bro soo hard pals. This is why i kept long. Respect incoming answers, peace out!
Quite a mess you've found for yourself it seems. I've moved around many times throughout my life so I understand how a lack of bros can be really harsh at times, so I'll weigh in with my advice.
I think the first thing I would say, and this is something that took me more than a few harmful relationships to understand, is that all relationships are, fundamentally, transactional. I don't mean this in the sociopathic way that most people seem to imagine when I say this, I just mean that in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, both parties have needs, and those needs must be met by the other person. In other words, friendship (or partnership) is conditional-it is not an absolute. It relies on their ability to meet your needs, and also your ability to meet theirs (this is easy to forget). It may not be romantic, but all healthy relationships that I have been a part of have this understanding at their heart. Finally, in a romantic relationship, I think most people have two distinct needs that have to be met, first a sexual need, and second, a need for companionship/partnership. In the words of Hunter S. Thompson "Sex without love is as hollow and meaningless as love without sex."
With that in mind, this is my advice on the individual girls.
Option A) Seems to me like she is not the person that could meet your need for companionship, nor you hers. She also doesn't seem super stable in regards to how she deals with her current boyfriend, which may just be because she is young. Still, you've seen the red flags and that's why you're asking the interwebs about her, so listen to what your gut is telling her. The only thing stopping you, to be honest, seems to be the fact that you really wanna fuck her. Which is cool, as long as she understands that's all you want and you don't lead her into thinking you guys will end up together or something. Sex is fun, life should be fun, so do it and enjoy it. Just don't be a dick about it, you know?
Option B) She seems to have different needs to you at this moment. She, because of her culture or whatever reason, is definitely looking for, if not a husband, long term partnership. Can you fulfill this need? I can't answer that question for you, and you may not be able to either, but it needs to be asked. Secondly, she is not going to be able to fulfill your sexual needs at present moment. Are you willing to ignore this need for her companionship until she is ready? Seems like not, but then again, I don't and can't really know. One thing I can say for sure is that you need to be honest with her-find out what you want and make it clear. What she is bringing to the table is clear, what you are bringing needs to be clear as well. And if you don't know, don't waste her time by making her think you are ready, just nut up and make your decision. That's my advice at least.
Option C) Ah, the ex-girlfriend. First love I take it? My advice on this one is that you shouldn't go back to her, she cheated on you and did not respect your relationship when ending it. Also, a girl that cheats on you, and then wants you to stop being friends with someone (possibly out of jealously) is making demands on you she has no right to make. Also, she cannot fix you or make you happy, no person can do that. People can help, but all the legwork must be done yourself-don't fall into that trap, it is never healthy. She may be able to meet your sexual needs, but if you can't separate that from the emotional shitstorm than just walk away and save yourself the grief. Easier said than done perhaps, but that's my advice.
Honestly, I think you should just date the good friend you mentioned at the beginning and be over and done with it. A good relationship is not much other than a really good friend that you also sleep with, and the relationship that you describe between you guys seems like the healthiest possible one on the radar. But that may not be totally helpful, and I can understand that, but I'll say it anyways. Either way, good luck man, and never forget that too many women is almost always better than too few.
It's a matter of definition but I don't feel this is really an awkward silence?
Now she is the one being reactive to circumstance, which is completely natural. A girl's emotional state is largely dictated by her environment and the positive/negative reinforcement she receives in everyday life. Your emotional state doesn't have to be.
"A girl's emotional state" is not inherently more dictated by that than a guy's emotional state.
From my experience, I find it to be true. Whether it's from genetic differences or brain plasticity shaped by social norms (most likely a combination of the two), women have a different relationship with their emotions than men. It's a reason why many guys are hopelessly lost when trying to deal with them as equals, and routinely complaint about not understanding their thoughts and actions. Pls no ty's experience with his former girlfriend is a perfect example of this phenomenon.
The #1 reason people don't understand other people (outside of serious mental illnesses) is because they have limited interactions with those people and people like them.
Your "women have a different relationship with their emotions than men" is patently wrong. I have a "different relationship with my emotions" than many of my male and female friends, and I have dated women that I understood as well as women that I didn't. There are unique experiences and shaping traits for men and women that will create unique circumstances, but for the most part, everybody is a variation on some nebulous core set of personalities.
There is a huge variance out there, no doubt about it, but a great variance doesn't invalidate a clear trend. Let's take color blindness for example. The fact that 10% of people are color blind does not invalidate the fact that 90% don't ( not real numbers ). The fact that 90% don't have color blindness is still valid and of value to us, and thus shouldn't be dismissed.
It's an argument that inevitably is made in these discussions. Just because you know some girls who aren't particularly emotional ( or whatever claim is being made ), does not automatically invalidate the statement that most women are.
I absolutely agree with CosmicSpiral. Women are dominated by their emotions to a larger extent than men. Obviously not ALL women, but there is a trend there. I don't think it's a bad thing at all though, and I think it correlates with social skills, which is why women tend to have better social skills than men.
Been with this guy for about 4 months, going strong and well, we're both happily together. The other day, he ended it, saying he "wasn't ready" I see him an hour later going out with some other guy. Love is a painful, terrible lie, avoid at all costs.
I deserve the skepticism since I never explained what I meant by that completely ambiguous phrase. We're not supposed to talk about that type of stuff here, so I'll just agree to disagree.
On October 22 2014 04:02 SoylentGamer wrote: Been with this guy for about 4 months, going strong and well, we're both happily together. The other day, he ended it, saying he "wasn't ready" I see him an hour later going out with some other guy. Love is a painful, terrible lie, avoid at all costs.
Well perhaps he wasnt ready for the commitment - or being exclusive. In any case you are probably better off without him. Back on the horse!
On October 22 2014 04:02 SoylentGamer wrote: Been with this guy for about 4 months, going strong and well, we're both happily together. The other day, he ended it, saying he "wasn't ready" I see him an hour later going out with some other guy. Love is a painful, terrible lie, avoid at all costs.
The healing starts now. Don't let the stress affect your doto skills Channel the emotions that come with a breakup into higher MMR.
On October 22 2014 04:02 SoylentGamer wrote: Been with this guy for about 4 months, going strong and well, we're both happily together. The other day, he ended it, saying he "wasn't ready" I see him an hour later going out with some other guy. Love is a painful, terrible lie, avoid at all costs.
The healing starts now. Don't let the stress affect your doto skills Channel the emotions that come with a breakup into higher MMR.
Considering i'm in the trench right now, that would probably be a good idea :3
I wonder exactly why the whole minefield of romance fucks you up mentally sooooo badly. It seems to me to be a bit of a design flaw of sorts, irritates me beyond belief.
Any breakup, or even relationships that have started to go badly pretty much equate to a battle between my emotions and nostalgia, and cold logic that cloud my focus on so much else.
It's pretty damn debilitating, I suppose our ancestors probably had different rituals when it came to 'dating' mind!
On October 23 2014 08:36 Wombat_NI wrote: I wonder exactly why the whole minefield of romance fucks you up mentally sooooo badly. It seems to me to be a bit of a design flaw of sorts, irritates me beyond belief.
Any breakup, or even relationships that have started to go badly pretty much equate to a battle between my emotions and nostalgia, and cold logic that cloud my focus on so much else.
It's pretty damn debilitating, I suppose our ancestors probably had different rituals when it came to 'dating' mind!
You are a biological machine programmed to reproduce as efficiently as possible; basically a breathing machine for your dick, so it follows that you will experience some pretty powerful emotions when dealing with the opposite sex ( or whoever you're attracted to ).
Your emotions are optimized for you to survive and reproduce, not for you to live an easy and happy life, so in that regard this makes perfect sense, and is a feature not a bug
edit: so apparently posts like this one are not allowed. Discussing dating without a biological context is like discussing physics without a mathematical context; pointless and completely devoid of any real value towards gaining a useful model to work with. Tabula Rasa is why so many men are frustrated with dating, and it needs to go!
If we want to fully understand physics, we need to use math. If we want to understand the mechanics of attraction ( a biological mechanism ), we need to use biology. They are not "tangentially related". they are inseparable.
EPT
Channel the emotions that come with a breakup into higher MMR.
